Chapter 11

Christian

By the time I reached the lobby I lost her, I stepped out onto the sidewalk, looking up and down in both directions but there was no sign of her. Shit! Talk about lousy timing. I just know she's thinking the worst about what she thinks she saw. I raced straight back to my office to call her since I left my phone on my desk, Andrea was back behind hers when I reached my floor, apparently she had to use the bathroom. Next time hold it. Lilly was leaving and apologetic, not meaning to cause any trouble. I assured her she had nothing to apologise for, it was a case of bad-timing and misunderstanding.

Saturday I must have called her about a fucking dozen times, each time it went to her voicemail I got madder. I didn't bother leaving her a message. She needs to talk to me, I'm not going to let her take the cowards way out by avoiding me.

By Sunday afternoon I'm pissed off, I've given her enough time to herself to over analyse what she thinks but she's not keeping me at arm's length today. I pull up in front of her apartment, practically stomping to her door from frustration and anger. I knock and call out her name but get no response. I bang on the door again waiting, but still hear nothing. I'm about to turn around and leave when I hear her voice yell from inside. Is she in trouble?

"Ana!"

I try the door handle and find it unlocked, I open and push the door open, stepping inside and calling out for her again. I find her in the kitchen, her back is to me, she has earphones in and is dancing around in her pyjamas, I would laugh if I wasn't so mad at her. I yell once more to get her attention and still nothing. I do the only thing I can and walk up behind her, tapping her on the shoulder.

She screams and swiftly turns around, with a large sharp knife in her right hand which slices across the bare skin of my forearm cutting me.

"Oh my god, what the fuck are you doing, you scared the crap out of me." She shoves me against my chest with her empty hand as she yells and removes her ear buds.

"I'm sorry, I was calling your name but you obviously didn't hear me. I was outside your door when I heard you scream, I thought something was wrong but obviously it was your singing."

"You're an asshole."

She looks at my arm which is bleeding.

"I'll get you a band-aid, don't bleed on my floor."

She places the knife down on the bench beside the watermelon she was cutting up and heads towards the bathroom. I stay standing where I am until she returns less than a minute later, she cleans my arm with a disinfectant wipe before placing the band-aid on.

She takes two steps back, discarding the wipe and wrapper looking anywhere but at me.

"Why are you here?" She finally asks.

"Because we need to talk." I thought it was obvious.

"No we don't." She finally looks at me with a frown.

"Yes, we do. I didn't do anything wrong, you walked into my office, saw something, jumped to conclusions and then ran off ignoring my phone calls for a whole day. What the hell is that shit, Ana? The least you can do is listen and allow me to explain."

"You don't owe me anything, you're free to do whatever you want." She snaps back at me defensively.

"Really, that's what you're going with. Why are you lying to yourself, I saw the pain in your eyes when you thought I was in there behind your back with another female."

"Ha, if that's what you want to think, that I was upset, then go ahead."

She is so fucking stubborn.

I pick her up and place her ass on the bench so we're eye level and step towards her.

"Get away from me." She swats at my hands.

"You're angry at the world, I get that, you want to blame me for something totally innocent so you don't have to feel anything, to not take a chance in life, then that's your problem. I won't be your punching bag. I thought we were making progress in Fiji, that this was the start of something but I'm not going to sit back and take your bullshit whenever you decide to act like a child."

"How dare you?" Her nostrils flare in anger. Good, at least it's a reaction.

"You're too proud to ask what you walked into, you're afraid and you can't admit it, that you might have been wrong. Lilly came to me for help, it was a thank you hug that you saw, nothing more, nothing less, grow up, Ana and stop pushing me and others away, because you might find one day that we won't be coming back next time."

She crosses her arms over her stomach, trying to protect herself.

"You think I'm afraid?" Her lips trembles slightly.

"I know you're scared, shit half the world out there is afraid of something but you are standing in the way of your own happiness. That's exactly why you're terrified, I could make you happy and you know being happy is the most terrifying thing in the universe because once you're happy it can be taken away from you." My breath is coming out in angry puffs.

"You don't know what you're talking about. There is nothing for me to fear."

"You're lying to yourself. You have your walls up so high no one can get over them. If you want to keep doing this one step forward, two steps back dance then I think I'm done trying to prove I'm not the enemy here."

"Are you done?" She shakes her head at me before breaking eye contact.

I stand staring at her, waiting for her to say something, to give me some sort of indication to what she is thinking but she just sits there in silence with her eyes glued to her kitchen floor.

"Yeah I'm done."

I turn away from her, ready to leave her apartment. I never anticipated this going the way it did. Am I giving up so easily? I don't know, but I know I need to get out of here before I say something else I will regret. When I get to the door and reach for the handle I hear her quietly say "Wait."

I hesitate. Do I stay or continue on my way out?

I sense her walking up to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Christian."

I release the door and turn around to face her. She looks so dejected she starts crying and mumbling "I'm sorry," over and over again falling into my chest.

Oh Ana.

I reach down to the back of her thighs, picking her up I walk us over to her couch sitting on it while she straddles me. I lift her head out from my neck and lean my forehead against her own.

"Hey, it's okay." I wipe her tears away while she sniffles trying to control her crying. Her hand plays with the collar of my shirt while we sit there together. I wait for her to say something whilst my hands run up and down her back soothing her.

"You were right about everything. I am scared and it's not fair that you suffer because of my past and insecurities. I should explain more clearly, you see I was seeing someone in college when my brother passed away, we had only been together for a few months, he cheated on me, saying it was because I wasn't around and not available to him, I caught them in his dorm when I went to visit him one weekend. Seeing you in your office like that just brought those awful memories up and I'm sorry, it was a sense of déjà vu that I let get into my head. You're nothing like him."

"He sounds like a dick." I move her head back to see into her bright tearful eyes.

She smiles at me.

"He is a dick. I'm so sorry, I know I have issues, I know I'm not easy to deal with at times, but in a short amount of time you've become important to me and I really am trying. Please don't give up on me."

She's hasn't stopped fiddling with the collar of my shirt while talking. I reach up and grab her hand with mine, kissing her knuckles and holding onto it.

"Look at me, I'm not giving up that easily, I want to date you, I like you and want to get to know you better, to know everything about you. We can take this at your pace, there's no rush, I have no problem with that but you have to talk to me, tell me what you need, when you feel uncertain or overwhelmed, you can't give up either. For this to work we need to communicate with each other."

"I can do that." She nods with a small smile.

"And no more running."

"No more running I promise."

Cupping her cheeks I kiss her, she takes hold of my neck deepening the kiss. She lets out a little moan which has my body reacting and hardening beneath her as she squirms over me. She breaks the kiss to peer into my eyes.

"Will you stay the night?" She nervously asks biting her lip.

"Yes." I answer taking that full lip in my own mouth.

XXXXX

I awake in Ana's bedroom very early the next morning, I reach for my phone only to find it dead. I have no idea what time it is however the sun is still rising. I spy her laptop on her desk in the corner of her room. I'm waiting for some merchandising contracts to come through so I hope she doesn't mind me using it.

I grab it and sit up in her bed as she sleeps beside me. She looks warm and soft and serene, coming over here yesterday turned out to be a good thing in the end. We both still have a lot to learn about each other, baby steps are better than no steps at all. I know her asking me to stay last night was a huge deal to her so I'm thankful for the small progress we made, that and her promise to no longer run which I plan to have her stick to. I laugh at myself, this tiny stubborn woman has me all tied up in knots and I'm enjoying it. I let her sleep and turn back to the screen.

I'm engrossed in the document I'm reading when I fell her stir, she turns over and opens her eyes, slightly smiling up at me.

"Hey." She utters grumpily and burrows back under the covers. So not really a morning person then.

"Morning."

A couple minutes later she pulls herself up to sit beside me.

"What are you doing, don't read that." She attempts to close the lid to hide her work.

I pull it out of her reach.

"Christian." She's getting agitated.

"My phone died and I needed to check my email. When I turned your laptop on this was on the screen. This is good, Ana. Are you going to publish it? You really should think about it."

"I don't know, maybe, that's the plan but who knows if I'll ever take that leap." She huffs and leans back.

"I know. Go for it."

"While I was studying my dream was to go into publishing, to help find authors and make their dreams come true, one day I had the idea for this story and finally got around to writing it, but I don't know if it's actually good enough. It's a silly children's story."

"So was Harry Potter and there is nothing silly about it. I've loved what I've read so far and it is good enough, don't doubt your talent so much, you don't want to be sitting there in ten years time wondering what if."

She cuddles up to me and I place the laptop on the floor.

"Thank you for saying that."

I pull the band aid off along with half the hair on my arm.

"Ouch, I can't believe you almost stabbed me."

She kisses my cut which has pretty much healed.

"I'm sorry for cutting you, but you shouldn't sneak up on me like that, it would have served you right and don't ever mock my singing again."

"Is that right Ms Tone Deaf, it sounded like you were being hurt."

She smacks me on the chest.

"Take that back."

"Never."

I grab her by the waist, throwing her down on the bed and attack her with kisses and tickles, she's yelling and laughing and begging me to stop. Her face is glowing with joy. Coming over here was definitely a good decision.

XXXXX

Mia and I are standing in arrivals at the airport on Wednesday afternoon waiting for Elliot to come out. We have been waiting for this day for so long. Our brother is coming home. This time for good. Mia is practically bouncing with excitement.

"Will he hurry up already." She complains. We've only been here for ten minutes however I understand her impatience.

"There he is." I point him out when I spot him.

My brother appears in the crowd in his white dress uniform and duffel bag. Mia rushes up to him, attacking him with her hug.

"Hey, Mia. Did you miss me or something?" She's crying into his shoulder.

"Shut up jerk, you know I did."

I walk up to them and join in on their group hug holding back my own tears.

"It's good to have you home bro. Let's get out of here, mom and dad are waiting at the house."

"Dude I seriously need a cheeseburger, I'm starving."

"I think I can help you out."

After stopping to grab his burger we get to Bellevue where there are lots more tears and hugs from my parents, mom prepared a full on roast for dinner in celebration and the five of us sat around the dining table talking, joking and laughing. It was like the family dinners we used to have a lifetime ago. Mom kept staring and El as if he was going to disappear from right in front of her.

"Oh honey, I am so pleased to have you back. Do you have any laundry?"

We all start laughing. She hasn't asked Mia or I that question in years.

Later on El and I are at the bar having a beer in a quiet corner booth. I can't believe I'm actually out having a beer with my brother, something I haven't done in so long. We can also talk about things we wouldn't if the rest of the family was around.

"So what's the plan now you're home?" I ask taking a sip of my beer.

"Just relax for a couple of weeks, sleep in, I'll need to find an apartment eventually but I know mom is going to want to spoil me for the foreseeable future. Then think about getting a job, I mean they've offered me an office job in one of the departments but I haven't decided if I want to take it yet or do something completely different."

"You know you can always come work for me. I would love to have you on board."

"Thanks for the offer but I'm not sure I would be much help over there. Anyway don't forget, you promised me Vegas. I need to get laid."

"Absolutely. How does in a couple of weeks sound?"

"Perfect. So tell me, are you seeing anyone?" He raises his eyebrows up and down at me.

"There is someone, one of Mia's friends."

"Again, because Lilly turned out so great."

"No, she's different El, she's stubborn, feisty, has a temper on her and tells me off but also beautiful and I don't know, I've never met anyone like her before."

"Well look at you, spewing romantic shit and all that."

"Fuck off." I flip him the finger and continue drinking. Good thing I have Taylor nearby because there's no way I'm leaving here sober.

XXXXX

Sunday afternoon my parents held a large party for Elliot's homecoming. Relatives and friends we hadn't seen in a long time showed up to greet him. The house was decorated with so many flowers I was afraid my mother bought out every florist in the neighbourhood, a large welcome home banner hung in the foyer and the kitchen was filled with caterers preparing food. Most of the guests were standing out in the back yard but not me. Mia was picking up Ana on her way over and they are due to arrive any minute. My mom finds me in the foyer watching out the window.

"Waiting for someone dear?"

"No, yes…not really."

She laughs.

"Oh honey, I'm just teasing. Don't worry, Mia will be here soon enough and so will Ana."

She walks away chuckling. Great, my mother is now teasing me over a girl. When did this become my life?

They must have arrived as my mother was speaking to me because I hear their voices as the front door opens.

'Hi, baby." I kiss Ana.

"Hi, yourself."

She looks gorgeous in her white sundress with her hair in a French braid.

"I'm here too." Mia announces.

"Hi, Mia. Bye, Mia."

I pull Ana by the hand leaving my sister behind to follow as I lead us outside. I find my brother standing around talking with one of our neighbours holding a bottle of beer. I stop next to him.

"Sorry to interrupt, El, this is Ana. Ana our older brother Elliot."

"Hi, Ana, nice to meet you." He extends his hand out which she shakes.

"I'm so pleased to finally meet you. I've heard a lot of stories."

"They're not true. You look familiar." He drops her hand giving her a strange look.

"Oh, you've probably seen my photos on Mia's Instagram. We were roommates in college."

"Yeah, that must be it." He responds, appearing deep in thought.

As the party dies down later in the afternoon, there are only a handful of people left hanging around. It was a good day, El caught up with a lot of his friends, everybody seemed to enjoy themselves and Ana met half my family who all had a million questions, poor thing needed rescuing a few times by my mother.

I walk into the kitchen to grab some water where I find my mother standing in front of the sink, staring out the window into the yard. I step beside her, place my arm around her shoulder and see that she was looking at Elliot, who's talking to both Mia and Ana, all three laughing about something.

"I've been waiting for this day for a long time." She voices softly, afraid he'll leave once more.

"I know, mom. He's home." I kiss her on the head.

"He looks good, happy. I hope he found whatever he was looking for out there."

Before joining the navy Elliot was lost and hurting and went on a bender that lasted for months. My parents were worried and unable to help him, no amount of talking did any good, until one day he made his decision, advised us he was leaving and was shipped off.

"You seem pretty happy too. I wonder why that is?" She teases.

"Mom…"

"Don't mom me, she really is lovely and we all know and adore her. You both deserve to be happy, that's all I'm saying." With a pat to my cheek she leaves to join the others outside.

Mia had a bit too much to drink so I'm driving Ana home. She yawns as she leans back in her seat, closing her eyes.

"Tired?"

"A little."

"Did you have fun today? I'm sorry if my extended family came across as crazy." I lost count of how many of the older women there asked her who's girlfriend she was and when she's getting married.

"I had a great time and they were fine, isn't that what family get togethers are supposed to be like. Your brother is great, he sure can make everyone laugh easily, Mia never told me he was the better looking one."

We've reached her apartment and I pull over. Her eyes bright with glee from her joke.

"Watch it." I growl before leaning over and taking her lips with mine in a rough kiss.

"I'm joking, but he seems great, I'm happy you're happy to have him home. Go, make some memories with him. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Not long before leaving from my parent's house El pretty much invited himself over to play pool. I couldn't say no, seeing as he played the guilt card of not having played in years, but I really don't mind. Taylor is driving him over and he'll probably crash at my place.

"Goodnight."

One more kiss and I watch as she climbs out of my car and into her building. Yeah, I was right, she is pretty special and I need to take her on a proper first date.

A/N: Next chapter we have a date and Grace tells Christian some news he never would have expected to hear in a million years.