Screwed-Up Letters

by iliketurtles02

parody of The Screwtape Letters. Kyle, the advanced angel, has to give advice to Cartman, the angel in training, so that he can lead a human to a righteous life that will get him into heaven. The story is told through Kyle's letters. Warning that there might be kyman shipping teases.

11. letter 11: in sickness and in health

Dear Cartman,

Not quite better yet, but at least it's not as bad as yesterday. Advil works for angels. Who knew?

I just read your letter from today, and the one from last week. I was sicker then I thought, I didn't even notice that entire section you wrote about the friend. He has a name, apparently. Connie doesn't sound that righteous, but at least he's not dark and brooding. Not like Stan would want to go back to that. If my dad ever embarrassed me like that I wouldn't even wear black ever again.

Not that I would anyway.

Not like we have a choice in wearing anything but these faggy angel costumes. Don't tell God I said that though.

Your friend that wears a dress,

Kyle.

As in K-Y-L-E. NOT "sickie."