Co-written between Bex (tumblr: kawaiipaii) and Nikki (tumblr: anywayimnikki)

AO3 link: /works/1089736/chapters/2193071

Being Hiroomi's boyfriend turned out being… well, different from what Akihito had expected.

There were the days where absolutely everything was the same as before any of this had happened; where they just quipped at each other in the club room, while Mitsuki ignored both of them; where the three of them walked home together part of the way until they said goodbye with a casual wave; where the only contact between them was Hiroomi shoving his hands under Akihito's armpits in search of some warmth.

And then there were the days that they managed to sneak away during lunch breaks to make out in the shadow under the stairs in an abandoned hallway; the days they could think of a proper excuse for Hiroomi to come back to Akihito's place and they got more done than just some kissing and petting over their clothes.

The thing about this though, was that those days they found and excuse where few and far in between – in Akihito's opinion at least. Once or twice a week was far too little to get rid of that endless frustration that seemed to keep building up over and over again.

So on the days he couldn't get it done with Hiroomi, he'd take care of things himself, panting Hiroomi's name as he got more and more adventurous in playing with himself. He wouldn't admit it to Hiroomi, but he'd actually made himself come from just fingering himself once, much to his own surprise.

But even with all those times they'd gotten off together, things had never gone further than they'd gone the night they'd officially become each other's boyfriend. Hiroomi had grabbed onto his ass a few times when Akihito had climbed into his lap during one of their long kissing sessions, but as soon as the clothes came off, those hands stayed on his front or were carefully placed somewhere above his hips.

It frustrated Akihito to no end, but even as the weather grew colder and colder while the weeks passed he still didn't know how to bring up the fact that he was ready for more.

Akihito sighed and lifted his gaze to the blackboard filled with scribbling he couldn't really concentrate on anyway. Has Hiroomi ever even thought of taking things further than this? he wondered. Was the other boy also too shy to bring it up, or was he just not interested in that at all?

"…ra-kun."

Or maybe… maybe he doesn't want to go further until we're closer than this? As he rested his chin in the palm of his hand, Akihito thought it through again. I still haven't told him I love him. Would it be okay to do so now? They'd promised to meet up that evening… maybe today was the right time to say it?

"Kanbara-kun!"

Snapped out of his thoughts, Akihito looked up at the teacher, who was tapping her foot impatiently and holding the crayon out to him. He glanced at the blackboard again to see the exercise he was supposed to work out and sighed again.

Is this the only way I can get fucked?

Akkey was becoming noticeably hornier by the day. Hiroomi had pretended not to notice for the sake of his own ass. Literally. Every time they would make out or mess around Akkey would grab at his ass and do weird things like spreading them and touching in places he shouldn't. Sure, he touched Akkey's ass sometimes too but he never tried to do that . That was just taking it too far and he was confused about why Akkey kept trying it. Maybe it's another fetish of his.

Tonight, Hiroomi promised Akkey he would come over to his place. He had no idea what would happen, would Akkey be shy like he had been at times or would he pounce on him like a tiger like he had equally done? Hiroomi found it easy to read Akkey normally but; lately it has been harder for him to do so. Part of that was because he was starting to grow confused in his own emotions towards the big-headed blonde. Yes he liked him, he liked him a lot and yes he loved touching his body, especially when it was naked.

Surely he wasn't actually falling in love. Well, there were greater and lesser degrees to love and he was sure he did love Akkey but he hadn't exactlyfallen in love with him… not yet at least.

He sighed in frustration as he waited outside the school for Akkey. He had ditched the club meeting and hung out on the roof, not like that was at all unusual. Hiroomi took in a deep breath and looked up at the golden sky. He had come to cherish walking with Akkey afterschool. Oftentimes they would separate halfway but today he would walk with Akkey the whole way to his apartment.

The chances of Akkey cooking them omurice was 100%, so Hiroomi made a point to bring a little extra money so they could stop at the convenience store and pick up some other ingredients. It had been a long time since Hiroomi's done any cooking in fact, the last time he ever picked up a pan was to make his darling Mitsuki overly sweet pancakes for her fourteenth birthday. That was a year ago.

Well this would be an interesting challenge, especially considering that the only thing he can make are pancakes… well that was a hell of a lot better than omurice again.

Hiroomi wrapped his arms around him as a chill ran down his entire body. Winter would be upon them soon and he was already dreading it. No matter how many layers he would wear the chill would get to him. He blushed some when he remembered a night where Akkey had offered to "warm him up" which ended up as the two rubbing against each other naked. Yeah, he liked it but he would never admit it.

Maybe Akkey had caught onto his liking of it though because even now once in a while Akkey would make jokes about that night without actually saying anything and it would make the normally cool brunette turn into a blushing schoolgirl. That night was probably the furthest they had ever gone and was also the night that Akkey first started playing with his ass in a way he found uncomfortable.

"What a troublesome guy."

The image of Akkey's smiling face appeared in his head and Hiroomi's body relaxed as he smiled privately. Despite everything, no matter how weird or unethical it all was, he really did like his dumb blonde.

"Aaaaah, that was really great!" Akihito stretched out where he lay on the floor and turned his head to look at Hiroomi, who was sitting with his back against the bed.

"That's the fifth time you've said it."

"Well, it's true." The pancakes Hiroomi had made them earlier that night were a completely surprise, and a happy one at that. Akihito had never known Hiroomi could actually make dinner and one that tasted good too. He himself had been planning on making the two of them curry, but Hiroomi had insisted in cooking for some reason.

But now, over half an hour after dinner, Hiroomi had shrugged off the jacket and dress shirt of his uniform and had a hand up his undershirt, resting it on his stomach. Akihito never forgot to turn up the heating when Hiroomi came over and it seemed the other boy had gotten quite used to sitting in that spot in just his slacks and a t-shirt.

Akihito eyed the strip of skin visible where Hiroomi's hand lifted the shirt. From where he was sitting, he could make out the fainted hickey he'd left on Hiroomi's hipbone four days ago. He got up to his knees and shuffled over to where his boyfriend was sitting.

"Akkey?" the other began, but before he could say more, Akihito softly pressed his lips to his mouth and kissed him slowly. Each and every time he could do this without some sort of spluttered half-protest, it felt like a little miracle to the blonde. Each and every time Hiroomi responded, parted his lips and drank him in, Akihito felt something swell inside him and he had to fight to keep in the urge to tell him he loved him, so, so much. He didn't want to scare him off.

Tonight was one of those nights and Akihito pulled away with a small sigh, then turned to lay down on his side, resting his head on Hiroomi's lap and rubbing the tip of his nose against the skin just above Hiroomi's trousers.

They were quiet for a while as Akihito tried to calm down his wildly beating heart and resisted moving his lips down just a little bit to press kisses down Hiroomi's fly.

"Hey, Hiroomi?" he eventually managed to get out, nervous. "Do you ever think of going… further?" He could feel the chest above him still, holding a breath. "Like… going all the way?"

Hiroomi raised an eyebrow as he glanced down at Akkey on his lap. He wasn't sure how much further they really could go since guys obviously couldn't have sex. At least not the same way as girls and guys did. Sure, he had seen some stuff from time to time that might have hinted at ways two guys could go further but he still didn't understand the concept or ever had the interest to find out.

He ran his fingers through Akkey's surprisingly soft hair and played with the messy ends. "Not really. Why?" He smirked some. "Have you been thinking about me in perverted ways, Akkey?" The blonde was visibly growing red in the face and it only caused Hiroomi to grow more amused with his teasing. He ran his finger along the edge of his earlobe and leaned back on his other arm causing his shirt to move up some and reveal a thin slice of fair skin.

To be honest, he didn't really like where this was going but he couldn't help but tease Akkey. He was so easily flustered; it made it even more fun to do.

"You know that two guys can't do that right?"

The raven head let out sigh and looked up at the window, it was dark but he could still see the small drops of rain coming down. He waited for Akkey to respond to him, he could sense that it had probably took a lot of courage on the other parties side to bring up the topic and so when he answered him he took care not to shut him down completely. At least that's what it seemed to him.

Is he actually that big an idiot? Akihito's cheeks flamed up at the idea of having to explain to Hiroomi how exactly two guys could have sex.

"Did you spend all of your health classes out on the rooftop or something?" he asked his boyfriend, a little exasperated, and he pouted afterwards. The hand that had been playing with his hair stilled.

"What do mean?"

Oh god he actually sounds confused. I don't want to have to explain this to him! Thinking hard, Akihito tried to come up with a way to show Hiroomi what he meant without actually having to spell it out. Literally showing him wasn't an option. Obviously. Hiroomi would definitely freak out in the middle of it. Or at the very beginning, he thought to himself.

"Akkey?" Hearing his name made him snap back to attention. Hiroomi repeated his question. "What do you mean by that?"

Akihito turned onto his back so he could look at Hiroomi's face hanging over him. "You're a guy."

"Well noticed."

"Shut up and let me make my point okay. You've, like, seen porn, right?" Even though his eyebrows drew together in a frown, Hiroomi still nodded. "Would you... look at it together... with me? So I can show you?"

Akihito averted his gaze, tried to speak loudly and clearly, but he didn't succeed. Instead, his words only came out as a soft murmur.

"I really don't want to tell you what it is. God, I'm dying of embarrassment."

What to make of this request, Hiroomi did not know. Here he was sitting with his boyfriend in his lap trying to advert his gaze with a blush on his flawless skin, it was actually adorable and if the topic had been different he would have bent down and kissed him right there.

Obviously this was going down the awkward end on Akkey's part and Hiroomi was just confused. He thought some as he ran his fingers through Akkey's hair again. Finally he let out a sigh and pulled his hand away.

"Fine, I'll watch your porn with you."

He had no idea how this was going to turn out, but he enjoyed seeing a flustered Akkey and so even if the porn didn't appeal to him he could always just watch the now pink-faced blonde secretly.

As he was thinking to himself he couldn't help but notice that Akkey was still very hesitant about showing him. His older brother (more like super wrong perverted older brother) instincts woke up within him and he let his hand caress Akkey's cheek softly.

"Show me, Akkey. I want to see."

Akihito kept glancing at Hiroomi as he moved his laptop from his desk to the table and, while booting it up, brought their plates to the kitchen. He could feel the other's eyes on him when he – still extremely embarrassed – scrolled through his browser history to search for the video he'd watched several times already. When Hiroomi made a snide comment about him not deleting his history, Akihito pointed out that he lived alone.

Well, at least he looks like he's relaxed. The dark-haired boy was still leaning back against the bed, seemingly completely nonchalant about the situation. Here goes nothing…

He turned the full-screen view on, clicked the play button and moved to sit down next to Hiroomi. Relax, relax, he told himself over and over when the black screen faded away to show a picture of a small house with a white picket fence and a swing in the garden.

A hand came down on his shoulder and Akihito looked around to see Hiroomi smiling and mouthing 'calm down' to him before pulling his arm back again. Soon enough, the blond changed his position to sit in a more comfortable way.

"So where are the sex and the naked dudes?"

Akihito was just glad he wasn't drinking at that moment. He turned his stunned gaze on Hiroomi again and managed to stutter out: "Th-that comes in a minute! I like the ones with stories, okay? Just watch."

He tried to ignore the snicker Hiroomi let out as the twenty-something guy on the screen yelled he'd come home and walked into the kitchen. That actor was Akihito's favourite of the two, he was tall – or at least he seemed to be – and slightly muscular, but nothing like a bodybuilder. Plus, he was wearing glasses. The other guy was more slender, slightly femine, Akihito knew, even though he hadn't showed up yet.

There was a lump in Akihito's throat and he swallowed hard when he thought about the scene Hiroomi was going to witness in a bit. He glanced over to see the other was still completely relaxed, watching the screen with a slight smile on his face.

"Do you-" he started at the same time Hiroomi said "So…"

"Ah, you go first," Akihito offered when he met brown eyes.

"So you like this domestic stuff?"

"Huh?" One glance at the screen told Akihito they'd arrived at the point where the seme met up with the blond uke in the kitchen, where the latter was cooking up dinner for both of them. Akihito knew they were going to turn off the gas and go at it in the bedroom soon enough.

"I do," he admitted, a blush spreading on his cheeks once more.

"Huh…" Next to him, Hiroomi shifted

"Do you want me to skip ahead?"

"How much longer before they…?"

Akihito raised an eyebrow when Hiroomi let the sentence trail off and he looked at the screen again. There, the two guys were making out already, the stove turned off and the smaller guy lifted onto the counter. He had to clear his throat before he could speak without sounding weird.

"Maybe a minute or so."

"Leave it running then."

The room turned quiet after that, save for the sounds coming from the laptop's speakers. Hiroomi didn't react when the smaller guy was picked up and carried to the king sized bed, didn't even move a muscle when the clothes flew off and they started going at it in a sixty-nine. Akihito, on the other hand, couldn't sit still and kept moving as the space in his trousers became tighter and tighter.

A few minutes later, he felt something warm brush over his crotch and he looked down to watch Hiroomi's fingers stroke him through the fabric covering his erection. When he looked up, he saw that Hiroomi wasn't even watching the video anymore.

"Hiroomi, you're supposed to watch."

"I'm watching better porn here," he answered immediately, as if he'd known what Akihito was going to say, and he pressed his palm down enough to make Akihito shudder.

"Please just watch it, okay?" Hiroomi lifted his eyes to meet his boyfriend's before he sighed, nodded and turned towards the screen again. His hand, though, remained in place, rubbing against Akihito in a way that made it so the younger boy had to remind himself to keep his eyes open.

In the video, the two moved around until the small blonde was on his back with is legs open wide, the camera full on him as he reached down and stretched his cheeks to obscenely display his asshole.

"Rei-chaaan," the uke's voice sounded, "I want you now, okay? Will you give it to me hard?"

"Naturally." Akihito opened his eyes again to watch as he took his glasses off and set them on the bedside table. "But first…"

At the same time that the guy's fingers were slicked up with lube, Hiroomi's found the hem of Akihito's trousers and dove into his underwear, gripping tight around Akihito's heated flesh. His head fell back, his eyes fluttered shut and he let out a soft moan in time with the ones sounding from the laptop.

Then, the hand wrapped around him suddenly stopped moving and the grip loosened and when Akihito looked up, he saw Hiroomi staring at the screen wide-eyed and absolutely shocked.

When the more muscular of the pair on the computer screen stuck his dick- yes, his fucking dick inside of the other's asshole, Hiroomi felt his composure completely dissolve as he sat there with a look of complete horror and disgust. He moved his hand up to his mouth to block any dry heaving that may or may not occur while witnessing the gay man fuck the other into oblivion.

No. No no no no FUCK NO, he was NOT doing this. There was no fucking way he was going to put his fucking dick up Akkey. Hiroomi couldn't take it anymore once the dominant changed the position and started to fuck the other like a dog. He stood up clumsily and began to walk circles around the table as his head was swarming with hundreds of thoughts and the colour red everywhere he looked. This was so wrong, so fucking wrong.

He stopped finally and looked at Akkey with wide eyes, Akkey was talking to him but he couldn't hear anything. He loved Akkey, he really did, but there was no way he could go through with this. He needed some air.

Without bothering to grab his jacket, Hiroomi headed for the door and walked out. The cold air of the evening enveloped him and he immediately shivered, but he remained out in the cold and refused to go back inside. As he walked he was haunted by the choking moans of pain and pleasure that he had heard bursting from the laptop's speakers.

A hand grabbed onto his arm and Hiroomi turned to see Akkey holding his jacket with a look of panic on his face. 'It's not your fault.' That was what Hiroomi wanted to tell him but he found that his lips were paralysed. He turned fully to Akkey who put his jacket around his shoulders to help him warm up. His eyes lingered down to the ground as he waited for Akkey to talk. Hiroomi wanted to desperately tell him that it everything was okay, but they both knew that would only be a lie.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Akihito's thoughts were racing once he'd managed to catch up with Hiroomi. He hadn't expected his senpai to just stick around on the balcony in front of his apartment. With a hand on Hiroomi's arm, he turned him around and showed him the jacket, holding it up.

"You're going to catch a cold, Hiroomi, you should at least pause to take your jacket." He moved his left arm over Hiroomi's head and draped the fabric over his boyfriend's shoulders, then rubbed his hands over his arms to try and warm him up. Hiroomi still wasn't looking at him, though. It made Akihito's nerves flare up more. Oh god, I made him mad, didn't I? How stupid am I? This reaction was exactly what I had expected, but I went along and showed him the damn video anyway.

Suddenly, Akihito froze up and went over his thoughts again. That's right. I was already expecting this reaction. Of course Hiroomi would freak out.Unlike Akihito, Hiroomi probably hadn't even looked up one bit of gay porn and judging by his earlier statements, he didn't even know that penetrative sex was possible between two guys. Wait, a straight couple can have anal sex right?

He quickly shook his head to get rid of the mind bunnies and crouched down a little to try and look Hiroomi in the eyes. He felt a lot calmer now, knowing that this was nothing unexpected, knowing from Hiroomi's reaction to his touch that he wasn't so much repulsed by him as he was by the thought of... well, that.

"Hiroomi, please come inside? I already turned it off, alright? You don't have to think about it anymore alright? I'm.. I promise I won't do or ask you to do anything you find uncomfortable." He moved his hand from Hiroomi's left to his right arm and placed the other on his back, gently nudging him towards the open door. "Just come in and warm up. We can watch a move or something. I'll put fucking Bambi on if that's what you want me to do."

Hiroomi moved his left hand up to the hand on his right. He entangled his fingers with Akkey's and looked at both their hands. Even though it was cold he didn't want to go back in just yet. With his free hand, he tugged on Akkey's shirt, pulling him closer to him. Then, without saying a word, he leaned down and kissed Akkey chastely.

There wasn't much to say between them, since Akkey was fully aware of Hiroomi's uncertainty and Hiroomi was fully aware of Akkey's fear. This kiss was Hiroomi's way of saying that, even with this obstacle in the way, he wouldn't let them fall a part that easily.

Just standing there and holding that seemingly innocent kiss was magical in it's own way and Hiroomi felt content just leaving it there without progressing any further. He finally released Akkey's lips and put his forehead to his with a slight smile on his lips. Akkey's eyes seemed almost hazy, as if he was in some wonderful dream that he didn't want to wake up from.

Hiroomi squeezed his hand and brought it up to kiss. That seemed to do the trick, because when he opened his eyes, he saw that Akkey had come back to reality and now his skin was pink, and that did not come from the cold.

"Let's go watch a movie."

Hiroomi was the first to release their hands once they were back inside and he walked over to the bookcase to check Akkey's DVD collection. He looked it over with an inspecting eye, half wondering if Akkey had the guts to let his pornos sit out in the open. But sure enough they weren't there, probably hidden away somewhere.

Akkey had a surprisingly large collection of Disney movies. Was this a weakness of his or something? Maybe it was part of the domestic kink since every family home had at least one or two Disney movies. He wasn't sure which one to pick until his eyes fell onto The Fox and the Hound. He really liked this one, well… maybe it was actually his favourite, but who was ever going to confess to that?

He took it off the shelf and walked over to Akkey to show him what he had picked, but Akkey glanced up at him with a look that caused a bit of irritation to stir within him.

"What? I like this one."

"I know."

Hiroomi was taken aback by his response.

"What?"

Akkey looked like a deer caught in headlights before he quickly grabbed the case and walked over to the TV. Hiroomi watched him with suspicion, but his thoughts didn't linger on it for too long. While Akkey set up the movie he figured it would be most comfortable to watch while on the bed. Just as he finished getting comfortable, Akkey had gone and turned off the lights and joined him on the bed with an extra blanket that they both shared as the movie started.

Although the movie had many sad scenes throughout, Hiroomi did well to resist them, if he was by himself he probably would have cracked by now. He cuddled up next to Akkey as they watched and he felt Akkey's hand on his. He smiled to himself and openly accepted it.

He was fine until the old lady, widow Tweed, began to drive Tod the fox out to the forest where she would leave him. Hiroomi had watched this movie enough times to know he would not be able to hold back, and that became completely evident when the old woman's monologue began.

"We met it seems, such a short time ago. You looked at me needing me so… yet from your sadness our happiness grew, and I found out I needed you too." It was towards the end of those lines that he began to shake a little and squeezed Akkey's hand tighter.

"I remember how we used to play, I recall those rainy days, the fires glow that kept us warm, and now I find we're both alone." Hiroomi could feel the tears beginning to gather in his eyes. He looked away so that Akkey wouldn't notice the silent anguish his boyfriend was experiencing at the moment.

"Goodbye may seem forever, farewell is like the end… but in my hearts a memory and there you'll always be."

He glanced back at the screen and watched the widow take the collar off from around the fox's neck and walk back towards the car. Tod followed after her but she turned around and silently told him no before walking back to the car, looking back at him one final time with tears in her eyes and then droving away.

Hiroomi sniffed loudly as the tears burned his cheeks. The sound must have been what caught Akkey's attention, because when he looked at him his eyes widened at the emotion Hiroomi was currently drowning in. Hiroomi tried to look away, but Akkey pulled his chin back over and wiped away his tears. However, Hiroomi remained dry for only a moment before choking on another sob. God dammit, why do I have to break down like this? Why did I have to pick this movie to watch, I knew this was going to happen.

Akkey pulled his chin towards him and Hiroomi didn't protest when their lips met, but it was only briefly because once their lips touched, Akkey let him go and pulled him into a tight embrace. Hiroomi wrapped his arms around him and buried his face into the crook of Akkey's neck. They remained like that for a while, for how long he didn't know because he had fallen asleep in Akkey's arms.

When Hiroomi woke up the ending credits had just started and his head was in Akkey's lap. He was a little confused about his surroundings at first but he quickly figured it all out and moved up to look at a softly smiling Akkey.

"Did you have a good nap?"

"…yeah."

"I didn't realise you were such a cry baby."

Hiroomi grumbled something with a glare directed towards Akkey, but the latter wasn't able to make it out until it was repeated a little louder.

"If you tell anyone I will end you."

The blonde put up his hands in surrender.

"I won't tell anyone!"

Hiroomi let out a sigh, leaned back against the wall and then slid down sideways so his head was lying on Akkey's shoulder. The credits were done and they sat there in silence. Hiroomi's thoughts travelled back to the porn they had watched together earlier. He felt sick to his stomach when he recalled those images he'd seen, but way in the back of his mind there was another thought scratching annoyingly at him. He couldn't help himself anymore; it was now or never.

"Akkey…?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really want to have sex with me? Like how those two guys were doing it?"

There was a heavy silence in the air. Maybe he should break down his question more.

"Have you ever touched yourself there before?"