I don't know what happened... But I'm back.
"You just wouldn't believe how much mess he makes. He threw a fit bigger than Luca last week because I hadn't ironed his shirt. Ex-fucking-cuse me, but I'll be fucked if I'm spending my days off doing fucking ironing." I blink at her for a minute, not entirely sure what to say, or if she even wants me to say anything. "And the cleaning! He does fuck all. He comes in from work and will bitch and moan about dirty plates, fucking do something about it then. Fuck sake."
"You finished?" I ask, fingering a soft cotton t-shirt that would look amazing on Paige. I turn and raise a brow at my blonde friend who is currently running a hand through her beautifully messy hair and letting out a deep, frustrated sigh.
"Almost." She takes a breath, "He never cooks either, not really. I make his lunch every day. Every fucking day it's ready for him to take to work. Yet, I come home late and find he's sat and watched the game or done something else that's non-productive. He's such a lazy cu- Ohh! That would look so hot on him." She stops, distracted by a leather jacket that she picks up for further inspection. I try not to laugh, just in case she goes back on a rant. I do take a moment to just praise the lord that Paige and I never have these types of issues. Paige usually makes both of our lunches for the next day while I do a little tidying, we'd fallen into the routine a long time ago and never really stopped.
"Despite you being crazy hormonal at the minute, how are you two?" I ask, anyone else might have been disembowelled and hung by Hanna for bringing up her mood swings, which she is adamant don't happen like clockwork every month, but thankfully I've known her so long I can get away with it.
"We're better. We talked," She takes in a deep breath, "I cried, we fought, we had sex, we talked some more. But now we're fine." She gives me a genuine smile that I can't help but mirror.
"Good." I say sincerely. Hanna and Caleb were such relationship goals for me, they are always so supportive of each other and even though Hanna is batshit crazy, Caleb stood by her and just finds her craziness endearing.
"How're you and Paige?"
"We're ok. We've been fighting a lot recently though. Just with trying to get pregnant and us both working ourselves into the ground. It's hard, you know?" She nods understandingly. "I miss her like crazy when she's not here."
"You just need to have a good fuck." I freeze, why Hanna thinks it's appropriate to say things like that in the middle of the mall is beyond me. I can't say I'm not envious of her boldness though. I don't comment, secretly thinking she is probably right, it feels like the last few times we have it's just been us having sex, we weren't making love but we weren't trying to fuck each others brains out either. I eye her for a minute, but she doesn't even flicker under my penetrating gaze. I settle for an eye roll instead. "You know I'm right." She smiles victoriously.
"So what if you are," I whisper harshly, giving her a shove.
"Any marriage without an active and fulfilling sex life is doomed." She tells me like she's a sexpert from a rag mag. "You should get some new toys." She turns to me, her blue eyes bright with excitement.
"No." I tell her bluntly, if there's one thing I refuse to talk about with her, it's this, and definitely not in the middle of the fucking mall.
She clucks her tongue and groans, "Fine. At least get her some sexy underwear then. Poor girl." I stare at her, "What?" She shrugs, "I'd be so bummed if my hot wife was a prude."
"I am not!" She raises a challenging brow, "Fine! I'll buy… something." I huff, slightly annoyed and excited. I'll admit it does set my mind racing, am I boring in bed? Maybe I'm not assertive enough, maybe we do need more toys or handcuffs or something. The whole thing makes me a little squeamish, I'm far too awkward for my own good, maybe having Hanna encourage this isn't the worst thing that could happen. It's one thing for me to act that way with Paige in the privacy of our home, but quite another to discuss it openly with my friend in the middle of the mall on a Saturday afternoon.
Hanna drags me into the raunchiest shop in the mall and begins thrusting underwear at me in typical Hanna Marin reckless, excited, abandon. I'm slightly overwhelmed, but I try my best to keep my calm. "This would look so hot! Go try it on!" She beams proudly, shoving a dark blue lace something or other into my chest. I hold it out to take a look at it, it constitutes of next to no material whatsoever. The top half consists of maybe a third of the bra cups, I push it back into her hands immediately, giving her a hard stare that leaves no room for argument.
"Paige isn't into that kind of thing." I turn away.
"Emily," Hanna scoffs, "I'd be into that kind of thing, so you can damn guarantee Paige will be." I ignore her, "I'll just keep hold of it, in case you change your mind…" I say no to a lot of the things Hanna shoves at me until she finally mumbles, "Maybe we should have had a few drinks before we came in here…"
I raise a questioning brow at her, "I just mean you're a lot more sexually confident when you're drunk." She shrugs, grabbing a whip and testing it in her palm. She turns to me and draws it slowly down the line of my neck and down the front of my chest, "Paige and I both know you like it rough, Em. Here," She throws the whip my way, I catch it clumsily.
I swallow and dip my head, attempting to hide my burning cheeks, "How do you even know that?" I ask incredulously, my head snapping up.
"You'd be surprised what you admit when you're drunk." She laughs, "Oh, and Paige told me. Maybe you don't like to talk about your sex life, but Paige has really come into her own since leaving high school." She smirks. I'm not sure how, and believe me I'm not unhappy about it, but somehow Paige has gotten closer to my friends than I am sometimes.
"I can't believe she told you that." I shake my head, meaning to have words with my wife. "What else has she told you?"
"Oh, wouldn't you like to know." Another sly smirk graces Hanna's face and she turns away, seemingly ending the conversation. I hit her with the whip and she lets out a cry of pain, turning back with her hands up in submission. "Fine, all I'm saying is chicken arrabiata." I mutter under my breath while Hanna simply wiggles her brows at me, "Emily Fields…" She shakes her head coquettishly. "I'd love to take back calling you a prude, but one swallow does not a summer make."
My eyes narrow, sceptically, "Was that," I take a look around before returning to her, "Was that Aristotle?" Hanna looks bemused, like she doesn't even know who that is, or what she's just said, simply shrugs and turns her attention back to the latex playsuit that caught her eye before.
I end up leaving with a deep purple lace playsuit that has a deep v all the way to below my belly button. It shows enough skin, but also leaves something to be desired. I sneak a photo when I try it on, admittedly it does look really hot against my dark skin. Despite Hanna's insistence, I stay well clear of toys etc. determined to keep at least some of my sex life a secret from her. Hanna buys an array of saucy underwear that leave nothing whatsoever to the imagination and divulges entirely too much information into what she and Caleb get up to after Luca's bedtime story.
I feel like I've been at the mall forever, it's around three when we're sat down having a coffee, I feel the much needed caffeine ignite something in my bones. The fizzle, a low buzz. I text Paige to see how her day is going and before I can convince myself to do otherwise, I attach the photo I'd taken in the changing rooms, asking if she liked what I'd bought.
There aren't many shops we haven't been in by the time Hanna has gotten everything she needs from the mall. My feet feel numb and I'm fairly certain I've done swimming practices that have been less gruelling and completely exhausting, but I've had a really good time, as I always do when I hang out with Hanna. She has this way of lightning the mood without even doing anything, I think it's something to do with her aura, at least that's what Aria would suggest. I forget for a while why I'm upset, that is until Hanna drags me into one final shop to buy presents for Luca and that topic arises again and my beautiful little bubble is burst.
"When are you going to have kids, Em? I'm so sick of being the only one who understands what it's like to clean up someone else's puke."
"No, you're not. I clean up Paige's puke all the time. Especially when she's hung over after a night out with you!" I accuse. I understand completely why Paige worries when I go out with Hanna, because Paige gets in similar messy states herself under the Marin influence. This really isn't helped by the fact that she can't really handle her drink, meaning she's always the first to be drunk, but has to continue drinking and try to keep up for no other reason than she's a McCullers and she's stubborn as fuck.
"You know what I meant." She rolls her eyes, "When are you going to have another baby stuffed in you?" I can't even be mad at how she's phrased it.
"We're taking a break for now." I answer, holding up a soft pink dress to check the size. "This would look so cute on Luca." I hang it over my arm and walk away from my friend like I'm simply looking at the girls toys. Typically though, Hanna either doesn't realise I want to drop the subject, or doesn't care.
"Why? How long are you going to wait? What does Paige think about that?"
"Hanna." I stare at her, hoping she'll take the hint, she just stares back at me awaiting an answer, "We're going to wait until we're ready again, it's really put a strain on our relationship." I admit reluctantly, finding myself getting a little bit upset at this little nugget of truth.
"But-"
"Han, stop. Please, can we not talk about it?" I plead, my lip beginning to quiver as my eyes become blurred. I see that she registers my mood now and simply nods.
"That dress is beautiful, Luca will love it." She gives me a gentle smile and a squeeze of my hand and I know this conversation isn't over, but maybe she's just saving me the indignity of crying in the middle of the mall.
You're horrible. Yet so sexy. Paige's message comes through just as we're settling into Han's car to go home. I smirk and type a quick response, You don't think I should take it back then?
Her reply is instantaneous. Don't you dare. I bite my lip, trying to hide the smile on my face so as not to make Hanna curious. Before I get the chance to reply another message pops up, I've got a break. I want you to talk dirty to me.
Paige isn't usually this brazen, but it's been a while since we were last intimate, so I guess she's a little desperate, probably not helped by that photo. I reply, not knowing how I feel about it. Really?
Yes.
I can't wait to get you home and, I wait there, knowing I can't do this with Hanna in the car, my poker face isn't that good.
And what, Em?
Do our taxes. I send and within two seconds my phone is ringing in my palm.
"It's Paige," I say to Hanna who looks at me, turning down the radio.
"Hey, baby." I smirk.
"Hey, fucking, baby? Emily." Her breathy tone tells me immediately that she's turned on and I can't help twitching a little in my seat at the thought.
"Yes, Paige?"
"I can't believe you. Where are you?"
"I'm just in the car with Hanna on our way back from the mall." I say as Hanna requests I put Paige on speakerphone.
"Baby, I'm so wet." Paige sighs just as my phone clicks onto speaker, meaning Hanna hears Paige sighing in a way only I should ever hear. A small squeak escapes unbidden from my mouth that's hanging wide open; I scramble with my phone to do something, anything.
"You're on speaker." I cringe when I realise there really isn't anything I can do to remedy this now. I chance a glance at Han and see she's trying furiously not to burst into laughter.
"I'm-WHAT! For how long? Emily!" Paige almost shouts, frantic and probably beyond embarrassed. I feel a little guilty at imagining her face and having a little chuckle to myself, but she's just so adorable when she's flustered.
"Don't worry, Paige. I'll just assume you meant from the pool." Hanna smirks.
"Yes, please do. That's honestly all I meant. Isn't it, Em? Tell her. I'd just text you saying I'd done some swimming, hadn't I?" She pleads.
"Yup. Exactly that." A small laugh escapes at my wife trying to back pedal frenetically, despite the fact that the damage is already done, and as dense as Hanna is sometimes, she's totally not buying this. I'd be worried if she had given Paige's sultry moan had echoed from the tinny speaker into the silent car, kind of like we were listening to a porno podcast.
"Oh, that's funny. Because from Emily's face I would have sworn you'd been sexting. But talking about swimming makes a lot more sense for you two." Hanna laughs. I'm caught between laughing and feeling offended.
"Please don't tell Hastings about this." Paige groans. I know Spencer and Paige love each other really. They've become best friends, but it's one of those fucked up friendships where they have to pretend they hate each other because they're both too stubborn to admit their first impressions were wrong and that they do in fact like each other. It's exhausting and I'm not even involved in it, I don't know how they keep it up.
"I can't promise that." Hanna says and I'm sure we all know Spencer will know as soon as Hanna can get her phone in her hand.
"So," I attempt to change the subject, not that things could get worse, "I got Luca a cute dress and some toys off us."
"Did you get her that talking unicorn she wanted? I told her I'd get her it." Paige says enthusiastically, probably more excited about Luca's birthday than she is.
"I did."
"You need to stop spoiling her, McCullers. Get your own kid to spoil, Jesus. You're making mine into a brat who gets everything she wants."
"Good." Paige laughs, "And as for our own kid, we'll get there, eventually." I can just see how she'd be looking at me all hopeful and kind, like she holds the world in her eyes and she'd give it to you if you only asked.
"You'll understand how annoying it is soon enough." Hanna continues, "When people," She fake coughs Paige's name here, clearly to indicate she's the person in question, as if either of us would have thought it was someone else, "buy your daughter everything she wants and she throws a tantrum at the word 'no'."
"I know, Emily is exactly the same."
"What?" I bark.
"Get everything you want, do you, Em?" Hanna raises a teasing brow, which I return with a humourless smile unable to resist rolling my eyes, too. "Clearly you'll be the tough mom. Obviously Paige doesn't get everything she wants."
"Hanna!" Paige and I reprimand together.
"Well, I think we'd better go before this gets even more inappropriate, if that's even possible." I say, eyes wide.
"Don't spoil the fun, Emily." Hanna chastises, "We all know about your sex life anyway."
"Han!" Paige shrieks now.
"Paige!" I shake my head, "Why did you tell her I like it rough?"
"Because you do?" She sounds confused and I imagine soothing the crease between her brows. "Don't you?" She says, panicked, after a moment of silence.
"Regardless. You shouldn't tell her." I sigh exasperatedly. "We'll discuss this when you're home." I say with a hint of annoyance and finality. Paige agrees sounding worried of my wrath.
"Well it's been wonderful talking to you, Paige, but you'd best go get dried off. Or alternatively you could just ring Emily back in like ten minutes, she'll be home alone by then and you can tell her all about how wet you are." Hanna gives me a cheeky grin.
"I'm going to murder you as soon as this car is in park." I growl, a hostile grin plastered on my face.
"So… Guess I'll talk to you in a little while then, Em?" Paige says cautiously, jokingly.
"Ok, that's enough from you." I can't deal with either of them, but they're both having a good laugh at my expense, I'm actually surprised how cavalier Paige is being about the whole situation. But I suppose Hanna has that air about her that makes you feel comfortable, like you can tell her anything, which Paige obviously does.
"Goodbye, Paige." Hanna laughs giving my arm a pat to show she's only messing.
"Bye, princess." I add, "Love you."
"Love you, too." I can hear the smile in her voice as she says those words with all the honesty in the world.
"What?" Hanna is looking at me, brows raised a goofy smile on her face.
She just takes in a deep breath, adjusts her hair and smiles at me like butter wouldn't melt. "You two." Is all she says before she reaches over, turns up the radio and starts to sing along to the song that's playing. It's not long after I get a text from Paige that inspires so many emotions in me that I couldn't possibly count.
Can't wait to get home and do our taxes.
I don't know what happened to this chapter, but it was just a nice little funny, fluffy break. It was nice to write, too. Sorry, again, for the immense delay!