Elwin – an Elf's Love

Note: I got a few reviews saying that I would have drawn out Elwin and Legolas just being friends for longer, and to be honest I thought I was too! But I'm not sure I could have kept that up for much longer. Glad that went down well with you guys, because I was so nervous it was going to be WAY too early, instead of just a little. This was hard to write because, to be honest, I had NO idea how I would follow it up... the last chapter was a little improvised to be honest!

~ Chapter 11 ~

My head was spinning. I didn't know whether I should pull away or lean in further. Some part of me didn't want to do anything. It just wanted to wait and see what Legolas would do, for this moment never to end.

A question burned in my mind: Did I kiss him or did he kiss me? It had all happened so fast, I wasn't sure who had made the first move. All I remember was the sensation of his lips against mine.

But before I could wrap my mind fully around the situation, we broke apart, shattering our connection. I gazed up at him, my jaw loose and open with shock, the taste of his lips still lingering and fizzling on my own.

There was a moment of quiet as we both waited for the other to talk. Finally, not being able to stand the silence, I opened my mouth and spoke. My mouth was dry, and I wasn't sure what would come out, but, nevertheless, I was more than happy to break the quiet.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean for us to... you know," I apologised, still unsure what had just happened.

He nodded slowly and understandingly, but it annoyed me that he still didn't speak. I suppose he wasn't as perfectly cool and calm as I had previously thought. There might just be some things that rile him up enough to change his personality momentarily.

I guess one of those things is me.

There were so many feelings buzzing around inside me. I was so confused! I didn't know if I wanted to feel this way, to actually want to have him kiss me, to be close to me like this. It made me feel so vulnerable, a feeling which I was certain I didn't like. I was so used to having him ridicule me, for him only coming close to me when he needed to.

But now this? Was this supposed to mean something? How was I supposed to know what it meant, or how I felt?

There was too much confliction crashing about in my mind, it was just as awful as the deafening silence we had shared moments before.

"Maybe I should go," I said, unable to stand much more of this panic. I didn't know how I felt and I didn't want to be around him until I had figured myself out. Until I had figured out why we had done that.

Or maybe it wasn't us. Maybe it was just me?

"Elwin, wait–"

My mind was so numb; everything seemed to be going by in slow motion. I was still trying to readjust my mind back to reality, for everything to process and come together. All I really knew was that I was leaving to find a place where I could bring myself together again, and that he didn't try to follow me. I still wasn't sure whether or not I had enjoyed it, whether I had wanted him to stop.

I tried not to break into a run, however much I wanted to. I didn't know if he was still watching after me, or if he had gone yet, but I was too afraid to look back.

What had I done? Did I mean to... to kiss him? I didn't want him to think that there was something between us, and I certainly didn't want him to think that I actually felt for him.

"Are you looking for something?" I voice asked me and I whipped around. I had been so caught up inside my own thoughts, that being brought back to the real world so quickly had been a big shock.

I looked around to see the woman in the white dress that we had spotted a few days before. I hadn't been able to get a good look at her before, but seeing her close up I realised she was quite pretty. Théoden had called her a name before, but it had slipped my mind for the time being.

As I studied the woman, she took the chance to speak to me. "You're that Elf that arrived with Aragorn and the other travellers, aren't you?" she asked cautiously, taking a step towards me. She must have judged from the expression on my face that I was deep in thought, and didn't want to annoy me.

I nodded, shaking my head to free myself from the memory that had happened moments ago. I needed time to think about Legolas, but that didn't mean I wanted to. Talking to this girl would be a perfect distraction.

"I am. You've spoken to them?" I asked, curious to know whether my friends had mentioned me at all.

"I have," the girl answered, then furrowed her brow at me. "Aragorn was worried about you. He said you seemed very reserved lately, and wasn't leaving the great hall much. But I can see he was just fretting over shadows."

I smirked at the thought of Aragorn complaining and worrying to this poor girl about me. No wonder she felt the need to talk to me, she must know half my life story already.

"Yes, he came and spoke to me earlier. I agreed to leave to keep him quiet," I admitted, and the girl laughed, almost blushing at the subject or Aragorn. "I'm Elwin, by the way," I said, feeling guilty for having such a light-hearted conversation without knowing the other participants name.

"Éowyn," she introduced herself, extending her hand. I took it and smiled at her. As people began to fill the streets again (the effects of the lazy lunch period wearing off), she took me to a small, quiet area where we could sit down and continue our little chat without interruption. "So, have you been travelling with Aragorn for long?"

I shrugged, thinking back. "I guess so. I'm not really sure; we haven't really been keeping track of the time. Long enough," I grinned.

"What's it like travelling with three men? Do you get distracted?" she asked and giggled. I narrowed my eyes at her, but she didn't notice. "What are they like?"

Jokingly I asked, "Are you always this curious?" and she nodded and crossed her arms defensively. I didn't want to feel like I had offended her, so answered her question. "Aragorn is exactly the man you'd expect him to be. He's strong, fearless, and always willing for everything to go out good, but sometimes he can be a bit too fatherly." I noted back to him worrying over me, a small smile twitching at the corners of my lips. "Gimli is great. I love him like he was my brother. I've never really been associated with Dwarves, considering the way I was brought up, but if they are all as sweet as him, then I would be happy to meet many more. And Legolas..." I sighed, contemplating what to say next. "I don't know what to think of him. Usually we don't get along too well, but things seem to be okay lately... well, they used to be okay," I added onto the end, muttering the final sentence under my breath so that Éowyn wouldn't hear me.

Éowyn tightened her lips, seemingly confused about something. "Really, you don't get along with him? I would have thought that you guys would be close?"

"Close wouldn't exactly be the word I would use. Put it this way... he's just so completely... impossible."

There was literally no other word for him. I was just so confused right now; there were just so many conflicting emotions. I didn't know whether rejecting my feelings for the Elf was the right course of action, but I couldn't backpedal now. Not yet, at least.

But right now, I just wanted to continue my conversation with my new friend in peace, without having his face crossing my mind. I didn't even want to say his name. Éowyn was my distraction from him, and I just hoped with all my heart that she would be enough.