We'll Get Through It
Uncertain
Gohan didn't know what was happening to him.
He was torn up in all these feelings that he did not understand.
The boy didn't know why he got in so upset when he saw his father. Thinking about after all his tears dried up; he was actually a little relieved his father came back.
He was glad he wasn't gone.
Like he was in the future.
Since Gohan had been back on Earth, his emotions were all over the place. He knew it had to be from the nightmares, the flashbacks, sneaking out behind his mother's back, and the mixture of feelings that always seem to be stirring up inside of him.
Being the researcher that he was, a few months ago Gohan researched (behind his mother's back and before his father returned) his recent change in behavior and discovered that he was likely suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental heath condition that accords after a traumatic or terrifying event in one's life. Symptoms were: Repeated flashbacks, recurring dreams, trouble sleeping, outburst of anger, intense distress if exposed to anything resembling the event, loss of interest, negative emotions, and triggers. People with this mental illness struggle in adjusting back to their normal life routines. For treatment seek a mental health professional.
Gohan instantly felt disgusted in himself.
Piccolo didn't seem to have any issues.
Nothing seemed to bother Krillin after they returned from Namek.
Even after the things that happened to Bulma on Namek, which wasn't as intense as to what happened to him-he knew that-but even so, Bulma never seemed worried about anything.
Vegeta sure as hell didn't have any problems.
Then the thought of his father, Son Gokuu, have any kind of stress in his life seemed impossible.
So what was the problem with him? Why did these things bother him?
For a little while, it seemed like he was slowly starting to get better. Although he still had the dreams, and the flashbacks, he was starting to get along with his mother again. She use to be so upset at him, and until recently she was a lot calmer around him.
Now with his father back, it seemed to hit him like a brick.
It was embarrassing to cry in front of Piccolo, to be so weak in from of his mentor who was so strong. When the tears were done, he moved away from his mentor, whipping his face.
When he finally looked over at Piccolo, he saw the disgusted look on Piccolo's face when he looked down at his now wet gi. Gohan was about to apologize when Piccolo looked up at him.
"Let's train." Piccolo began to take off his cape, pulling it above his shoulders and tossing it to the side.
"Train?" Gohan asked, whipping his eyes, "Piccolo-san, I haven't slept since—"
Piccolo narrowed his eyes at his student, and Gohan knew it was best not to complain.
"You think the androids are going to care about your well being during a fight?" Piccolo cracked the side of his neck.
"Um, no," Gohan looked down, "Sir."
"Then get ready, because I won't go easy on you." Piccolo got into his stance, "Attack me."
Gohan nodded, squaring his body into his fighting stance, and charged towards his teacher.
Gokuu eye darted off in the distance, sensing Gohan and Piccolo training with one another.
He instantly felt relief.
He and Chi-Chi had been sitting on the bed for the last thirty minutes, and tension between them was a little high. It felt like after he tried to—have sex with her, and she stopped him, he almost felt like they should start talking again.
Either one did not know how to start the conversation. Or what the conversation should be about.
He offered to leave the room, to let her be alone, but she asked him to stay.
So now they were sitting awkwardly near each other, not looking at one another, not talking. He almost wished she just let him leave.
He was a little jealous of Piccolo and Gohan, he could sense that they were getting a good spar in. He wanted to join them.
"Gokuu-sa," his wife softly spoke his name, taking his thoughts away from Gohan and Piccolo.
He turned to look at his wife; she was glancing out the window. He couldn't help but to think how beautiful she looked. Her hair coming loose from her bin, the scarf tied around her shoulders was untied and hanging off one of her shoulders. He always liked her best when she was not proper.
"Do you think…" his wife paused, still glancing out the window; he could her struggling with the question that was on her mind.
He placed his hand on her ankle. It was an automatic response. Something he always did when they were talking in bed. She glanced at him then, and he saw a glisten of tears in her eyes, "Do you think Gohan-chan is calm enough?"
Gokuu perked his ears at the question, "What do you mean?"
Shrugging her shoulders, she gave out a long sigh, "I mean. I don't want him to get angry…"
"Oh, he's not angry, he's training." Gokuu answered honestly, "I can sense him with Piccolo."
Chi-Chi narrowed her eyes; Gokuu knew that she hated Gohan fighting. Every time the subject came up, her mood would instantly change.
"You know its this whole fighting thing that made him the way he is," she sad flatly, standing up from the bed, walking over towards the window, leaning against the window frame, "He was such a sweet, gentle boy before all this."
"He still is," Gokuu answered, since Chi-Chi got off the bed, he leaned back into it, his elbows resting on the mattress, he watched her, "He keeps fighting because he is a good kid, Chi."
"He needs a break from all this," Chi-Chi turned around, her hands on her hips, "It's too much for him."
"He's fine Chi—"
"NO HE IS NOT." Chi-Chi screamed, her hands balling into fist, she leaned her body forward, her shoulders square, and her back tight and rigged, "How do you think he's fine after all this? Our little boy is out of control. How many times do I have to tell you that? Don't you get it? Can't you tell?"
He knew his son was not fine. In fact, none of them were fine. Yet, sensing his son's training session with Piccolo, he knew his son couldn't stop fighting. Not now. Not when he could sense how much his son was improving.
Not with the future being so uncertain.
When he saw his son he wanted to tell Gohan that he could stop if he wanted too. He wanted to support Gohan in whatever he wanted to do.
Yet, sensing his training during the moments he was with his wife realized how big of a mistake it would be if he stopped. Gohan had so much potential.
He just needed these three years.
"I know we have problems right now," Gokuu stood up from his bed, walking over to his wife. When he approached her she crossed her arms, looking down at the ground. As softly as he could, Gokuu placed both of his hands on Chi-Chi's arms, bending his head down, catching her eyes. She looked back up at him, "Gohan can't stop training, not right now anyway."
"Why do you need him?" He heard his wife whisper, "Why do you need him? Why do you need my little boy?"
Gokuu moved his hands up and down Chi-Chi's arms, trying to comfort her, "It's a hard thing to talk about, Chi."
Chi-Chi took a step back, "Well, if you want me to understand, you are going to have to tell me. "
Gokuu nodded his head, sitting back down on the bed. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "You know how I told you about the future guy, and how two androids are going to be here in three years?" He waited for Chi-Chi to nod her head before going on, "Well, in three years everyone dies. Everyone but Gohan."
Chi-Chi gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth, eyes wide open the information.
Gokuu nodded his head, "That's why he needs to train."
"Even you?" She asked him, the question almost caught Gokuu off guard.
He really didn't want to tell her all this. His wife was always worried about their safety, and even though they were warned about the future. He knew that his wife would still worry. He hated making her like this; he wanted her to be happy, carefree, and safe.
That never felt like it was going to happen.
He knew he had to tell her.
"Well, no, I don't die then." He said, sighing, he wanted to look away, but he had to look at her. He had to be honest with his wife, "I die a year before."
"What?" Tears instantly appear in her eyes, "What do you mean? You die? How, what—"
"A heart virus," Gokuu stood up, and in an instant he had her in his arms. He felt her shaking against him, he held her a little tighter, aware within himself not to hold her too tightly, "Its okay, I don't want you to worry about it. I was given medicine so that won't happen."
He felt his wife punch his chest, "How could you not tell me this? How could you not tell me that you are sick?"
"I'm not sick," he grabbed her wrist before she was able to punch him again, "And I won't be. I have the cure, Chi-Chi. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't want to make you worry."
He slowly let go of her hand, and he could see his wife within herself. Her tears still falling down her face, she kept shaking her head, as if she was trying to convince herself that he wasn't going to die right in front of her. Finally, she rested her forehead against his chest.
He didn't look down at her, he looked out the window, "Our son is strong. I just want him to be prepared. Just in case…"
"What if he survives because he isn't there," his wife pulled away from him, looking into his eyes, "I don't want him to fight, Gokuu, I don't want him to be hurt."
"Chi-Chi, think about it," he had to give her a small smile then, "Do you really think our son would sit by and let our friends get hurt without trying to help them?"
"I guess not," she shrugged, her eyes casted off to the side.
"Just in case the future can't be changed…" Gokuu said as soft as he could, "Our son survived for a reason. I will do everything in my power to make sure he is ready for it."
A straight punch to the face.
It was enough for Gohan to forget everything. To forget the problems at home. To forget his lack of sleep. To forget all the emotions that floated in his head.
His body fell backwards until he hit the ground, hard, feeling the bruises starting to form on his back. Whipping the side of his mouth, seeing the blood on his hand, Gohan gave out a low growl, before jumping up towards Piccolo again.
His mentor always had this weird thing about training; he always made it a personal goal to hit him in the face. Sometimes he even kept score on how many times he could do it.
Piccolo never told Gohan this, but every once in a while Gohan could hear what Piccolo was thinking. They had a strong telepathic link through their mediations. Every once in a while, their thoughts would slip between each other.
Gohan was able to keep out his personal life out of his mind while they trained, but failed to keep his fighting strategy to himself. Every once in a while, he would let his plan slip out of his mind.
Piccolo always smirked when this happened, and sometimes Gohan didn't realize his mistake until it was too late.
Which had just happened.
Piccolo had punched him in the face three times today.
Gohan wasn't able to land a good hit.
Jumping back to his feet, Gohan flew towards his mentor. Piccolo was ready for him, firing ki blasts at him. Gohan was able to dodge each one, fazing in and out as he made his way towards Piccolo.
One of the things Piccolo told Gohan while training was to keep an eye out for were his opponent's weaknesses. This is one of the ways that Piccolo was such a great teacher. He was able to make up a weakness each time they trained.
Every time they trained, there was something small that Piccolo did that was considered a weakness that he had to figure out. As soon as Gohan figured out what the weakness was, Piccolo would give him a single nod, and their spar would continue on. Gohan knew that Piccolo did this so he would make sure to pay attention to his enemy during battle.
Piccolo was such a great actor he wondered if he ever had a real weakness that Gohan couldn't figure out.
Today's weakness, Gohan realized, that Piccolo would blink before he powered up for a big attack. It wasn't a lot of blinking, it wasn't even an abnormal blink; it was just one single blink before powering up.
Piccolo always had steady eyes, so this was a clear red flag.
So when Gohan passed all the small energy blasts and flew up towards the Namek, his mentor blinked, and suddenly a large blast formed in Piccolo's hands.
Gohan raised his power level, brought his hands in front of him just as Piccolo released his attack.
In reality Piccolo was much stronger then Gohan. Yet, in their training sessions they remained evenly matched. For this attack, Piccolo raised his power level high. Higher then Piccolo normally released when they were training together.
This attack, if he wasn't prepared for it, might have been too much.
Feeling the blast against his hands, Gohan held the blast in front of him. He felt the weight of the power as it pushed towards him. The boy held the blast back. He felt as the energy wanted to move past him, he felt, as it wanted to consume him.
He would do all he could to make sure that would not happen.
He dug inside of him; looking for that a flicker of light that was deep of his chest. He felt the light consume him. It was how he was able to visualize his power. A solid glowing light. He hated taking away from his light. He hated dimming the glow inside of him.
Yet, when it came to protecting his family and friends, sacrifices had to be made.
Finding the power within him, Gohan pushed the energy ball away, tossing it over his head and into the sky. The ball flew up until it disappeared within the sky.
Glancing back at his mentor, Piccolo gave Gohan a single nod.
It took Chi-Chi a moment to calm down.
Her husband had just dropped a huge bomb on her.
Not only was her son was going to be the only surviving warrior in some horrible battle against two killer machines, but her husband was suppose to die from a heart virus.
The dragon couldn't bring back someone who died from a natural cause.
The thought of her future shattered her.
Yet, her husband assured her that he got the cure for his virus, and as soon as he got sick, all he had to do was take the medicine and it would fix him.
It still worried her. She made him grab the medicine and show it to her just to prove that he had it. As soon as she saw the bottle, read the instructions, she held the pills to her chest, "Thank Kami for this future boy."
Gokuu put his hand on top of hers, "I promise, it will all be okay."
Leaning against her husband's chest, she had to remind herself not to be so angry with him all the time. She had to learn to let some things go.
She was still mad at him about leaving; there were still so many things they had to figure out together.
Yet, if their time together was numbered, she didn't want to waste any of it.
"I love you." She said, searching for his hand without looking down, when she found it, she laced her fingers in his.
"I love you, Chi," he responded, squeezing her hand ever so slightly.
They stayed leaning against one another. The human woman couldn't help but to touch the saiyan in front of her. It was nice to be able to feel him again, to smell him, to be able to lean on him.
"I miss Gohan," she heard her husband breath, resting his head on top of hers.
"I miss him too," she squeezed his hand back in return.
"Do you think he'll be able to forgive me?" Her husband asked aloud.
She looked up at her husband, and when his eyes looked down at her, she was able to see the regret in his eyes.
She knew her husband; he was always the go-happy type of man. He was always the one who brought a smile to someone's face. Her husband was a leader, he was the center of the room, he was the sun.
"Of course he will," she leaned forward, giving him a light, gentle kiss, "He's your son."
Chi-Chi still had to get use to the instant transmission; being transported instantly gave the mother a light head when she landed back on her feet. She didn't have to look up to hear Piccolo and Gohan training above them.
Her and Gokuu had talked; they planned to take Gohan home and to have a talk with him about everything that has been going on.
They had spent the last two days not talking, and to be frank she was getting sick of it.
She looked up at her husband, he was watching as their son was sparring with Piccolo. He had a look across his face that she knew was only reserved for Gohan.
Chi-Chi decided to look up as well.
She had never seen Gohan fight, and to be honest she never had an interest to watch him. She wanted to keep Gohan's fighting and Gohan's home life in separate spaces. Although she use to practice martial arts, when she became a mother that whole part of her life vanished the moment she looked at her son. They lived in peace for so long, she didn't realize how quickly that could all be taken away.
Her eyes caught onto her son, she watched as he dodged a punch from Piccolo. She gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. That punch was way too close to her son's face.
Gohan instantly looked down at her. Frozen.
Piccolo looked like he was about to press on with an attack, but his eyes wandered down at her and Gokuu, and he stopped.
Piccolo and Gohan gave each other a side ways glance, before floating down to the ground .
She felt Gokuu grab onto her hand, squeezing her hand softly. When she looked up at him, his eyes were fixed on their son. Chi-Chi followed his gaze; her son looked so tired. She knew that he had no sleep, and he was still keeping up with his training.
It amazed her.
When Piccolo and Gohan landed in front of them. No one said anything. Gokuu tried is best not to slump his shoulders forward like he always did when he was nervous, but his head was slightly bent down as he looked at his son. Gohan's eyes stayed to the floor, putting his arms behind his back, leaning his body slightly forward. Piccolo was there, but Chi-Chi didn't really pay attention to what he was doing, he always looked the same to her.
She had a feeling that both of the males in her life wouldn't be the ones who would speak first. So, she spoke for them.
"Gohan-chan," Chi-Chi started, she waited for her son to look up at her, "Its time to go home."
Piccolo grunted, turning his head away from the Sons. Chi-Chi wasn't sure if he was upset at Gohan having to leave or having to witness the conversation between them. His feelings didn't matter to her.
Gohan looked over at his mentor, before looking back at his mother, "Mom, I'm not done training yet."
"We can train tomorrow," her husband answered before she could, "We have a lot to talk about, son."
Gohan looked back towards the ground, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. In the back of his mind, he knew he had to go home. He knew that his father wanted to talk to him, he knew his mother was worried about him, and he knew he needed to get a little bit of sleep in. Yet, something was holding him back.
Things seem to feel so much better when he wasn't at home. He had enjoyed living in the out doors again, to sit next to Piccolo by the fire, to hunt for his food. He enjoyed letting his mind wonder as he drew math equations in the dirt. Everything felt better when he wasn't at home.
Gohan looked up at both of them, "I don't think I should come home right now."
Chi-Chi and Gokuu looked one another; normally their son was obedient when they told him to do something. He might have had a habit of sneaking out, but he was never one to disobey them.
At first, Chi-Chi didn't understand what her son was trying to say. She let go of her husband's hand, putting both of her hands on her hips, "Excuse me?"
Gohan stood still, as if he was trying not to make any big movements in front of his parents, "I think things would be better if I didn't come home for a while."
"It doesn't matter what you think," Chi-Chi answered, her voice rising, "You listen to me youn—"
"I've done it before mom," Gohan took a step forward, "I know how to take care of myself. I know how to hunt; I could live in the cave I lived in when I was out here before. I can even get a job. I promise I'll study; I'll use the money I have to buy books. I'll even go to Cram School to get ready for my entrance exams. Piccolo-san and I can keep training for the Androids too."
Gohan thought of every excuse he could in his mind to convince his parents that he didn't want to go home. He never thought about not going back home with his parents before. All this was an impulse thought that entered his mind, but the more he talked about it, the more he convinced himself that he didn't want to come home.
"I know about Dad sleeping on the couch the other night," suddenly, he was talking about something that the boy knew he shouldn't talk about, especially in front of mixed company, "Don't you think it would be better for you and Dad if I just didn't come home right now?
Gokuu looked back at his wife and son in a little bit of confusion.
He never heard his son talk back before, but that wasn't the thing that was bothering him. It was the fact that his son was able to tell that him and Chi-Chi were having problems. They always made sure to be careful about their relationship in front of Gohan. Chi-Chi had told him that it was important for parents to be on a team, to be a constant in their child's life.
He was beginning to see why that was so important.
"Gohan," Gokuu spoke up, his voice was shocked, "I don't want you to think that we don't—"
Gohan cut his father off, "Dad, I know you're mad at me, and I know that you and mom are mad at each other too, but-"
"You don't get to decide things like that," Chi-Chi took another big step towards their son, "When we say it's time to come home. Its time to come home. You are a child. If you think I am going to allow you to live out in the wilderness by yourself… You have another thing coming."
"I can take care of myself. You know that mom. Haven't I proven that I can do everything you ask of me?" Gohan answered back.
Chi-Chi shook her head, "The only thing you have proven to me is you are turning into a delinquent and I will not allow that."
"That's not fair," Gohan, shouted then, "I can take care of myself. I don't have to go home."
Gohan's power started to rise, slightly. It was enough for Gokuu to glance over at Piccolo.
Piccolo's eyes were on Gohan, feeling the instant change in his ki. The Namek uncrossed his arms, watching and preparing for what was happening next. He felt the Namek's power starting to rise.
Chi-Chi couldn't sense power levels, Gokuu knew that, but something shifted around them that made his wife take a step back. She reached back for his hand, and it was that instant he realized that his wife was scared of their son.
This couldn't go on anymore.
Gokuu let go of his wife's hand. He felt as she took another step back, trying to find his body behind her. Instead, Gokuu grabbed her shoulder, slightly pushing her behind him.
Once his hand left his wife's shoulder, he used his instant transmission and stood behind his son. He placed his hand on the back of his son's neck. "You do not talk back to your mother," Gokuu's voice was low, his eyes staring down at Gohan.
Gohan felt his father's hand on his neck before he had a chance to realize what he was doing.
He felt his power level starting to rise.
He instantly lowered it. His father's words ringing in his ears.
What was going on with him?
"I'm sorry," he could feel his voice hollow as he said the words.
It was a stupid thought to think his mother would let him go.
Chi-Chi sighed in relief. She didn't like the fact that she was scared of her son, but a little part of her was.
It was a relief to know that Gokuu was there.
"Piccolo, sorry for cutting your training short," Gokuu glanced back at the Namek, "But we have to head home."
Piccolo nodded, his eyes darting back at Gohan. Gohan eyes' glanced back over at the Namek.
"I'm sorry, Piccolo-san." Gohan softly said.
Piccolo shrugged, "Just go home and deal with this."
There was something between them, Chi-Chi thought to herself, as she watched the Namek and her son look at each other. There was something between them that neither her nor her husband could ever get from him.
It was at that moment she realized that her son and Piccolo were friends. Real friends.
Things were hard for all of them right now. She realized that her son needed a friend. It was a little upsetting that he had no friends his age, and all he had in his life was this green alien. Yet, it couldn't be helped.
It was the way things were.
Gokuu gently pushed their son towards her. When he got close to her, she put her hand on his shoulder, then reached out and put her other hand on her husband's shoulder.
Within a blink, the family disappeared.
Gohan was so tired.
As soon as his father transported him back to the house, he felt the walls closing in.
He didn't even look back at his parents as he started walking up toward his room.
"Gohan…" he heard his father softly say. He didn't turn around; he didn't even acknowledge his father calling out his name.
"Let him go," he heard his mother say as he started up the staircase, "He needs some sleep."
He felt his parents' eyes on him as he reached the top of the staircase and walked towards his room.
When the boy reached his room, he opened it as softly as he could, and closed it just as gently. The moment he heard the door connect with the frame, he leaned his back against the door, and let his body slide down to the floor.
He pulled his knees to his chest, resting his head against his knees, the boy's eyes landed on the ruined desk and books he left on the ground just the day before.
For some reason his vision flashed to a time when he was only four years old, inside Raditz's small little space ship. He felt his body as it curled into himself, he felt trapped, he felt scared.
He felt alone.