Earl narrating: "While Joy and Darnell were running for their lives, me and Randy were heading towards the trailer park thinking it was still in its normal state. Lucky for both of us, we got to our car without any hassle, except for the moment where Randy had stopped to take a golf ball machine that some lotter had dropped".
Scene shown: The story cuts from the ending scene of the last chapter with Joy and Crabman running from the trailer monster to Earl driving his El Camino down a mostly abandoned dirt road. As he makes his way to the park, he is shown glancing into the back where Randy and the golf ball machine are.
"Seriously Randy? Why did you even take that thing with us at a time like this? We don`t even need a golf ball machine", Earl exclaimed in disbelief as he thought of the close call he and his brother had trying to get the machine into the cars backseat. Had he not moved fast enough when a bunch of drones came, odds were that he and Randy would have been frozen and gone.
"Come on Earl, I always wanted a golf ball machine. It`s just so cool how the pipe at the end shoots the balls so fast into the air. I might not get the chance to see something like that again if the world really does end", Randy answered excitedly as he patted the machine, trying to find the on switch.
Thinking for a moment, Earl stated, "You know, I think you`ve told me that you wanted a golf ball machine before. Was that on your bucket list or something?", "Yes it was. I wanted to use a golf ball machine, dance under a disco ball, get blasted by a confetti cannon, eat some cannoli at a fancy Italian place…", Randy excitedly began to list.
Earls concentration from the road drifted away a bit as he listened in on what his brother had to say. That came back in full swing when an odd flash suddenly appeared on the road up ahead. As he nearly stopped his car, Earl watched in disbelief at what looked like an old man on a bike appear out of thin air. The old man waved at Earl as he pedaled past his car (to which Earl awkwardly replied with the same gesture) before another strange flash had him vanish in midair.
For a few moments, Earl didn`t speak as he tried to process exactly who and what he just saw while Randy got to the part of his list that involved owning a pet tarantula and writing an 800-page story about his experiences. Then, another unexpected surprise took their minds off the random events. A short but strong set of tremors made the car wobble a bit every five seconds. "Make the car stop shaking Earl. I wanna continue to mention my bucket list. I didn`t even get to the part that involves the action figures made out of candy", Randy exclaimed as Earl tried to make the car go steadier down the path. "It`s not me Randy. Something outside is causing this…son of a bitch. What the heck is that?", Earl exclaimed suddenly seeing the golden drone/trailer monster appear over the horizon.
As he noted it was coming his way, Randy leaned forward and exclaimed in horror, "It`s like Godzilla but made up of trailers…Trailer-zilla! AHHH!" Earl hit the brakes and made the car do a 180 degree turn. Before he could accelerate, he then heard someone shout his name and peered outside just in time to see Joy and Crabman run up to him.
"Earl! Thank goodness you came!", Crabman exclaimed as he dove into the passenger seat while Joy squeezed her way into the back with Randy and the golf ball machine. As soon Earl saw both of his friends were in, he started to drive off quickly with Trailer-zilla now chasing the car.
"What the heck is going on outside? Where are the boys?", Earl asked as he tried to focus on both the road and the trailer monster behind him. Joy and Crabmans faces immediately became grim before Joy sadly stated, "We were too late. Let our guard down back there at the worst possible time. They`re gone". "No", Randy could only murmur in dread while Earl punched his car horn several times in frustration. "Damn! Damn! Damn! Now what do we do?", he exclaimed.
Glancing back and noting that Trailer-zilla had gotten a lot closer Crabman answered, "How about finding a way to take out the trailer monster? That`s probably the best idea". Looking back again, Joy and Randy saw that Trailer-zilla indeed got closer and let out a huge scream of panic. In that panic, Randy flailed him arms around and accidently hit a switch on the golf ball machine. To Joys surprise, she saw the ball fly out of the machine through the window and into the center of the monster, making it stumble back a split second.
"Dummy, you just gave me a bright idea. Move over!", she exclaimed as she got into positon behind the machine. "Joy, what are you doing?", Earl asked as he glanced at Joy a bit before swerving to avoid some debris. "Simple. I`m going to blast Trailer-zilla with some balls and break that thing into pieces!", Joy aggressively stated as she tried to take aim amid the swerving. "Wait, you`re going to attack that thing with a lot of golf balls?", Crabman asked, trying to wrap his head around how surreal and crazy the plan was. "You got any other ideas? Cause firing white pelts at that thing is literally a better plan than just waiting to be squished into road kill (that is if that bomb blast don`t get us first)", Joy retorted making Earl suddenly look confused and alarmed.
"Wait wait wait. Bomb? What`s she talking about Crabman?", Earl asked as Joys words also made Randy (who wasn`t fully paying attention to the chatter) suddenly look excited.
Earl narrating: "As Darnell gave me the information on the stuff that he knew and that I didn`t, Randy was suddenly recalling an experience he had not too long ago. An experience with an anthro cup in a video game".
Scene shown: Crabman talking to Earl while making a few gestures in the front seat before it focuses more on Randy in the back. As he continues to look out with some excitement, music from the Cuphead game can be heard playing.
Crabman finished explaining everything to Earl as Randy lowered the window next to him. "So we have less than an hour? Crap. Joy, you ready to open fire?", Earl called to the back. Leaning forward, Joy used one of her shoes to smash the rest of the rear window away before cocking the golf ball machine and declaring that she was indeed ready.
"Good! Randy, we need you to…Randy!?", Earl exclaimed before he spotted his brother climb out of the window and onto the cars rooftop. As soon as Randy got to the top of the car and adjusted his balance, he glared at Trailer-zilla and against his fears he managed to make a pose that involved a finger pointed at the monster.
"Randy? What are you doing? Get back in before you get yourself killed!", Earl shouted from inside the car. "Aw, let him have his fun Earl. If he dies at least he`ll go out happy (which is more than I can say for half my relatives)", Joy managed to say before she started to fire at Trailer-zilla while yelling "DIE!", at the top of her lungs.
As Earl did his best to avoid swerving too much for Randy's sake, Randy's imagination had his surroundings change from real life to a 1930`s cartoon. Everything from himself to Trailer-zilla now looked like it fit with the game he was fantasizing about and as he flicked his wrists he imagined that the shots came from his hand rather than Joy and the machine below him. Off-screen, an excited narrating voice exclaimed: "This match is red hot!" followed by a WALLOP! Popup as Randy continued to fire at Joys pace.
Mini-game #4: Cuphead in My Name is Earl Land
Objective: Joy/Randy must fire enough ammo at Trailer-zilla in order to destroy it and survive. As more shots are fired, the greater the danger of taking damage is. Destroy the foe before the car gets hit too many times.
Controls:
-L stick: Move Randy/Joy`s line of fire to target location
R2 button/X button: Fire golf balls
L2: Use power up after one is collected
Advice:
-As Trailer-zilla takes more damage, projectiles from the trailers it`s made up of will start to fall off it and potentially hit the car. Shooting them enough times before they land on the ride is key to beating it without taking a lot of damage. Also note that not all the falling projectiles will fall towards the car, so keep a note of what`s a threat.
-Like the mini-game in Keeping Up Appearances, Earl`s driving may affect the players aim at some points.
-Two forms of power ups are available in the game: El Camino invincibility and Rapid golf ball fire. The invincibility makes Earl`s car immune to anything he might hit on the road temporary and causes him to drive more straight while the rapid fire makes Joys/Randy`s attacks come out faster, potentially offering more damage in a short amount of time.
- Where the shots land on the foe is key to dishing out damage. Hitting the center of the monster when the area isn`t blocked is the best spot.
After the game is beat:
Earl narrating: "To everyone's surprise, Joy`s idea actually worked. I guess it was lucky for the four of us that the trailers made up of Trailer-Zilla wern`t in their prime condition and essentially needed a few hits from golf balls to fall apart".
Scene shown: Trailer-zilla started to fall down thanks to all the damage that Joy gave it. As it hit the ground in a heap and defeated for good, everyone let out a victory cheer while Randy`s vision came back to the real world. Excitedly, he blew his hand as if it were the barrel of the smoking gun and did a funny victory pose.
Earl began to slow down the car for Randy when out of nowhere, the heap of trailers exploded (thanks to the remaining core of the Golden Drone finally breaking apart from the fall). "Holy shit!", Joy exclaimed ducking behind the car seat while Randy fell on his back and desperately grabbed the roof. Earl sped up again and swerved again to avoid a few pieces of flying trailer parts that nearly squashed the car. As one of those pieces crashed close to the passenger door, Crabman glanced out in dismay and exclaimed, "There goes our home".
When he noticed no more debris was flying at the car, Randy knocked loudly on the car roof with a free hand and yelled, "Earl! Stop the car! Stop!", as he felt himself steadily begin to slide off. Hearing him, Earl slammed the breaks with all his might which sent his brother flying ahead. Randy hit the road tumbling a few yards before he stopped as his brother, Crabman and Joy then exited the car.
"Randy!?", Earl exclaimed in fear running to him. As he reached his brother, Randy let out a groan and slowly sat up. Squatting down, Earl worriedly asked, "Are you okay? Nothings broken, is it?", "No. I don`t think so. Though my butt kinda feels sore", Randy answered as he awkwardly stood up.
As he stretched a bit, Randy then looked around and asked, "Do you know where we are anyway? I forgot to see where we were going while I was shooting at the boss", prompting Joy to give him a confused look. Earl was the first to notice that the group made it back to the heart of Camden with his current residence, the Camden Motel, just down the road.
Clearing his throat, Crabman addressed the other three in front of him. "Listen, I know what we went through was intense but at the very least we need to leave Camden. I`m sure we all know the reason too well at this point". Joy and Earl suddenly felt the danger of the area again and quickly sprinted for the car with Crabman and a confused Randy following in the back.
As she opened the backdoor and got in, Joy looked at the golf ball machine in dismay upon realizing it was empty. "Crap. Looks like we`ve got nothin` to fight with if Trailer-zilla shows up again for a crappy sequel. Guess we`re going to have to rely on our bare instincts to survive at this point", she said aloud before shoving the machine out onto the road, breaking it much to Randy`s horror.
Earl started the El Camino and begun to head down the road. "If we`re lucky, we might reach the closest exit in ten minutes. Doesn't seem like a lot of those invading drones are left", he replied noting how he only saw two drones far off as well as no other Camdenmites in the area. However, the escape plan immediately came apart when the El Camino suddenly made a funny noise and stopped right in front of the motel.
"No! Not now! Out of all the times to finally break down, not now!", Earl exclaimed in shock as he turned the keys in the ignition and basically got nothing. After watching him fail to start the car again for a moment, Joy let out a frustrated sigh and stated, "Well that`s just great. Guess we`ll have to walk away from the danger with a low risk of survival and with aching feet" while Randy glanced at the motel and looked like he had an idea.
"Maybe we don`t have to. Our rooms not that far away from here. Maybe we can just hide there and watch cartoons and wait for the whole crisis to pass", he excitedly stated as he and his allies exited the car. Giving Randy an irritated look, Joy exclaimed, "Unless your room has an infection free hot tub, fancy flat screen TV, another room with my boys safe and sound and a lot of thick walls that can take a powerful bomb blast, then yes, it is a bright idea. On the other hand, being blown away in the fallout while watching Tom & Jerry would be an excellent way to go".
What Joy said suddenly made Randy look alarmed. "Wait a minute? There`s a bomb here in Camden? Why didn`t any of you tell me?", he exclaimed sounding more panicked by the second. "I was trying to tell you both in the car earlier but you went on the roof", Crabman explained, which made Randy look around in a twitching frenzy.
Earl realized his brother was about to have a huge panic attack and walked over to calm him down. While he struggled with finding something calming to say, he noticed for the first time that several drones were in the parking lot of the motel and apparently firing at a single door on the lower floor. As he tried more desperately to calm Randy down, Earl`s efforts failed as his brother let out a scream of fear, getting plenty of the drone's attention.
"Son of a bitch. You all take cover!", Joy exclaimed grabbing Earl and Crabman and shoving them behind the El Camino with her while Randy began to run down the block screaming. Lucky for the trio, the five drones who came their direction spotted Randy first and went after him while firing all the way down the street, with Randy prancing and stumbling to avoid the blasts. Earl, Crabman and Joy didn`t move until they felt the chasing drones were a safe distance away. At that moment, the prime fear left their minds and Crabmans instinct to do something about the event kicked in. Without a word, he got up and began to go after Randy. "Darnell? What the hell are you doing?", Joy exclaimed as she and Earl partially stood up, keeping half an eye on the remaining drones in the parking lot still attacking the single room.
"I`m going to help Randy. We already lost the boys and many of our friends. I`ll be damned if I see anyone else I care about get turned into a popsicle!", Crabman called back before Randy, the perusing drones and himself turned a corner and vanished. At that moment, Earl attempted to follow but Joy held him back aggressively. "No you don`t. I`m not about to be left here alone with all these drones around while you get yourself blasted. Besides, Darnell knows more than a few tricks to situations like these. He`ll be back with that dumbass before you know it", she harshly whispered, making Earl give up his desire to join the chase. He felt it wouldn't be worth the risk aggravating Joy at a time like this. Plus, she did have a point about Crabman and his ability to get in and out of risky situations quickly.
"Okay then, what do we do now? There`s probably still plenty of drones all around us we can`t see", Earl replied pointing to the remaining three drones for emphasis. Looking around for any other safe options and ultimately finding none, Joy let out a sigh and stated, "It looks like you and me are going to sneak over and take cover in your motel room after all, considering your brother basically made it easier to sneak by undetected. It`ll at least be a better place than out here to stay put until Darnell and Randy get back", prompting Earl to look nervously at the three drones blasting at the room.