Title: How would you feel.
Number of parts: 11/?.
Pairings: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor.
Synopsis: "So, right now, he was sitting still on a stool of the small bar separating his kitchen and his living room and looking at the emptiness of his life. He distractedly scratched his hairy face and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. He didn't realise what he was doing until he found himself with a glass of whiskey on the rocks in the hand. It surprised him and he immediately caught the landline phone with trembling hands and called his mother."
A/N: The characters and the universe don't belong to me. All rights goes to Russell T. Davies, Phil Collinson, Susie Liggat, Steven Moffat and to the BBC. Everything else belongs to my imagination.
A/N2: Once again, this story has been rewritten from a roleplay I'm doing with (impossible).(wolf) on Instagram. The roleplay is still on so the chapters won't be up a fast as they are for My Time Of Dying.
CHAPTER 11: WRECK
It took Liv a few days to finally find Maxence. She had gone to all the addresses on his ID papers, and that was the one on his professional card – the most recent one in all his cards – that was the good one. For days, she had shared her time between giving some calls to find him and visit the places he used to live before – he really needed to update his information on his ID papers – and taking care of Rose, making sure she had everything she needed when it came to food and comfort. She had also brought her a small strong-box in which were locked some coloured pencils, pencils, paint, felt tips and papers. She had hidden it in the bathroom, in a small cupboard, and she was the only one – with Rose – to know the combination of numbers that could open it. She had used a couple of towels to keep it hidden and until now no one had found out about it. Perfect.
Today, Liv decided to go and meet with Maxence Spitz before going back to work. So, she stopped his motorcycle in front of the building he was living in and rang to the intercom. She didn't know what she was gonna find.
While Liv was taking care of Rose and looking for him, Maxence was sinking into a vicious circle. He had remained incredibly silent for days, barely talking to Donna when she was coming back home after work, barely moved from his bed all that time. He didn't shower, barely ate and just moped around, depressing on the fact that his life was going all wrong again, and that confusion and depression led him to pain, more mental than physical. A pain he desperately wanted to numb with some strong alcohol.
So, right now, he was sitting still on a stool of the small bar separating his kitchen and his living room and looking at the emptiness of his life. He distractedly scratched his hairy face and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. He didn't realise what he was doing until he found himself with a glass of whiskey on the rocks in the hand. It surprised him and he immediately caught the landline phone with trembling hands and called his mother.
"Mummy, I-I'm gonna do a mistake. I can't be strong anymore. I can't resist the temptation anymore."
His voice broke and he threw the phone away from him. He didn't hear it fall on the ground. He caught the glass and played with it. His eyes never left the amber fluid, and the smell of it was taunting him. But he never took a sip of it. He resisted. And he realised that his mother had arrived only when she took the glass away from his hand and emptied it in the sink.
"We've got to talk, Maxence."
Maxence didn't look up at his mother when she threw his drink. He kept staring at the bar before him, even when she started talking to him and asking him to pull himself back together. He was still off, still facing the incredible pain he was suffering from inside down. His hands were trembling. He was facing a withdrawal he hadn't had for years. It had been five years since he last had drunk a drop of alcohol. He had a token to prove it. He usually always had it in his bag. He was taking it everywhere, but his bag had disappeared along with his ID papers, phone and motorcycle. His mother was giving him a whole speech about his miserable condition, a speech he wasn't even listening. He wanted a drink, he wanted it really bad.
"Maxence," suddenly said Joanne, putting her hands on his shoulders, breaking his trance. "Tell me what is wrong, honey."
"My head hurts," he muttered, and she gently rubbed his temples to help him. "And I forgot four days of my life. As if two full years weren't enough, I forgot four full days, and just woke up with a headache and enough benzodiazepine in my blood to drug a horse for hours. Everyone's thinking I'm carving those words into my skin, when I'm not."
"Who does if it's not you?"
"They just appear."
"Sweetheart, it's not possible."
"I freaking want a drink to forget all this mess. I'm tired of everything, mummy. I'm so tired of being that way."
Joanne wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight to comfort him. Donna entered the room suddenly and yelled at him for being a stupid selfish boy for not thinking about them and wanting to sink back into the alcohol. She yelled for a few minutes when the intercom rang. They all looked at each other. They weren't expecting anyone.
If Liv's life was quite animated and Maxence's depressing one, Rose's life didn't change much in the few days that followed the visit of her mother. She stayed in her room like she had been for the last few years. She was staring at the wall, pacing the room, and drawing. She was drawing a lot in those few days. It was helping her to deal with the withdrawal and the Wolf. It was giving her some problems but she was trying to handle it the best she could. She slept whenever she could. But she was mostly drawing to distract herself and always asking Liv on updates on her searches for Maxence. But she always got the same answer. And so, she started asking less within those few days.
Rose was always worried that maybe they wouldn't find him. Or maybe they would and he just wouldn't come back at all. She was just scared that what the nurses had said to her were true. However, she managed to keep strong. She didn't know how she did it, but she did. She was staying strong and doing the best she could. She was fighting against the nightmares and dealing with the very intense migraines that the Wolf was bringing lately.
Rose remembered how happy she had been when Liv brought her the small strong box with all the art supplies in it and how tight she had hugged her. She had spent that whole day and night drawing, fighting against the exhaustion the withdrawal pill gave her. But her withdrawal was getting more bearable with the time passing by. She didn't tremble as bad, and she could eat food a bit easier without having the worries of throwing up.
Thanks to Liv, Rose now had a growing stack of very colourful and detailed drawings of different things. She was also writing a lot and had a growing stack of writing as well. She needed it all to let go of all the bad feelings she had inside her. The Wolf was sensing the tension, the stress and the worry Rose was experiencing and it really tried to help her, to make things easier on her. But it couldn't help with the migraines. Nevertheless, the pain was more bearable now that she had activities to keep her distracted.
Right now though, Rose was asleep. She was slowly starting to wake up. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she stretched, then curled back up under the covers. The Wolf paced around her mind slowly. Rose ran a hand through her hair and rubbed her temples, a frown on her face.
"I know. Another migraine. I'm sorry. I'm just getting restless and a little angry. I don't know why. I wish I knew."
The Wolf was trying to comfort Rose and was apologising for the pain it caused her because of its constant activity in her mind. Rose didn't reply and just took a couple deep breaths slowly, trying to ignore the pain. She rubbed her temples and sighed deeply. She slowly opened her eyes and winced at the light. She snapped her eyes shut again. The migraine was horrible and it was hard to look at the light. It was hard to open her eyes. It was just better to stay under the blanket and try to relax. Her head was pounding. She gritted her teeth as the Wolf continued to pace around her mind behind the golden barrier.
The Wolf was taking deep breaths with Rose to try and calm them both down so Rose could go draw to help distract herself from the pain. Moving was the last thing on her mind at the moment but she sat up carefully and very slowly, keeping the blanket over her head. She gritted her teeth tighter as the pounding intensified, and the Wolf paced a bit more.
"It's okay, Rose. Just try to relax. Take deep breaths. It'll help. Try and think about something else," the Wolf told her gently, gritting its own teeth.
"Easy for you to say." Rose mumbled in reply.
Rose took a very deep breath and let it out slowly as she started thinking of ideas of things to draw for the day, thinking of different things to write today. All her supplies were put away and hidden in the strong box in the bathroom. She needed to go in there to get anything.
She kept the blanket around her and slid to the ground carefully from the bed. She crawled slowly to the bathroom. She knew why she had such an intense migraine so suddenly. But she didn't know what was causing The Wolf to feel what it was feeling so suddenly. Her stomach was even hurting a bit. She didn't know exactly what was wrong. But she didn't like it. The stomach ache was from the migraine. That was a no brainer. She swallowed hard and continued to try and think about other things about. The Wolf kept an eye on her thoughts and lay down, slowly relaxing. Rose let out a long sigh.
"That's it. Just focus on those," Rose mumbled.
Rose finally curled up in the bathroom doorway under the covers to recover a bit from the intense pain. She couldn't do much more at the moment but stay there and wait until she felt better.
That was Joanne who finally answered the intercom while Donna was still reprimanding a very off Maxence. She talked a few minutes with the woman – a colleague from what she said and the one who had found his stuff – and let her in the building and in the flat. She led her straight to Maxence.
"Someone wants to talk to you."
Maxence raised his head, curious to see who was the person coming to his home to talk to him, and looked at Liv but didn't recognise her. He didn't have many friends and that young woman wasn't one of them for all he could remember.
"You're quite hard to find, doctor Spitz," admitted Liv.
"Who are you?"
"Olivia Baxter. But everyone calls me Liv."
"Good. You can leave me now. I'm being grounded."
"No, sir. I can't leave. I'm here to remind you of your promises."
"I don't do promises."
"You did some to your patient. She needs you. She's waiting for you."
"I don't have any patient. I just came out from school. They won't call me so soon. And I don't have a phone anymore."
"Good thing I have your stuff then."
Liv placed his bag and phone and keys in front of him. If Maxence got surprised, he didn't say anything. She could have stolen it all to reach him for some reason. She didn't seem really dangerous but the danger could come from the most innocent looking persons.
"Your motorcycle is parked in front of the building."
"Oh, great! You've found his stuff! Where were they?"
"In the psychiatric institute, down in town."
"I've never gone there."
"You did. Twice. The second time didn't go so well."
Maxence started rubbing his chest distractedly. He wanted her to go and stop saying bullshits. Or was she saying the truth? Since he couldn't remember anything from the last few days, he couldn't tell. But maybe she was saying the truth. Or maybe she was lying. How would he know?
"Rose Tyler. That's her name. She placed her trust in you and needs you to get her out of that terrible place."
He wasn't listening anymore. He was too focused on the nascent pain in his chest. Pins and needles. Burn. A pain he knew too well. A familiar pain. A new word was forming itself. On his chest. Over his heart. Great.
When Rose opened her eyes, she knew the intense golden glow was still there, but it would die down in time. She stretched her body out from its curled up position carefully and took a few more deep breaths in unison with the Wolf. She very slowly stood up and walked to the cupboard of the bathroom, opened it and uncovered the strong box. She unlocked it and picked out what she wanted to use for that drawing. She kept the blanket around her and locked the strong box before she covered it up and shut the cupboard door. She walked back to her desk. She sat down in the chair and started drawing. A drawing of the TARDIS interior. She missed the TARDIS. She missed talking to her and stroking the console when the Doctor wasn't looking.
The TARDIS had been sad to see Rose go. Rose knew it. She had been sad to be forced to leave the TARDIS. Lots of good memories there. She wondered if the TARDIS ever kept her room. She wondered if everything was still neatly in place. Some days, she wished she would have let the TARDIS gather dust so she could have gone and seen it. Since she still did have a key. The Doctor never took it away from her when he had kicked her out. Had he forgotten she had it? Or had he decided to let her keep that piece of the incredible life she had had with his former self? Anyway, she had kept it in a box in her room. Even if she knew she would never go back into the TARDIS. No one needed to tell her that twice. It was sad to accept it. But she had to.
Rose did light and gentle strokes on her drawing, not wanting to mess up a single detail. She felt the Wolf relax more in the back of her mind from watching her draw. She let out a long sigh as a brief memory of the Doctor appeared in her mind. He was grinning at her happily. That grin she had loved so much. That grin she missed so much. It made her smile sadly. She would never get to see his daft old face again like he had said.
Three women. Three women and they were all trying to get something from him. He had just called his mother for comfort. However, Donna had heard about it and had come over to prevent him from doing a huge mistake. The last one was a nurse from a psychiatric institute he had never heard of, and she was repeating him that he was the doctor in charge of a patient called Rose Tyler. All those women speaking at the same time and arguing were giving him a terrible headache. He had had one for days and they were making it worse.
"Why don't you just leave me alone?" he complained still rubbing his chest which was hurting more and more. His other hand was clenched on his head. "I know no Rose Tyler. I am no doctor. I never went to that stupid institute and I don't know you at all. Now if you could just leave, it'd be perfect."
Liv sighed. He was so miserable right now and so awful. She really wanted to slap him and shake him to bring some senses back to him. If he kept acting that way, she was gonna hit that thick skull.
"Nash did this to you. She drugged you and took you down to the yellow room. She's electrocuted you until you forgot ever coming to the hospital and meeting Rose."
"She what?!" yelled Donna.
"Excuse me?!" added Joanne.
"Shut up," only replied Maxence, rubbing his temple and chest.
"No. You have to listen to me and to believe me. There's a girl there waiting for you to help her. Over the years, they managed to break her, to take everything from her until there was nothing left of her. She had no one until you came to that hospital and showed her that there were people she could trust, people who could help her. So now you're gonna move your ass back there and keep your word."
Liv opened his bag and threw his notes at him for him to see she was saying the truth but he just let them fall to the ground. Donna chuckled lightly. She liked the girl. She would have kicked Maxence's ass if he had been alone.
"Get out of my flat," he growled. "Now."
Liv closed her eyes and breathed deeply to prevent herself from hitting him. She had thought about it all. Her and Rose had known that it was a possibility, that he might reject it all and push her away. So they decided to add a card to their game. An ace up the sleeve as a last resort. She put a hand in her own bag and pulled out a paper. She placed it in front of him.
"Sign this."
"Wh-"
"No question, you sign this."
"I-"
"You sign this I tell you!"
Liv put a pen in his hand. Since he didn't want to move his ass from there to go and see Rose, Liv would bring Rose to him. He was gonna get his memories back and keep his promises whether he liked it or not. He finally signed the paper with a trembling hand after Liv threatened to kick his ass for being a freaking miserable and awful guy. Soon as it was signed, she took the paper and pen and rushed outside the flat to go and tell Rose that she had to take her to Maxence for him to remember.
"Why did you sign?" asked Donna.
"I have no idea."
"It was an authorisation. You allowed your patient to go out," replied Joanne who had read the title of the paper. "If she can't make you go there to remember your patient, she's gonna bring your patient here."
"I have no patient. I'm no doctor. Now, leave me alone."
Maxence slid down the stool and started walking back to his room before anyone could stop him. His headache was terrible and the pain of the new word starting to carve itself was so horrible that it took his breath away. His legs gave way and he cried out, pressing his hands over his heart while a golden spark appeared in his eyes. His mother and his girlfriend immediately reacted thinking he was having a heart attack or something. He was slumped on the floor, his hands clutched on his heart as if it would make the pain stop, as if it would stop the word from forming itself. Donna forced him to turn on his back and Joanne caught his hands, pushing them away. That's when she saw the blood. She took off the shirt and watched his bloody chest worriedly. That's when she noticed the word forming itself.
"Oh, shit. You were right all along," she murmured.
No one had ever believed him when he had told them the words were appearing on their own. But now, they had no other choice but to believe it because it was happening before their eyes.
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know," admitted Joanne.
Maxence was whimpering at the unbearable pain. Donna immediately helped Joanne to carry him to their bed and went to get the first aid kid. They were gonna take care of him. Thankfully he had called for help before it all happened. Who knew what would have happened if no one had been there?
Rose was still drawing the TARDIS interior. She was softly humming to herself. The Wolf was observing her drawing through her eyes and listening to her hum. It sighed quietly. The drawing tended to relax them both and it was nice. It was nice to be able to deal with the pain peacefully for once rather than suffer with it. Rose smiled as she felt the Wolf relaxing and continued her drawing, now humming her favourite song. She missed listening to music. She had always loved music and it helped her relax and stay distracted. She wondered what kind of music was out today.
Rose wondered what had changed while she was in that hospital. It was sad that she had to wonder rather than actually know. When she talked to her mother a couple days ago, she had only asked about how everyone was and how things were going for them. She never asked what had changed or anything. Maybe she would ask next time her mother came. Hopefully Mickey or Clara would come and see her too. But she would understand if they couldn't. Last time Rose had seen them, Clara was working as a teacher at the local school and Mickey was a mechanic.
Rose also wondered how things were going with Maxence and how he was taking it. She assumed that he wasn't taking things well and that he wasn't believing Liv. That is, if she had found him yet. Rose didn't know. She hadn't seen Liv yet, and her nurse hadn't said a thing about it yesterday. Just that she was going to another address of his. Rose hated that incertitude. So, she pushed the thoughts aside and continued what she was doing, remaining in her own world.
Rose remembered talking with Liv about a plan B in case Maxence wouldn't come to her. Liv was a smart young woman to say the least and Rose was glad that Liv would force Maxence him to sign that authorisation if she needed to. Rose didn't know how to act outside of that place. She would be very scared to say the least if they had to use that plan B. She would be nervous and would stay close to Liv like a child would, because she wouldn't know how else to be. It would be really frightening. Something she wouldn't be used to anymore. The Wolf raised its eyebrow as it heard her thoughts and what her reactions would be if she had to be taken to Maxence.
"I don't know how I'll react and how I'll act. You'll have to help me, Rose. I'll be protective and moody."
"I will. I promise. Just try to stay calm. And I'll try to keep you calm."
Rose only nodded at The Wolf's words and continued to draw quietly to help keep the Wolf and herself calm and distracted from the pain. She traced over some of her sketch to finalize the look of it all, still wondering about Maxence, still wondering how he was going. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind and just let it go until she got an update.
The Wolf was thinking about it. It felt a spark of another Wolf. It was weak, but it sensed it. It didn't know what it was or where it had come from or why it was sudden. Rose shook her head and drew a little quicker, softly singing to herself to try and distract the Wolf.
In the meanwhile, Liv was back at the hospital and she was walking straight to Rose's room. She knocked on the door and unlocked it. Rose looked at the door as she heard it unlock and stopped her singing, putting her pencil down. Liv got in the room.
"I've found him," she just said to Rose.
She had to take things slow. If she was going too fast, Rose would freak out. Taking her outside when she hadn't left the hospital for years would be difficult so they had to take it step to step. Slowly and carefully.
Rose smiled at Liv. A spark of hope burned in her heart. It was the best news she could ever have today. Liv had finally found Maxence. Meaning he would come back and help her out of there.
"You did? That's great! Where's he at?" She looked around Liv briefly and the spark of hope just faded away. "Oh. Not with you."
She saw the paper in her hand and bit her lip lightly. She decided not to ask any more questions, not wanting to annoy or overwhelm Liv with them. She was just happy to know they had found him. She also knew what that paper and Maxence's absence meant. He hadn't wanted to come there. Rose had to go to him.
Liv looked sadly at Rose when she noticed that Maxence wasn't with her. It was understandable. She was supposed to bring him back there. Not coming back without him. Taking her out was the last resort. And she had to use her last card.
"I'm sorry. He didn't come. He stayed in his flat."
Liv was hesitating in telling her how miserable Maxence looked and how awful he had been to her. Was it a good idea to bring Rose to him in the end? But if she didn't, how would he remember her?
"It's okay. I understand why he didn't come with you."
"He's forgotten it all about coming here and talking to you. He didn't want to believe me. I think that's partly because he's having a hard time. His mother and girlfriend were with him. I think his girlfriend liked the fact I wanted to kick his ass out of his flat to here."
She laughed a bit. So did Rose. Life had probably not been easy on Maxence either but at least, he had his family around to help whenever he had a hard time.
"I knew he would forget. No one needed to tell me that. I'm sure he didn't wanna believe you though. But I'm also sure he's having a hard time because he doesn't remember."
"I don't think there's only the fact he can't remember. There are some mysteries about your therapist. It makes him much more interesting than any other therapist actually. He seems like someone who knows what he's talking about. Whatever he's been through, it made him who he is now."
There was more to Maxence Spitz than what he was showing. The Maxence Spitz she had seen in that flat wasn't the Maxence Spitz she had seen in that hospital. Of course the electrocution had had a big impact on him but it wasn't the only thing.
"I've figured out there are mysteries about my therapist. Maybe I'll get to learn about them as time go on. It does make him much more interesting as a therapist though. He's fresh out of college. Of course he knows what he's talking about. He's fresh out of college after all. And he seems like a bit of a natural at his job. Maybe I'll have him talk to me more about himself."
Maybe she would. Usually therapists didn't talk about their private lives to their patients, but Maxence didn't belong to that stereotype. Liv was sure that it wasn't only because he was fresh out of college. For her, there was something more. As if Maxence Spitz had been in Rose's situation one day. Maybe he had been, but there was no trace of him in any files of any institute of the town. Liv would have known if he had been in one of them. She had worked in almost all the psychiatric institutes around the town and she would have known if he had been to one of them. Or maybe he was just a really good empathic person. Maybe he was just feeling Rose's pain and using it to help her.
"Anyway, I remembered you telling me that you could force him to remember everything so I've taken a form that allowed you to come out of here for a few hours and made him sign it like you've talked about."
She showed Rose the paper she still had in hand.
"Good girl. You did remember then. Thanks for taking it to him and making him sign it. It might be my only ticket to get him back."
"I haven't left him much of a choice."
"I can tell."
"If you feel ready, I can bring you to him. Otherwise, I'll manage to bring him back here one way or another. Looks like if you yell loud enough against him, he's obeying."
Or was it only because he was feeling like shit and wanted them all to leave? Rose stood up and stretched a bit. She tossed the blanket on her bed. She played with the hem of her shirt. She was nervous about the idea of going outside, but she also felt relieved. She would be away from those suffocating walls for a few hours. But how would she handle the new world outside?
"Yeah. I think I'm ready. Take me to him."
Rose walked closer to Liv. She was chewing her bottom lip because she really was anxious to go out, but she would have to one day and she didn't want to be blocked by the fact she had been locked down there for years. She had to try. It was now or never.
Liv folded the paper and put it in her pocket. She walked out of the room and waited until Rose was out to lock it back so no one would steal her stuff. She walked to the nurses' office, making sure Rose was walking close to her, and filled a form to notify Rose's exit.
Rose slowly followed Liv outside of the room. She looked around and stayed close to her nurse, leaving a little space between them not to make her uncomfortable. She was so nervous she felt like wrapping herself around so she wouldn't leave her alone in the cold corridors of the hospital. Instead, she just took Liv's hand carefully as she filled out a paper to notify her exit.
"We usually use a car with a driver when we have a professional trip, but since it's your first trip outside, I think it's better if it's just you and me and my car. Is that alright to you?" Liv asked Rose while signing the document.
"Yes, please. It'd make it easier on me. I'm already nervous enough."
"Yeah, I knew this was gonna make you really nervous. If you feel bad or anything, just tell me, okay? I'll make sure to help you the best I can."
"I will. I promise."
"Where the hell are you taking her?" suddenly asked Nash, coming from behind them.
Liv sighed and turned to face her. They would obviously have to deal with Nash. She knew everything that was going on in her hospital. You couldn't do anything without her knowing. Liv held Rose's hand gently, knowing it was probably helping her to stay calm. She gently stroked it with her thumb when Nash made her appearance.
Rose swallowed. There was already a faint golden spark in her eyes, and it only grew more when she heard Nash's voice. She growled briefly and turned with Liv. She watched Nash as she read the papers, staying close to Liv the whole time. She wasn't leaving Liv's side. She was too scared to at the moment, and was thankful that Liv wasn't making her go in the car with the driver for a more professional trip. Rose would be content with the trip consisting of just herself and Liv.
Rose gently held Liv's hand, the soft and gentle contact helping her stay calm. She softly stroked her fingers with her thumb when Nash appeared. The Wolf was already on high alert and really protective. New territory. New surroundings. It made Rose even more nervous. Especially with having to deal with Nash now.
"Meeting with her therapist. I have all the authorisations."
She gave the papers to Nash who read them quickly. She indeed couldn't do anything when she had all the papers in hands. Spitz had signed one of them himself. How the hell had he been able to do that? Had Olivia found him? Was she bringing Rose to him so the Wolf could fix his mind? Nash's rage was burning now. She was losing another battle to Rose and Maxence. That couldn't continue that way.
"Big risk you're taking there."
Rose rolled her eyes briefly at Nash's words.
"Why is it such a risk? I have to try some time to go outside these walls."
"He who tries nothing had nothing, right?"
A soft glare was in her eyes. She hated the woman, and was glad to have Liv around to help her so much. She was thankful for her and wanted to keep contact with her outside of that place. Once she was out here for good.
"How did you convince him to sign that paper anyway?"
"It doesn't matter. He signed it. Final point."
Liv took the papers back and opened a drawer. She put them into Rose's record and left the office. She walked towards the exit with Rose. When she reached the last doors separating from the outside world, Liv stopped and looked at Rose.
"It all depends on you now. If you're not ready, we can go back. If you are, my car is in the underground parking of the hospital. We won't meet much people there."
They would meet more of them around Maxence's flat since he was living in a nice area, very animated. And there would be two women she didn't know. All of that would be overwhelming for her, and Liv was worried about that, but she would immediately take Rose back if anything felt wrong.
"I'm ready," Rose replied softly.
She was super nervous, but she felt ready. It was now or never, and she decided to choose now. The sooner, the better. She squeezed Liv's hand gently and took a deep breath, exhaling softly.
Liv nodded and walked out of the hospital, using the door leading to the underground parking. She never let go of Rose's hand as she walked down some stairs and went to her car. Thankfully there was no one around. It would be easier for Rose.
"Nice car," Rose told Liv softly.
Liv unlocked the doors of her car and gently helped Rose into the passenger seat. She was forced to let go of her hand to close the door and get on the driver seat. She buckled up and turned the motor on. She waited until Rose was buckled up too before leaving the parking. She drove slowly and carefully, being as quiet as she could. Everything was new to Rose in a way and she didn't want to scare her for her first time outside. She soon reached Maxence's building. She parked in front of it.
Rose picked at her fingers as Liv got ready to leave the parking lot and looked out the window as she drove slow and carefully, thankful for the quiet. It was nice and quiet and Rose felt relaxed. She didn't want to be more scared for her first time outside. And she wasn't. She looked around a bit as Liv arrived at Maxence's flat.
"Here we are. He's living up here. Third floor. Nice flat."
"Okay. It looks like a nice place."
Liv bit down her lip and looked thoughtful for a moment. She had to let her know about Maxence's condition. She couldn't throw in there to face a man who wouldn't recognise her and who would be rude.
"When I left him earlier, he looked miserable and was very rude to me. He was in pain and, I suppose, he is still confused about what has happened. I'm telling you this for you not to be surprised or scared. I'll talk to him first. His family is probably still here. They will help with the talking if needed."
Rose chewed her bottom lip lightly and looked at Liv as she spoke to her, unbuckling her seatbelt. She frowned softly.
"Miserable and rude? Hm. It's probably because he's in pain and that he's grumpy. Thanks for the warning about him. I'll let you walk in first. I'm sure his family's still here taking care of him. He isn't in the best condition to be left alone."
Rose picked at her fingers again nervously. Hopefully Maxence wasn't too rude and miserable. If he was, she would feel uncomfortable and it would make her even more nervous than she already was. She would reach a limit she was already crossing by being out of the hospital if he was rude to her.
Liv got out of the car after unbuckling herself. She walked around the car and opened Rose's door. She helped her out of the car and locked the doors right after.
"You stay close to me, okay? Nothing will happen to you as long as you'll stay close to me. I'll keep you safe."
"I'll stay close. I promise. I have no plans on running or anything."
She gently took Rose's hand and walked to Maxence's building. She rang and explained through the intercom who she was and why she was there. Donna let her in and opened the door to them when they reached the third floor.
Rose took her hand gently and stroked it slowly, walking to Maxence's flat close beside Liv. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She was really nervous and the golden spark in her eyes was a bit brighter than earlier.
"I wasn't expecting you to come back so quickly," admitted Donna. She looked at Rose. "I guess you're Maxence's patient. I'm sorry he can't remember you and forced you to come here. He sometimes needs to be shaken to get his senses back."
"Yup. I'm the patient. It's okay that he can't remember. I understand why he can't. I don't mind coming here too much. It's nice to get out."
Donna led them to the kitchen. Joanne was in the bedroom with Maxence to watch over him. Donna wondered how Maxence's patient was supposed to help him remember but she didn't ask. Maybe just seeing her would help. Or maybe there was something else.
"He's fallen asleep after you left. He wasn't feeling very well. I'm sorry that he has been so rude to you. He's usually a charming guy."
Donna was very worried about Maxence. Especially now that she knew that the words were forming themselves on his skin, words he had no idea what they were meaning. The new one was a full name. The name of his patient. What could possibly the reason behind it?
"It's okay. I've seen worse than him. Some patients are pain in the ass but my job is to take care of them so I don't care about them being awful to me. They quickly learn that I'm not their enemy. Let me introduce you to miss Tyler. She indeed is doctor Spitz's patient. She needs him to get better. He's her only hope in that hospital. Maybe seeing her would wake his memory."
Liv didn't say anything about the Wolf or the fact that Maxence was Rose's last shot to get out of a horrible place, but she noticed the surprised look Donna gave to Rose. The Tyler name wasn't unknown for some reason. Liv had told Rose's name a few times as she was trying to put some senses back in Maxence's head, but there was more than that. Something unexplainable at the moment.
Rose kept close to Liv like she had promised she would. She would show them how she would make Maxence remember. She felt bad that Liv had to deal with a rude Maxence instead of the charming Maxence they had seen just around a week ago. He didn't seem like he was feeling well at all.
Rose nodded at Liv's words. People indeed found out that Liv wasn't their enemy. Rose had found that out when she was covered in blood and terrified of anyone coming within ten feet of her. She was better about that now. She was thankful that Liv didn't mention anything about the Wolf or that Maxence was her last ticket out of the institute. Rose would explain that if needed but right now, it didn't need to be said. She looked at Donna and swallowed lightly.
"I'm Rose. Rose Tyler. As Liv just explained."
Rose held out a hand to Donna to shake her hand. She also noticed Donna's surprise face to her name. Did she know her somehow? Or her mother maybe?
Donna's eyes grew big when Rose gave her her full name. She definitely knew the name even though she had never met the girl. She only knew Rose's name because Liv had mentioned it and because it was the name that engraved itself over Maxence's heart causing him to be in a lot of pain. But she kept silent about it.
"I'm assuming you've heard my name before, judging by the look on your face."
"No, I didn't hear it before. I've seen it. Somewhere. I'm sure I've already read it."
Donna wouldn't admit that she had seen it on her boyfriend's skin, though she didn't know what it meant. She didn't know what any of those words meant. The Wolf sensed that she was lying though. She knew something they didn't.
"Mm. I see. I hope my name wasn't used badly wherever you read it at."
"I don't know quite yet. Haven't read the whole thing yet."
"Okay. Well, I hope it's not bad."
One way or another Rose Tyler was linked to those words on his body, but she couldn't talk about it. Not without the fear of him being locked away because of his scarification. He wasn't crazy like they had all thought. There was something unexplainable, something they couldn't tell so he wouldn't be taken away from his family.
"I assume he's being rude because he can't remember," continued Rose. "I know what happened to him, and I know how, why, and where. 'Cause I've had the same done to me. It just didn't work on me. I don't think he can tell you what happened. 'Cause he can't remember. Or maybe he just doesn't wanna talk about it. You know how guys are."
"I've heard something about electrocution." She glanced at Liv and looked back at Rose. "I don't like it. If it's true, I don't want him to go back there. What kind of hospital treats their doctors that way? Whoever did this is gonna have to face me first!"
She was angry of course. Whoever did this to her Maxence was gonna pay. She hated seeing him feeling so bad. She wanted to get her Maxence back. The gentle and caring and loving and smiling Maxence. She hated the miserable Maxence, and she had seen him like that too many times before.
"Mmhm. It's a forbidden method that they still use. Your boyfriend is my last ticket out of the institute. I need him to come back. The person who did this to him shouldn't be touching him again, I hope."
"The person who did this to him is gonna meet me and she's not gonna like me."
Donna had always been very expressive and her anger against the person who had hurt her Maxence was clearly written all over her face and in her body's language. If she ever met Nash, there would be a fight, and Liv was ready to bet on Donna as the winner. There was no better fighter than a woman whose family had been hurt. That fight could be interesting.
"You'll get yourself banned from the place if you even think about doing that. I already hurt her for what she did to Maxence. I threw her across the room. Feel free to have a fight with her but I wouldn't want you to get arrested or something."
"Won't be the first place I'd be banned from."
Donna laughed. She was quite a fighter and had always gotten in trouble because of that. She had gotten wiser over the years, and didn't fight that much, because it was better not to provoke her, and not to touch to his family. Rose laughed with her.
"I can assume not. But it wouldn't be worth it. Just fight her out in public maybe. Something."
"I'll find a way to get my revenge, don't you worry about that. She's gonna regret what she's done to him. No one's touching my Maxence."
Her point was clear enough. If Nash ever touched her Maxence again, no one would be able to stop her from hurting the woman and whoever would try to help her. If they didn't believe her, they better ask some girl named River Song who had tried to steal Maxence from her. The girl was badass but Donna had ruined her in just a few minutes.
"I hope you find a clever and good way of revenge. You'll have to tell me about that whenever we get to see each other again. If we get to that is."
Maybe they would get to see each other again one day. Donna was pretty curious about Rose Tyler now. Maxence had always been a mystery to her. There was a lot of things that she didn't know about him, a lot that he didn't know about himself either. She wanted to resolve the mystery that he was, and Rose Tyler was obviously part of this mystery so yes, they would see each other again.
"I'm making sure she's not doing any damage to anyone anymore," intervened Liv, "but it's not easy when you're alone against twenty people. Everyone's scared, so they just obeyed. Some just like being assholes I guess."
Because she couldn't believe that all those people were obeying just by fear. Some people were mean because it was in their nature. It was the worst institute Liv had to work in.
"People in the institute indeed like being assholes," sighed Rose. "It's horrible."
Donna thought that Rose looked nice though she seemed really nervous and according to her words, it was probably the first time in a very long time that she was getting out of her room in the mental institute. If Liv had made Maxence sign the paper for her to get out – even for a few hours – it meant that she wasn't too unstable in the end. None of them would have taken the risk if she hadn't been stable.
Rose casually rubbed her temple and closed her eyes calmly. The Wolf in Maxence was weak but her Wolf could sense it and wanted to go help. Rose was sure she could help him in more ways than one. But not quite yet. Not 'til Donna said they could go see him. It would be rude if Rose went straight to him. She picked at her fingers lightly and opened her eyes again, looking around the flat.
"Are you alright?" Liv asked Rose gently. "Do you want any aspirin?"
She had some in her pocket. She always had aspirin on her. It was useful.
"No. no medication can help. It's the Wolf. It'll pass eventually."
Rose was nervous to take medication anyway. Not with what she had to deal with for the years she had been at the institute. She was always taking medication. She didn't want to anymore.
"New surroundings, new people. The Wolf's just trying to take it all in. And with doctor Spitz in pain, it sparks concern for the Wolf. Plus, it senses something," Rose added softly, trying to ignore her pounding head.
Liv nodded, but she didn't like the fact that Rose was in pain. She listened to her explanations, ignoring Donna's surprised look on them.
"It senses something? Like another person with psychic abilities? Someone… Like you?"
She hated the turn of her sentence for the reason it made Rose the crazy girl in the area and she was definitely not crazy. She was even the most reasonable patient Liv had ever met.
"It senses another Wolf. One a lot weaker. It was sparked by pain. Maybe that's why I had such a bad migraine this morning. The Wolf that it's sensing is in this flat. But it's harder to detect because it's so small and weak."
"Would you like something to drink? We have coffee, tea, chocolate, or fruit juice, milk, water," asked Donna to change the subject.
Liv only accepted a tea. She sat down on a stool and showed Rose the second one for her to sit too. That way, they would stay close to each other and Rose wouldn't feel as nervous as she already was.
"Tea, please," replied Rose, sitting on the stool close to Liv.
Donna got their drinks ready and set them in front of them when they were done. Then, she sat down across from them on the other side of the counter. She looked at Rose who wrapped her hands around the cup to warm them up and sipped the tea slowly, sighing contently at the taste. Her first cup of tea in years. Boy, she had missed tea! She would drink it as much as she could when she got out of that institute permanently.
"How long has he been this way?"
"Around a week. He had passed out on the bed when I came home for lunch on Tuesday. I thought he was drunk actually, but it looks like he wasn't in the end. I think something has happened to him but he can't remember it or doesn't wanna tell me what. He's been like this since then, but he isn't so rude usually."
Donna didn't talk about Maxence's old demons, about that the fact he had been an alcoholic and a junky five years ago and that he was going through another phase of withdrawal right now. She didn't talk about the words forming themselves on his skin either. That wasn't their business.
Maxence was still in a lot of pain right now and his eyes still had that weak golden spark in them as he was struggling against the pain. But his eyes were closed so no one could see that spark. His mother was running a cold wet flannel over his sweating face. She had taken off his shirt and bandaged the new wound. She was now looking at the other words on his skin, words they were all so sure he was engraving himself in his skin. There was no possible link between all of them. What could they possibly mean?