dawning

.:sandstom calling:.
chapter eleven

"They found nothing."

His voice was grave, dark. Sakura felt almost oppressed by the tone. The sharpness of the Kazekage's gaze only added to the growing tightness in her belly. Gaara was completely focused on them.

"Were they ordered to come here?" Shikamaru asked.

Sakura glanced at her squad leader out of the corners of her eyes, trying to get a read on his feelings. The way he asked that question reminded her of the way a school teacher queries his students. It wasn't a question asked to gain new information, it was a question asked to confirm what he already knew.

The Kazekage sat back, settling deeper into his chair as he brushed a lock of dark, red hair out of his eyes. "Yes. Kakashi's team is already on their way."

"Then we found something of interest after all," the shadow user said.

Gaara snorted. "What you found will likely trigger a civil war. What matters now is how we go about diffusing the accumulating power before it gains enough strength to crush us."

In the oppressive silence that followed the Kazekage's statement, Sakura worked up the nerve to ask the question that had been nagging at her since their first meeting. "It's the baby, isn't it? They really are creating another Jinchuuriki."

The way his gaze pierced hers was all the confirmation that she needed. The severity of his expression and the hard tone of his voice reminded Sakura of the old Gaara. The glimmer of insanity and blood lust were long gone, but the intensity was enough to make goosebumps prickle along her flesh.

Shifting his attention to Shikamaru, Gaara said, "Your team is under my command for this mission while you are within the Wind Country so I am giving you a new assignment."

Sakura unconsciously braced herself knowing instinctively that whatever Gaara's orders were going to be, she would not like them.

"You are to return to Hitofuki immediately," the Kazekage said, the darkness of his voice taking on a hard edge. "I do not trust Sasuke so he will remain here, Temari will take his place. Kakashi's team should arrive within a day. Upon their arrival, I will have Kankurou guide them to Hitofuki. They will be your backup."

"And what is our objective in Hitofuki?" Shikamaru asked.

"You will continue your charade," Gaara said. "Give whatever excuse you wish for why the two of you have returned there. It doesn't matter. Your mission is to locate Ami and take her into custody. I know it is still too early, but if she has already delivered by the time you arrive, you are to locate her baby."

The Kazekage paused and leaned forward in his seat. Even though Sakura was standing at least four feet away from his desk she felt as though he was looming over her when he leveled his heavy gaze upon her. The weight of his stare caused the tight knot in her belly to constrict painfully.

"At the first opportunity, you must eliminate that infant. Under no circumstances must the Akatsuki be allowed to have a Jinchuuriki under their control."

It took a few seconds for the shock and horror that washed over Sakura's features to be sloppily covered up by forced calm. "But Gaa—" she hastily corrected herself, "K-kazekage-sama, is it really necessary to murder an infant?"

"Yes," was the simple, quick reply.

"Why?" she pressed. "Naruto... you... if we can take the child into custody—"

"You underestimate the Akatsuki."

"You undervalue this baby's life," she hissed, her anger sparked at his condescending tone.

"No, Sakura, I simply value the lives of the tens of thousands of people under my care more."

Jaw clenched, the medic-nin narrowed her eyes at the Kazekage and said, "You are talking about an infant, Gaara. A child."

He held her gaze silently, each willing the other to see their point-of-view. Stubbornness emboldened her as she refused to be the first one to look away. After a few seconds she realized that she had not only used his name in an informal, discourteous way, but she was arguing with a kage. Even her shishou wouldn't put up with such blatant disrespect.

But, he said nothing. Did nothing. As the seconds continued to tick by, Sakura actually thought that he might be reconsidering, but his impassive expression gave nothing away. Then the detached calm of his voice when he finally spoke removed all hope.

"It is imperative that the Akatsuki fails to acquire this Jinchuuriki by any means necessary," he said.

Hand clenched at her sides, Sakura finally tore her gaze from the Kazekage.

"The Akatsuki has seven bijuu," he continued. "The seals used to bind a bijuu inside of a human being are known to cause trauma. The only exception would be the seals that the Uzushiogakure used, but that knowledge died when their village was destroyed." Gaara leaned forward, peering intently at Sakura, "As soon as it was determined that I could host the Shukaku they immediately sealed it within me. My mother was barely seven months pregnant at the time and the jutsu caused her to go into labor. She died shortly after I was born. If this girl is pregnant with a Jinchuuriki it was created using a jutsu that we have not been seen before. I am unwilling to allow the Akatsuki to gain any additional power. This thing is a weapon and and it must be dealt with before it can be used against my people and yours."

Sakura licked her lips and said, "Y-yes, but if we take the infant and Ami we can—"

Gaara held up his hand and she immediately fell silent. "Knowing the history of the Akatsuki and their persistence in reaching their goals, if we take the child alive, they will only work to reclaim it."

"By that logic, perhaps we should ask Naruto to kill himself," Shikamaru said, voicing his opinion for the first time.

Gaara's eyes moved languidly to meet the shadow-user's gaze.

"I agree with Sakura," Shikamaru continued. "The easy course of action would be to eliminate the baby, but we are not in the business of slaughtering children."

The Kazekage smirked. "Only since my rise to Kage status has Suna not been in the business of slaughtering children," Gaara said, ignoring the Leaf medic's shocked expression. "My father, after all, tried to kill me several times. More than anyone, I understand the power we are talking about and I know you understand the price of failure."

He paused, assessing them both as they processed his words. "Remember this: We don't know who is supporting the Akatsuki right now. We don't know who is among their ranks. We don't know if their goals have changed, and if so, what their new objective is. We can only assume that they want what they have always wanted — military, political and economic domination over all of the reigning Feudal Lords, shinobi Kages and elimination of any who oppose them."

Silence reigned and Gaara released a deep sigh as granules of sand circled around him, darting angrily to and fro. "I, too, find the murder of an infant to be distasteful. I do not make this request lightly, nor do I pretend to not understand your resistance to it. My job is to protect my family, my people and what I find even more distasteful is the notion of the Akatsuki gaining more power through a Jinchuuriki of their own creation." His eyes locked with Sakura's for a long moment, he asked, "If you were to succeed in capturing the target alive, would Konoha be willing, and able, to protect it and Naruto?"

Sakura opened her mouth to answer, but Gaara never gave her the opportunity.

"The Akatsuki would not easily give up such a child," he continued. "I will not risk the lives of my people. Neither will your Hokage."

Swallowing hard, the medic-nin asked, "If we take Ami into custody and she is still pregnant?"

"That would be ideal," Gaara said. "We would abort her fetus."

"Without her consent?"

"Yes."

Heart pounding hard in her chest and adrenaline flooding her veins, she quickly curled her hands into fists to prevent anyone from noticing her trembling. She knew she was a tool. She knew her purpose in life was to serve. That's what a shinobi did. In spite of the logic, in spite of the deep sense of knowing that what Gaara said was right in a purely tactical sense, she didn't think she could live with herself if she had to carry out his orders. Not when all Sakura could think about was the naked fear in Ami's eyes when she asked her if she was in danger. Swallowing hard, the pink-haired medic willed herself to maintain an outward facade of calm even while her insides felt like they were melting into a quivering mass of anxiety and horror.

Gaara's expression softened when he caught sight of the slight trembling of her hands. "I am truly sorry to ask this of you, Sakura," he said quietly, "but I see no other option. This is the way with the least amount of bloodshed. We are trading one life for thousands."

"But you know this is wrong," the pink-haired kunoichi whispered. "You know it is! Ami is a victim. Her baby is a victim. There has to be another way."

"This is war," he said, voice gentle but unyielding. "Innocent people die in war. I make no excuses, but the reality is that the Akatsuki has turned what that girl is carrying into a weapon and we have no other choice but to treat it as such."

"That baby is no different than what you once were. You changed! How can you—"

The darkness reflecting in Gaara's expression forced Sakura's words to die in her throat when he said, "I know, Sakura."

Eyes downcast, she stared at the floor. It was infuriating that she could not argue with his logic. Worse, Shikamaru had barely said a word throughout the entire meeting. Of all the people who might be able to think of an alternative plan, it would be him. The fact that he remained quiet only reinforced what Gaara had already said — there was no other way. She would have to kill a child.

"Your concerns and protests have been heard, but your mission remains unchanged," Gaara said. "If you refuse to follow my orders, I will be forced to find someone else to do it. Protocol stipulates that I will also have to report you to your Hokage and the ruling Council in Konoha for insubordination. If you wish to formally refuse the mission, say so now. Time is short."

"That won't be necessary," Shikamaru said, voice resolute.

"Good," the Kazekage leaned back in his chair. "I trust the two of you will do what is necessary."

Neither Leaf-nin said a word.

With a few quiet words of instruction and a nod toward the door, the Kazekage dismissed them.

• • •

There was a smudge on the opposite side of the window, obscuring his view and generally getting on his nerves. He scowled, and peered past it to focus on the 5-man squad as they made their way down the street and away from him. A trembling of anger at the base of his neck shivered to life and his fingers unconsciously touched the spot where the remnant of Orochimaru's curse remained.

He focused on Sakura, staring hard at the back of her bright pink head. Hands clenched at her sides and back ramrod straight, the medic-nin radiated anger. Sasuke narrowed his eyes as he focused on her, wondering who had sparked her temper and why.

The shadow user fell into step beside her and Sakura tilted her head toward him. Sasuke frowned at their proximity and a dark, foreign emotion that he thought himself incapable of feeling bubbled up inside his chest as he watched them. Without being able to see his lips move, the Sharingan user was unable to discern what Shikamaru was saying and his curiosity was insatiable.

'She pays too much attention to him,' he thought when Sakura gave a slight nod and Shikamaru began to speak to Hinata and Shino. 'He's not worth her time.'

Sasuke poured all of his annoyance into his gaze as he stared at the back of Sakura's head. As if feeling his anger, she glanced over her shoulder to peer in his general direction. He knew she couldn't see him, but it gave him a bit of pleasure to see her focus return to him.

Then Shikamaru said something and Sakura's attention was diverted back to the shadow user. That irked Sasuke much more than he expected.

Jaw clenched, he pushed down his anger as he watched the group make their way toward the main village gate. It didn't bother him that his fellow Leaf-nin were leaving him behind. Quite the opposite, actually. What irritated him was the fact that Shikamaru never told any of them the full details of the mission. Not once did he mention that they were investigating a new lead from a recently active Akatsuki. Not once did he hint that they might be on the trail that could eventually lead Sasuke to his brother.

Even worse, Sakura obviously knew these things and didn't tell him, either.

'She pays too much attention to him.'

And now he was "confined to Suna Village until further notice." At least, that was the official order handed down from the Kazekage, but there was more than that. Sasuke wasn't just confined to the village proper, he was now under constant surveillance.

The Sand-nin assigned to him denied it, of course.

"I'm here assist you, Sasuke-san," the older shinobi had said. "Not spy on you."

Sasuke knew better. He could feel the eyes upon him, watching. It was a feeling he was well familiar with since his early recovery under Tsunade's care years ago, but being used to the feeling didn't make it any less bothersome. The fact that it was the Sand watching him, instead of the Leaf, exacerbated his ire.

He already knew that the Kazekage did not trust him. Gaara made it quite obvious what he thought of Sasuke and his rehabilitation. As far as he was concerned, the Uchiha survivor should have been executed as a traitor. Which was laughable to Sasuke. After all, how many of his own Sand-nins did Gaara kill before he turned into the pompous, self-righteous asshole otherwise known as 'Kazekage?'

They were all lying to him. Shikamaru, Sakura, Gaara... none of them could be trusted. But Sasuke was certain about one thing: the Akatsuki were moving again. Which meant that his brother was finally coming out of hiding.

And Sasuke wasn't about to let anyone stop him from seeing his brother one last time.

• • •

Dread seemed to coagulate in Sakura's veins, forming a tight lump in her chest when the village came into view. With Temari leading them, the group arrived to Hitofuki much quicker than expected, leaving the medic-nin with considerably less time to mentally prepare herself for the task ahead.

Shikamaru had barely spoken to her since the two of them met with Gaara hours before, save for the few instructions he gave her as they were leaving the village. At first, she interpreted his silence as his way of processing the change to their mission — but with the ease of which he spoke to Temari during their travel, even going so far as to joke with her — Sakura doubted that was the case. Part of her wondered if the shadow user was avoiding her.

The mission parameters had been neatly explained to Hinata and Shino. "We believe the Akatsuki has an interest in Ami and her baby. We are to prevent them from obtaining them."

There was no mention of kidnapping, infanticide, forced abortion or any such grisly task. Not that Sakura really wanted to talk about it, but Shikamaru's lack of disclosure perturbed her all the same. She couldn't say that she was surprised by his decision to not tell the others. It would be difficult enough for the two of them to have to go in and carry out the Kazekage's request without having to explain the situation in full detail. Temari would most likely handle that.

But still, it bothered her. Everything seemed to bother her. And her anger only became worse the closer they got to Hitofuki, and much of it was directed toward Shikamaru. Several times while they were checking over the hotel room the two Leaf-nins bumped into each other, causing the annoyance already bubbling inside of Sakura to nearly boil over. It took everything in her to not snap at him when he announced that he was going to take a nap the moment they finished verifying the security of their hotel room.

"Fine. Whatever," Sakura said, waving a dismissive hand in Shikamaru's direction. She didn't bother to look at him. Crouching down next to one of her packs, she began to rummage through her things for a change of clothes. She heard Shikamaru sigh and knew what he was going to ask before he voiced it.

"Are you okay?"

Tension tightened her posture. She measured her words, trying to sound as neutral as possible, "I'm fine."

Sakura could feel him watching her, studying her and she wanted to tell him to mind his own damn business. Anything to get him to leave her alone. She was tired and angry and felt the childish urge to seek solitude specifically so she could pout for a while. When Sakura finally turned to face him fully and met his scrutinizing gaze with an up-raised chin and defiant gleam in her eyes, she mentally dared him to ask her the same question again so she would have an excuse to yell at him. He seemed to read her expression well enough to let the subject drop without another word. This also annoyed her.

Gathering her change of clothes, Sakura locked herself in the bathroom. A good soak always managed to calm her, even on her worst days. She sat in the stillness of the bathtub until the water grew tepid and her fingertips wrinkled, her mind working hard to try and figure out a way to honor the Kazekage's orders without having to kill Ami's baby. Every time she thought of the young woman, the image of her mangled hand and eyes full of fear for Kisho filled her mind. More than anything, Sakura didn't want to cause any more harm to the girl than what she had already been forced to endure.

Unfortunately, as hard as Sakura tried to think of a way to protect Ami and her baby while thwarting the Akatsuki, the more she realized that it was hopeless. The Akatsuki could not be allowed to acquire any more power.

'I hate this,' Sakura thought miserably, immediately feeling like the 12-year-old genin she once was. 'It seems like nothing makes sense anymore. Not this mission, not Shikamaru and certainly not myself.'

Lip caught between her teeth, Sakura bit down until she tasted blood, willing herself not to cry.

'Shinobi show no emotion,' her thoughts whispered. 'No emotion. '

In spite of her internal mantra, her chin continued to quiver. With a muffled whimper, Sakura buried her face in her hands and let herself cry. She did her best to keep her sobs to herself, but the sound of movement beyond the door alerted her that Shikamaru was awake. Holding her breath, she hoped that he'd just go away.

He knocked instead.

"Are you okay?" he asked through the door, concern adding a quality to his voice that caused Sakura's chest to tighten painfully as fresh tears leaked from her eyes. Knowing that she would have to answer him, she forced herself to breathe deeply and calm her emotions. A second knock, more insistent than the first, nearly foiled her attempt.

"Sakura?"

"I'm fine," she snapped, immediately regretting her tone. She hadn't meant to respond to his concern with anger.

Shikamaru said nothing. Instead she heard him move away from the door and Sakura mentally groaned.

As much as it upset her to be ordered to assassinate a baby, her odd relationship with Shikamaru was doing more than its fair share of torture. For days she had been stubbornly reminding herself that the kisses they shared were faked for the benefit of a mission, but still thoughts of him persisted. Attempting a new track, she told herself that the reason she felt drawn to him was simply a temporary fluke due to her self-esteem taking a hit after Sasuke's rejection. After all, she rationalized, it made sense that she would welcome the masculine attention from someone she trusted. If it wasn't Shikamaru, it would have been someone else.

Right?

Sakura slumped deeper into the tub, the water just touching her chin. Even as she thought it, she didn't believe it. In fact, there was a quiet voice of doubt in the back of her mind that was beginning to wonder if she had ever really loved Sasuke at all. Surely if she had truly been 'in love' with him her attraction toward Shikamaru wouldn't feel quite so strong. Ino once told Sakura that she was "in love with being in love" to explain her refusal to move past Sasuke. The comment had caused a major argument and before the end, Ino took back her words and never mentioned it again.

Now Sakura wondered if that wasn't true. She couldn't deny her attraction for him. Not when thoughts of him plagued her so much, and certainly not after witnessing the camaraderie shared between Temari and Shikamaru as the group traveled from Suna Village to Hitofuki. It was watching the two of them that ultimately sent Sakura's mood into a tailspin.

She was jealous.

And if she was jealous that could only mean that her attraction had nothing to do with the pretext of posing as his wife or her bruised ego from Sasuke's rejection. She simply wanted him. All of her hard work rationalizing every 'weird' thing she had been feeling and thinking about was actually real. Sakura really was starting to fall for the lazy, chauvinistic jerk. Hell, she even wanted to kiss him. She wanted to continue what she started on the last night of the Romance Festival.

But even more than that, she wanted him to feel all those things about her, too.

She grimaced. Just thinking about it made her feel like a lovesick teenager again. Which she did not need. Not after Sasuke. Not during this mission. Not while her self-confidence was still shaky and her ethics and morals as a medic-nin were being strained to the breaking point.

The last thing she needed was a damn crush.

Stepping out of the tub, Sakura dried herself off and slowly pulled on her clothes. She would have to get her thoughts focused and apologize to Shikamaru for being so grumpy. He really didn't deserve her anger and she felt terrible for her behavior since returning to Hitofuki. Already planning what she would tell him and what she would not, she did her best to hide the evidence of her earlier tears. She would explain that Gaara, their horrible mission, and the Akatsuki were the reasons for her recent behavior. Her growing fondness for him and the jealousy she felt toward his relationship with Temari would be avoided at all costs.

• • •

Shikamaru sat on the corner of the bed staring at the bathroom door as he pondered what to do about the woman locked away inside. He debated knocking again, but hesitated.

'At least she seems to have stopped crying,' he thought. 'But she is taking a damn long time in there...'

Mind made up, he stood and took a step toward the bathroom when the door suddenly opened. Steam rolled out as Sakura stood before him. He frowned as he studied her. She was barefoot, her petite body dwarfed by the oversized shirt and pants she wore as bed clothes. Her green eyes were puffy and bright from crying and her face was still flushed from her bath. Damp, pink hair hung around her face, causing her features to appear strangely gaunt and her expression somewhat haunted.

"Sakura..?" he asked, his voice reflecting his concern.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. She met his gaze for only a few seconds before peering down at her toes. "I know I've been moody, and... I'm sorry. This whole thing has me a bit out of sorts."

He studied her intently, wondering why she refused to maintain eye contact with him. The corners of his lips dipped downward as a shadow of a scowl darkened his features.

"Okay."

Sakura seemed to deflate at his one-word response and he wondered what she had expected him to say. When she moved to stand in front of the mirror and comb her damp hair, he decided he was curious enough to give the subject a slight nudge.

"What's going on?" he asked, lowering himself on the edge of the bed again and peering at her through the mirror.

"What do you mean?"

"You," he said, gesturing toward her. "What's going on in your head? You've been preoccupied."

"I told you ," she said, a little too quickly. "The mission — Ami..."

He observed her quietly, noting her continued refusal to meet his gaze. "I see."

Only then did she glance at his reflection in the mirror, her expression clearly annoyed, but she remained silent.

"Anything else on your mind that I should know about? I get the sense that you're only telling me what you think I want to hear."

"Is the Squad Leader concerned that I might be distracted and unable to perform my duties properly?" she asked, voice clipped.

Shikamaru sighed and turned his gaze toward the ceiling. He knew she was upset about Gaara's orders. He had intended to discuss it with her before they left Suna, but the opportunity never arose. And when they finally did arrive in Hitofuki, her behavior toward him was so closed off and borderline hostile that he decided that the best thing to do would be to keep his distance for a while.

It was becoming quite obvious that something else was bothering her — something she clearly didn't want to talk about — and it had nothing to do with Gaara's orders. He just needed to figure out if he should press her about it or leave it alone. Either way, it would be troublesome. Women were always troublesome.

Finished with her hair, she began to gather medical herbs and supplies from hidden pockets within her pack and carefully laid them out on a wide, ivory-colored mat on the floor in the far corner of the room. His interest was piqued when she pulled out a scroll and summoned even more medical supplies. Including a light gray porcelain mortar and pestle.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she began to measure out ingredients.

She answered without looking at him. "Making poison."

"Oh?"

She began to grind some plant material together in the mortar.

"What kind of poison?" he pressed.

"It's really a medication used to induce labor," she stated. Shikamaru recognized her tone as the voice she used when performing her medical duties. "I'm adding a strong sedative and a few toxins to it that should depress the circulatory system of the fetus and cause it to die during delivery."

He frowned. "What will that do to Ami?"

"Hopefully nothing," she said. "But if I give her too large of a dose, it could kill her."

After several seconds of nothing but the distinct sound of her grinding ingredients together, he asked, "You're okay with this?"

She paused, catching his gaze with a dark glare. "Of course I'm not okay with this!"

The air felt heavy as they peered at each other, each carefully studying the other. After the moment stretched out uncomfortably long, Sakura was the first to look away and the grinding resumed.

"I'm not okay with it, either, Sakura."

"You have an odd way of showing it."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

Jaw clenched and lips forming a tight line, she picked up a small ceramic spoon and began to transfer the pulverized plant material into a waiting glass dish.

Shikamaru sighed as he sat down beside her, careful not to disturb her work. She wasn't kidding when she said she was moody. Had the situation been different, the shadow user would have been content to let her calm down on her own, but now he had no choice. It was quite obvious that she thought it would be her job to eliminate the target, which was something he had decided she would have no part of while they were still in Suna.

"I wish you would have talked to me before beginning this project of yours," Shikamaru said.

"And why is that?" she asked in a dry tone as she reached for what appeared to be dried flower petals. She crushed them with her hand and sprinkled them into her concoction.

"Because it is unnecessary," he said. "Though I suppose it will be a good backup alternative should I fail."

She looked up at him, expression puzzled. "What do you mean, 'should you fail?'"

"When the Kazekage gave us his orders," he said, rubbing the back of his head, "he may have intended for you to be the one to fulfill them, but I do not."

Sakura sat back and gaped at him. Then her eyes narrowed, "Why?"

"I don't think it would be appropriate."

"You don't think I can do it."

He scowled. "I never said that."

"Then what do you mean, specifically?"

"You're a medic-nin, Sakura," he said with a sigh. "The last thing I'm going to ask you to do is kill an infant. I know you're more than capable of completing a mission as required."

She stared at him, jaw clenched and lips pressed together to form a tight, thin line. Her frustration was obvious. He expected her to say something snide, but instead her eyes began to brighten with fresh tears. This only seemed to anger her more. She struggled against them, but Shikamaru sensed it was inevitable. The realization only deepened his scowl. He didn't want to make her cry.

"Don't... I mean..." he paused, feeling helpless as her countenance continued to crumble before him. "This isn't about your ability," he said, breaking eye contact with her to scrutinize the forgotten mortar and pestle beside her. "I mean... damn, Sakura. I don't know why you would think that anyone would think you incapable of anything. Everyone knows that you're a Chuunin by rank, not by skill. The only reason you aren't a Jounin — or even ANBU — is because the Hokage trains you so hard and the hospital is always in need of you. That's a problem of time, not skill or ability."

He glanced at her out of the corners of his eyes and saw that Sakura's anger appeared to deflate, but the tears still threatened. She stubbornly blinked them back. The corners of Shikamaru's lips quirked upwards into what he hoped to be something close to an encouraging smile.

"I have never doubted you," he confessed quietly. "I just don't want you to have to do something like that. I don't want you to have the death of that baby on your conscious. I will carry that burden, not you."

Shikamaru didn't realize that she had moved until he felt her arms wrap around him in a tight hug. A tear-stained face pressed into his chest as deceptively delicate hands curled into the fabric of his shirt. Sakura's body gently shook as she cried against him. He held her awkwardly, uncertain if he should say something or simply hold her. Silence, he decided, was probably the safest course of action. He lifted his hand and gently stroked her disheveled, pink hair, trying not to be too jerky with his movements. His ministrations seemed to have the effect he wanted as she began to relax against him.

"I'm sorry," she muttered into his shirt, voice miserable and sheepish. "I shouldn't have... I didn't mean to act like that."

"Don't worry about it," he said as her arms began to loosen around him, indicating her intent to let him go.

Her green eyes peered up at him when she finally pulled away. Face still flushed from crying and pink hair sticking out at odd angles, she offered him a small, embarrassed smile. Seemingly of their own volition, his hands were wiping away the last of her tears and tucking loose strands of pink hair behind her ears. Her smile turned grateful and shy and Shikamaru felt drawn in. Tracing his finger from her earlobe, down her jaw to her chin, he tilted her head upwards.

He wanted to kiss her. His intention when he pinched her chin was to do just that. And he knew that she wanted him to kiss her, too. He could feel her anticipation. It lapped against him in waves, inviting him. The temptation was almost too much, but he knew if he gave in there could be far more troublesome problems than if he simply let the moment go.

Pulling his hand away, he struggled to think of something to say to diffuse the tension between them when Sakura spoke.

"What... what was that?" she whispered.

The shadow-user regarded her, but said nothing. Her bravery seemed to ebb away under his overly analytical gaze, but she did not look away. Then it all changed. One moment, Sakura appeared uncertain and hesitant and the next she was scrutinizing him with eyes narrowed. Her anger felt distinctly familiar to what he sensed from her when they first arrived.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked, voice low.

Shikamaru frowned.

"There's no one here," she whispered fiercely. "The festival is over. There are no witnesses. No one to fool."

"Sakura..."

"What was that just now?"

He hesitated.

"Don't do that," she whispered. "You confuse me when you do that."

"I'm confusing you?" he scoffed.

She glared at him. "Tell me I'm crazy then. Tell me I'm acting like a genin on her first mission. Tell me I'm seeing things, and feeling things, that aren't real." Leaning toward him, she whispered, "Tell me that I just imagined that you wanted to kiss me a few seconds ago."

"Sakura, now isn't—"

"No! I want to know," she insisted. "You look at me like that... the touches... and then you pull back." She peered at him sharply, as though trying to see into him. "You don't seem like the type to play with someone and I seriously doubt you're that good of an actor, Shikamaru. Just tell me the truth and be done with it. What are you doing? How am I supposed to respond? Please, I need to know."

He clenched his jaw. "I explained it when you were healing me—"

"No," she said, cutting him off. "You told me to 'forget about it.' Obviously I haven't. And from what I've seen, you haven't, either. So spell it out for me."

Jaw clenched, he glared at her. They exchanged hard stares for several seconds before Shikamaru reached for her, closing the distance between them. The kiss was as intense as it was sudden. There was no hesitation on her part when their lips met. Her hands snaked up his arms and around his neck as her lips parted to allow their tongues to touch.

His hands slowly explored the top of her thighs, the roundness of her hips and the curve of her waist. When his thumbs finally brushed against her breasts he felt a shiver run through her. The movement, though subtle, was dangerously inviting, especially when he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. Scenarios churned through his mind as he considered what he should do next. To continue down this path meant possibly doing something both of them may regret — but to stop now seemed just as troublesome.

Lowering his hands back down to her waist, he forced himself to break the kiss and pressed his forehead against hers. Eyes closed, he sighed.

"I'm confusing you," he murmured, a hint of mocking in his tone.

Sakura stiffened under his hands, "Y-yes."

He smirked, still holding her. "You confuse me," he said, opening his eyes to peer into hers.

"How do I..?"

"I like kissing you, Sakura," he said, interrupting her. "I'd like to kiss you again. And more."

Sakura felt herself blush and the corner of his mouth quirked upwards.

"Kissing you is a troublesome thing, even if I wasn't your squad leader and we weren't on a mission together," he pulled back from her, breaking the contact between them. "I think you carry too much memory. I doubt anyone can compete."

She hesitated for a moment, then, "You mean Sasuke."

"I don't want to be the man you use to get over Uchiha," he specified. "And there is the fact that I am your squad leader. You are a student and assistant to the Hokage. You know the rules."

"I'm not using you. And I don't..." she paused. "Sasuke doesn't see me. He never has."

He quirked a brow at her, "Doesn't he?"

Sakura's eyebrows scrunched together as she gave him a questioning look. "You really think that?"

"I know that," he said, then sighed. "But it doesn't matter. The point is, you still see him. Don't you?"

Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly. Then she shook her head. Sakura's inability to verbally answer his question was all Shikamaru needed to know that he was right. While she very well may be on the road to getting over Saskue, he was certain that she still had some feelings for him, confused as they may be.

'If things were different,' the shadow user thought, 'I'd not waste this opportunity.'

Silence reigned between them as Sakura stared holes into the floor. Resisting the urge to touch her again, Shikamaru pushed himself to his feet.

"Is that it?" Sakura asked, still not looking at him.

He sighed. "Yeah. I think so."

"Because of Sasuke?"

Returning to his spot on the bed, he said, "The way you are now, a relationship between the two of us would never work. It would be troublesome and we'd just end up resenting each other. I'd rather not let that happen."