A/N: Yet again I want to apologize for not replying to reviews. I just don't have that much time on my hands currently and hope you appreciate it more when I revise the chapters instead. I want to thank everyone for leaving reviews. Thank you so much, you make my day! I'll post the outtake immediately after this. The final chapter should be up by the end of the week!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything THG related, that's all property of Suzanne Collins.

Chapter 9

The last few days at home have been tough, though James' attitude is improving each day. Slowly, yet, it is. I was fortunate that he was still sleeping when I left for work the first day; though I am under the impression that he does nothing but sleep all while I'm gone. Rue told me that he began to sob despite her attempts to calm him when I was at the theatre. And that was how I found them when I came home later - puffy-eyed, exhausted, and (because of that) asleep quickly.

Although this must have been some kind of reminder that I was coming back to him; that I did not abandon him again. I could still feel him tense up every time we were headed in the general direction of the apothecary. Fortunately for me - and for them I might add - I have seen and heard nothing of the Bukowskis' except for the delivery of James' possessions. I still didn't know what happened to him, what made him run away, but I hoped I would soon. I needed to know. It would hurt me too; this was the way we could begin to heal.

We've both been eyed suspiciously, of course. Mrs. Crane, naturally, couldn't hold back her tongue, yet I only smiled at her sweetly. Such an overly sweet mask that even she could tell it was insincere, and that has been unsettling her. And I could not help myself but enjoy it every time I saw her.

Johanna was coming back tomorrow, I heard, but only to pay a visit to her grandmother, who is said to be dying. I actually did hope to see her and her foul mouth again, if only to annoy Miss Trinket - who has been pestering me because she heard that someone's cousin's best friend's aunt said something about…and that's where she had lost me.

I decided to go today to Mr. Mellark's friend's party. Rue told me he had been more than delighted when she told him the news, as I was at a rehearsal and couldn't do so myself and if I am honest, I hadn't trusted myself to not draw back once face to face with him.

James was happily drawing beside my feet and I was anxiously waiting in my very best green dress for Mr. Mellark to arrive. He had promised to fetch me around 4pm and I forced myself to sit still for the last half hour. Rue was doing some needle work as she had to readjust a rip on the seam of my dress and decided she could continue with darning socks. I couldn't keep my concentration on anything like this right now if my life depended on it and I spend a lot of my strength trying to keep my hands still in my lap.

There's a tightness in my stomach that I haven't felt in a very long time. A happy nervousness, not like on stage, where I had to calm myself from stage fright, but something different. Something I couldn't put a name on.

"Stop fidgeting already, you will ruin your gloves before you have left the house", Rue admonished me, suppressing a smile. She hadn't been too happy to babysit today, but she was happy for me. Probably happier than I was myself about what I had gotten myself into.

"Tatty?", James asked for my attention. Without another word he held up the piece of paper he has been drawing on. The only thing I could say for sure is that he has been taking a new taste in darker colours. To me it was all just a swirl of dull grey, black, midnight blue and, surprisingly, specks of orange, but I'm sure there's some meaning behind it that I just don't get yet. He wanted to tell me something.

I stared on the paper trying to understand, to at least get a hint that I could tell him I knew, his eyes told me he expected as much. Or to at least come up with a line that made him think so, but my mind was void; trying to make sense of the whole.

"Is this what you see in your dreams", I finally asked, thinking that he has pictured some sort of nightmare. He has been waking up to the last two nights and was crying so hard I let him sleep in my bed again.

"Chamber", was the only answer he would give me.

"At …" What should I call him? Though he was his father, Mr. Bukowski did not deserve to be called that. "At the apothecary?" That's the most neutral thing that I can come up with. He nodded.

"Your room?" He shook his head, but before I could inquire him any further, there was a knock on the front door. James was startled, but soon relaxed, after obviously remembering that we were expecting Mr. Mellark. I thought it would be better to tell him so he wouldn't be afraid it might be the Bukowskis. As I jumped to my feet I am suddenly embarrassed and surprised about my own behaviour. I refused to take a look at Rue, afraid I might discover a grin on her face again.

"We'll talk later, okay, James? Just do as Rue tells you, be a good boy and you won't even notice that I am gone. I'll be back in no time."

"Promise?"

"Promise." This was getting our new ritual. I pressed a kiss to his forehead and waved Rue goodbye.

Then I straightened my skirt and headed out. "Mr. Mellark."

Of course it's Mr. Mellark, stupid, I scolded myself. A smile was spread across his face and I could tell with just one look that he has taken much effort in his appearance. He has straightened his hair back, was cleanly shaven and I believed I could smell a bit of cologne - the pleasant kind that did not burn your nostrils from the pure smell of alcohol like many of the cheap ones did.

Seeing his very well-tailored clothes I instantly wondered if my own five year old dress, despite it being the best I owned was enough. And how come a baker was wearing something like it? As if he could sense my inner discomfort, he complimented me on my attire and offered me his arm to lead me to a single horse carriage. Not one of those you could hire with a driver, but obviously his own.

My surprise must have shown somehow because he informed me that it was his father's. Strangely enough I haven't heard of any Mellarks in this town, but I didn't question it. We exchanged a few pleasantries when he asked about James, which I highly appreciated.

"So will you finally tell me where exactly we are heading to?" I asked him as he was offering to help me in. I was very aware of the only few inches that kept our bodies from touching, a strange sensation tingled through me.

"To my friends' party", he repeated and I could hear the amusement in his tone due to my impatience. But the place we were going to was an old house only about two miles out of town, surrounded by oak trees whose leaves were just turning red, and the afternoon sunlight bathed the area in the red and golden shades of fall.

This house must obviously be some sort of summer town house for wealthier people. Otherwise I couldn't explain the overly decorated outside of the old building, with an old stone lion whose left eye was damaged beyond repair, windows of the size of a door - some with coloured glass that no farmer would or could afford - and it was too small to be a permanent residence for someone from town. It looked so out of place surrounded by Mother Nature.

I accepted Mr. Mellark's hand as he led me out of the carriage. It still felt a bit like chivalry, but also it now came more naturally and unforced, or perhaps I was simply getting used to it. Unlike four months ago, the warmth of his touch did not make me uncomfortable anymore. I wondered if he felt the same, as he did not let go of my hand and rested it in the loop of his arm with a normalcy as if belonged there.

A butler walked out of the house in a steady pace, utterly unhurried, with a stoic face and led the horses away. Another one was holding the door open for us and as soon as I spotted the blonde person I assumed must be the host, I wished I owned something fancier, something that was not out of fashion for at least five years. Something to fit in this society - to fit to Mr. Mellark. It gave me an uneasy feeling. I should have been warned by his own suit but had not given it a second thought. I hoped that at least my hair had stayed in place during our drive. Whereas when she walked, gracefully so, not even the feather attached to the left side of her elegant knotted updo dared to move. Everything about her, her appearance, the cut of her white dress with the black bow around her cleavage, her demeanor and her carefully guarded smile screamed money.

"Peeta, I am so glad that you could come." Her high-pitched affected voice made cold shivers run down my spine. I let go of his arm immediately as it no longer felt right to take claim of it and I am sure the lady noticed also. She graciously lifted her hand so he could press a kiss onto its back while I could admire her perfectly white teeth in her purposefully innocent smile.

"Miss Everdeen, this is Glimmer Cresta", he introduced her. "She's an old friend of the family."

"Your mother had mentioned that you might bring a guest, but I wouldn't have guessed your new way of living would affect you so much." Perks of being an actress, I still could pretend to be confident. "I am so sorry that your parents couldn't make it." I could see Mr. Mellark stiffen from the corner of my eyes and my intuition was telling me that he wasn't. "Your mother has always so much taste in everything and I would have liked to have her opinion and advice on certain matters." And with that she gave me a derogatory glance. I only smirked at her sweetly. By her faltering smile it was more than obvious that she had hoped the insult would cause another reaction.

"I am very sure she will meet her one day, but now if you'll excuse us", Mr. Mellark said and Miss Cresta only raised her eyebrow as if questioning his statement, which, perhaps she was.

"I'm sorry for her bad behaviour," he murmured as soon as we were out of earshot. "I should have warned you."

"I am under the impression that there are a lot of things you haven't told me about. Beginning with how come that you are invited to such a party and ending in what she meant by saying your new way of living." I stopped in my tracks and forced him to face me.

"I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. My apologies. I … I was afraid you'd demand to be taken home instantly." Regret was written all over his face as he bit on his bottom lip and I believed him.

"Mr. Mellark, I understand your objections though I would have preferred to be prepared." Surprisingly, what I had meant to come out scolding was an admonishment, soft in tone.

"Would you have come with me if I had?"

"Probably not." I was serious, but I couldn't help but smile at him, making him chuckle.

"Let us greet some of the other guests and then I'll give you some of the details. I owe you that in the hope that you will give me another chance to explain myself in the future. I think it's enough time before we have to sit down at the table anyway."

It seemed to be one of those events for the rich who had nothing better to do than stay overnight in the countryside (yes, two miles out of town was absolutely to be considered countryside!) for a few days and do nothing but enjoy themselves.

A lot of those he introduced me to were like Miss Cresta, snobby and arrogant to the point of rudeness, giving me the feeling that I was completely out of place and unworthy, and only to be tolerated because of Mr. Mellark, making me wonder again who he really was. A Mr. Morris was the only one to show his indignation openly, when my– in their eyes– all but appropriate profession came up. Which is a funny thing considering the fact that it's those kind of people who can afford coming to the theatre on a regular basis. But actually getting to know them as people was beyond appropriate.

Only Annie Cresta was a nice young lady and the only one whose acquaintance was actually a pleasure to make. Unalike as they were physically and in character I could hardly believe she was the older sister of Miss Glimmer.

When we had finally greeted them all, to my dismay Mr. Odair was also among the guests who chose to ignore me, there was only some time left and as soon as we had retreated to a silent corner, the younger Miss Cresta came over with an excusing smile and insisted that Mr. Mellark would have to take a look at her newly acquired paintings upstairs. I bit my tongue. I had not known he was interested in paintings. In fact, I knew nothing at all. Mr. Mellark gave me a helpless shrug and mouthed something that I could not decipher. I think and expected it was meant to be an apology. And he offered her his arm to escort just as he had done to me when we had arrived. No, I was certainly nothing special; he had done it out of politeness earlier.

What I noticed also was that his limp was much better today than it usually was, when my eyes followed them as they vanished. I guessed it was because he had not had work all day.

"Don't they make a lovely couple?" An elderly lady said to another one loud enough for me to hear and I could not deny she was right. Though it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

When he had asked me to join him at a birthday party I had certainly not expected this, more like something in town, something more fitting to my own social standing. However Mr. Mellark happened to be a baker, I was now sure his parents weren't. He must have grown up like this, which made a lot of sense when I reconsidered the few things that I had noticed about him.

"He does not look at her like he looks at you." The older Miss Cresta, Annie, had approached me taking pity on me, or so it felt. I was sure she did not mean any harm, but in the meantime I felt bad for being here.

"But she looks more like him than I will ever." I looked down at my green gown that had looked so classy in my little home and was just a little better than a housemaid's uniform here. Every little wrinkle in the cloth was another reminder that I did not belong here.

When I almost took her silence as approval, she replied: "This means nothing to Peeta, believe me. He is simply too polite to refuse something to her. He's had his experience and he won't fall in that trap again. I'm almost sure of it."

"You mean he's been engaged?" I knew I should have held my tongue as soon as the words were out of my mouth so as to not embarrass myself any further.

"You don't know?" I shook my head and she seemed hesitant as she absent-mindedly curled a lock of hair around her forefinger that had escaped the complicated pile on her head.

"I'm not convinced whether I should be telling you this, but he's courted two young ladies of his mother's choice before. Both got engaged before they had the chance to get serious. The last one was the reason he left." Left? Where or should I ask whom from? I must have looked so dumbfounded that she added "How much do you know about him?"

"Not much." Could as well as admit it. "I know he is a baker. He's generous and kind. He must be from anywhere but Twelve since I haven't heard of any other Mellarks. He's a good dancer. He can be protective and he likes the theatre."

"Since he brought you here, I assumed … Look, Miss Everdeen. I am not one to gossip and it's really not my place to tell you anything more about him. All I'm saying is he is not what he must have looked like in your eyes until today."

"I guessed as much by now."

"Yes, you did", she suddenly smiled and made her melancholic expression go away. "He wouldn't consider anyone as dim-witted as Glimmer. I can see what he sees in you," Her laugh was like chiming bells and you wouldn't have imagined that from her rather dark voice.

"We are here as friends," I reminded her. I was introduced as such and right now I wasn't even sure that I was that after basically being told that the little I knew about him was all a charade. I could not help but feel betrayed as he had not trusted me enough to tell me.

"Miss Everdeen, don't be mad at him, he does not identify with most of the people here. He's as different as I am, he just took the chance that I had not."

"But still he brought me here and I thought we were going to a birthday party that wasn't this much out of my league," I uttered bitterly. From my seat I could see the stairs they had disappeared to and thus far I had not caught as much as a glimpse of Miss Cresta's dress among the guests. The thought of leaving crossed my mind and the longer I considered it, the more appealing it was. But Mr. Mellark deserved at least an explanation, though it was tempting to just go and ask Miss Cresta for a carriage to take me home, I was not running. I valued him too much despite his obvious lack of trust in me.

Miss Annie Cresta tried to distract me with small talk, the weather and even my singing, promising to come soon to see the show next time they were here, and I was grateful for that, not doing more than nod or insert a few words every now and then, even though I couldn't help throwing glances towards the stairs hoping to see if the familiar figure might appear again. To the other guests I was now close to invisible, if it was because of Miss Cresta's presence or because they lost their interest in gossiping about me I did not care.

They came back when the meal was announced and nothing but relief flooded through me when I spotted him. I ignored that her hand still rested on his arm as he nervously looked for me. His eyes flickered until he had spotted me also and his face brightened when he did. Carefully, he freed himself and made his way over to us. This small gesture made the resentment I felt a little better.

"I'm truly sorry for the wait. I really tried to hurry, but there is only so much I can do. But I'm glad you found someone to keep you company. You couldn't have made a better choice."

"I think you should be rather glad that she hasn't left yet", my companion chimed in in nothing but disarming honesty. Had I been this blatantly obvious?

"I hope she hasn't considered it?" He ran his hand at the nape of his neck, looking at me anxiously for denial or approval of her statement.

"I'm almost sure of it. If I had been in her place, I would have contemplated it. If you'll excuse me, I think Grandma Cresta needs some assistance."

"I'm truly sorry." Though I was still angry about him leaving me alone, I had forgiven him as I knew it was not his fault.

"Before Glimmer has other ideas in mind…" He winked at me and offered his arm again to escort me to the table, but now it had lost a bit of its meaning to me. Speaking of which, she was approaching us.

"Oh, Peeta, you have the seat right next to me, I'm afraid Miss Evermean will have to sit with Annie at the end of the table as I was not sure about her attendance. I hadn't her name in my guest list and I wouldn't have wanted to leave a seat empty, now would I?" If there was one person whose only aim it was to affect the men by pretending to be naïve, it was her. Of course she had done this on purpose, even if she had been unsure she could have still changed it when we arrived and she didn't. "Next time, I have to plan another one for her little son everyone has been talking about." She might not know better but still insulting me on purpose by pointing out James as my son and hence directly questioning my reputation was inappropriate and she knew it. Her intention to me was clear and I didn't need to guess how much she enjoyed to using this "fact" against me.

If it hadn't been for Mr. Mellark's reassuring squeeze at the right time telling me that he did not agree with her on the matter of my character, I'm sure I would have lost my temper. The moment of his touch had been so short that it most likely had gone unnoticed by everyone else. I counted to ten in my head, ignoring the hum of their chattering, until I felt calm enough.

"Now I'm seriously considering walking home, even if it's rude", I muttered under my breath to myself, almost inaudibly, but Mr. Mellark must have heard it though as he took my hand again, this time a moment longer. I felt that strange tingling satisfaction running through me. The warmth of his hand still lingered on mine when he already had let go.

"I'll come over to you when I have Miss Everdeen seated", he promised her curtly.

"Sure you do, always the gentleman, Peeta. That is what I and my father appreciate about you", she chirped and hurried away to bother someone else with her personality.

"Please don't leave, Miss Everdeen. I have been looking forward to it all week and I would be upset to have this moment spoilt by Glimmer." We still hadn't moved an inch from the spot where I had sat with the other Miss Cresta.

I hadn't meant to mention it yet, but as soon as the first words had left my mouth, all piled up anger burst out. "Those people here, I don't fit to their standards. You may seem a baker, but you are a gentleman of another kind, Mr. Mellark. I can see that now that you are equal to them in social standing, though you are much nicer. I don't belong in this world, I'm too different, and no matter how much I might wish it to be otherwise I'm sure that my absence is more welcomed than my being here." When I saw his face, I added calmly as every feeling of annoyance had been let out "Not by you, of course, as you invited me, maybe also not from the elder Miss Cresta, but the rest …"

"I understand, Miss Everdeen." It was a tone that I thought I'd never hear in a man's voice. To me it sounded like defeat. "Please excuse me, I should have known better."

It hurt to see him like that, shoulders slumped, his mouth pressed into a tight line, and knowing I was the cause of it. And suddenly I also understood something else. If I left, there was no going on. Only the way back to a simple salesman/customer relationship. This was not an insult I could apologize for and would eventually be forgiven. No matter if I told him this had nothing to do with him as a person the cut would be inevitably deeper. His eyes were fixed on a point behind me, which made me uneasy. Did he not dare to look at me?

It was my decision which way to go. My fingers grazed the texture of his suit as my hand automatically found its way around his arm again and fetched him out of his trance. His questioning gaze met mine.

"Please lead me to the table, Mr. Mellark", I said more confident than I actually felt inside.

"Are you sure?" I turned towards him again still keeping enough distance to not look compromising. In that moment Miss Cresta's words replayed my mind. He's not looking at her like he's looking at you. And maybe, hopefully, she was right, that the display of friendliness he had shown towards the younger Miss Cresta had just been that. I could not name everything that was present on his face, yet I was certain I could see a shimmer of hope, vulnerability and astonishment in his eyes. And something else. And the prospect it held still scared me, but it was the first time I allowed myself the thought that perhaps I should give it a try.

"What kind of friend am I to you, if I am disheartened that easily?"

"Thank you." And he was all earnest.

The meal went in silence for me as Miss Annie Cresta was being entertained by Mr. Odair himself. I let my gaze wander towards her hand but there was no sign of a ring, so she was not the poor soul he was engaged to. Or maybe he had disengaged himself once again; it wasn't the first time and I would have hardly kept up with the gossip even if I had been interested in it. I considered warning Miss Cresta, but something made me believe she knew of his reputation all along and I sincerely crossed my fingers she wouldn't fall for his undeniable charms.

I also couldn't help but look over to Mr. Mellark once in a while, watching him interact politely with Miss Cresta, helping her with the dishes, kindly offering the lady his right whom I guessed was Mrs. Cresta to a lobster sandwich.

And before he set down the plate, he caught me staring at him. A warm smile spread across his face and I felt my cheeks flush as I quickly looked away hoping no one had seen our silent exchange.

As soon as it was polite to leave the table, a few gentlemen retreated to have a smoke, Miss Glimmer Cresta had hurried off to where I did not care and Mr. Mellark was coming over to me, asking me if he might have the first two dances. When I hesitated he reminded me of how great our last one at Delly's had been, which he was sorry to say was too long ago. I still knew that he had not been fond of it at that time, and I myself could not say I was more than I had been back then, but I remembered it as if it had been yesterday. He promised to tell me about himself soon, but certainly not here and I agreed with him on that.

When the first tunes began playing on the gramophone, we looked for the darkest corner to dance. If this was for his benefit or for my own, I could not say and it was still a bit awkward to find our rhythm, but eventually we did. I was closer to him than I maybe should be in this uptight society, but the excitement that coursed through me let me forget all caution. I was not afraid of making a wrong step, though I did often enough. I let him guide me and we were probably far from being the best dancers in the room, but I understood that that was not the point. It was also not the dancing itself nor the little talk we did, it was all about losing yourself in the moment and I found it easy to do with Mr. Mellark.

So when he asked me if he could see me again the following Sunday, all I could say was: "I'll allow it."