5th October 2014

Warning: Grammar errors, Spoilers, Out of Characters, Original Character and Alternate Reality.

Disclaimer: Katekyou Hitman Reborn belongs to Akira Amano, but this fanfiction belongs to me.

Summary: When Tsuna and the others were resting after the battle with Byakuran to save the future, they found out a secret Tsuna has been keeping from them, his childhood love story.

Hi everybody, this is chapter 11 of this story. Thank you for the review for the previous chapter. I hope you like this chapter.

"In this life we have to make many choices. Some are very important choices. Some are not. Many of our choices are between good and evil. The choices we make, however, determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of our choices. Making perfect choices all of the time is not possible. It just doesn't happen. But it is possible to make good choices we can live with and grow from."
James E. Faust

Previous Chapter. Hopeless Case.

"If my guardians can find her, then I will think over my decision. And no one can help them secretly or indirectly."

Gokudera closed his eyes in frustration.

Yamamoto and Ryouhei looked at him for confirmation, since they did not have a good memory.

"Gokudera? Tsuna will change his mind right?" Yamamoto asked sadly, although he already knew the answer from Gokudera's expression.

"I don't EXTREMELY understand. Sawada will never lie about a deal."

Gokudera did not give them any responses.

"No, Boss didn't lie to us." Chrome told them with tears in her eyes. "But, Boss didn't say he will change his mind either.

Chapter 11. Painful Realization.

Natsume was looking at her 4 guests. It had been a while since she got a guest because she was not exactly a sociable person. She might act cold and indifferent, but that was not her real self. In her entire life, besides her family, only one person really knows her real self and that was her first friend, Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Ever since she became friend with him, she felt whole and complete. That was why she never interested to make any more friends, which was why she acted cold and indifferent to other people.

Before she became friend with him, she was uninterested with other people, preferring to read storybooks as a past time. But, despite her lack of interest to make friend, she was aware of the importance of social standing. So, she made sure that she had a good social standing, by being friendly and having average grades, except English.

Just like every child, she was unaware of the world outside of the description she read in her storybooks. The books told her everything about the world, the good and the bad. She did not like most of the description she read in the books, but she kept reading it because of her childish curiosity.

Naturally, she became knowledgeable about the world more than most children her age, but she was not aware of this. Because, she thought everything she read were just a story, a fiction, which she defined as not real. She did not believe what she read. She only read to satisfy her curiosity, that was all. So, just like every child, her naivety and innocence protected her from the real world.

And just like every child, she will lose that innocence someday. But, unlike most children, she lost it much sooner. She lost it when she witnessed the cruelty committed by children.

Bullying was a common thing. Most children would have dismissed it instantly. But, not her, because when she saw it she was reminded of many stories that described the repercussion that usually ends with sadness, she was stunned with disbelief that this was really happening outside of her storybooks.

That day, when she saw some of her classmates bullying another of her classmate, destroyed her innocence and her reality. She began questioning herself and unsure of what to believe. The more she saw that cruelty the more she was sure that there was a glimpse of reality in her storybooks. She became aware of how ugly the world was in reality and her body trembled in fear at that. She could only mourn in helplessness from her discovery.

But, that day she also saw something else. She saw Sawada Tsunayoshi, the first victim of bullying she witnessed. She knows him. She was aware of his existence and lack of social standing, but never interacted with him.

Ever since that day, she became aware that he got bullied constantly, and for the first time she became worried about someone else, besides her family. She knew what he needs but she was not sure she could give it to him. She knew what Sawada Tsunayoshi needed, it was a friend. But, the real question was, could she gave her friendship to him? In the end, she decided to observe him, because she did not want to give her friendship to him because of pity.

Sawada Tsunayoshi was a pathetic boy that did not possess even average academic or athletic skills. But, he managed to capture her interest, because despite the misfortunes that constantly happened to him he remained the same.

He did not retaliate which disappointed her, but he did not break either. It was admirable in her eyes. Not to mention he was very kind and had a very bright smile. So, that day she made the most important choice in her life. She decided to become a friend of Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Becoming his friend was a whole new experience for her. Just by being on his side, she became aware of many things she did not know before. She became aware of bullies, she became aware of cruelty, she became aware of neglects and she became aware of unfairness.

But, despite all that, she did not regret her decision, because he also showed her kindness and forgiveness. His action reassured her that there was still some good in this world. And, for the first time, she felt happy instead of content.

But, then, in her happiness, she forgot the repercussion to her own self. She forgot one thing that she used to deem important, her social standing. Because of her friendship with him, she lost her good reputation and began to get bully with him too.

She did not really mind it, but he felt guilty and blamed himself for it. She tried to reason with him but to no avail. In the end, they parted way in anger. That day was the last time they saw and talk to each other and on that day he made a promise, a promise that she is still waiting for.

But, sometimes she wondered, will he fulfil that promise, because right now, while she was looking at the sad face of his friends, she doubts it very much. They presences also made her realize that he might never fulfil that promise. If that is the case, then she could understand perfectly and would not think badly of him for that. But, that did not mean she likes it.

Then, why does she keep waiting? He already has plenty of friends. He obviously does not need the friendship they shared anymore. She is unneeded.

{K~H~R}

Gokudera was a hot-headed. Everyone who knows him knows that, which was due to his tragic childhood. He was one of many unfortunate children, who suffered because of the rules of the mafia, which robbed him the chance of having a mother. It was understandable that he was full of unexpressed anger.

His anger made him hate everyone, excluding some people he has a grudging respect for. And, of course, it made him hated and unwanted, with this kind of attitude he definitely would not survive long in the mafia.

Gokudera knows this, which was why he is grateful to meet Vongola Juudaime. Because, Juudaime accepts him, so in return, he will do anything for him, not only as a right-hand man but also as a friend.

Natsume Shirayuri is an enigma, and he did not like her initially for making Juudaima sad. But, during their conversation, he could not help but has a grudging respect for her and complimenting his boss for his choice for a lover.

After he pulled himself from his depression, he looked at her. He was stunned when he saw her expression. Her expression was full of sadness and loneliness, the same emotions he used to have, but did not want to admit.

It was very surprising because she never showed that kind of expression to them before. Not even he could saw a glimpse of it. But, right now, he could see it as clear as the day. And, it made him realized that Juudaime is not the only one suffering. She is suffering too.

For a moment, he saw his mother in her place. His mother, who loved him and only wanted the best for him, and he realized that Natsume Shirayuri is just like his mother, she also only wants the best for Juudaime.

Gokudera looked at the other guardians, the Baseball Idiot and the Turf Top did not seem to saw the expression in her face. But, when he looked at Dokuro, he saw Dokuro is also looking at her with tears in her eyes.

He closed his eyes and sighed. For the first time since their investigation of Byakka, he felt tired. Also, surprisingly, he did not feel any anger in himself anymore.

Suddenly, he heard a soft gasp from Dokuro. That sound snapped the others 2 idiots out from their depression. Gokudera looked at Dokuro questioningly, but he saw her looking at Juudaime's lover.

When he turned his eyes to look at Juudaime's lover. He could not help but gasp in horror. She had a blank look and tears were pouring down from her eyes, and she did not seem to notice it. He loathed admitting that it scared him. She looked like her soul was leaving her body.

{K~H~R}

"Natsume-san!" Chrome shouted in panic.

Natsume gasped and blinked her eyes. She closed her eyes and cleaned the tears away with her palms. She bit her lip to prevent any sound from escaping.

"Just like future Juudaime said in the letter, she preferred to cry in silence." Gokudera thought.

"Are you all right, Natsume-san?" Chrome said.

"I am fine." She chuckled hollowly.

The sound sent a chill to their spines. "Stop it!" Gokudera snapped at her.

But, her chuckled turned to laughter then she guffawed hysterically, while some tears fell from her eyes again. No one in that room was fool enough to think she is laughing. They know she is crying.

Gokudera gritted his teeth in anger. He was angry that this girl was hiding her obvious sadness, and he was angry that he could not do anything about it. In his frustration, he slammed his hands to the table. Thankfully, none of the teas was spilt.

She stopped laughing slowly and cleaned away her tears. She looked at them with a hollow smile. They could tell it was a fake smile.

"I am sorry about that." She said as if she never cried or laughed hysterically. "Anyway, you must be busy. You don't have to waste your time here. It's a pity you didn't taste the tea I prepared. But, oh well. It's okay. I will walk you to the door."

She stood up from her chair. But, none of the guardians moved from their spot.

She raised her eyebrows in confusion. "What are you waiting for?"

Gokudera clenched his fists and tried to calm himself. He reached for his teacup and drank it. The other guardians decided to copy him and did the same with their teacups.

"Did you say it from France? The tea I mean." Gokudera asked lightly. "It's not bad."

The other guardians looked at him with a confused face. Gokudera almost never acted this calm, while Natsume was looking at Gokudera intently.

"Yes, I did say that," Natsume replied. "Are you ready to go?"

Gokudera knows she was trying to kick them out, but he would not let that happen. After all, this conversation was not over yet.

"Don't worry about us, we have much time to spare," Gokudera said, inwardly he was glad none of the guardians interrupted or disagreed with him.

"Oh, fine. But, I have something else to do." Natsume said firmly. "Could you please leave?"

Gokudera stood up and walked to her until he was standing in front of her. He raised his eyebrows mockingly.

"Why? So, you could cry in secret?" He said with unimpressed tone. "Besides, our conversation isn't over yet, until I say otherwise."

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please be kind to me and review it. Thank you for reading this fan fiction.

Marmora F. An Nora