A/N: Sorry for the delay again! Its all finished now :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I dont own dragon age or the characters

Throwing herself completely into the Eluvian was the only coping method Merrill had available to her, therefore when she could not figure out why the mirror was not working her world was thrown into chaos. She knew that the only way to finish the mirror was to seek out the spirit on the Sundermont again, but she couldn't go up there alone. She sent a message to Isabela begging for her help and sat waiting for her to respond.

When the knock finally came Merrill threw open her door and started speaking really quickly with her back turned to the person who had entered, "I need to go back to the cave to find the spirit that helped me before, I am missing something and I don't know what but the spirit will know! You have to help me Isabela, I don't know who else to go to."

The voice the responded was not Isabela's, "you could have come to me Merrill."

Merrill's eyes widened and she turned to face none other than Hawke, "H-hawke, I-I," she couldn't find the words, they were lost to her.

"I know I should have come to see you sooner, but I didn't know what to say. I was hurting and acting stupid."

"You weren't acting stupid, you're never stupid. I was stupid, I said stupid things and acted stupid. I'm sorry."

"I know, I am sorry for not coming sooner, especially since now you got it into your head that we need to seek out this spirit."

"I know you think this is stupid or dangerous or something but I have to do this Hawke I am so close, I just have to."

"No Merrill, this is too dangerous."

"Hawke please, this is what I have been working for and I need help, you help everyone else please help me."

"We have to talk to Marathari first if we are going to do this."

"The clan will have moved on already there is no point in trying."

"Fine Merrill I will help you because I love you."

Merrill smiled, "thank you Hawke. But there is one more thing."

Hawke raised an eyebrow, "what?"

"If something should go wrong, if I should become possessed you must kill me."

"What? N-no! You cannot ask this of me Merrill, the past few weeks without you have been torture."

"Hawke you must promise."

"Please don't ask this of me."

"Hawke!"

"No! I won't kill you Merrill."

Merrill sighed, "then we will bring Fenris, he would gladly strike me down at the first opportunity."

Merrill saw the tears in Hawke's eyes as she nodded, "fine, Merrill fine. We will bring Fenris."

"Thank you Hawke, this means so much to me."

Hawke sighed, "this is the last thing we do for this mirror ok?"

Merrill nodded, "ok, I won't need to do anything else I know it. This is it I can feel it."

Once again Merrill's mission did not go as planned the first bump in the road was when they reached the place were Merrill was certain the Dalish would not be any longer. When they reached the camp Merrill was shocked to find that the Dalish were still encamped in the same place as they had always been. Merrill approached Marathari and said, "What are you still doing here Keeper? The clan should have moved on already."

"Oh, we still have business here."

Merrill shook her head and watched curiously as Hawke pulled the Keeper aside to talk to her, no doubt about what Merrill was planning. When she returned Marathari was walking in the other direction with a grave expression on her face.

"Satisfied? She doesn't care," Merrill said walking in the direction of the cave.

"She seemed to care, I think she cares a great deal Merrill."

Merrill just shook her head again and they walked the rest of the way to the mountain in silence. Once they reached the cave Hawke stopped her before she could go inside, "are you sure about this Merrill?"

"Yes of course I am its going to be ok."

"Let's go, I cannot wait to strike you down blood mage," Fenris said walking past her.

Isabela drew a knife and put it to his throat, "I swear to the Maker Fenris if you try to strike her down I will bring you down faster than you can draw your sword."

"I'm here to strike her down Isabela, I came for no other reason."

"If something should go wrong! Do not threaten her when nothing has gone wrong!"

"Something always goes wrong with blood mages, it is there way," he said pushing Isabela's knife away from his throat.

Merrill did not know just how right Fenris would be, once they were in the cave they found, not the spirit, but the Keeper. The Keeper told them of how the demon was going to use the Eluvian to be free of its prison and Merrill would likely be its first victim. So instead of allowing Merrill to bare the price of her blood magic the Keeper had chosen to pay that price for her and the only way they could destroy the demon was the kill the keeper.

In the end of the battle Merrill fell to her knees at the Keepers side, "why did you do this? It should have been me! You shouldn't have done this!" Merrill sobbed at the Keepers side until Isabela came and lifted her to her feet, "come on kitten we have to go."

Hawke walked in front of them and took responsibility for Merrill when they were confronted by the Dalish. No one spoke all the way down the mountain, they even separated once in the city without a word. It wasn't until a few hours later that Hawke showed up at Merrill's house.

Merrill was sitting in front of the mirror with the Keepers staff laying at her side sobbing. She felt Hawke walk up behind her, "What have I done Hawke?"

"I don't know," Hawke's voice was icy.

"I just wanted to help my clan, I-I didn't want her to die."

"Someone had to it seems, that mirror is nothing but trouble."

Merrill stood and faced Hawke, "I know, I know that now."

"Destroy it."

Merrill's eyes widened, "I know I should but I-I no!"

"Even after all of that you still want to keep the mirror."

"It's still a piece of Dalish history, and with the demon gone its not a danger anymore."

"The Keeper is dead because of that mirror! Use your sense woman!" Hawke scoffed, "Anders was right you will always chose your demons first, I was a fool to think otherwise." Hawke turned and walked out of the house.

"No! Hawke!" But she was already gone, Merrill picked up the Keepers staff and shattered the mirror just as the Grey Warden had done years before. She looked at the shattered remains in anger, "you have cost me everything! Everything! I should have never tried to restore you!" Just then there was a knock at Merrill's door, she dashed to it hoping Hawke had come back, however when she opened the door she was met only with a black sack over her head and then a strange sensation of falling asleep. All she thought as she felt herself falling into the darkness was, I'm never going to see Hawke again. I love her, please don't let them kill me.

The next thing Merrill new she was in a dark realm. She could see nothing not even the ground she was sitting upon. She tried to reach in the darkness and found nothing, every move she made she was met with more darkness until, like a light flickering on, she saw Keeper Marathari. Merrill blinked twice unsure if what she was in front of her was real, "Keeper?"

The Keeper smiled at her just the way she used to, "Hello Da'len."

"Great Creators! But you're dead!"

"Yes I am."

"Am I dead then as well?"

"No Da'len thank the creators you are not."

"Where am I?"

"Oh under a blood magic induced sleep."

"How will I get out?"

"She will save you Da'len, but you know this already."

"She who?"

The Keeper shook her head, "this is not why I am here Da'len there are much more pressing matters."

"Then why are you here? What are these pressing matters you speak of?"

"Matters of the heart Da'len. We are here so you will not lose her, you have already lost so much."

"Lose who? What do you mean we?"

From the darkness came another familiar voice, one she had not heard for many years, "We are the keeper and myself Merrill."

"Aspen."

"Merrill listen to us you will lose her if you do not learn to stop punishing yourself and holding on to all of the old hurt."

"Who am I going to lose?"

"You know who," replied Aspen.

"Hawke?"

"Indeed, you will lose her if you do not stop blaming yourself for my leaving and the anger you feel over my betrayal. These things are the past you must let them go."

Merrill looked at her sternly, "when you left my heart broke into 1000 pieces. I thought that it would never be the same, the only thing I clung to was the promises of love we had made each other. So you can imagine my surprise when I found out that you so easily replaced me."

"It wasn't easy and I felt guilty for it every day but Leliana made me feel happy and safe. I love her just as I loved you Merrill, you cannot blame me for this can you?"

"No I cannot, you see the truth is when I met Hawke the 1000 pieces started to find each other and become larger pieces, still broken, but working on becoming whole again. She made me feel better and happy and I felt guilty for that too. I love Hawke in a way I never loved you, she is wonderful and beautiful and it doesn't have to be a secret. My heart has long since healed but it seems that sometimes old wounds do open and I didn't expect what happened that night with Leliana to happen. I was so angry with you, but I shouldn't have been. How could I have been when I was faced with such an amazing woman, how could I be angry with you for finding the same happiness I did?"

"Let the anger go Merrill."

"Yes, I think it is time that I did that. I still miss you sometimes you know."

"And I you, but we were not meant for each other you know that."

"Yes and I am thankful to have found the person the creators meant for me. But I made quite a mess of that. Hawke will never forgive me."

The Keeper had stepped closer to Merrill, "yes she will Da'len. She loves you as fiercely as you love her. But you have hurt her many times of late and if you are to keep her than you must tell her how you feel and stop contradicting it."

Merrill nodded, "I will of course, that is, if I ever get out of here."

"Oh I think it's about time for you to wake up."

"What? What do you mean?"

But before the Keeper could answer Merrill felt as if her body were being lifted out of the darkness and indeed it was only moments before she was opening her eyes to the bright sun. She looked around her and immediately saw Hawke kneeling beside her, "Hawke! You came for me, I knew you would, I was so scared I didn't know what was happening and the last thing I thought was that I would never see you again and I couldn't never see you again without telling you that I love you so much. You are incredible and I am love-"

Hawke cut her off with a kiss, "I know Merrill and I love you too. Very much."

Merrill wrapped her arms around Hawke and rested her head on Hawke's shoulder, she was safe and no matter what was to come she knew that she would be with Hawke and stand by her side, no matter what.