Chapter 11: Out of the Cold
Coffee: the elixir of life, as Lee's brother used to call it. Though Lee usually took his black, this early morning he opted for a splash of creamer and didn't realize it was hazelnut-flavored until he took his first sip. It was a little too sweet for his tastes, but as Benji used to say, "Caffeine in any form, my brother," and this day of all days, Lee could have used the boost.
It had stopped raining today, but that didn't account for much because the roads had already frozen over. Lee could hardly see his front lawn thanks to the frost coating the kitchen window like a scrim, and he could only pray that he'd be able to get out of his driveway. Lee downed the rest of his java and set the ceramic mug in the sink.
Clementine came down a minute later, sans baseball cap, and wordlessly handed Lee a yellow piece of construction paper. On it, she had drawn a curly-haired girl, a freckly boy, and a dark sky full of glowing fireflies.
"Do you think Duck will like it?" she asked.
Lee kissed her cold cheeks and pulled her in an embrace. "He'll love it," he told her.
Lee helped Clementine into her blue jacket and buttoned up his pea coat—the only nice coat he owned—and together they braved the cold and piled into the car. He fumbled with the dials to get the heat working, and when he could no longer see his breath, Lee backed carefully out of the driveway, shifting into four-wheel-drive as the tires slid on the glassy streets.
The two drove in relative silence as thick flakes began to fall and settle onto the hood of the car. Lee flicked on the windshield wipers, glancing in the rearview mirror where Clementine sat with her picture in her lap.
"Did I ever tell you about how my brother lost his pinkie toe?" Lee asked quite suddenly as the car's wipers pushed piles of wet snow out of view.
Clementine made a disgusted little face, which made him chuckle. "No," she said. "What happened?"
"It was the first snow of the season, and Pop sent Benji and I out to shovel the driveway," he began, the memory materializing faster than he could tell it. "We finished early, so did all the usual snow day stuff: snowball fights, forts, snowmen."
Clementine's interest was piqued, so he continued. "We were having so much fun, that when Ma called us inside, Benji refused, and told me that he was going to 'stay outside all day, and Ma wasn't going to do anything about it.' That's when I had the brilliant idea to—" Lee snorted, unable to help himself, "—to build him into a snowman so he wouldn't have to go inside."
Clementine's jaw fell in disbelief. "How?" she asked.
"He picked a spot in the yard and I just piled snow all around him; his arms, his legs, even his head." At Clem's disapproving expression he added, "Don't worry, I poked him some airholes."
"What did you tell your mom?"
"I told her I thought Benji had come inside because he wasn't anywhere in the yard. She and my pop immediately went outside looking for him; down the street, in the woods near the house, the neighbors' yards, everywhere. This went on all day, and at one point, they even called in the police to help them look." Lee burst out laughing, tears stinging his eyes as he recalled the hordes of adults running around the neighborhood looking for his brother. "And the whole time, Benji was right under their noses, posing as the ugliest snowman I'd ever seen!"
At that, Clementine's face broke and her smile lit up his rearview mirror. She laughed, too; a musical sound.
When he'd gained control of his breathing again, Lee said, "He finally revealed himself around dinnertime when he was getting hungry, and I don't think I'd ever seen Ma that angry. She hauled him over to the hospital, and they said he was completely fine except for the frostbite in his feet."
Clem gasped. "So they took off his toe?"
"Yup." He could see the image clearly: Benji reclining on a hospital bed like a king, giving Lee the thumbs-up as Pop dragged him back into the hallway for a stern talking-to. "We were stupid kids, obviously, and I never want you pulling a stunt like that. But there were no regrets. Being idiots together was worth the missing toe, he told me later." He sighed, breath fogging the window. "Good memories are really important, Clem. Hold onto those."
He heard the shift of her coat as she snuggled into the backseat.
When they arrived at the hall, Lee parked in the space right next to the car he recognized as Kenny's. He and Clementine practically sprinted towards the building to outrun the oncoming snow.
"Why do I have to wear a dress?" asked Clementine. She sported the thickest tights she owned, but still shivered as she rushed to keep up with Lee.
"Because we want to look nice, sweetie," Lee replied, already regretting wearing his thin dress pants. The wind was cutting through him like he was made of tissue paper. They reached the building and he yanked open the door, the sudden warmth suffocating him for a moment. As he ushered Clementine inside, he noticed a figure standing on the nearby curb, snow beginning to rest on his head and shoulders like he was a statue.
"Why don't you find Christa?" Lee told Clem. "I'll be inside in a minute,"
When Clementine had disappeared into the building, Lee shoved his hands into his pockets and jogged over to the man, who on closer inspection, he recognized as Kenny. His greying hair straggled out around his ears, which were red from the bite of the wind. Lee checked his pace before cautiously approaching his friend.
"Hey, man," he said, hand gently resting on his shoulder. "It's cold out here."
Kenny seemed to just realize that Lee was there. He turned, a look of pleasantness on his face. "Lee!" he said. "You're early!"
Lee glanced at his watch. "Yeah. Maybe a little."
"Well, we appreciate it. Y'all are like family, you know." Kenny leaned his head back to stare at the white, formless clouds. "Duck was just telling me how much he loves the gift you guys got him. The stuffed mallard? He says it's like a 'little him'."
Lee pressed his lips together, constricting his grip on Ken's shoulder. "I'm glad he likes it."
Lee wished he could shepherd Ken where it was warm, but the man seemed frozen in place, looking at the sky, eyes glossy, not there. He was already gathering a dusting of snow.
"You want to go inside?" Lee asked after a minute of stillness.
Kenny closed his eyelids against the sunless sky. "It's…it's too warm in there."
Lee tugged him gently. "Come on. We'll go together," he said, tone light, and pulled Kenny away from the sidewalk and back towards the hall. They went inside, and Kenny dazedly removed his coat for Lee to hang up on the nearby rack. The light trickle of a piano floated in as they entered the sanctuary. Katjaa and Clementine already sat in the front row, and the men quickly joined them.
"Did you give Duck your present?" Lee said to Clementine in an undertone.
She nodded towards the casket. From here, Lee could just make out a splash of yellow paper and a stuffed duck sitting on the pale boy's chest.
Lee put his arm around her as they waited for the service to start.