Eleven
I remember falling asleep when I felt something on my cheek… and then I found him there, hovering over me, apparently shocked at my awakening, but that didn't stop his descent… he still tried to embrace me… No… no that just can't be. This is Sesshomaru I'm talking about! He's hated me since day one, putting up with me only because he wants Kikka to keep Rin happy!
But despite everything she told herself, she found her mind still wandering to the question of whether he really was trying to kiss her.
No, it had to have been real… he was most definitely above me when the deer came, and the wolves found us in such a position!
Len felt lost. She had assured herself it really happened, but nothing made sense: Sesshomaru disliked her in general and hated half-demons as a whole. He was an asshole, and yet she still found herself pulling her impressions of him together…
He completely lacks a real personality, refusing to be happy in any way at all, pushing everyone away, even Rin who seems to love him so much, and Jaken who will stay loyal to him until his death.
He just seems so void of everything around him, he doesn't seem to appreciate all the things he has. If only he knew how lucky he was…
And then her mind wandered. She turned over, hugging the blankets under her head, using them as a pillow. She thought about how Kikka and Rin were doing, what Jaken was up to… it didn't take much for it to wander back to her moment with Sesshomaru.
Then something hit her... "If you're done training, we'll return home."
Home... It's no longer the "mansion," it's our home. I guess that means he wants Kikka and me to continue to stay here? Rin would be overjoyed if Kikka could stay with them, and I could receive more training from Sesshomaru. But... will that be all? Or will he actually try again?
After getting completely lost in her thoughts, she rolled over and fell asleep. She woke up several hours later after enduring some weird dreams, the sun soon to be setting. She got up and walked downstairs, smelling cooking food. Like Sesshomaru, she could go on without sustenance – at least for a few days – but found an interest in food. Not to mention she was used to eating with Kikka when she would get hungry.
She walked into the kitchen where she had dinner with Jaken and the girls, playing a few games of Issen with them afterwards. When the festivity was over, the girls ran off in order to take their evening bath while Len retired early even though she had already gotten a long nap.
When back in her room, she opened the window and sat down at the sill as she often did, enjoying the breeze. She looked out at the dark forest, then up at the deep blue sky. She had always loved the night sky, the moon, and the stars.
She put her fingers to her birthmark and caressed it softly, feeling the tenderness of the skin. And as she stroked it softly, she caught a glimpse of a shooting star, flying across the night sky like a white arrow.
She closed her eyes, "No matter what, let us be happy..."
-/\-\/-/\-\/-/\-
Sesshomaru, confined within his chamber, had a much different outlook than Lenezma's dreamlike memory.
Instead, he was cursing habitually in his head as he repeatedly called himself stupid.
How could I have been so stupid? (See?) Why did I give in to such temptations? Just by following such urges even the slightest will only make me hunger for more, especially after… he faded a moment, his hand resting over his heart, not gripping his shirt like before. … After I took joy in that unusual feeling…
"Pulling myself away from her is going to be much harder than before."
-/\-\/-/\-\/-/\-
For the next two days, Len found herself lingering around the mansion, playing games with Kikka and Rin, helping Jaken with the chores: she cleaned the clothes, dusted shelves, and washed the dishes, all kinds of housework, just trying to find something to do.
She had not seen Sesshomaru since that day; she had even gone looking for him for pure training purposes, but he was nowhere to be found.
But, in case he chose to randomly appear before her like last time, she decided to at least keep up her training. When free of chores, she'd circle the mansion walls, performing many different exercises to keep herself in shape. Inside the yard, she'd practice her fire techniques, learning to create balls of fire which she could throw and figured out how to call any flames into her body, whether they originated from her or not.
She constantly practiced with the dragon, which Kikka and Rin took great interest in. Jaken was scared to hell when it jumped out at him for the first time, giving the rest of them a good laugh.
"Good night, Leny!" Rin and Kikka called as she left the room. She had just got done playing four games of Issen with them right after dinner and her brain was officially fried.
"Good night Kikka! Rin!" she walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the front door.
She stepped outside, her feet gliding through the grass as she walked gently in the evening darkness, the sleeves of her long, pink kimono with white bellflowers wavered in the wind.
A low grumbling noise was heard; Ah-Un trudged towards her, hoping for some loving.
"Hi, Ah and Un," she greeted, scratching their scales gently so as not to cut their skin. "I'm going to go out for a bit, I'll be back later…"
Len turned from them but was jerked back as one of the heads grabbed a hold of her sleeve with his mouth, making sure not to bite too hard and ruin it. They grumbled almost sadly as she looked back at them.
"I'm just going on night patrol… Do you want to come with me?"
The deep black eyes lit up at these words, both heads nodding enthusiastically. The dragon suddenly turned and began motioning for her to climb on.
"You want me to ride you?" she asked, receiving a firm nod from the nearest head. With a silly grin, Lenezma propped herself up onto his back gently, balancing herself as the two-headed dragon began rising off the ground.
They elevated straight up before heading for the great walls, gliding over them peacefully…
"Hmm… This is nice, isn't it? The cool night wind in our faces… We've never done this before, have we Ah-Un? Just the two of us… We should do it more often, huh?" she smiled, patting him on the back gently.
She chuckled as both heads nodded excitedly at the prospect of going out on more patrols with the demon upon his back, a figure whom he had grown quite fond of during the many weeks she'd been living with them, the feline almost always finding time to just loiter with him or give him a good scratching behind the ears.
"Hey, Ah-Un… Sesshomaru… does he…?"
One eye glanced back at her curiously.
"Er, never mind…" she faded, looking away gently. She felt stupid for thinking it, or even attempting to ask the dragon about it, but couldn't help remembering the brook… it was still so strange to her… "Hmm?" she glanced up, finding the dragon's left head looking back at her, almost with a smile as he growled softly.
Len grinned. "Right… Come on, let's go find us some entertainment!"
-/\-\/-/\-\/-/\-
The following afternoon, Jaken, after finishing the morning lessons with all three females, asked for Lenezma to follow him.
"What is it?"
"Lord Sesshomaru has asked me to start introducing you to more pertinent reading,"
Len blinked, curious of what he meant by that. "Oh?"
"Yes," Jaken nodded firmly as he opened up a certain door, leading Lenezma into a room she'd almost forgotten: the library.
"Light the fire for me, will you?" the imp asked rather politely as he headed towards the far row of shelves. With a flick of her wrist, the fire sprang to life, instantly lighting up the room while several candles scattered about also burst with fire, giving the room an all around glow.
Waiting for Jaken to come back with some scrolls, Lenezma couldn't help but stand and stare at the same painting that had so intrigued her the last few times she visited. She'd been so interested in the portrait, wondering if the woman displayed was of some acquaintance.
She was very beautiful, standing in the moonlight beside an eloquently thin tree that only stood maybe two feet taller than her, perfectly balancing the image.
The woman wore rich and expensive clothing, a multi-layer kimono of violet-blue that glowed in the moon's light, causing the cherry blossom petal design to radiate magnificently, bringing out her clear yellow-green eyes. As if to enrich her over all majesty, hanging delicately around the arms, covering a majority of her lower half, hung what appeared to be a large robe of white fur.
"Here we are!" Jaken fumbled back to the main table, dropping five or six scrolls clumsily before turning to Len, finding a shocked look upon her face.
"Are you kidding me? I can barely read and you're throwing all this at me?"
"Don't worry, the bulk of these scrolls consist of pictures."
"Pictures? What for?"
"These are detailed records of various demons that roam this country! If you're going to survive the world outside Lord Sesshomaru's lands you'll need to be prepared!"
Len was slightly taken aback by this information, surprised by the way Jaken talked; sure, it had always been her goal to set out on her own when she was strong enough, but lately she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she didn't know what was what anymore.
However, due to a sincere interest in what these scrolls could tell her, she did as Jaken said and went through the scrolls with him, learning about demons she never knew existed, their strengths and weaknesses, abilities, almost anything she could ever wish to know…
"Jaken," she started, the imp having returned after getting some tea for lunch, "I was wondering… Who is that woman in the painting over there?"
"Hmm?" Jaken followed her gaze, turning to find the enchantress upon the far wall, seemingly watching them. "Oh, why that is a portrait of the late mistress of this mansion," he answered matter-of-factly.
"The late mistress?"
"Why yes – that's Lord Sesshomaru's mother."
Len's eyes widened almost instantly, jumping to her feet hastily in order to gain a better look at the painting…
"That's his mother?" she wondered aloud, stunned by her beauty and even more shocked by the similarities she noticed now that she knew the truth. "But… she looks so kind and gentle… how could she have given birth to such a killer?"
And in the following instant, the memories came flooding back to her, images of Sesshomaru's dreamy eyes, his hot breath on her lips, the brush of his nose against hers.
She shook her head hastily, clearing her mind of such memories before Jaken could notice her sudden behavior.
But the imp was impervious, scratching his chin nervously as he remembered their brief encounter with the Lady a few years ago.
"Believe it or not, Lord Sesshomaru is more like her than his father…
"She was said to have belonged to an old clan of dog demons that lived in a well hidden land. They say she was the best and brightest, but has been known to destroy her fair share of human towns…"
"That seems so hard to believe…" Len gazed upon the woman's soft visage, her glowing eyes revealing a motherly warmth. "But… what happened to her? Where is she now?"
"Oh, she's around…" he faded, almost as if trying to avoid the subject. Their encounter with the Lady had been a little on the unpleasant side…
Len eyed the imp curiously at his comment, realizing he didn't think much of the topic. She wanted to know more, but doubted that either Jaken or Sesshomaru would talk about it. Feeling slightly defeated and discouraged, she returned to the table where she sipped at the tea before returning to her studies…
For the next few days, Lenezma was kept busy between her demonology lessons and nightly patrols with her two-headed companion. She was disheartened by the fact she still hadn't seen Sesshomaru, still just missing him every time she was sure she had found his location.
What bothered her the most was the lingering images in her head.
She almost couldn't think of him without those memories flooding back, her heart rate increasing with the redness in her cheeks.
Len still hadn't completely convinced herself that what happened was real. Why would he do such a thing? Why would he actually get so close and try to… try to kiss her? Didn't Sesshomaru hate half-demons? Even if he liked Lenezma, wouldn't his pride have kept him from embracing her in such a way?
But everything that had touched her was still vivid in her mind, senses that couldn't be so meticulously perceived from a dream. And those wolves – they even commented upon seeing them in the grass. Surely that was evidence enough! They slaughtered the demons, didn't they? She played with the deer and rode on Sesshomaru's cloud of mist. If it was all a lie, then… then…
"Leny?"
Lenezma nearly jumped out of her skin at the tiny voice, nearly losing her balance after such a jolt back to reality.
"Oh, Kikka, you scared me…" she whispered softly, quickly recovering from her intense lapse of sanity.
"Sorry, but you were scaring me with that look…" she replied innocently.
Lenezma could only imagine what kind of facial expressions she was making. "Don't worry, I'm all right. I've just had a lot on my mind lately, that's all…"
"Well, you've been awfully busy. When you're not training, you're usually in the library reading with Jaken."
"Yes… I'm sorry I haven't been able to play with you and Rin lately."
"It's okay," she shrugged it off, though Lenezma could sense a sort of sadness in her eyes. "Jaken's been testing us a lot lately as well – we know about all kinds of plants now! And since we started to learn to read, Jaken's even pulled out a few scrolls for us!"
"Really? That's wonderful!" Len smiled, glad to see Kikka's proud grin over her recent accomplishments. "You two are going to be highly prized for your knowledge in the future!"
"You will too, won't you, Leny?"
Lenezma hesitated at this question, finding the circumstances different between the two of them. "Well, perhaps…"
Suddenly Kikka's fists hit the table and she grinned determinedly up at her sister, unwilling to accept her modesty. "Of course you will! Sesshomaru is training you, isn't he? You'll become a famous demon, I just know it! And when villagers talk about you, I can proudly claim that you're my sister!"
"No!"
Kikka flinched at Len's sudden outburst, confused by her reaction.
With a sad shake of the head, Len placed her hands on Kikka's shoulders softly; "No, Kikka… I appreciate the honor, but I don't want you associating yourself with me… Whether or not I become known is anyone's guess, but you shouldn't tell people about us. It could get you into a lot of trouble one day…"
"But… you're my sister… you're the only family I've ever had… How can I not be proud of you?"
All it took was those seven little words to bring a tear to her sapphire eyes. Lenezma hugged her sister tightly, drying her tears on the girl's silky kimono as her heart warmed instantly. Kikka… Thank you…
Her words echoed in her mind all throughout the day, filling her with a fondness that she'd nearly forgotten. After years of isolation, having only a few people at her side, only one of them close enough to confide in (Kikka, of course), Lenezma had lost bits of her heart.
She'd grown cold toward all who bore dark intent for her, even some who'd never so much as glance at her. Then again, that may have been why she grew to hate them – as if she weren't good enough for their eyes or even to give a simple hello to while passing.
Everyone had been slaughtered and yet Lenezma was still pitted against the harsh words of Sesshomaru and Jaken, but it felt like a small price to pay for the extra friend she gained in Rin, who brought so much joy and happiness to her only loved one.
And then there was Ah-Un, of course, whom she fondly stroked as these muddled thoughts crossed her mind.
It was moon-high in the evening, the two-headed dragon floating effortlessly over the trees before descending into a small clearing to the northwest of the mansion.
She slipped down from their back easily, running her fingers through Ah's hair before silently heading into the trees, the dragon trailing behind as quietly as he could.
Normally things were very calm in the forest with very few nocturnal demons wandering the paths – one reason Sesshomaru had allowed her this freedom. But in one single instance all of that changed, an unusual scream sounding off in the distance.
Lenezma stopped to listen, That sounded like a doe…
She took a few swift steps in the direction of the sound, but stopped immediately. The words "It's a natural cycle of life" ran through her head as she reacted. It was something Sesshomaru had told her when she wanted to help a rabbit from being a fox's dinner.
Another cry came, followed by another. It was evident a whole herd of them were in trouble…
Len bit her lip… and began running for the cries, Ah-Un following not far behind.
Sesshomaru's not here!
As she ran, she began to recognize where she was. If she was correct, it sounded as if the cries were coming from a field of wildflowers that should be just ahead.
When she cleared the trees, for a split second she was proud of herself for being right, but that was completely forgotten with the unusual sight before her.
There they were, a whole herd of deer standing clustered amidst the center of the flower field, a fully grown buck, as well as a few younger ones with their immature antlers, surrounded the females and a fawn or two protectively.
Surrounding them, however, was an entire pack of the 3-eyed wolf demons, their duel rows of fangs glinting wickedly as they barked, trying to find themselves a midnight snack.
As she stared, dumbfounded, she came to recognize a few of the scents: Those are my deer! The ones we helped before!
All of the bucks held their heads low to the ground, warning the wolves that threatened them and their does, kicking at the dirt with their hooves as a warning.
One of the wolves jumped at a buck, but another one came to his rescue and smacked the wolf away with his antlers. They were family, the brothers protecting each other.
Just as she was about to help, she heard a disturbing, repulsive voice calling to the wolves, commanding them, "What are you doing? Get them!"
That was then when Len looked over to find a deformed wolf devil, bloodshot eyes and drool dripping from his fangs, as well as possession over other personal issues that made the thing look absolutely hideous as it stood, slouched over on its hind legs.
She looked back at the deer just as one of the wolves sank his teeth into the hind leg of one of the bucks. The buck screamed and kicked wildly, hitting the wolf a few times in the chest, but it refused to let go.
Lenezma felt something snap within her.
Unable to take any more, she threw her arm out, the dragon bursting through her skin, and flying straight at the pack of wolves, ramming through and knocking them all over the place like bowling pins. The dragon then turned around and grabbed the last wolf - that still held onto the buck's leg - around his back with his mouth, frightening it into freeing the leg.
The wolf kicked and yipped, but the dragon only flew closer to the leader before throwing the terrified creature into the ground violently.
As soon as the deer realized they were free to run, the wolves distracted by the sudden aid, they all fled for the trees where they would keep on running to safety.
The distraught demon looked down upon his fallen brother at his feet; he quickly shifted his gaze, glaring right at Len, knowing it was she who called the dragon. He pointed his disfigured claws at her and the pack of wolves charged.
She called the dragon back to her where it plowed through the pack again. A few wolves that managed to avoid the dragon leapt at her, ready to kill, but to them she threw fireballs, which sent them flying back, also landing at the demon's feet.
Two wolves, however, managed to dodge these as well, jumping at her from both sides; she struck both of them with her slashes, sending their bodies back the way they came, several pieces following.
The few remaining wolves stared at her in both awe and fear. They glanced between her and their fallen brethren shakily before finally deciding it wasn't worth it and fled from the field – opposite of the deer's heading.
As one of the wolves ran off, tail between its legs, it screamed "It is Sesshomaru's bitch!"
It was the first time Lenezma thought perfectly clear since she arrived, and she clenched her fists in response.
The dark, misshapen leader of theirs stood his ground, deepening his glare for her before grinning menacingly.
"Sesshomaru's bitch, eh? I've heard of you! So, you think you can beat me? You don't know who you're messing with! This is our territory, despite what that Sesshomaru may claim!" he growled.
"I am NOT a bitch! And besides, it's you who doesn't know!" she called back furiously, ready to attack.
The demon threw its head back, roaring with laughter, "And I suppose you think I'll die at your hands?"
Lenezma took note to his lowering stature, his forepaws now closer to the ground; most likely he was planning to charge at her for his own attack. The hairs along his spine began to bristle, confirming her theory.
Len smirked. "No; his," she said, relaxing as she motioned to something behind him.
The demon turned his head around just in time to see Sesshomaru strike down on him with the glowing Tokijin.
The bloody demon fell, his minced entrails scattering across the field, crushing flowers as the mass amount of blood splattered all over the immediate area. Len didn't like this ending at all: dead bodies, blood, gore, and ruined flowers.
Lenezma called her dragon back before approaching Sesshomaru happily, hiding her joy with a tease: "Well, glad to see you after all this time."
"Why were you out here?" he called in all seriousness, catching Len off guard, but he would not meet her eyes. "I told you, you must leave nature alone and let it run its own course," he continued in an as serious a tone as you can without sounding pissed off, still avoiding her gaze.
"Hey!" she yelled in a gruff manner. "Did you not see those wolves? They were the same kind of demons we killed the other day! Besides, you saw the demon controlling them! That isn't exactly nature's natural cycle, you know!"
"You're still not strong enough to be taking on certain demons yet, you shouldn't have made a challenge."
"Yeah, well, it turned out all right didn't it?"
"With my help," he turned sternly, finally daring to meet her eyes.
"Now you listen… to… me…" she faded. Sesshomaru waited patiently for the rest of her sentence, but got none in the end. "Do you smell that?" she said peculiarly, sniffing the air.
It was a strange scent, unlike any she'd ever experienced before. It… called to her. She looked down, feeling it came from below her. She knelt down and located the source of the smell.
"What is this?" she asked. There was an unusual weed at her feet; there didn't seem to be anything peculiar about it, yet it had the most interesting smell. She touched the leaves, leaning in for a closer whiff when she began to sneeze several times nonstop, throwing her off balance. Lenezma fell back quickly, her hair dangling in her face.
"What's the matter?" he asked, not sounding worried but giving the impression. Even that was different. He knelt down and moved a thick section of her hair out of her face.
Len looked up at him, a large, stupid grin on her face, her eyes lazy and her speech muddled.
"Mmm… I don't know…" she said, smiling, "I just know I feel very light headed… I think I'm going to take a nap now…" she half giggled as she fell forward, feinting there in his arms.
Confused, he ripped a long stem from the weed, sniffing its leaves and branches, but it had absolutely no affect on him. He decided to tuck it into his kimono for the time being; he would ask Jaken later.
Unsure of her current condition, Sesshomaru picked her up in his arms carefully as Ah-Un finally arrived, walking softly towards them, catching Sesshomaru's gaze as they called to him. "Come, let's return,"
Ah-Un patiently waited as Sesshomaru settled onto their back before leaping into the air where they headed back home.
Lenezma slept peacefully against his arm despite the fact she could have easily slipped from the dragon's back, Sesshomaru not caring to keep her firmly in place. Yet nearly the entire way back, Sesshomaru kept his eyes serenely on Lenezma's sleeping face.
"Hmm?" Sesshomaru looked at her wrist, seeing two tiny marks from the corner of his eye. He moved the sleeve, revealing two more as his fingers stroked her soft flesh.
He had found the same imprints his claws made all those weeks ago. He didn't know he had scarred her…
Once home, Sesshomaru held her in his arms once again where he then brought her into the fireplace room, setting her down on the large cushions pushed together.
Almost as soon as he let go, she woke up and looked around stupidly, "Where am I?" she asked almost drunkenly; her pupils were highly dilated.
"It seems there was something about that weed that's left you muddled,"
"What are you talking about?" she stood up quickly and stumbled in a total stupor, almost losing her balance. "I'm just fine…!" she mumbled just before falling forward into Sesshomaru, catching her yet again.
Lenezma looked up at him and stood as straight up as possible without leaning against him, but didn't last very long. "Well… maybe I'm not… Oh well!" she giggled cheerily, losing her balance again.
Her knees caved in and she collapsed again, but Sesshomaru held onto her arms, keeping her up and setting her on her feet though she continued to lean towards him as if given up on trying to stand.
Before he could push her away, her hands grabbed the sleeves at his elbow and she looked up into Sesshomaru's eyes, the cerulean blue barely visible around the rims of her irises. She gazed silently, the fire's crackling the only noise as gold and sapphire (black) stared, slightly intimately…
"Your eyes are reeeeally preeeeetty..." she stammered, completely ruining the moment. "And you smell good toooo..." she practically drooled, her knees collapsing beneath her again, but Sesshomaru held her tightly, keeping his grip as he pulled her a little closer to lean against him better…
After a moment, her grip on his sleeves lightened, telling him that she had blacked out again.
The fire raged on just behind him, almost inaudible to his sensitive ears as all of his senses seemed to focus on one solitary object…
He stood tall, trying to ignore the semi-embrace that they'd fallen into, a voice in his head telling him to just let her drop… but he couldn't.
He just stood there, staring at her head of striped hair with an unending gaze, breathing in her flowery scent. And before he even knew it, he was soon holding her in an embrace, his arms fully wrapped around her delicate torso…
It was just the other night that he'd partly - partly - thought about… about holding Lenezma similar to this… Then again, he had pictured it while she was sane and sober, but wasted off of some plant was completely out of the question. If anything, all of this was a big nuisance, annoying Sesshomaru more and more as time went on.
It was at that point that he realized what he'd done.
Jerking his head out of the clouds, irritated with himself, he carefully eased her body to the ground, setting her back down on the long pillows where she immediately turned on her side.
Sesshomaru grabbed one of the blankets piled in the corner, covering her half-heartedly. It was like just taking a blanket and tossing it over her body, hoping it landed okay, if not, oh well. It wasn't like it mattered much anyway; the plant, whatever it was, had knocked her out cold. It was then that he remembered the plant sample tucked inside his shirt, the place where Len's face had fallen into him, undoubtedly reaching her senses through the cloth and thus putting her back into a sleep.
"Sesshomaru…"
He glanced down at her, but her eyes were closed. The way she had said it shocked him a bit, never hearing anyone say his name the way she just did. It wasn't angry or calm, but almost wanting. I'm just hearing things...
But he was wrong. Just then, she chanted his name again, a little more normal this time, but followed it up with a sentence.
"It was good to see you again… I've missed you…"
He stared down at her, firm but weirded out by her saying such a thing. It was something no one had ever said to him before, yet there she was, talking in her drugged up sleep, dreaming of him...
He knelt next to the couch, near her head, staring at her face intently. His fingers lightly brushed over her cheeks, pulling some of her silver hairs out of her face with his claws, the tips just barely petting her cheeks, causing her to stir in her sleep at the soft tickle...
Lenezma finally awoke, feeling dizzy and surprised to find herself on the couch of the fireplace room. She began blinking her eyes rapidly to try and clear her vision. After a moment, everything unclouded and she glanced around the room.
The fire was a little smaller than before, but was still quite large. She looked towards the closed window and could tell it was still dark out, so she had either slept for a short time or slept all day and back into the night – nothing would have surprised her about now.
She pushed herself up and looked around again, her mind in a whirl. What happened? Last thing I remember is... Sesshomaru killing that wolf demon in the field, and then everything gets fuzzy...
She turned her head around quickly when she heard a footstep; it was Sesshomaru.
"So you're awake."
Len wiped her forehead, ridding herself of any sweat, massaging it as she felt a tiny headache. "What happened? I don't remember a thing after... There was a plant…"
"Yes; it obviously acted as some sort of drug to your nose,"
"Really? Hmm…"
She pulled herself to the edge of the cushions and stretched her feet out on the floor. She pulled the blanket up and covered her legs up with it and just stared downwards.
She could hear Sesshomaru approach and then walk past as he stood next to the fire like he always did. She looked up at him as he stood there, arms crossed, gazing into the flames.
She looked over at the window, hoping for something to come to her to say. "How long have I been out?"
"Only an hour or two,"
Not as late as I thought it was. She looked down at where her feet were under the blanket and smiled, "I didn't do anything stupid, did I?"
"Nothing more than constantly losing your balance and blabbering on as always,"
She narrowed her eyes at him with a humph, turning her head away irritably. Len curled her legs beneath the blanket but could find nothing to say; I'd probably just be 'blabbering on' some more to him…
Lenezma looked up at him again, feeling his eyes on her.
And they were.
The two turned away, avoiding looking at each other, peering around the rest of the room.
Her body suddenly shook as a cold chill ran through her body. She looked towards the fire, hardly concentrating at all with her eyes before the flames suddenly grew, roaring louder and taller than before, giving off more heat.
Sesshomaru made no comment but was forced to take a step back or start sweating. It surprised him only a little when the fires burst, glancing in Lenezma's direction as he knew she was the cause, but found she had done so with sheer force of will. He made sure not to look upon her, but focused his other senses on her just the same…
Lenezma laid back down, staring off before taking a deep breath for no real reason, it just sort of came and went. Or maybe it was a sigh? A sigh of what though? Relief? Sadness? But neither of those made any real sense…
Then it occurred to Sesshomaru, though he didn't feel positive it was the correct answer: she felt happy… content.
She felt safe.
Safe? With him? Most people would be scared beyond the point of peeing in their pants when he was near. Only Jaken and Rin felt safe around him, but knew if he turned on them, they'd be trembling as well. Yet here she was, not a worry at all. Knowing this helped Sesshomaru relax greatly, almost to the point of taking a deep breath himself.
Lenezma closed her eyes and quickly drifted back into a doze. When she reawakened, she found she was still lying there with Sesshomaru nearby.
She pushed her upper body up hastily, catching Sesshomaru's attention. She glanced around the room quickly, "How long was I out?"
"…You've only been lying there several minutes,"
"Oh… Okay," she relaxed again. "I thought I might've fallen asleep again… Wouldn't want you to feel as though you had to wait on me," she smiled.
She turned her head to look in his eyes and found him staring deep into hers, his oh-so-familiar dreamy look returning, appearing much more magnificent than usual as his topaz jewels gleamed in the fire.
Lenezma's heart began to pound wildly, almost panicky as she found herself stuck in suspension, unable to tear her eyes from his. Oh please don't let him hear my heart beat!
But he did. What he didn't know was if she could hear that his own heart had sped up.
Suddenly Sesshomaru snapped back to reality with a hard blink, quickly breaking the gaze to look upon the fire.
Len forced herself to calm down; this was stupid! What was she thinking? Sesshomaru wasn't interested in her, how many times did she have to remind herself of that? She was a half-demon! Besides, it wasn't like she was head-over-heels for him either… that ass…
Yet while she watched him as she stood up, mixed emotions about him filled her: one part of her was relieved he looked away, but another side felt disheartened.
She didn't know what she wanted; should she just tell him good night right now and leave the room? Or should she stay in here with him? Until what though? Until he command her to leave? Or her own body forced her to?
Len stepped near Sesshomaru, staring down into the flames as he did in one last attempt to clear her thoughts.
She carefully glanced up at him, mystified as his eyes reflected the orange and yellow of the flame beautifully. After another moment of silence passed, she decided to glance back up one last time, having finally decided to just leave. But when she looked up, he was looking down at her too.
She quickly turned her gaze back to the fire, hoping he didn't see her. What was she thinking? Of course he saw her! Stupid! Stupid! Just tell him goodnight and LEAVE!
After a moment of forcing her lips to move, she finally started to excuse herself for the evening. "Well, I'll be off to bed now,"
Lenezma turned away from him hastily and began walking towards the pillows. She got down on her knees and grabbed the blanket, folding it before she left. As soon as she folded it, she looked up to find Sesshomaru, partially turned from the fire and staring at her full on, his arms at his sides.
Len avoided his gaze as she stood tall once again, but made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. He was staring straight down at her, piercing through her; his eyes unwavering as they bore down on her.
Lenezma tried to look away, but found she couldn't do it. There was something in his eyes… something that seemed to mesmerize her and pull her in, yet neither moved one bit.
She could feel her heart beginning to speed up once more. And just when she felt as though something might happen, it was she who snapped back to reality.
"Well, I should be leaving. Good night," she bowed slightly, though quick, and turned away from him. She walked silently towards the door, her nerves finally at ease knowing that she was going to bed and no longer had to fight the tension or these mixed feelings.
"Lenezma."
Lenezma stopped immediately, taken aback by the way he spoke. It was a strange way to call her name, not really calling her or trying to get her attention, just saying it as simple as hello.
Len turned slowly, hating herself for looking in his eyes yet again. She braced herself as Sesshomaru approached her at an even pace, his eyes completely focused on her.
"I want to apologize for my actions last time," he spoke softly as he came to a stand before her. But before Len could reply, he continued. "Then… and now…"
Lenezma was quickly overwhelmed in confusion as Sesshomaru placed his hands on her delicate shoulders, gently gripping them as he leaned in, pressing his lips against hers with little hesitation.
Complete and utter silence.
She was absolutely astonished at Sesshomaru! What had suddenly come over him?
Her eyes remained open with shock after he embraced her, his kiss swiftly breaking down her normal defenses, deteriorating her thoughts. She could feel her body beginning to relax, her eyes eventually shutting as her body finally accepted Sesshomaru's embrace despite one last tiny voice in her head demanding to know what the hell was going on here!
Unknowingly, she released yet another sigh of contentment, telling him she'd given in. Her lips gave way to his drive just as he felt her fingers at his shirt, gripping it tightly; with her comply, Sesshomaru began to dive deeper, drawing more passion out of them.
Lenezma's heart became filled with mixed emotions as his actions plunged into her heart. She felt so light and content, but the feelings of hate she bore for him blended in all at the same time, creating an irresistible sensation within her.
The fire place wavered dangerously, flicking wildly behind them.
Lenezma began to respond to his kiss as best she could, but she had never kissed anyone before, not a real kiss, and she was sure she was doing everything wrong, but that seemed to have little impact on Sesshomaru, so she continued to give back what she could to the domineering demon… Ung!
Her eyes shot wide as a sudden, horrible pain slammed atrociously into her heart, causing her body to tighten up immediately, her nerves bunching up; her hands flattened against his chest, pushing frantically.
Sesshomaru backed away at her abrupt tension, a thrilling rush flowing through him, satisfaction filling his chest like a breath of fresh air.
But Lenezma did not appear to share the same emotions, her unusual reaction leaving her in a bitter stupor as she backed away from him.
Lenezma's heart beat wildly, as if ready to implode. What had she done? She'd just made mouth-to-mouth contact with Sesshomaru, the most powerful demon she'd ever ran into and ruler of the lands that surrounded her on all sides! Am I freaking crazy?
Her nerves began to spasm, leaving her shaking where she stood, as if left in the freezing cold of a winter's night. She peered up at him, searching for an answer but only found more chest ache.
She attempted to regain her composure, but didn't fare well as she gazed uneasily up at him before forcing her eyes away, unable to look upon him. She backed further away from his reach quickly, her arms grasping the other in a fit of shivers.
She sensed several traces of different feelings in his eyes, even if they appeared normal. She could sense the bewilderment towards her actions, the sad, or better worded, disappointed look the most obvious as he stood there still staring at her with those beaut-
No! Don't look at him!
It was silent between the two, Len still feeling his eyes watching her every move with confusion, using all of her will power to keep from looking at him again.
"I… I have to go… I'm sorry…!" she cried out and ran from the room, heading straight to her bedroom as quickly as her legs could carry her, shutting the door behind her before collapsing on the bed, convulsing uncontrollably.
The fire filtered back to normal upon Lenezma's flight.
Sesshomaru, left standing alone in the fire room, replayed her fright in his head. He couldn't understand Lenezma; she practically wanted him to kiss her just a moment ago – she responded to his touch, she returned his kiss – and yet now that he did, she refused to look at him. He personally found it to be quite exhilarating, holding her in his arms with their lips joined. Those lips…
The memories of her soft, pink flesh against his lingered in his mind like a dog who's never forgotten his first belly rub.
But how did Lenezma feel? What was she feeling right now? Was it really so wrong of him to embrace her?
She was trembling. Just by looking at her he could feel her shaking. Was she nervous? Afraid? Afraid of… him?
What's wrong with me? I'm so stupid! Len thought miserably as she hugged her blankets tightly. And I'm still shaking! Why am I shaking?
Lenezma continued to yell at herself like this, over and over, unable to understand this strange trembling. Another fifteen minutes passed of constant questioning before her body finally began to calm itself.
She desperately wished to go find him and apologize again, better than she had before running out, but just the mere thought of it caused a wave of electricity through her spine, removing the option from her mind.
In the end, she finally managed to fall asleep on top of the bed, still curled up in a fetal position as if trembling in her sleep.
Sesshomaru…!