A/N: I told you Part Two was soon to follow!
Dedicated to AkatsukiWings, :) thanks!
& WOW your name is hard to spell :P

Hey I'd just like to say that some of these words I use, you won't find in a dictionary or anything, because they're really outdated, and obviously no-one uses them anymore :)

Guess what, guys!?! I have plans for upcoming chapters! :O Usually I just go with whatever (why d'you think this is so random?) but I actually have ideas for the next like four chapters! I'm amazed.

OH! AND THIS IS IN LILY'S POV! Dude, I almost forgot :S

Okay, enough of me, go read! *makes shooing motions*

Chapter Eleven – Hookum-snivey

(a con, deceit, or fakery)

The Pranking of One Lucius Abraxis Malfoy
…Part Two…

It all started with a hex.

Well no, in reality it probably either started with a very innocent couple covering themselves with leaves or bacteria growing arms. But you know how humans tend to oversimplify things.

But for this … thing … it all started with a hex. By one Lucius Abraxis Malfoy. God, I hate him, I really do.

Do you know what he's done to me? Everything, that's what. He's hexed me, insulted me, leered at me, spread rumors about me, tried to get Severus to hate me, and actually tried to destroy my Transfiguration notes. I mean, I can see everything else, but the notes? Really?

I probably shouldn't have told Potter about it. The hex. But I was in a furious rage at the time, you know, I probably would have told him anything.

So now here I am, under Potter's invisibility cloak, pretending to be drugged into a nice dreamless sleep. How do I get myself into these situations?

Not many people know, actually, that Dreamless Sleep potion cannot be mixed with other substances. Any other substances. There's a very precise balance of ingredients in it, and adding anything else will not go over well. Which is why my boobs are aching and I'm feeling more alert than ever. Who knows what was in that tea.

I can't believe I took food from a Marauder. Did I learn nothing from the Great Food Fiasco of '74? Apparently not. But it was Remus! Remus the prefect. The should-have-been-Head-Boy!

I repress a sigh. The Marauders can't hear me or they'll drug me properly. Or stutter and apologize and wince and offer to shine my shoes. I'm not taking my chances.

James had been trying to get me to drink the tea – in a blatantly obvious way, now that I think about it, which is quite embarrassing indeed – when he suddenly just zoned out. I don't know what he was thinking about, and I really don't think I want to, to be perfectly honest. But apparently Remus and Sirius were fed up of James' beating around the bush. Or so they said once they thought I'd been drugged. If they call that beating around the bush…

"Lily you should drink your tea," Sirius had said to me, and Remus took a great gulp out of his own cup. I was still a little dazed from Potter's sudden retreat to his happy place, and not suspecting anything, of course, so I just downed the whole thing. And it was pretty cold by then, which was rather disgusting.

Then my boobs started aching and I wanted to feel them – doesn't that sound odd – but Sirius was right there, and who knows what he would have done. I began suspecting that I'd been drugged when my senses became nearly hyperactive. The fly buzzing around the room actually became a major annoyance.

Buzzz … Buzzzzzz …. Buzzzzzzzzzz … BUZZZZZZZZZZ!

And then I noticed that my shoe was untied part way.

I love my shoes. They're Muggle Converse, and I haven't seen a single other person in the school with them. Actually, I'm pretty sure that we're supposed to wear our regulation boring old school shoes, but I'd risk breaking a rule for my wonderful Converse. I charmed moving swirls of colour onto them. I can't wear them in Muggleland, of course, but it's still worth it. Petunia was so jealous. And freaked out, a little bit, but that's always nice to see. Until she starts throwing things.

Where was I? Oh, my shoe. So I noticed that one of the laces was loose and for some reason that just bugged me and bugged me and I couldn't get it out of my head. So I leaned down to untie it and apparently both Remus and Sirius assumed that I'd fallen asleep, just like that.

"Yes!" Sirius had said excitedly. "The Dreamless Sleep worked!"

I could give him some lessons on not confessing to the crime.

Partly thanks to my overactive mind, I quickly realized that I had two choices. Sit up and give them the old "wtf?" or pretend to stay asleep and eavesdrop on them, thus gaining hopefully spectacular blackmail material. It wasn't that hard of a decision to make, really.

"I'll get Peter," Remus had nodded – I think – and marched out of the room.

Sirius had started conjuring a stretcher and I took this opportunity to slump a little more comfortably over my legs. This was getting kind of awkward. Especially with my stupid tender chest! When did my legs get so hard?

"What's wrong with James?" Peter had asked and I assumed Ja- Potter was still staring off into nothing. Merlin that boy is odd.

"Who knows?" Remus grunted. "James. James! James!" he huffed.

"What?" Potter had snapped, sounding all put out.

Pff. Sure. He's got a right to get put out. Not me, the drugged-asleep girl. Thank you, universe.

"She's asleep now – no thanks to you, might I add – now get the cloak!" Sirius hissed.

"Lily's asleep?" He had sounded utterly bewildered.

"Yes," Peter had groaned.

"Peter?"

"For Merlin's sake, Prongs, get your damned cloak!" Remus snarled.

"Touchy little werewolf," he had grumbled, walking into our bedroom.

If I hadn't already known about the werewolf thing, that would have come as a huge surprise.

"James for Merlin's sake, get the cloak!" Sirius had nearly wept. Apparently he'd gone back into his odd little daydreaming mode.

"Sorry," he called back.

Cloak? The cloak? This is sounding ominous. I'd better be ready to jump up and run for my life. Or other various things I'd be willing to break this charade for. Say, my hair, my soul, my shoes … in that order.

"Right, let's get her onto the stretcher," Remus had said.

I was starting to feel quite pissed off.

First, they drugged me. Let's start with the most obvious. That's bound to make any rational human being a tad annoyed. Second, James just walked past me, while I was all slumped over, and he didn't even care! And he's supposed to like me. Hah. Third, my breasts are killing me! Holy Merlin, what was in that crap!?

Oh and then there is the fact that I am being forcibly manhandled onto a levitating stretcher by three hormonal eighteen-year-old boys. Yes, yes that is my arse, Peter, thank you for noticing. You smell like cheese.

They dumped me onto the stretcher – owww, gah! – and proceeded to be so annoying that I thought I might just jump up and smack them, forgetting about my brilliant blackmail idea. It took all of my power to continue to lie there with my face all nicely relaxed.

"Eight minutes and twelve seconds, eight minutes and twenty three sec- oh. You're done. Finally."

Thank God! You've saved my from a fate worse than death, Potter, even if you did get me into it in the first place.

"It's a shame to cover her up," he had sighed.

Oh I am going to kill him! It's a shame to cover me up? What, he's only sorry about that? He doesn't feel at all bad about drugging me!? He will die!

"Yeah, yeah," Remus had said and I found a cloak that smelled of boy draped over my face. "You can fantasize later."

Hmm. That's simultaneously hot and disturbing. I think I'll just try not to think about it. Instead I'll focus on this cloak that's draped over me. I really want to open my eyes … Maybe if I squint?

"Agreed, mate. It's time to prank!"

Oh Sirius. You sound ridiculous. I hope you look back on this one day and blush.

"Let's go, let's go!" Potter had … squealed. Nice.

He had grabbed my stretcher, pushing it somewhere and I suddenly found Sirius' crotch in my face. Great, thanks Potter. Just what I wanted.

"Merlin, Prongs," Sirius had said and his pants, and other bits, were removed from my face.

Which is when I noticed that I could see. At first, I'm not too ashamed to admit, I freaked. Until I realized that no one was paying the least amount of attention to me. Which is when I got the whole invisibility concept.

I mulled that over as I was levitated through the Gryffindor common room, past the Fat Lady, and down several flights of stairs.

I'd read about invisibility cloaks, but I hadn't thought someone in Hogwarts would have one. They're supposed to be really rare. And the few that are out there aren't really up to being mauled around in a careless Seventh Year's trunk.

But I couldn't concentrate and wonder why we were going down to the dungeons at the same time, could I? No, definitely not. Especially as we went through at least half a dozen passageways that I didn't even know existed.

"-Can't wait to see the look on Malfoy's face."

I only caught the last part of the sentence, absorbed as I was in remembering where each of the passageways were for future use. What? Malfoy? And then I remembered the hex he'd tried to use on me back when this whole mess started. Only two days ago, surprisingly. Well three, soon, because it really is quite late.

So here I am, under Potter's invisibility cloak, pretending to be drugged into a nice dreamless sleep. Again, I ask, how do I get myself into these situations? I may never know.

We stopped at a perfectly blank stretch of wall, but it seemed to mean something to it – as I will now be calling The Prat – because he stopped and snickered.

"Right," it said eagerly. "You know what to do."

They did, I will grudgingly admit in the relative privacy of my own mind.

Peter grabbed a piece of parchment and started scanning it, unfolding flaps and squinting in odd places. I thought he was going loony for a second, but Sirius patted him on the back and told him to keep an eye out, and I was forced to rethink my previous assumption.

Remus carefully got a potion in a large, clear flask out of their bag and started performing numerous spells on it. One levitated the liquid out of the flask and into the air above a certain stretch of wall. Then he tied the liquid in place by some pretty complex anchoring spells. And then he started incanting … things. And I have no idea what they do! Which is very rare for me, not going to lie.

Sirius and it went to either side of the liquid and started waving their wands around. Unfortunately, I have no idea what they said. I was more distracted by Peters comment:

"Guys … guys, hurry up, Sluggy's coming on the corridor side, we have two minutes, tops."

Okay. Okaaay. Don't freak out, Lily. Don't freak out…

I'M FREAKING OUT!

Sluggy as in Slughorn? As in Professor Slughorn?

We're going to die, we're going to die a slow and painful death of mortification, because he knows I'm supposed to be tied to James, so the whole invisible stretcher thing will come out, and then the whole Lily's-not-really-asleep thing will come out and then I'll die a slowandpainfuldeathofmortification!

"Okay, we're done, let's go," Ja- it said, quickly grabbing my stretcher. After feeling around with his hands stretched out at waist level like a blind lunatic. Which was pretty funny to see, even from within my panicked thoughts.

I was pushed out of the hallway, just as we heard Slughorn coming with his heavy, clomping footsteps and his slightly wheezing voice.

"I've got your toad…" floated down the corridor toward us, spectacularly out of tune. "And I'll have it … 'till you're ooold…"

I hate you, Potter, I mouthed up at his unsuspecting head. And I hate that I like you.

Damn hormones.

A/N: You make me haaappy, when skys are greyyyy (if you review), you'll never know deeear, how much I looove you (when you review), please don't taaake, my suuunshine (reviews) awaaaayyy.... *bows*