I'm happy for her.

I am.

Am I overwhelmingly jealous? Without a freaking doubt.

My arms still hold her tightly to my form as she sobs into my chest. While my line of vision is flooded by the image of my devastatingly handsome husband, who is peaking out his head from our bedroom. From here I can see the flood of his tears pooling within his eyes, that are downcast and staring at my best friend. I shush her lightly, in hopes that Lucas wasn't eavesdropping and he just hates seeing her so sad.

It was a lost cause, I'm aware. But, after everything that we've had to go through the past few weeks, and how strong he had been for me, it was my turn to be strong. This was a devastating blow for him, I could see it written plain as day on his face.

Underneath the pure pain carved into his features, jealousy lingered underneath. "Maya, have you told Josh?"

Hiccupping a few sobs, she gingerly shakes her head no. "Okay," I murmur, not quite knowing exactly how to handle this delicate situation. Inhaling a shaky breath, I follow my instincts. I need to be happy for my best friend. Just because I had lost Asher, didn't mean her news was any less exciting. If I can't be a mommy right now, I'll settle for being an auntie. "Let's call Josh, huh?" I offer with a small, tight lipped smile on my face. If her eyes weren't so puffy, she may be able to see how forced it was. But, I'm trying.

"C-Can we text him, please?" Knowing he would freak out if he were to hear Maya's sobs, I nod in agreement. Less drama, the better, I'm just avoiding her dramatic entrance. While she's following through with texting her fiancée, my gaze flickers towards the man who hasn't so much as moved. That includes his eyes that are still glued to the same spot Maya was sitting at.

Rising off the couch, I'm striding towards him from across the room. Like he had seen me coming or felt the movement he's pulling me into his arms within seconds. A shaky breath escapes past his lips while hugging me tightly. "I love you," I whisper, "if you need to hide out in our room, or need to leave that's okay. Everyone will understand." I murmur, soothingly stroking his back. "But, I have to be here till Josh gets here. I-I have to let her know I don't hate her."

Lucas inches back, then tilts my head up to stare at his red rimmed eyes. Strong, calloused hands reach up to cup my face, "how?"

Knowing his question, I give him the same smile I had given Maya. "Because it's my turn to be strong. Because I have to be." Leaning in, I peck his cheek and lightly usher him into our room, promising I'll be in, in just a few moments.

Turning back into the living room, I'm caging every single emotion inside of my body. If I weren't a dancer, and had been used to having total control over my body, then I would look more like a robot. Luckily, Maya doesn't notice but asks, "Do you hate me?"

Frowning, I sit beside her and rest my head against her shoulder. "I could never hate you, Maya and you know that," I whisper, slightly admonishing her. Deciding to not mention how torn I am between jealousy and happiness, we remain sitting in silence.

Josh had texted 10 minutes ago that he was on his way, and from her tense muscles, I gathered she had something she wanted to say. "Maya, you and I tell one another, everything. I don't know what you want to say, but don't hesitate to tell me."

"I'm sorry," she's rushing out and pulling her hands away from mine to go back into a crying fit. "I shouldn't have come here. I – I knew what you guys were going through and I absolutely despised myself for getting pregnant. I just reacted, and drove straight here from the drugstore. How awful is that? That I hate myself for getting pregnant?"

I'm shaking my head, fighting the urge to smack her on the side of the head. "You don't despise getting pregnant. You despise mine and Lucas' situation."

"What?"

Maya mumbles a few curse words under her breath, her back straightens sharply at the new voice that entered the room. "Maya, what did Riley just say?"

Giving my best friend a nod of encouragement, she stands upright and faces her fiancée. Josh is grinning widely while watching the love of his life, until he sees her tears. Something within him clicks. Josh seems to register Maya's tears, then where he's standing. His eyes flicker towards me, apologies pouring out from one quick look.

I just shake my head, "be happy you two. This shouldn't be about how Lucas and I are feeling but how wonderful the next part of your lives are going to be."

Just be careful.

Josh nods before rushing into Maya's arms, with a Cheshire grin on his lips. Deciding that now was the best time to evacuate, I'm meandering towards our bedroom. Twisting the door knob, I squeeze through and lean against it to get it to close. Letting my form relax, a deep sigh escapes me. Glancing towards Lucas, who has fallen asleep on the bed, I let myself slide to the floor.

Silent sobs rake my shoulders. With Maya in the living room, and my husband sprawled out on our bed, sprawled out from exhaustion, I let myself grieve for just a little bit longer.

GMWGMWGMWGMWGMWGMW

I'm not quite sure what exactly happened. I remember falling asleep on the floor beside the door. My eyes shift towards the alarm clock on my bedside table and frown. It's eleven o'clock at night. What happened with Maya and Josh? Where's Lucas?

Throwing the covers off of me, I'm not surprised to find him watching 'Snapped' in the living room. I swear he could binge watch this show if I were to let him. That wasn't surprising, the pint of ice cream in his hands was. "You shouldn't sleep on the floor, sweetheart. You have a broken arm, and you'd be sore the next day." He admonishes lightly, nothing but love, adoration and care wrap around every single syllable. It's incredible to me, how much he loves me. How even him speaking to me, reveals that.

"Thank you for putting me to bed."

"I'll always take care of you."

Nodding with certainty, I move towards the couch when he silently beckons me over. "I'll always take care of you too, Lucas."

"I know, sweetheart." Once I'm comfortably cuddled into his side, he offers me a bite of ice cream that I take eagerly. "Every day I come home, and see how clean the house is, or smell how delicious dinner will be, or even when I look in my closet and see clean clothes, it reminds me of how good you are to me."

That's sweet and all, but, "I'm hoping I take care of you, aside from the 'dutiful housewife'."

Lucas chuckles, the familiar butterflies come to life within me. "Of course you do," he pecks my temple, letting his lips linger against my skin while speaking, "like earlier. You handling Maya while I camped out in our room. You're an incredible woman."

"It hit you hard, I could tell."

He scoffs, before spooning a ridiculous large bite into his mouth. "I was pissed, sad and jealous all in one. Sad and jealous for obvious reasons. But, why in the hell would she come here first? Dramatic, banging on the door and throwing herself at you like that? After everything you had been through –

"We." I interject.

He nods, "we had been through. What was the point in doing that? Josh should have been the first person she had told. They should have come here together and told us, calmly." He tacks on.

"I agree," I whisper, "she probably shouldn't have come here first. But would it have made a difference, the blow I mean? Whether or not the situation was calm with Josh, or frantic with Maya banging on our door, would it have changed how much it hurt?"

Sighing, he frowns. Those adorable wrinkles marring his perfect face, "I guess not," he mumbles dejectedly. "She still shouldn't have done it that way though."

"She apologized."

Giving me one last bite of ice cream, he sets it down on the coffee table and pulls me into his lap. Heavy hands roam over my thigh while I'm resting against his shoulder. "Josh texted me, saying he wanted to talk to me tomorrow. I'm sure it has something to do with their baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. I remember when I found out, how excited we were."

"It took everything inside of me to not tell you. I wanted to run and jump into your arms and scream at the top of my lungs that I was pregnant. Stupid Pintrest gave me different ideas."

Lucas laughs that deep baritone laugh, his hand caressing my stomach delicately. "Will you want to try for another one?"

Rubbing my chest, right above my heart, I nod. Lucas muscles – that I hadn't even realized were tense – relaxed instantly. I wouldn't ever deprive him of being a father, he'll make an amazing one. "Asher will always be with us. And no matter how happy I am for Maya, and to become an aunt, I want to be a mother more. I want to hold our baby, made from love and I want to look at him or her and point out what features belong to your or me." Lucas is grinning from ear to ear while listening to me ramble, "I want to see you be a dad, Lucas. I want to watch you have tea parties with our little girl or coach our boy's baseball team. I want you to beat up the boys who break our daughters' heart, or give our son silent praise after getting into his first fist fight." He laughs deeply, throwing his head back and shaking it lightly. "Though, I can't say I won't give him a pat on the back either."

Lucas leans in, hesitantly. Getting tired of him treating me like a glass doll, I groan and press my lips firmly against his. And just like that, within our tangle of limbs, also known as, love making, I knew things were going to be okay with us.

Not just Lucas and I.

But, between God and myself.

Between Asher and my heart.

I know I'll never be able to replace him. Asher, is my first baby.

But, he'll want a little brother or sister sometime in the future. And when we decide to have another baby, I know he'll be watching and looking out for his sibling from up above. He won't let what happened to him, happen to our next baby.

I just know it.

A/N: HI! This is something I typed up real quick, unedited. Also, this is the last chapter before the epilogue. After, I am going to give you a sneak peek of what my next work will be. After 20 rough drafts - not kidding - I decided on one to continue. Love you guys. XOXO Taylor