Once is back! Once is back! Are you guys as excited as I am?

I really dislike the second half of this chapter. It was necessary, but really hard to write. I probably re-wrote it 5 times. Trying to put it all into words that wasn't OOC for Emma and Ruby was really difficult. I hope its okay. Also, I know I've eluded a lot to Walsh betraying Emma but never gave the full story. That's for a reason. When Emma finally tells the whole story about what happened, it will be to Killian.

Chapter 11: Emma

"Your gorgeous Irish guy plays piano?" Ruby asked her.

Emma rolled her eyes, quickly turning her head to look in his direction, worried that he might have overheard her ridiculous friend. The distance between the bar and the piano was not that great. "Keep your voice down. He is not my Irish guy and yes, it would appear he plays piano, or he's really good at faking it." Emma hissed at her friend.

"Did you know?" Ruby asked.

"That he played or that he would be here playing? Neither until a few minutes ago. David told me someone was here to see me and dragged me into the small dining room. Killian was there and he explained what we learned earlier, he's the guy recommended by Rita." Emma replied.

"So he wanted you to know he was here instead of just surprising you? That's pretty impressive Emma." Ruby beamed.

Emma nodded. Ruby had a right to be impressed; Emma was too. It was as though Killian truly wanted to put her at ease around him, acknowledging her quirks and responding to them in ways that left her feeling confident and not as though he were trying to pull one over on her. "I know."

"Do you like him?" Ruby asked.

Emma fought hard to keep herself from flushing. "Can we discuss this somewhere else, at another time?"

"I'll take that as a yes." Ruby grinned, handing Emma the drinks she initially came over to the bar to get.

Bidding her last table goodnight, Emma made her way over to the bar, noticing Killian was no longer there. Before she could take a seat, Ruby plopped a can of Pepsi on the bar, one stool over from where Killian's beer sat. With a roll of her eyes, she slid onto that stool. "Ask Doc to make me onion rings?" Emma asked.

Ruby nodded and disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, nodding at Emma on her way out to indicate her onion rings were being made. A few moments later Killian came back to his bar stool. Emma knew it was there before he sat down, she could sense the surprise in his step as he noted her proximity. When he slid into the stool she turned her head, ready to ask him about his first night of playing, but he spoke first, pointing at her soda can and asking about the lack of a shift drink.

Emma rarely drank at the restaurant preferring to substitute her free drink in favor of an appetizer, something David didn't mind. She told Killian about her onion rings, and as if on cue, they came out from the kitchen a moment later.

As a child, Emma had learned to hoard her food and to eat quickly. Sam and Daniel ate nearly twice as much as her and if she didn't scarf down the food the second it touched her plate, it would be snatched away by one of the brothers. Sharing did not come easily to her, but when she heard Killian inhale at the fried scent of onion rings, she found herself uncharacteristically offering him one. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as his lips pursed, blowing cool air onto the battered ring and delicately taking the first bite as to not burn his tongue on the onion within. His lips pursed again, blowing on the next bite. The line of his jaw became more pronounced as he chewed, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed and though she knew it was completely ridiculous and even a bit weird, she found watching him eat fascinatingly attractive, so when the first onion ring was gone, she pushed the plate to the space on the bar between them and told him to have another.

When the plate was empty and she had retrieved her personal items from her locker, it only felt natural for Killian to offer to walk her out so she readily agreed. As they headed down the sidewalk toward her car, she remembered that she never asked him her question from the bar. "So how was your first night of playing?"

"I found it rather enjoyable. It was quite easy to get lost in the music and just play through the sheets. Much easier than playing guitar for a crowd." He replied.

"Every play for any big crowds?" She asked, curious to know about his musical history.

"No, love. Just an overcrowded bar or nightclub some nights." He answered. "What did you think of my playing?"

Emma's eyes darted to his. "Don't tell anyone." She whispered. "But you play better than Grant and Jay." The conversation had flowed so easy with him she almost didn't realize they had arrived at her Bug.

He turned, leaning up against her driver's side door, easy smirk on his face like he belonged there. "Really, Swan?" He asked, eyebrow shooting up. "You found my skills to your liking?"

She couldn't help but smile at his obvious attempts at flirting. She shrugged. "You can play a piano well Jones. I don't know anything else about any of your other skills."

He pushed off the car with his hips, causing her eyes to follow the movement. She knew what he was doing but that didn't stop her from responding. "Perhaps that could be arranged." He said, drawing out the words and punctuating the last syllable of his sentence with a suggestive look.

She snorted. "Please. You couldn't handle it."

He stepped forward, pivoting her so her back was against the car leaving her wondering how that had just happened. He stepped forward, invading her space and tilting his chin down just slightly to look her in the eye. "Perhaps." He nearly whispered. With a shrug of his shoulders he continued. "Or perhaps not."

She tensed slightly, unsure of how to respond. Her head (or hormones) told her to grab him and kiss him senseless and see if he was just all talk. Her heart, however, told her to ignore it, not willing to risk being broken again. Her mouth opened, jaw moving although she had no idea what she planned to say.

As though he sensed her inner struggle, the heat and desire in his eyes faded and his lips eased into a soft smile. "No need to rush into a decision, Emma." He said in a low voice. "I'll be around a while."

She blinked stupidly at him, not expecting his sudden change in demeanor. "Good night Swan." He said softly, turning to leave.

Practically of their own accord, her fingers shot out, grasping his hand to keep him there. "Thank you for asking David to see me first earlier." She said sincerely and before she could second-guess herself, she leaned forward, pressing her lips softly to his cheek.

She dropped his hand and stepped back but not before she watched his lashes flutter in surprise, his lips part and the fingers she had just released come up to touch where her lips just were. Turning away from him she muttered goodnight before focusing on unlocking her car door.

It wasn't until he had walked away, leaving her alone in the silence of her car did she allow herself to let out the breath she had been holding and allow her mind to catalog the last minute to memory; the slightly spicy scent of his skin, the contrast of the softness of his cheek against the stubble that her chin brushed against, the way her lips were still tingling.

-\-

"Emma. Earth to Emma Swan. Do you read me?" Ruby asked.

"Huh? What?"

"Dude. You're reading, actually reading, Fluffy Kitties Monthly. You left a customer on hold and I've been calling your name for five minutes. I'm coming over tonight and we're talking about this."

"Talk about what?" Emma stalled, trying to push the conflicting thoughts from her mind on focus on her friend in from of her.

"Don't play dumb. We're going to talk about the tall, blue-eyed Irish looker that has you reading cat magazines." Ruby replied.

"There's nothing to talk about." Emma protested. She knew if she agreed to have this conversation with Ruby she'd be faced to deal with her emotions, something she typically tried to ignore.

"Bullshit, blondie. You have beer? I want pizza." Ruby replied in a no nonsense tone.

"Yes I have beer." Emma replied quietly and tried to spend the last two hours of work actually paying attention to what was going on at the auto shop.

Ruby followed Emma home, parking her red convertible behind Emma's yellow bug and following her into the house. Ruby grabbed two beers from the fridge and plopped down on Emma's couch. A few minutes later, after the pizza was ordered, she fixed Emma with a look. "So you gonna start or do I need to drag this out of you?"

"I don't know what you want me to say. Everything is fine. I'm fine."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Did you forget who you are talking to? I know you're lying Emma. Since you didn't deny it last time and said we'd talk about it another time at the bar, I'm pretty sure the way you're acting is because of Killian. Since you've shown like no interest in any other guy since you've been here...I just want to know what's going on. I am your friend. Friends talk about these things."

Emma appreciated Ruby's concern and desire to help. She realized it had been more than a decade since she had a close friend. There were a few coworkers back in Texas she was friendly with, but she rarely ever saw them outside of work. Ava had lived across the street from them in Minnesota, one of the few places they managed to live for more than a year or two. Ava had befriended her on the first day of school after she she saw Emma eating lunch alone. The two had been close friends for four years before Emma came home from school one Thursday afternoon to find her items thrown haphazardly into boxes, the minivan Ingrid drove already overflowing with household items. Ava had stayed late at school for band practice and despite Emma's begging, Tony refused to wait until Ava got home for Emma to say good-bye. It was nearly three weeks before they settled into a new house and Emma could write a letter to her old friend, trying to explain her sudden departure. They kept up with letters and the occasional phone call for a few years but eventually more and more time passed between the calls and letters until they just stopped altogether.

"I've just been distracted lately. Killian has nothing to do with it. We're...friends." Emma replied.

Ruby snorted, her disbelief of Emma's summation obvious. "Lies. So what is actually happening is you're distracted because of Killian, because you like him. And it's freaking you out because you 'don't do relationships anymore', your words not mine, which is your prerogative. He's clearly attracted to you Emma and wants to be more than just friends."

"He said we could be friends." Emma argued, realizing she sounded like a child.

Ruby sighed and Emma could tell she was trying to figure out how to change tactics. "I think you're scared."

Emma hated to be called scared, or more importantly, she hated to be called out on it. Her upbringing didn't didn't allow for her to be scared or weak. She quickly learned being, or at least pretending, to be confident and strong meant she wouldn't get picked on for being the new kid at school or being the kid with the thrift-store clothing or being the kid who never had enough money to purchase a snack at lunch.

She fiddled with the beer bottle in her hand, pressing her thumbnail under the label and digging until she got it to detach from the bottle. Carefully she continued to peel the label off in one piece, stopping and nudging against the adhesive when it became stuck. It was an avoidance technique she learned early on, stalling and pretended to be interested in something else to hopefully avoid a conversation she didn't want to have. But she knew that Ruby would be patient, letting Emma stall and gather her thoughts, but there was no way she was going to drop the conversation entirely.

She thought back to when she first arrived in town, quickly securing a job at the auto shop and how easily Ruby had become a permanent fixture in her life, pushing her when she needed it and backing off when she knew it was necessary for Emma to become introverted for a while. Rubbing the label of the bottle back and forth between her fingers, Emma realized it would be a lot easier for Ruby to understand her hesitation toward Killian if she knew about her past.

Despite how painful it was to dredge up the unpleasant memories, Emma took a long swig of her beer and started talking. "My last relationship ended badly. Really badly. I thought we were going to get engaged, get an apartment together in the city and then I found out it was all a lie. He had been lying to me from the beginning. I don't do well with being betrayed. He wasn't my first bad relationship but I decided he was going to be my last. I don't need a boyfriend, a fiance or a husband. I'm perfectly fine on my own." Emma finally replied, filling her friend in on the bare-bones version of what happened with Walsh back in Texas.

Ruby looked as though she wanted to argue but restrained herself, taking another sip of her beer and waiting for Emma to continue.

"I've learned to read people pretty well over the years. The whole knowing if people are lying is just part of it. I can typically tell if someone is a good or bad person by just spending a few minutes with them. The last guy blind-sided me and I realized it was like that with all of my relationships. Once I let my guard down far enough to really care about someone, I can no longer tell when they're lying or what they really want from me. But Killian is different; I can't tell. There's times where he's all saucy smirks, innuendo-laden lines and quirked eyebrows. I've dealt with guys like that before. They know they're attractive so they flirt with anything female that comes across their path, playing up the game of how good they are in bed and how they'll never leave a woman wanting, but they're useless. They're nothing but vapid wastes of space in attractive bodies. But then there's this other side of him. He named his dog Brinkley from You've Got Mail. Seriously, the damn dog is named after a chick flick. That he admitted to watching! And clearly remembered enough to name his dog after! Then he goes and learns how to make hot chocolate and sat outside of the restaurant with it so I could try it, not even knowing that I worked there for sure or if I'd even be there then!" Emma huffed, taking a swig of her beer before barreling on.

"He had a brother. He was killed by a drunk driver in Connecticut which is why Killian moved down here. He told me that, voluntarily. Shared that with a stranger! You know what happened at the restaurant last night and I shared food with him! He was Mr. innuendo the other night and he's looked at me like he wanted to kiss me more than once but then he goes and says he wants to be friends. What the fuck, Ruby?"

Ruby grinned, relieved her friend finally shared what was going on. "Alright word vomit, let's go over this piece by piece okay? Not every guy is out to hurt you. I get it, you've had shitty relationships before, and so have I, but a few bad ones doesn't mean that you need to close yourself off forever. Vibrators can't hold a conversation, Emma." Ruby said bluntly causing her friend to blush. "Look, I don't know him very well, but even just from what you've said, I don't think he's a bad guy. He was so entranced with you at Betsy's that first day I couldn't believe it. Yeah, he might be a pretty boy but they're not all 'vapid wastes of space in attractive bodies' as you so nicely put it. Victor is pretty but he has substance too, you know."

"I know Killian has substance! He perfectly described why I like being near the ocean and it sounded like something from a damn poetry book and it didn't sound fake. But he still flip flops back and forth between substance guy and useless flirt." Emma argued.

Ruby thought for a moment before replying. "If he wasn't flirting with you, would it matter? Or does it only matter because it makes it harder for you to read him? Do you like him? Do you want to be just friends or do you want more from him, previous bad relationship issues aside. You at least find him stupidly attractive right?"

Emma rolled her eyes in response to the last question.

Ruby laughed. "Hey, I had to check. Now come on, answer the rest of the questions."

Emma sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know. I guess just because it makes it harder to read him. I don't dislike him. It's better for us just to be friends. I don't do relationships. It's too small of a town just to have a fling because if it goes wrong, then I have to run into him repeatedly until October."

"I think you're making excuses and the fear of your previous relationships is controlling what you do now. Did you ever have a rebound after that relationship?" Ruby asked.

Emma winced. A rebound wasn't physically possible at the time and when she could have had one, the interest was just gone. It was easier to swear off relationships and men for the time being. "No, there wasn't a rebound."

Ruby's eyebrows raised but she didn't push Emma for further details. "What if it's a fling that doesn't go wrong? What if you end up happy? What if it becomes more?"

"He's a tourist. His lease ends in October. The only person who thinks he wants to be more than friends with me is you so this conversation is pointless. There isn't going to be a fling because you don't have flings with friends. " Emma said.

"You stayed after your first lease ended. He could too." Ruby pointed out, only pausing the conversation long enough to answer the door and take the pizza from the delivery girl. "I think you're the only person who doesn't see that he wants more. Or, more likely, you're just using that as an excuse because then you can pretend to just be friends with him and not deal with your feelings."

"So you think he lied when he said he wanted to be friends with me?" Emma asked, beginning to wonder if she had really lost her touch entirely to be able to read people.

"I think he told you want he thought would make you feel more comfortable. I think he gets you. I mean, no one told him that just showing up at Coconut's to play the piano make you suspicious, right? He wanted you to know first, not to be surprised. And like you said, he learned how to make your favorite drink. Do you know of any friends who do that right off the bat?"

"Point taken. But that's part of the problem too. It's like he can read me so well sometimes. I'm supposed to do able to do that. Not him. I don't like it." Emma admitted.

Ruby burst out laughing.

"What is so funny?" Emma asked.

"Oh just that one of the most cliche things a woman says she wants is a man who understands her and can anticipate her needs and here you have this guy that can do that and you can barely stomach the idea of being friends with him because of it." Ruby replied.

Emma scowled and decided to focus on eating her slice of pizza instead of responding to her friend. Ruby followed suit, the pair of them making a sizable dent in the large pizza.

"You sure you don't want him in a friends with benefits situation? You'd probably be much less prickly with multiple orgasms every day, you know." Ruby teased, determined to make progress with the conversation one way or another.

"Ruby!"

Ruby snorted. "What? You've admitted you're attractive to him. I'm fairly certain, like practically positive, that man is not going to be bad in bed."

"I thought you were supposed to be helpful. No relationship. No fling. " Emma frowned.

"Fine. I'll let the relationship part of it go for now, but I reserve the right to think you're a moron for not taking that man to bed. I don't know if I think he's an idiot or a genius for telling you what makes you comfortable but I think at the very least you guys should be friends. And then I can get to know him and if my thoughts change, I'll let you know. So do you think you can be friends with him? It would be really awesome to have someone else to hang out when it's me, you and Victor right?"

"I guess." Emma conceded. The remaining slices of the pizza were quickly finished and Ruby stood up, tossing her bag over her shoulder.

"Don't spend the entire night over analyzing everything Emma. It's not going to do you any good." Ruby said, knowing it was exactly what Emma was going to do anyway.

As expected, Emma replayed their conversation over in her head later that night as she laid in bed, sleep eluding her restless mind. For as much as she hated to talk about emotions and feelings, the conversation with Ruby had helped. At the very least it was nice to be able to vent to someone about Killian's wishy-washy actions.

Even the thought of a relationship still caused her to panic, fear creeping up the back of her spine, her fingers clenching and a thin line of perspiration breaking out on her forehead. She knew not every relationship would be like that, that people were capable of having normal relationships not built on a fragile tower of lies. In her heart she hoped one day she could have that but she knew that she still wasn't ready. She had more important things to worry about initially than Walsh's betrayal and then found it easier to just pretend it didn't happen. Running away to the beach town had helped, allowing her to not just physically distance herself but to shove away those emotions she didn't have time to deal with. The more time that passed, the easier it was to ignore. But by never dealing with them properly, ever reminder was just as raw and painful as if his betrayal was only a day ago.

She tried to think of the ocean, to focus on the repetitive motion of the waves to calm herself but her mind was too anxious. She needed the real thing.

Slipping on her shoes and a hoodie, she grabbed her keys and headed to her car. She decided to go to the main beach, knowing it and the small main strip would be deserted at this time of night. She pulled her Bug into the parking spot closest to the beach and made her way to the wooden path that lead to the beach.