If Riley had held out hope for even a moment that there might have been a shift in Starsky's attitude toward him it was quickly dashed. Any lightness that might have been in his face fell away completely when he looked up from his notebook and realized who had just entered the locker room. Never - or at least not in a long while could Riley ever recall being even noteworthy enough to make another man look at him like Starsky was looking at him at that moment.

Venomous.

As though he despised him.

Starsky cocked his head on the side, casually slipping the notebook in the inside of his jacket as he gave Riley his full attention.

"So, I guess this counts as our first encounter as cops on the job – when I left for that undercover gig you were only a pink-faced rookie down in the Radio Room. I seem to keep forgetting that in my – absence – you've gone up in the world. Got yourself a street job, got yourself a shiny gun, even got yourself a partner that wasn't yours for a time."

"Yes – guess all those things have happened Starsky. Time moves on and things change. Got a new partner now – I guess you may have heard. It's not like being partnered up with someone as experienced as Hutch of course – but it's still feels good. I - I'm sure you know how much I appreciate having the opportunity of working with Hutch when you were away."

"Don't thank me if that's what you're doin' – had nothin' to do with me. If I had the choice it'd never have been that way. Hutch would've been better off without you – "

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Oh Riley, Riley. Don't tell me that ya' gonna stand there and look at me like that? Stand there and put on that wounded voice and ask me that stupid question? I wish you could see yourself standing there lookin' at me with that dumb expression on your face and fake confusion in your eyes? You practice that act for long before you put it on Riley? Because I can tell you, it ain't winning it with me. You have the balls - or hell - the stupidity, to ask me why I have this anger and resentment toward you? Why I don't want you hangin' around my partner, messin' in our lives, fuckin' up his head with all your pretense at loyalty and devotion?"

"None of it – none of it is pretense. It never has been. I do feel that way. I have respect and admiration for him – yes and loyalty too. He's been – a wonderful mentor to me. I owe him a lot."

"You're damn right you do. He showed you how to keep your nose clean, how to get through a shift without a bullet in your back or a knife across your throat. He showed you how to stay alive – and how did you repay him? Answer me that Riley? How did you repay a man who by your own admission did so much for you?"

His was breathing almost laboured, his voice deeper, grinding out the words with something close to savagery. With each punctuated phrase he moved closer to Riley – the bank of lockers behind him, the room quiet except for Starsky's menacing voice.

"I know where you're going with this Starsky, but it's far from what happened."

"Really? You think just because I wasn't fully with it, not totally conscious that I haven't worked out how illogical the whole series of events were that night?"

"Even if it seems illogical to you - the events on record describe clearly how it happened. Hutch was there and he was conscious - he can tell you the same thing."

"Hutch probably wasn't much better off than I was after he'd finished with us both. And, his viewpoint might be a little biased. After all, he seems to feel a certain amount of - responsibility for you I guess. You were his Trainee - he would have felt some of his own loyalty toward you."

"It's still the way it happened." Riley persisted. "I arrived at the house and intercepted Ryan abusing you and restraining Hutch - forcing him to watch what Ryan did to you."

"You think I need you to tell me again what was going down in that room huh? I don't need your little recap version Riley so save your breath."

"All I did was my best. I did my best to save you both and get you out of that room in one piece."

"Well you were fuckin' too late by about an hour! It's gonna take me a hell of a long time to ever be in one piece again. And Hutch - he should never have had to watch what that Motherfucker did to me - never."

The ragged starkness of the statement and the pain beneath the words was an indicator of Starsky's brewing rage.

"I would have stopped it all if I could. I would have - saved you both from what he did. You're right - I was too late. Too late, but at least I ended it."

Despite the undercurrent of anguish and self recrimination from Riley, Starsky's anger seemed only to escalate.

"Cut out the shit! What do you think you ended Riley? You had a gun – a big powerful loaded, police issued gun in your newly trained up hands. You walked right into an active crime scene where one man was tied to a bed, battered and bleeding – and the other – your partner, your partner Riley for fuck's sake, was tied to a chair half crazed with what he had endured. You faced down the armed and dangerous perpetrator, who was openly threatening you with his weapon. You knew he intended to kill Hutch – you must have seen it in his eyes – he hates him. And what? What Riley? What did you do?"

As though unable to stop himself he brought his hands up to Riley's collar and pushed him back noisily against the lockers – the force of the shove reverberating down the bank of them, metal clanging against metal and echoing across the tiled floor.

Riley didn't flinch. Instead he held his ground and brought his own face even closer to Starsky's darkened fury – only an inch between their noses.

"You know what I did Starsky! I took control of the situation – just as Hutch had taught me to do. I wounded Ryan and restrained him – I called for backup and got you and Hutch free and you to hospital and Ryan taken in by the local police. You know what I did Starsky – you're just seeing it how your mind is telling you to see it. I understood that. I understood that at first and I was prepared to accept that you needed to do that – but -."

"But what Riley, what?"

He shook the younger man hard as he himself shook with vibrating anger. Riley knew his next words were a risk – the man in his personal space was one breath away from smashing his fist into his face.

"I'm over this Starsky. Over it! I'm not going to let you treat me like this anymore. Hutch is wrong too. He'll go on protecting you from facing the fact that this is all shit – all in your head. He'll do that for you Starsky – until you can come to terms with it yourself. He even said it again last night. Thinks that time will make it all clear to you – doesn't want to push you. Well I'm the one in the middle here – between you treating me like a criminal because you think I'm with Ryan and Hutch expecting me to take it because he will never let you do it the hard way."

Riley felt the hands loosening, could see the first doubts creeping into Starsky – caught the moment when he thought he might have hit a nerve.

"You were talking about this last night with Hutch? "

"Of course we were – or I was. I saw the filthy look you gave me at the funeral, I know what you thought when you saw me with Ryan. But it had nothing to do with me – he came up to me. I never approached him – though I might be tempted. I've been following him, tailing him for a week or more – he was pissed off."

"Why should I believe that?"

"You don't believe it obviously – I saw that yesterday. You wanted to rip me apart for even being near Hutch. I'm sick of it Starsky – I'm sick of being made to feel like this and not being able to even talk to a man who I consider a friend because his partner has somehow got everything screwed up about me."

"Tell me Riley. What have I got screwed up about you? That you had the perfect opportunity to take Ryan out but you opted to wing him with a bullet. That you always seem to be one step behind him – turning up at the beach house –so conveniently, having a little 'tete a tete' with him at Dobson's funeral. You even told him where to find us at the Safe house didn't you?"

"What the hell? I didn't even know he came near you when you away – Hutch said nothing about that."

"That's because Hutch doesn't know about it and I don't want him to know. But how else would Ryan find us?"

"He's a cop – and a good one – he'd have found a way – just like he found you at the beach house."

"Or – you simply make it easy for him by handing it all to him. And – now I find out from Huggy that you're sniffing around after him at the bar – stickin' your nose in what he has to say about Hutch and me."

"I know nothing about him coming up to the safe house – but I'll admit I'm tailing him since Dobson's death. I've made no secret of that."

"Why? Tell me why you would want to do that?"

"Because I consider Hutch's welfare important – and I'm concerned that Ryan has more in store for the two of you."

"Just get your face out of Hutch's and my lives will you? No one asked you to get involved. You had your chance to take care of Ryan when he nearly killed Hutch in that room and you chose not to take it."

"You know as a cop yourself Starsky – you know I had no other way to play it. I managed to contain him without killing him. I'd have lost my badge if I'd wounded him mortally."

"And I know as a cop that I would never have left my partner at risk like you left Hutch at risk with Ryan."

"I took care of Ryan – I did what I had to do to stop him shooting me and I took control of the situation."

"You knew Ryan was never going to shoot you didn't you? You took a gamble on Hutch's life by not taking Ryan out as soon as he raised his gun to you."

"I would never have put Hutch at risk. I went to that house because I was desperate to try to help him from what I knew was going to be a bad scene."

"You went to that house because you knew where Ryan was and what he was doing. All I know is I want you out of my life – and Hutch's. Am I clear Riley?"

Starsky stepped back a little then – dropping is hands from Riley's collar suddenly as though he was only just aware they were still gripped around his jacket.

"It'll be a lot better for all of us if you keep your distance from us until this whole fuckin' mess with Ryan is over – then I won't have to keep worryin' about your role in it."

"Starsky you can't tell me how to live my life. Even though I'm a Rookie – you have no say over my professional or personal life in any way."

"Damn - I guess I mustn't have been clear enough or you're more of a slow learner than I took you for kid. I want you to stay away from me, stay away from Hutch."

"You know I think the real issue here isn't about Ryan anymore. I even think you are starting to realize that. I think you've got an exception with me – probably would have had with anyone who took your place beside your partner while you were out of action."

The flare of anger rekindled instantly and Starsky brought his hand up to rub hard at his forehead – pressing his fingertips in hard enough to leave indentations on his skin. Riley thought that it looked almost as though he was trying to rub away the rage that was building again.

Riley could see it, he could sense it, but he kept on.

"Hutch has been there every step of the way for you. I've watched him turn himself inside out for you, worry and agonize about your safety, pitted himself against two Captains, put his own job on the line – all for you. You have no idea."

"Don't try to tell me that I do not know my partner. Don't even go there."

"Then if you do then why are you letting him keep twisting himself in knots to make it all better for you? He's not even had a life since all this started – been too busy putting yours back together. You've been nothing but selfish and self centered since all of this happened. Now you think you can tell him who he can and can't have as friends. You don't own him Starsky – as much as you might think you do."

"Don't you fuckin' talk to me like that Riley – you have no right to make judgments on Hutch and me. You know nothing about me or him or what a real partnership is."

"Is that true? Why not? I walked beside Hutch as a partner only for a brief while but I still consider him as my friend too. I know it's been a shocking time for you. I know you've been through hell and back. But so has Hutch. So has he. I want to be there for him as a friend. I'm not going to get out of his life unless he wants me to, unless he asks me to – and not just because he needs to do it to make you feel better."

"Stop now Riley – shut your mouth now. Not one more word about Hutch. Walk away while I'll still let you."

"While you still let me? That's the real issue you see? When I first found about you two – the famous partners in the precinct, maybe even the whole Department – I thought it was so cool. To be like you two were, are. Tight and inseparable and totally loyal to each other. And now I see what price there is for that relationship. I've watched Hutch wilt away over the past months while he suffers right along with you. And he will keep doing that without complaint."

"Enough…." The word was barely more than a ground out hiss but it the leverage behind it, the implied threat should have been enough to balk further provocation.

Riley however felt powerless to pull himself back from the cusp of danger.

'You can't be the one who decides what people can and can't do or say around Hutch. You don't own him Starsky. That's the real problem here isn't it? This isn't just about Ryan and me all tangled up in your head because of a traumatic event? It's a lot simpler than that."

He paused only briefly before he said it in the softest of tones. The simple bald assumption was not thrown out as a taunt or a jibe. Instead he laid it in front of the chilling rage that was Starsky more as an analysis, a proposition.

And Riley thought to himself – because more than anything – he really wanted Starsky to give him the answer.

"You don't want to share him do you?"

The blow would have sent him flying across the room if the bank of lockers were not directly behind him. Later on he wondered if his jaw and mouth would have come off better if he had gone sailing away from the force of the punch rather than taking it full on at close range with nowhere for his head to go but smashing back into the hard metal behind him.

Starsky's compact left fist cracked down hard and sharp and Riley felt the blossoming electric white pain fill his whole being. It was over in an instant and no other blow followed, no other assault layered upon his screaming jaw. Which later also Riley would think was just as well – there was enough behind that single punch to ignite his head into a shattering explosion of agonizing pain. His stomach twisted in protest to the pain, spasming and throwing up thin vomit that he tried to swallow back down as it mixed with the blood that was already pooling in his burning mouth.

Somehow he stayed upright, even after Starsky pulled back and clutched his grazed knuckles in his right hand.

His head was swimming, his jaw and neck were on fire and his teeth were loose and coated with blood – but he pushed away from the locker and brushed the first rivulet of blood from his chin with a steady enough hand.

He was proud of that – proud that he could do that and still look his assailant in the eye.

Starsky was not reciprocating and had instead already turned around and walked about ten paces to the water basin where he was dousing his raw knuckles and slewing water on his face. Even under his own semi dazed fog of pain and rattled brain Riley could hear him cursing furiously – each obscenity interjected between each slew of water across his face.

"Fuckin' – stupid – shit – idiot – Jesus – H – Christ – you – stupid – DAMN IT!"

With a viscous kick Starsky sent the wastebasket under the sink crashing against the wall. Straightening up only long enough to shake his hair and face free of water droplets he made a swipe at the towel dispenser still cursing beneath his breath. He bundled a wad of paper towels, slammed them under the cold water and then pulled them back, smashing the tap off with almost enough violence to rip the fixture from the sink.

Striding back over to Riley he stopped in front of him and thrust out the wet wad of paper. This time he looked Riley in the eye and this time Riley couldn't do the same. The intensity that he knew he would find there was more than he could take right now that the initial shock of the blow had worn off and the reality of the situation was sinking in.

Instead Riley focused on accepting the sodden pile of paper from Starsky and pressing its coolness to his bloodied throbbing jaw.

"Wipe your face," Starsky ordered him gruffly before he turned away and strode toward the door.

Pressing his own injury to his mouth Starsky sucked hard on the grazed knuckles before swinging back and looking once more at Riley.

Riley took a quick mental stock of what Starsky might be seeing. Despite shaking limbs and waves of nausea he still somehow managed to stand upright against the lockers.

Through a mist of pain and confused thoughts Riley tried to focus on being proud of that fact.

Never in his young life had he taken such a severe and unguarded blow without succumbing to blackness or wretched groaning and tears. Somehow it seemed incredibly important - paramount almost, that Starsky see him withstand the lightening strike blow he had just dealt him.

Hard nosed cops like Starsky, surely respected the currencies of pride, stamina and fortitude and Riley sucked in gasps of air as he dug deep inside himself now for a handful of each while he willed himself to hold it together.

Just a few more seconds, a few more seconds and then I can let go...Once he walks away...I can let myself go.

Starsky still hadn't moved, just stared hard at him while his face creased in deep lines of frustration.

"What did you expect from me Riley? Really – what did you expect?" Starsky asked him in an almost pained voice, as though he was close to some breaking point.

Riley had no hesitation in responding, but the delivery of his response was a tortured effort for him and he railed hard against his abused jawline and inner mouth.

"Wh - What I got. I expect - ed what I got," he managed to utter between locked teeth.

Starsky only shook his head and muttered something indeterminate before slamming out through the locker room doorway.

Only after the door had banged behind him and Riley was alone in the locker room, did Riley give himself permission to slump heavily down the side of the lockers where he ended in a tidy heap on the cold tiled floor.

Finally he emitted a resounding gut wrenching moan and let himself admit for the first time what he had known for a while.

Starsky really did intimidate him.

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