The previous chapter was a little shorter than usual, so I thought I'd post the next one early. This one is a bit shorter too, but the next will be more substantial. Anyway, hope you like it. Thanks as always to my brilliant beta Prothrombintime.

Chapter 11

Jack paced anxiously in his office the following morning. After a restless night plagued with confusion and a heavy sense of foreboding over John's cryptic message, he'd woken a little after six o'clock. Feeling nauseous and with his head pounding violently, he'd downed some painkillers and then taken a long shower, staying under the hot spray until he'd felt ready to face the new day.

He'd already drank four cups of coffee since crawling out of bed. In hindsight, he realised that consuming so much caffeine hadn't been one of his more brilliant ideas. His stomach churned unpleasantly, and while his headache had receded, he was feeling edgy and apprehensive.

Given the magnitude of what he was about to do, his feelings of uneasiness were entirely justified, he reasoned with himself. There was clearly no precedent for downloading one's consciousness into a computer system. The sheer insanity of it all wasn't lost on Jack. But it seemed like such a long time since anything in his life had been even remotely close to normal. He wondered how John had felt before the first time he'd plugged himself into the system. It was likely his friend had been almost frenetic with excitement, and probably entirely unmindful of the enormity of the risk he was about to take. While John had certainly never been a fool, his unreserved enthusiasm had sometimes gotten the better of him and had tended to overshadow his common sense.

John's words haunted him. For a brief, insane, selfish moment he considered taking John's advice – just throw some essentials in a bag, jump in his car and never look back, leaving all of the pain, turmoil, and weight of responsibility behind. The possibility wasn't entirely unappealing. As he indulged himself in the fantasy, he wondered about asking Ianto to go with him, and if he would agree. It was a ridiculous notion, but just in that brief moment, it was incredibly tempting.

His thoughts shifted further to the Welshman. He wondered what they were to each other now – friends with benefits… lovers… part-time shags? It was all different and strange, and he didn't have any basis for comparison. However, entangled amidst everything else he was feeling, there was a definite sense of anticipation for their evening together. It had been a long time since he'd felt excited about being with someone, but the timing couldn't have been worse, and the shadow of guilt lingered. Realistically, the most he could hope for with Ianto was a short-term and purely physical relationship – a warm and willing body to lose himself with. Given his situation, he couldn't offer anything more than that, no matter how much he might have wished otherwise.

The proximity alarm blared, pulling Jack abruptly from his thoughts. The deep groan of the cogwheel door reverberated through the silence of the Hub as it slowly rolled open. Jack glanced down at his watch. It was just after ten o'clock.

There was the echo of hurried footsteps as Jack stopped pacing and leaned his weight against the edge of his desk. He masked his features as best he could and looked expectantly towards the doorway. Owen appeared a moment later, looking reassuringly scruffy and ill-tempered. Jack almost managed to smile at the familiar sight of his cantankerous friend.

"What's going on, Jack?" Owen asked without preamble as he crossed the threshold and came to a stop in front of him.

Jack opened his mouth to reply but Owen stepped closer and looked at him intently. "Bloody hell, mate. You look like shit."

"Nice to see you too, Owen," Jack replied sardonically. "And thanks. That makes me feel so much better."

"Have you been eating?" Owen demanded, still staring at him.

"Yes, dad," Jack retorted. "Three square meals every day."

Owen didn't look impressed, but Jack knew that he was genuinely concerned. For all of Owen's cynicism and belligerent manner, he cared about all of them deeply. He'd just never admit it. "Wanker," Owen muttered with a scowl.

"I'm okay, Owen," Jack lied, becoming serious again and hoping that he sounded convincing. "I haven't been sleeping very well."

Owen nodded, the look on his face suggesting that he wasn't fairing much better. Jack doubted that any of them were.

"How's Toshiko?" Jack asked.

Owen sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "She's devastated, but she's trying to be strong. Probably as much for my sake as her own. And for the others. Tosh is one tough lady." His eyes softened, and a hint of a smile ghosted over his mouth. "It's going to take time. For all of us."

Jack nodded but couldn't help thinking that time was one particular luxury he didn't have. At least he could take some solace in knowing that his team looked after each other. They'd be all right. "I'm glad you've got each other, Owen," he said sincerely.

Owen looked at him curiously but didn't respond. The Londoner moved over to the expansive window and looked out across the Hub. "Why did you want me to come in?" he asked quietly a moment later, turning back around to look at Jack.

Jack sighed deeply but fixed his eyes on Owen's. "I'm going into the simulation. I need to see it for myself."

Owen tensed and a myriad of emotions played across his features, eventually settling somewhere between disbelief and outrage. "No bloody way," he argued, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous."

"John was fine," Jack reasoned calmly, knowing he was going to have a fight on his hands. He kept his voice even. "I will be too."

Owen's expression became hard as he met Jack's gaze. "You don't know that," he argued. "Maybe John was a fluke."

"Maybe," Jack conceded. He couldn't deny that a single test subject hardly qualified as sound empirical proof that the system was safe, and Owen knew the risks as well as any of them. "Look, I'm not asking for your permission, Owen. I'm doing this. Are you going to help me?"

Owen swore under his breath. "You're as bad as he was, you know that?"

Jack let out a mirthless chuckle. "I think that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Owen stepped closer and stabbed his index finger sharply against Jack's chest. He narrowed his eyes. "If something goes wrong," he growled. "I'm going to fucking kill you. We're not losing you too."

Jack only just managed to stop himself from flinching. He knew that he should tell Owen about his condition, especially now that John was gone, but it just wasn't the right time. He gave Owen a tight smile, then pushed away from the desk and moved towards the door.

"It's going to be fine," he reassured him. "Come on, let's do this."

Jack led the way down to the lab and moved over to the interface chair. He slipped off his jacket and threw it over the nearby desk and then toed off his shoes. Finally, he unfastened the top three buttons of his shirt, knowing that Owen would need to attach a sensor to his chest. He shivered slightly as the coldness of the flooring seeped up through his socks and into the soles of his feet.

Reaching out, Jack grasped Owen's arm and looked at him intently. "Owen, I need you to do something for me. If anything does go wrong, I need you to go and see Ianto. Tell him about this, and about what John was doing. And tell him…"

Jack paused, closing his eyes briefly as he felt a surprisingly sharp stab of regret at the thought of not seeing the Welshman again. "Tell him I said I was sorry."

Owen raised an eyebrow and looked confused. "What's he got to do with this?"

"Nothing at all," Jack replied. "It's just that… me and him…" He sighed and shook his head, not knowing how to finish that sentence, and belatedly realising that he'd already said too much. "It's complicated."

Owen frowned and looked like he was about to say something, but Jack cut him off, not wanting to hear what the other man was thinking. "Please, Owen," he pleaded.

Owen eventually nodded, and Jack gave him what he hoped was a valiant smile. Taking a deep breath, he settled himself down into the wide, inclined chair. While it was fairly utilitarian in appearance, wrapped in some sort of imitation leather material and ominously black in colour, it was surprisingly comfortable.

He tried to relax as Owen carefully wrapped restraining bands around first his wrists and then his ankles. Pushing back the edge of Jack's shirt, Owen affixed a heart rate sensor to his chest. He then proceeded to tighten the cortical interface assembly around Jack's skull so that it held his head firmly in place. Jack could feel the cold, metallic tips of the probes pushing against the base of his neck and his temples. He took several slow, deep breaths and pushed down on his rising fear as Owen fussed over the equipment for a minute or two longer, apparently checking that everything was ready. Jack reminded himself repeatedly that whatever happened, he had nothing to lose. He just wasn't quite sure if that was actually true any longer.

Owen was still standing by the side of the chair. He looked down on him, his face etched with concern. "Jack, are you sure about this?"

Jack couldn't move, but he gave Owen a tight, determined smile as he looked up into his friend's worried eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure," he replied.

"I'm setting the timer for two hours," Owen said as he busied himself at the table beside the chair, setting up an emergency medical kit and a portable defibrillator.

He moved over to his desk and sat down in front of the workstation. "If anything goes wrong, I'm pulling you out of there straight away."

"Okay. Two hours," Jack confirmed.

It wasn't long, but he didn't want to push his luck with Owen. And if it worked, he could always go back in again.

"Take a deep breath and relax," Owen advised. "If John's experience is anything to go by, this is going to hurt like hell. Ready?"

Jack drew in another long, deep breath and slowly let it out as he concentrated on trying to release the tension from his muscles. "Yeah. Do it."

Owen tapped a series of keys to initiate the transfer sequence. A warning tone began to sound, beeping portentously in a loud, shrill tone. Jack closed his eyes, and he gripped the edges of the armrests tightly, his knuckles turning white. A high-pitched electrical buzz filled his ears and there was a tingling sensation at the points where the cortical interface made contact against his skin.

Suddenly, hot, searing pain tore through his skull. His body jerked violently in response, his torso and hips arching upwards before settling down against the chair again. There was agonising pressure as his consciousness seemed to fold in on itself, tearing away from his body. Just when he thought he couldn't take the pain any longer, his eyes flew open and a tortured scream caught in his throat as his breathing became rapid and shallow. His vision blurred as the room twisted violently, growing distant as if he was staring down a very long, narrow tunnel. Bright, blinding white light rushed towards him with impossible speed, engulfing and consuming him. The intense pain finally receded, and he slumped lifelessly into the chair as the world around him went dark.

Owen looked panicked as he frantically checked Jack's vital signs. Several moments later, he let out a relieved sigh and collapsed into his chair as he stared at the screen. A timer had begun to count down in large red digits, and a simple message blinked below it:

Download complete.