Da Razor Show
Chapter Ten
Neo; (gets up, sees that everyone is gone) the hell?
Razor: (walks in with a hog-tied Sonic on his shoulder) fastest thing alive my ass
Neo: where is everyone?
Razor: since you passed out, and you're the only one who can keep everyone here, everyone bolted the second you hit the floor
Neo; even Blaze?
Razor: no, she stayed to check if you were okay, the others dragged her out
Neo: eh, you can get the rest
Razor: great, it's a fucking rodeo
Neo: enjoy
Razor: dick
Later zat evening...
French Dude: zere, now can I go home?
Neo: whatever, I don't care
Blaze: why is everyone still tied up?
Neo: I'm too lazy to untie them
Blaze: but you're never too lazy for me are you?
Neo; you're my goddess, of course not
Razor: (walks in, drops Silver on his face)
Silver: ow, well at least I don't still have that dick on my head
Neo: I would give you that but it seems wrong while DoomWraith isn't here, now let's get started
Shadow; (gagged) mmmf
Neo; shut up Shadow
shadow: fight razor WITH OUT YOUR POWER OR WEPONS!
razor: see shadow's dare
amy:fuck blaze
blaze: get killed 1,000 times in a 1,000 different ways
Neo: -chains him to wall and seals his power's- you have to watch each of
blaze's deaths you get you r powers back when her dare's over
sonic: you have to kill blaze
tails: free pot, beer and a dare pass that can be used at any time you want
but only work's once use it and some one else while do the dare coughalexcough
sally: fight Neo from matrix, Orochimaru from naruto and batman from batman:
arkum asylum
charmy: get murdered by spike
knukles: get butt fucked by chaos(the water one not the oc from earlier)
jet: eggman must die! you decide how and it can be anything you want
cream: change your name to princess conswala banna-hammok
Cosmo: -gives you a cup of water- here work it out for your self
Shadow: mmmf?
Razor: eh I got time
Shadow: (untied) excellent (punches Razor in the face)
Razor; AH! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!
Shadow; that's what I was going for
Razor: (kicks Shadow in the nuts)
Shadow: cheap shot (falls to the ground)
Amy: I think this is actually one of my first lesbian dares
Neo; Blaze is not a lesbian!
Blaze: you just hope I'm bisexual don't you?
Neo: perhaps
Amy: let's get this over with (takes Blaze to the closet)
Knuckles & Mighty: (holding Neo back)
Neo: an author should have more power than three of you two combined!
Knuckles: what?
Closet: (screaming, Amy: the fuck?)
Everyone; (raised eyebrow)
Sonic: did Blaze just orgasm herself to death?
One death! Ah-ah-ah!
Neo: if you keep doing that I will tear your teeth out and beat you to death with them
Count: Three, three death threats from the author! Ah-ah-ah!
Neo: (does just as he said)
Count: one, one life flashing before my eyes, ah-ah-ack! (dies...again)
Blaze: (comes back to life) what happened?
Sonic: you died, the first of a thousand
Blaze: but that's nine hundred and ninety-one more than I can have
Razor: haven't you died several times during the course of this show?
Blaze: I don't think so, I'll need to think about it
Neo; NO!
Blaze: (thinks herself to death)
Two! Two deaths! Ah-ah-ah!
Neo; I thought I killed you...again
Count: Two, two times you have killed me, ah-ah-ah
Neo: (dunks the Count in Holy Water)
Count: AGH! (burns up and dies)
Razor: you're dealing with this pretty well, you don't even need to be chained to the wall
Neo: it makes it easier when I have something else to kill, plus the fact that I know she's going to come back
Blaze: (comes back) did I die again?
Neo; see?
Razor: yup
Spike: (floats past) I'm in space!
Neo; no you're... (looks out a window) since when we were on the moon?
Wheatley: (floats by outside) hey, you, the fox, you mind pulling me in there? I seem to be a bit stuck out here, in space
Corrupted Core: We're in space!
Wheatley; yes I know we're in space!
Core: we're in space
Wheatley: you don't have to pull him in you know
Core: space, space, it's so nice out here in space~
Neo: ...spoiler alert
Razor: wow, the space-lover is in space, how fitting
Neo: shut up Razor
Wheatley: umm, cat? It probably would have been better if you had pulled me in without actually coming out here
Neo; FUCK!
Blaze: (suffocating in space)
Neo; I need to kill something
Wheatley: on second thought, don't bring me in, not entirely pleasant being killed you know
Everyone except Neo: we know
Wheatley: oh, bye then, maybe there's some other nice folks who don't mind saving me
Core: spa~ace
Wheatley: shut up about space!
Core: but we're in space
Wheatley: there are other things to talk about you know, like the stars
Core: stars are in space
Wheatley; UGH! You are really getting on my nerves you know
Razor: nerves of steel my ass
Wheatley: shut up
Blaze: (comes back) how'd I get out there?
Sonic; really? (smirks evilly)
Neo; (watches Sonic) eye for an eye you know
Sonic: you've given me an idea
Spike; heheh, eye-dea
Everyone; shut up Spike
Spike: wouldn't it be easier to say touche?
Neo; idiot
Sonic: (while Neo isn't looking, quickly stabs Blaze through the eye)
Blaze: AH! I'M STILL ALIVE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
Sonic: (stabs Blaze through the other eye)
Blaze: STILL ALIVE!
Sonic: (continually stabs Blaze)
Blaze: HOW AM I NOT DEAD YET! (dies)
Sonic: that was an ordeal
Neo: (tackles Sonic, starts stabbing him)
Sonic: OW! FUCK! WHAT THE HELL! OW! IT WAS A DARE! OW!
Shadow: so that's four times Blaze has died
Corpse: ah-ah-ah!
Shadow: shut up
Tails: AWESOME! (takes pot, beer, Cosmo, Cream and Marine to back-room)
Alex: no
Neo: you can't refuse a dare
Alex: no, I am not having a sex change to be the same sex and doing it with a dude, I am also not going to become a lesbian for however long just so some freaks can fap at their computers and cover the screen with semen so they can't even see the review button
Neo: so you have the best interests of the story at heart?
Alex: no, I just barely ever get dared and I love watching all these idiots get tortured
Neo; you're going to start getting more dare snow you know
Alex: I'll believe that when I see it
Sally: um, okay? (neck cracked)
Neo; NOT BIG ENOUGH!
Sally: (revived, sees Neo(M) Orochimaru and Batman) I can understand why I should fear Neo and Batman, but who's this chick?
Neo: dude, I thought he was a girl at first too
Sally: what can he do?
Orochimaru: (pulls his sword out of his snake tongue thing)
Sally: that's weird
Neo(M) Batman and Orochimaru: (tackle Sally into comical dust cloud)
Blaze: (trips into dust cloud)
Neo; FUCKING HELL!
Shadow: five
Spike: oh yeah, this, this thing right here, this is gonna be fun
Charmy: I should be afraid shouldn't I?
Spike: (hefts giant plasma-chaingun) oh yeah
Charmy; SAVE ME! (flies away)
Spike; DIE FLY DIE! (fires his plasma-chaingun)
Charmy; (disintegrated)
Neo: how anticlimactic
Knuckles: whatever, he's made of water, it'll just be like an enema
Neo: too much information
Chaos: gurgle? (absorbs the Chaos Emeralds)
Knuckles: a very big enema
Perfect Chaos: gurgle (takes Knuckles off)
Screams are heard
Neo; okay?
Jet: YES! He can eat himself to death
Neo: eat himself or eat until he dies?
Jet: the second one
Neo: eat up fatty
Eggman; with pleasure (eats Jet)
Jet: THIS WORKED BETTER IN MY HEAD!
Eggman: (starts to eat more)
Neo; quick everyone! Look like healthy food! (turns into a carrot)
Sonic: (curls up to look like a blueberry)
Shadow: (pulls out a shotgun)
Blaze: umm (eaten)
Neo; FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!
Razor: his curses seem to be getting more violent
Shadow: that's six
Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock: what? Oh crap
Cosmo: (holding cup of water) uhh (inspects water) umm (tips water on self) uhm (instantly grows seventy feet) HOLY SHIT!
Blaze: (crushed under one of Cosmo's roots)
Neo; FUCKING MOTHER SHIT FUCKER!
Razor: imagine his curses at the end of this
Shadow: seven
shadow: .now
sonic: die even more painfully than sally did
espio: head of a ninja order fighting to keep peace in the multiverse
sally: fight Kratos, Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan with feather boa
(she has to fight them one at a time)
big: do amy in front of everyone
cream: -pulls out a revolver and katana- DIE! -jumps at her-
Razor: another one?
Shadow: sweet
Neo: (being held back by Knuckles and Mighty again)
Shadow: (takes the newly revived Blaze to the closet)
Neo: no no no no
Razor: what?
Neo; I can see it, so she's gonna die in some way
Closet: (Shadow: oops)
Neo: eugh, she choked to death on his semen
Shadow: (leaves the closet) it wasn't my fault
Sonic: (looks at the dust cloud) no thanks (chained to the wall)
Neo: (picks up a leech) wonder how much blood a leech could suck from your testicles
Sonic: NO!
Neo: (throws the leech into Sonic's fur)
Razor: (picks up brand) may I?
Neo; go ahead
Razor: (starts branding Sonic's ass)
Sonic: (screaming)
Neo: (drops a leech down Sonic's throat) ugh, that made even me feel sick
Spike: (sowing Sonic's legs together)
Neo: (pouring a bucket of rusty nails into Sonic's mouth)
Razor: (still branding Sonic's ass)
Neo: (starts pouring repulsion gel down Sonic's throat)
Razor: dude, that's terrible, you know what that'll do?
Neo: make the nails bounce, constantly rip the leech from Sonic's insides, make his organs tear themselves apart, other such things
Razor: well when you put it that way...
Espio: very well, I am willing to join you
Sally: (not exactly...right) ow...
Neo; ouch (heals Sally)
Sally: why are people so mean to me?
Neo: guess they hate- where'd you go?
Kratos: (cleaning the blood and guts from his blades)
Neo; hey Kratos
Kratos: (looks at Neo, walks off)
Neo; rude (dodges Kratos' blades)
Sally: (revived) ow
Chuck Norris: (roundhouse kicks Sally into the wall, continues beating the crap out of her)
Sally: (bleeding out)
Neo; (revives Sally)
Sally: ow... (head knocked off)
Bruce Lee: (standing five feet away from Sally's headless body)
Jet: AH BRUCE LEE! (hides behind Shadow)
Sally: (revived) why does this keep happening?
Jackie Chan: (flies out of nowhere and starts to kung-fu Sally into the ground)
Sally: (badly beaten) he's not as tough as the others
Neo; Bruce
Bruce lee: (side-kicks Sally into oblivion)
Big: what does do mean?
Neo; sex
Big: oh no, I couldn't
Neo: yes you could, and you will
Big: why?
Neo: because Amy thinks you're hotter than Sonic
Sonic: (insides tearing themselves apart, rusty nails sticking out of his face, coughing blood) (groans in pain)
Big: yay, I love you too Amy
Amy: huh? (tackled by Big) AHH!
Neo: I can't tell if she's screaming from the weight or from the rape
Razor: umm, Neo, Blaze got some of the repulsion gel
Neo: FFFFFUUUUU-
Later...
Razor: THAT'S NOT CREAM!
Blaze: why am I a rabbit? Oh shit
Neo: DICK FUCKING SHIT WHORE MOTHER-
Razor: (gags Neo)
Neo: (glaring)
Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock: (hiding in a bin) please don't find me
Fox: (finds Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock)
Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock; AHH!
Fox: (attacks Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock)
Razor: straight to the point
Shadow: so, that's nine hundred and ninety-nine deaths for Blaze, what will the last one be?
Spike: childbirth?
Razor: only Neo can make it happen that fast
Blaze: (hiding in the corner)
Razor: I know (covers Blaze and the walls in propulsion gel, puts a portal above and below Blaze)
Blaze: uh oh (falls through the portals extremely fast and picking up speed)
Spike: I think she merged with her after-image
Razor: (fires portal at wall)
Blaze: (flies out of portal, extremely stretched out)
Spike: (pokes Blaze)
Blaze: (turns into a pile of goo)
Spike: wasn't me
Razor: huh, death by speed turns you into goo
Neo: (crying)
Razor: man up
Neo: (glares)
Razor: (explodes)
Entire studio: (starts falling apart)
Core: space?
Wheatley: yes, there's about to be a bit more space
Core: space is so big, what's your favourite thing about space?
Wheatley: it used to be the solitude
Core: mine's space
Not cancelled this time