Disclaimer-still don't own Twilight or anything within
Author's Note- Thank you for all the amazing reviews last chapter!! I broke 100!!!!!! A special thanks to Sofi, , and hoplessromanticatheart, there was no way to reply to you guys soo I wanted to give you all a special thanks!!!!
I also have to thank 4ever Outspoken and her words of encouragement and her daily flattery to get me to write faster LOL
Big thank you to A Cullen Wannabe as usual she saved me from making embarrassing grammar and spelling mistakes thank you girlie!!!!
This is the much awaited EPOV chapter, please enjoy!! I'm going to try and get a couple polyvore links up to what the girls are wearing as well if you want to check that out!! Also the title of this chapter is a song from The Airborne Toxic Event, it's a good song I recommend it lol!
"Sometime Around Midnight"
I kept my eyes trained on the doorway and the large expanse of people waiting for Jasper and her to come back in. I still couldn't quite put my finger on what was running through Jasper's head. He wanted me to move on and pick up the pieces of me and now he was taking the best thing I had came across since Bella to talk or whatever it was he had planned.
Bella was always the angel of my nightmares, I missed her so fucking much that most of the time I couldn't tell if it was day or night. My life turned into a dark hole of monotony. At first I had absolutely despised Emmett and Jasper for dragging me on this trip. They thought it would help me forget.
I didn't want to forget, I needed Bella, she was everything to me and one stupid fucking mistake screwed it up. I'm a monster that doesn't deserve to forget, I hurt her. She was the one I really loved and would always love until I could see that she moved on and had found someone better then me.
Their efforts to get me to 'get back in the game' as Emmett put it were almost a lost cause until I saw her standing by the bar fiddling with her cell phone. Her long creamy white legs begged for me to touch them and her brown hair reminded me greatly of Bella's but it was a little bit darker.
When she looked up at me my breath faltered and I'm pretty sure my heart skipped a beat as well. Her face was long and absolutely gorgeous; the way she nibbled at her lip when she was nervous or worried drove me nuts, in a good way.
I wanted to tell her everything that I had been through, every damned emotion that I had raging through my body. I felt that I had to; there was just something about her. I could feel from her that she could help me put myself back together; she was what I needed to become whole. Something told me that her life hadn't been that easy either and that maybe, just maybe, we could fix each other. She was my missing piece.
I had always thought that Bella was my one and only but meeting her shifted my prospective, she had everything I was looking for. She was funny, witty, compassionate, and confident.
Bella was never confident and it drove me nuts that she never saw herself like I did, and no matter how much I tried to convince her other wise she would never listen. That was one of the reasons why I did what I did on that fateful night.
Tanya was always so confident and she had always been interested in me. She was Kate's older sister and happened to be home from college. We had met up a few times and hung out, but nothing more than that. But the night of the party it hit me that my high school years were over and I really had only been with one girl, Bella. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe we were moving too fast and if we were just staying together for a matter of convenience.
Boy did I get a slap in the face that night! Not only was I disgusted with myself, the love of my life showed up and caught whatever was about to happen, it was a cruel poetic justice.
I was so afraid that I would be "stuck" with Bella, and at the end of it all that was what I actually wanted. Looking at my friends who went from girl to girl I had thought I wanted that at the time, I thought it was just what teenagers did. I just wish to this day that I had gotten right up after her and followed her and explained. My life would be so different if I had.
I was so young and stupid back then. I didn't know how good I had it, but that was the past and this is now. If what happened that fateful night hadn't occurred, I wouldn't be chasing after a girl named Izzy who has everything I could ever want and more. I just had to keep reminding myself to put one foot in front of the other and not look back.
Alice and I danced together for a few dances, getting bored waiting for Jasper and Iz to come back in. It was nice dancing with her, but it was nothing like the electrifying feeling I felt touching Iz.
Finally I caught a glimpse of Jasper pushing and shoving his way through the crowd making his way to us. When he got to us I could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves. He grabbed Alice by the arm and pulled her away, taking her off to a secluded corner.
I was thoroughly confused; Alice and I were just keeping each other occupied while they were out talking. All we were doing was dancing, innocently in my opinion. I looked over and saw that Emmett had the same confused bewildered look on his face that I was pretty sure was also on my face.
Jasper and Alice finally reappeared; Alice looked as if she was a deer in headlights. You could clearly see the whites of her eyes. She grabbed Rose and whispered something into her ear. "Um, sorry we have to go!" Rose yelled while pulling Alice towards the door.
"What the hell just happened dude?" Emmett grabbed Jasper by the shoulder and pulled him closer to us so that we weren't yelling as badly over the music.
"I uh went out and started talking to Iz and she got sick," Jasper was nervously playing with the hem on the bottom of his shirt, something was off. "I got her into a cab and she went back to the hotel."
"Poor Spoons she prolly drank too much." Emmett had taken to calling Iz Spoons after the first day we met her and talked to her.
"Yeah, I guess," I nervously ran my hand through my hair. I couldn't help but shake the feeling that she left because of me not because of some alcohol. That would be just my fucking luck. I finally start to get close to a girl again and then I scare her off. Way to go Cullen!
"Ya'll wanna get out of here?" Jasper started to walk through the crowd not even waiting for a response or us; Emmett looked at me and raised an eyebrow. He noticed that something was going on as well.
Making it outside we saw Jasper standing by the parking lot waiting for us leaned up against my car with his arms crossed. I threw my keys at him. Originally I didn't plan on drinking but when I saw her there and dancing with another guy I needed a ego booster.
The car ride was absolutely silent. I didn't think Emmett was even breathing over all the car radiated an eerie feeling, something that reminded me of impending doom. I wanted to ask Jasper what the hell went on so badly but I couldn't get my mouth to cooperate. I didn't really have a reason to question the validity of his story with out seeming accusing.
When we got back into our room Jasper stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door, eventually we heard the shower turn on. Emmett flopped in the chair in front of the TV and turned on some action movie.
My mind was elsewhere. I was internally debating whether or not to go and knock on her door. If she was sick I wouldn't mind seeing her, I needed to know that she was ok and that she didn't leave because of something I did. I know I pushed my boundaries tonight but I didn't want her to feel like I was shoving her along with me. I kept pacing back and forth almost making it to the door and then deciding to turn around at the last minute.
Eventually Emmett noticed the track I was slowly wearing in the carpet. "Dude, just go over there and knock on the door already. You're driving me freaking nuts pacing like a fucking cat on a hot tin roof." Jesus I must have been obvious if Emmett noticed, I gave him a quick nod and headed out the door.
I stood looking at the door like it would electrocute me if I touched it. I raised my hand a few times to try to knock, but ended up chickening out. I had no clue what I was doing or how to go about it.
Bella broke me so long ago and I had no one that I felt worthy enough of to want to try and put myself back out there for. I fucked our lives up so bad for nothing. If only she had stayed around I could have explained to her what happened and begged her to stay. I didn't think I could fully move on from Bella without seeing her just once and making sure she was ok.
Maybe that was why I was so interested in Iz, she reminded me so much of Bella, personality and looks wise. Granted she was ballsier then Bella but hell that was one of the things I found more endearing about her. I needed someone who would keep me in my place and pick my sorry ass up and throw me back out there.
Finally I apprehensively knocked on the door. I needed Iz and whether she knew it yet, she was who would put me back together. I could have shitless if she was puking, I wanted to be the one there holding her hair rubbing her back telling her that she was going to be ok, I felt a primal need to be in there with her.
"Oh it's you Edward?" Rose's tone caught me off guard. Something was defiantly up, I tried to look around her and see if I could see Iz anywhere but there wasn't enough of the door open.
"Yeah it's just me. Um is she ok?" I nervously ran my hands through my hair; I really had no fucking clue what I was doing. "Can I see her?"
"Not tonight Edward. I'm sorry, she fell asleep already."
Right as I was about to open my mouth the door was unceremoniously slammed in my face. I was left standing there stunned, mouth agape. I couldn't stop feeling like something was going on and Emmett and I were the only ones left out in the cold.
I started to head back to my room and right when I reached out for the handle I heard a door open from the end of the hall that the girls were staying. I quickly looked off to my left and saw that the door across from Iz's was the one who opened. Suddenly a little bright blonde hair girl who looked like she was jail bait appeared in the doorway.
"You must be Eddie boy," I didn't like the tone she had or the fact that she called me Eddie; I had no clue who she was. "I'm Jane, I work with them." She stuck up her pointer finger and pointed at Iz's door.
"Look, we are working tomorrow night at Oasis, you should come and bring your little buddies too, we'd love to see you." And with that she quickly turned back around winking over her shoulder and went back in her room. Pushing my door opened I was completely bewildered. This evening was turning into one huge cluster fuck of confusion.
"What happened?"
"Nothing Em, she fell asleep but I did get a tid-bit of interesting news." I plopped down in the chair next to him. "The girls are performing at some club tomorrow night called Oasis."
"Hm, we should go," Emmett was getting excited he had a gleam in his eyes "It would be fun and hell I know I wouldn't mind watching Rose shake her ass on a stage."
I rolled my eyes, of course that would be the only thing he would be worried about. "Ha yeah and what about the club full of other men watching Rose shake her ass?"
"Eh."
"Eh ? You, the man of many words, can only say eh?" I looked over to see him grab his chin with his hand in a thinking position, this should be interesting.
"I just say eh cuz I could care less if other guys are watching Rose, as long as I know at the end of the night she's coming home with me." He started to pretend to air hump the air and raise his eyebrows.
"You've got awfully high hopes," I said laughing and shaking my head.
The bathroom door creaked open and we both looked over to see Jasper emerge in a plume of steam.
"What are you little old ladies gossiping about?" He seemed to be in a better mood, but his eyes still looked like he was pained.
"Eddie here got an interesting piece of information."
"What?" Jasper was quick to ask like there was something that I was clearly missing and he knew the answer to it.
"The girls are dancing tomorrow night." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at Jasper trying to convey just what kind of dancing they would be doing.
"Emmett you idiot, they were dancing tonight too, so what?" Jasper seemed to be more and more in his own little world, he completely missed Em's innuendo.
"What he means is on a stage with barely anything on." I added shaking my head still not believing that Jasper was so clueless.
"Oh" Jasper stood there a little while running his hands through his hair. He looked like he was having a huge internal debate. "I don't think we should go."
Emmett and I looked at each other wide eyed. This wasn't the normal Jasper, something was off. I could understand his apprehension. I personally didn't want to see Iz dancing while a bunch of guys drooled over her, but with the same token, it gave me a chance to see her again. It also gave me an in to make sure she was ok, and furthermore it was her choice. That's how she wanted to make a living and obviously Jackson, whoever that guy was, didn't have a problem with her dancing.
"You guys really want to see them dancing for other guys taking there clothes off?"
"Nice try Jasper, I have already tried that debate with him." Jasper looked back and forth between us, his expression seemed like he wanted to say something but he was holding back.
"Edward you really want to go and watch other girls dance?" he was grasping at straws now, he was trying to find anyway to get Em and me change our minds.
"Eh," it was all I could manage to say. I really didn't want to watch other girls dance or for Iz to have to dance for other guys, but I did have to see her and I wanted to make sure she knew I supported her regardless of what her profession was.
Emmett looked over at me with a shit eating grin and fist bumped me. He probably had thought that my saying eh meant I had the same reasoning as him, but I had no intention of bringing Iz back here and sleeping with her.
"Fine we will go, but if ya'll throw a fucking fit cuz there are other guys looking at the girls, I'm not breaking up any fights." Jasper then stormed off into his room and slammed the door.
I looked over to Emmett my eyebrows raised, I had no clue what had just happened. "What the hell?"
"I don't know man, something is off with him."
________________________________________________________
Walking up to the club my palms were sweating and my heart was racing. I had no freaking clue what the hell I was doing here or how things like this even worked. The music was playing loud enough that you could hear it clearly every time the front door opened to let some one in.
Going into the club I was surprised none of the bouncers laughed in my face. I know I looked like a little kid waiting to get caught by his parents for something bad. I couldn't help it I was so lost; every bit of this was new to me. Emmett strolled in like he had been at the club a million times. Jasper looked like he was looking around every corner waiting for the boogey man to jump out in front of him. We must have been a sight to see, the three of us walking in together, one who was so nervous he was literally shaking, one who was overly excited, and another who looked like he was walking through a house of horrors.
The club was pretty refined looking, well at least as well as a strip club can look when it comes to class. The walls were white and covered in different black patterns that intricately weaved in and out of shapes and over some of the black tables hung low dark chandeliers. Throughout the club you could see different accents of black, there were black flowers on some of the tables and black feathers here and there. There was black fabric draped all throughout as well. If the walls weren't white under the design I had a feeling it would be impossible to see anything within the room it would all be too dark. In the middle of the room there was a t shaped stage with a pole at the end, once I spotted that I had to swallow, this was really happening. I was about to watch a girl that I thought was the epitome of everything dance for money.
We sat at a little table a row or two back from right up against the stage. Emmett wanted to be right up front by the pole, but neither Jasper nor I wanted to do that so we compromised by sitting semi close but not all the way in the back. Jasper noticed a bar over in the back corner when we had came in and offered to go get us some drinks.
Eventually he finally came strolling back over with three bottles of beer. I had no clue what took him so long to get them. He was still acting off but not as bad as he was last night after we got back to the hotel from the club.
"Here," he said while handing us each a bottle. I took a long swig of it, hoping that if I drank it fast enough it would help with my nerves. Setting the bottle down, I absent absentmindedly started picking at the label on the beer. "Nervous?"
Jasper was staring at the mess that I was making out of my beer. "Obvious?"
He started to chuckle lightly and actually cracked a smile, the first one I had seen since yesterday. "Noooo, not at all," his voice was dripping with sarcasm and I couldn't help but laugh along with him.
The music raised another notch and the lights dimmed. My heart felt like it was two beats away from exploding out of my chest. I could only hope that they wouldn't start out with the girls first.
"Hello everybody out there!" There were a few hoots and hollers. The voice on the other end of the speaker sounded like he had a slight Italian accent. "Boy do we have a special night for you!" More cheering erupted at the idea of a special night; I knew what was making it so special it was our girls dancing instead of just the regulars. I looked up at Jasper and Emmett and they both had the same expression on their faces. "We have hot ladies visiting from out of town for you all!" By now everyone was cheering and I was pretty sure I was about to puke. "But first let's get some of our regular girls out here."
Collectively all of us at the table breathed out a sigh of relief. Slowly the stereotypical strip tease music started to echo throughout the club and a bleach blonde lady stepped out and started to dance. She looked like she had one too many cosmetic procedures and was about to burst. None of us at our table were even looking, which I found very surprising.
Three dancers and a lot of unnecessary breaks later, the dreaded moment had arrived. "Alright I hope you guys are all ready!" Everyone was yelling holding there drinks in the air. We were all looking between each other. This was it, there was no running now. "Buckle up your seat belts boys, for one night only, the girls from J-Ville!"
The club went completely dark. In the air you could feel a static buzz, people were talking amongst themselves and a few were randomly hollering, for unknown reasons. The lights suddenly came up and I saw 5 chairs set along the top to the stage away from the pole.
I saw the short little one named Jane come out first stomping across the stage and go to the chair the furthest to the right, a girl that I hadn't seen before followed behind her, Rose was smack dab in the middle, I heard Emmet let out a slight groan looking at what Rose was wearing. She had on a little pleated plaid skirt, knee high athletic socks, and extremely high heels on, her hair was in long piggy tails and she had a little bright pink top on. Iz was next and once I saw her I let out a huge breath that I didn't even realize I was holding until then. She looked amazing. Her hair reminded me of the first time I had seen her, it was in loose ringlets all over the place and had bright blonde and blue highlights randomly placed throughout. She was wearing a cut off wife beater and clearly she had nothing on underneath it, little blue boy shorts, and black heels, not as high as Rose's, but still hot none the less. She looked amazing in blue. I couldn't help it, I had to stare, but as much as I knew I was staring at her, I knew every other guy except for Jasper and Emmett was checking her out as she came out as well. It took everything I had in me not to run up there, rip off my shirt, and cover her up. Alice was the last to come out. Jasper slammed his beer on the table causing a little bit of it to bubble up and foam over the top. She was wearing a little gray bra and matching gray skirt with heels that looked like they should have stabbed thorough the floor they were so high.
The entire club was in an uproar now yelling and cheering waiting for the music to start. We all looked like we had seen a ghost, personally I didn't know whether to be excited or puke, it was a pretty even toss up. I noticed the three girls shared a bright smile and nod with each other right before any music started.
The music started up and everyone started cheering. I had no clue what the song was, all I knew was it was annoyingly censored. Every now and then while the people were singing an annoying beeping noise would sound, which I didn't understand. The singer was singing about how guys only want one thing.
I dared to look away from my now shredded label and looked up on stage. Iz looked amazing. They were all swinging their hips in time, using their chair as a prop, and stealing random glances at the crowd winking at guys who were tipping them.
"Catching flies?" Jasper said while laughing staring at me.
"Shut up, this song is driving me nuts and well, so are they." I pointed up towards the stage where they were now really getting into it and shaking like I had never seen before.
"It's Pussycat Dolls you idiot." How the hell Jasper knew this song I would never know and never want to know.
"You aren't supposed to worry about the music anyway Eddie." Emmett added without ever looking away from the stage.
I dared to steal another glance at the stage and saw that they were now sitting in the chairs, backs arched up. I had to bite my lip to keep from groaning out loud, Iz in a wife beater with no bra, god damn. They slowly slid down the chairs and shook there way back up straddling the chairs once they made it back up and threw there heads backwards. I could see there backs and shoulders popping in time with the heavy beat. At the last beep they each covered there mouths and looked like they were pretending to be innocent.
And just like that the club went dark again. That wasn't so bad, as long as they kept doing group dances and no guys specifically hit on Iz I could handle it, or at least I hoped I could. The last thing I needed to do was be over protective. I had no right to be, she wasn't with me, and any way she had Jackson waiting for her back in Jacksonville.
"Sooo, what did you all think?" The way he carried out the so drove me nuts, this wasn't a freaking baseball game. "Well the fun isn't over yet, some of the girls from Jacksonville are going to dance solo now!" Guys were yelling and hollering for who they wanted to see. I heard a few yell out send the brown haired one in blue out and my head instantly shot over to where they were. Maybe I can't do this, way to set too high of goals fuck up. I groaned, there was no way I would be able to sit in my chair and not run or go after the guys that were looking at her. I looked over at Jasper and Emmett and they were mirroring my sentiments. None of us wanted to hear what other guys would say about the girls.
"Alright boys calm down," I waited holding my breath to hear who would be next up. "This next special treat for you all," my stomach turned at the idea of a woman being called a treat, like she wasn't a person, "she is nicknamed the Swan, she is absolutely gorgeous and knows how to move, you guys know what to do."
Emmett and I looked at each other completely confused we had never heard of any of the girls be referred to as a Swan. Spoons, Rose, Iz, Alice, Al, annoying little pixie, bitches, you name it we had heard it all but Swan, that was a new one, maybe it was Jane or that other girl. That would work out the best for us mentally. Emmett shrugged and looked back to the stage waiting for whom ever they called the Swan to come out. I quickly glanced over to Jasper and saw that he was muttering to himself shredding his beer label now too, what the fuck is going on?
The lights dimly turned up and I looked up to the stage holding my breath again, willing my heart to keep beating. A distorted guitar sounded and a loud drum part followed, this song I knew, unlike the other, it was Seether's "Careless Whisper".
I saw a black heel with a blue stripe around it step out and my heart stopped and I almost fell out of my chair. It was Iz, she was the one the called the Swan. Jesus freaking Christ could she get any closer to being Bella without actually being her? Her nickname was Bella's last name; I shuddered at the sheer closeness.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jasper shaking his head back and forth harder muttering something about not coming. I looked up to see Iz slowly sauntering over to the pole. She had on an amazing blue satin skirt with a sheer ruffle around the bottom. There were black polka dots on the little skirt, and there was a matching blue and polka dot bra. If I thought she looked good in blue I was wrong, she looked fucking amazing in blue! I caught a glimmer of something around her neck; she must have been wearing her J necklace.
She grabbed the pole and started to slowly swing around it rolling her head backwards closing her eyes and singing along with the song. The moment was so intimate I wished I could kick everyone out of the club and let it be just me and her. Slowly she stopped spinning and grabbed onto the pole with one hand and wrapped her leg around it and started to climb up it painstakingly slowly, sliding back down just as slowly as she bent backwards and slid down till her feet hit the floor.
I was breaking out in a sweat now, I couldn't handle this. It all seemed like something that should have been for one person's eyes only, not a room full of drunk horny men. She bit her lip and slowly ran a hand up her body and backed into the pole and swiveled her hips dancing her way down to the ground. Guys were yelling at her and a lot of them were throwing money up on the stage. I couldn't have been more thankful that we decided to sit away from the stage because I would have surely jumped up there by now.
Listening to the lyrics I couldn't help but wonder if she was trying to send a message. Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd, Maybe it's better this way, We'd hurt each other with the thing's we'd wanna say, We could have been so good together, We could have lived this dance forever, But now who's gonna dance with me? Please stay!
I kept replaying over and over in my head last night when were dancing. It was amazing. I couldn't have asked for anything more, the way she moved against me, the feel of her skin. I'd never be able to forget it. She'd never be able to get rid of me after that...I needed her.
"Go Bella baby, wooo!"
My head instantly snapped in the direction of the bar. There stood the guy I had seen lurking outside of her room a lot, it was the same guy that had dragged the girls away from the pool the first day we had met them. He was weird looking and gave me a strange vibe, but it wasn't his look that had just thrown me for a loop, it was what he said. Bella? Her name is Iz, not Bella. I looked over to Jasper and he looked like someone had just murdered his old beloved coon hound and then my brain started to slowly wrap around it all.
Iz, Bella Iz is Bella, Bella is Iz, she's freaking Isabella, and the nickname the Swan. Oh my fucking God, how could I have been so freaking stupid? She was right in front of me the whole freaking time!
She had played me like a fucking piano, playing dumb and going all along with it. The person I had been looking for the last three and a half freaking years was right in front of me this whole vacation, and a freaking stripper at that. I knew for a fact that I was going to get sick now, none of this seemed like it could really be happening but it was. My head was spinning with a sudden case of vertigo, and then it hit me.
"You knew!" I looked over to Jasper as he looked up at me wide eyed.
"I promised her I'd let her tell you and if she didn't I was going to tell you, I swear. I'm so sorry."
"What?" Emmett asked. He clearly hadn't put it all together.
"Nothing Emmett, enjoy the rest of the night with our back stabbing friend, I'm packing and going back."
I stormed out of the club not looking back. I couldn't believe that I was so ignorant and in denial of the whole situation. No wonder she reminded me so much of Bella, she was Bella. Why wouldn't she have just told me? I'd been living in hell since she left, all I wanted to know was if she was ok.
"Wait," I spun around on my heel in the parking lot when I heard her voice and the clicking of her heels.
"What do you want Iz, Spoons, Bella, Swan, or who ever the fuck you are?"
"Stop, I can explain." She slowly approached me; her arms were crossed in front of her chest covering her stomach. She must have literally ran right after she got off of the stage to get me.
"Explain? What could you have to explain? You saw how fucking hurt I was this whole time and you never said anything Bella! How could you?" I took a step towards her closing the space between us.
"Well isn't that the fucking pot calling the kettle black!" Her face was turning red and her little hands clenched into fists. "I could ask you the same freaking thing! You're the one who cheated not me, you fucked everything up!"
"I know I did, not a day goes by were I forget what the hell I lost." I tugged at my hair, I was definitely going to loose my mind before this conversation was over. "Why didn't you tell me who you were? God, do you know how long I've looked for you?"
Tears were streaming down her face, I reached out to brush them away out of instinct but she pushed my hand away. "Don't Edward, just don't." She wiped at her face and roughly brushed them away. "You have no clue what I have been through; you didn't even try to come after me when I left. You just sat on the bed! Please tell me how I'm supposed to take that?"
Three and a half years later and we were still hurting. I wanted to hold her and tell her it would all be alright and we would figure it out, but the monster in me couldn't just let it go. "Well I've changed since then, and obviously you have too." I pointed at her near nakedness standing outside in the cool windy air.
"What?" her voice barely squeaked out in between sobs. I had hit below the belt and I knew it. I was so hurt and seething I didn't have any control over what flew out of my mouth.
"Look Bella, I'm sorry," I reached up and grabbed her forearms. She quickly shrugged me off.
"Don't," she gritted out between her teeth. "Why? Why did you do it? If you loved me so much then why?"
I had been waiting for this moment for years to finally attempt to explain myself. I knew that I had no excuse and all I could do was beg for forgiveness. But this was so different from the hundreds of different scenarios I had run through my head. Bella, my love, was a stripper who tried to hide from me. Never in a million years had I thought it would have ever panned out like this, but she deserved an explanation regardless of how hurt I was feeling, if nothing more came about from this night she could at least have that for herself.
"I want you to know anything I am about to say isn't an excuse, I don't deserve to be excused." I looked her straight in the eyes and felt myself melt. Her head bobbed up and down showing she understood.
"I was scared, I was scared shitless." She bit her lip I took a deep breath deciding to continue. "I was afraid that I was missing out on something since we had been together for so long and we were so young. I was so fucking stupid. I swear to you I didn't even do anything with her other then make out, you stopped us before anything more could have happened."
We stood there for what seemed to me as an eternity; it felt as if the world had stopped spinning. I held my breath waiting to hear what she would say. I could only hope that she would yell and scream at me and make me feel like shit because I knew I was nothing more than just that. It was what I deserved.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Her question set me back. She didn't want to argue over what I did, she just wanted to know if it was worth it if I was really missing out on the teenage experience of being a 'player'.
"No and yes." She started to sob harder when I said yes. I rubbed at my face I had no clue how to explain it to her.
"I realized I had it all along, you." I reached up and grabbed under her chin and locked eyes with her. "I found that I didn't need to look because I had already found you, and I don't need any one else."
She turned her head out of my hand. "Please Bella; after all of this I know you're the only one I need. I had everything with you and now, now I've got nothing."
"You have no idea." She looked to my face trying to silently convey something. "I've been through so much. You have no idea. So much has changed."
She took a step back and I could see she shuddered. Something was wrong and I had no clue. I went to take a step towards her, my arms were raised reaching out to her. I needed to hold her and tell her that we would figure it all out together and fix whatever it was that wrong. I wasn't about to give up on her, nothing could have changed my mind. Suddenly I was stopped and pushed back by someone that wasn't Bella.
I looked up and saw the freak that was always seemed to be lurking standing in front of me in an offensive stance, the one who had yelled 'Bella baby'. My blood was boiling and I could clearly see in the world in a red haze, my lips instantly turned up at him.
"Please stop, nothing was going on." I saw Bella tugging on this guy's arm trying to get him away.
He turned and looked at her and reached a hand up to her hair and softly stroked it. "Baby you know what it does to me when you say please."
I was pretty sure at that moment I threw up a little. "James, stop!" She quickly tugged her head away from him.
"Look James or who ever you freaking are, we were just talking. Nothing is going on that you need to be-" and then I felt a hard crack to my left eye. I instantly stumbled backwards.
"James what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Bella was yelling at him. I looked over to see James with a giant grin on his face and then I caught another glimmer of Bella's necklace. J….
It was all coming together now. She didn't have anyone named Jackson; she must have just pulled it out of nowhere, especially since it was close to the name of where she lives. She had to be with James that would explain why he was so protective, and always seems to be around even when Bella didn't notice.
It wouldn't be the first time she had lied about something massive to me in the past week. All the sweet sentiments he did towards her. Jesus I was a fucking idiot, she probably was trying to tell me that she didn't want me that she was now with him, 'so much has changed'.
Swallowing what was left of my pride I turned and headed back towards my car. Gripping my keys in one hand and stomach in the other trying to hold what was left of me together. "Wait Edward, please."
I looked over my shoulder and saw James still standing there a little behind Bella nodding his head as if he was confirming everything that I had just figured out. "No Bella, I get it now, I don't belong with you." I climbed into my car slammed the door and peeled out of the parking lot. Looking in my rear view mirror I saw Bella shove James and cover her face sobbing.
I finally knew what I needed to know after three and a half long years. She was safe and found someone new, and I said my peace. I couldn't have asked for anymore I didn't deserve anymore. I headed back to the hotel intent on completing the original plan I had when I had left, pack up and get the hell out of here.
Oh Eddie boy, you and your assumptions!
So there you have it my lovely readers!!! Love it? Hate it? Let me know...
Also a lovely reviewer named RoseArcadia brought it to my attention that this story was mentioned on Twilighted.. I had no clue LOL, thank you to whom ever mentioned it!!!