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Ready for the secret Greg is about to tell Nick in this chapter?
It was the next day when Nick was sitting in the break room and looking out the door. He watched Greg and officer Spencer interact. Officer Spencer had heard about what happened to Greg and called him last week. He saw him today for the first time since it happened. It was very touchy-feely with lots of hugging and crying on Spencer's part. Greg tried to avoid most hugs by telling him it hurt him, but he couldn't avoid them all. When they said goodbye, Spencer hugged him one more time and patted him on the shoulder.
Greg walked into the break room while rolling his eyes but with a smile on his face. "This guy can get very emotional."
"Yeah I've seen that," Nick replied rather moody while reading a newspaper.
Greg walked over to the water boiler to fix himself a cup of tea. "Are you alright?" he asked Nick as he turned his head towards him.
"Sure, why shouldn't I?" Again, Nick sounded quite moody, almost sulky.
"What's wrong?" Greg asked as he sat down opposite Nick.
"I don't wanna talk about it..." he mumbled as he put the newspaper in front of his face.
"What, is this about Spencer again?" Greg asked amused. "When will you let this go?"
Nick raised an eyebrow and looked up from the newspaper. "That's not it. At least not all of it."
Greg frowned as he took a sip from his cup. "Spill it already."
Nick sighed as he put the newspaper down. He thought about it for a while. "...Nothing."
"Come on, you can tell me."
Again, he needed a moment to think about it. Then finally, he decided to just say what was on his mind. "That was quite a long hug there, huh? Many hugs, actually."
Greg rolled his eyes as he laughed. "He just wanted to show his support. You're reading way too much into his actions."
"And yesterday... When DB patted you on the back."
"What do you mean?" Greg was confused.
"I mean Sara, okay. I get it. She's a woman, I guess it's different with her, but..." Nick stopped himself. "Ah, forget it. I shouldn't have mentioned it." He got off his seat and walked over to the coffee machine, fixing himself a cup.
"Nick, what are you talking about?" Greg asked concerned.
It took him all the time it took to fix himself a cup until he went on. "How come you won't let me touch you?"
At the exact same moment, Hodges walked in, hearing what Nick just asked. "Whoa. What did I get into here?"
Greg just stared at Nick, not paying any attention to the lab tech.
He walked over to Hodges and gently pushed him out while putting the coffee cup in his hand. "...Get lost, Hodges. Give us some privacy here, will ya?" He closed the door.
Greg looked over to the door, but avoided looking directly at Nick. "Nick, I... I don't know what to say..."
"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said something, but... I noticed that you kept your distance again. I understood that up until the point where I noticed that I'm the only one. You don't mind being physically close to anyone else, just me." He got back to his seat.
"...Who says I mind being physically close to you? I don't..."
"Yeah right. What about when Sara and I visited you? You flinched to avoid me touching you."
"I did not! Okay, maybe I got surprised by it and that's why..." Greg tried to talk himself out of it.
"And what about yesterday in the lab? You jumped off your seat when I tried to touch you."
"I didn't even notice you wanted to! I needed to get up. It was just bad timing!"
Nick rolled his eyes. "And how about this? You usually sit down next to me, not opposite me."
"Come on now, don't be ridiculous..."
"Really? It's all in my mind?"
"Yep." Greg tried to sound convincing. He took another sip from his cup.
"So... You're doing alright today?"
"I'm trying to," he replied with a kind smile on his face.
"You know what? You look like you could use a hug."
"What?" Greg giggled nervously.
Nick got off his seat again and walked over to Greg. He looked down on him with open arms. "Come on, get up."
"Don't be silly." Greg giggled again. He noticed Nick didn't move and kept looking at him. "...I'm good, I don't need a hug."
"You're sure? Well, I could use one. So?"
Greg's stupid smile turned into an annoyed look. Nick just wouldn't drop it. "Alright... Sure, why not." He got off his seat. He turned around to face Nick, but it was evident he was nervous and feeling highly uncomfortable. But he wanted to go through with this.
When Greg got closer to him, Nick took a step back. "Really, now? You'd rather hug me though you don't want to before you tell me what the hell's going on? I can't believe you!"
"What are you yelling at me for?" Greg replied annoyed. "You want a damn hug, then come on!"
"Not a pity hug!" Nick replied hurt. "I understood it last time, Greg. You didn't want any guy come near you! But now it's just me!"
"That's not true!"
"Oh, at least have the balls to admit it!"
"...It's nothing personal, just... just calm down." When he said that, Greg remembered that one rule you should always follow when you argue with someone. Never EVER tell them to calm down.
"Oh screw you!" Nick yelled. "Sure it is!"
"I'm sorry, alright? But stop yelling..." He was quite sensitive to yelling and aggressiveness at the moment.
"Just tell me what's wrong with me!" he kept yelling.
"Nick..." Greg tried to stay calm. "Nothing's wrong with you. Just shut up and let me explain!"
Nick rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry, I... It's just so frustrating. I want to help you as much as I can and... and now I just realize I'm not helping at all. I was selfish, I... apologize. I should... I should probably just give you some space..." He headed out.
"No, wait! You are helping!"
"I am?" He turned around with his hand on the door knob.
"Well... In this moment not so much, but... Yesterday for example! I did tell you something I didn't tell anyone else beside my psychiatrist. That should count for something, right?"
Nick put his hand off the door knob and walked back to his chair and sat down. He propped his elbows on the table as he buried his face in his hands. "I just feel so bad, so... guilty."
"Why?" Greg said humorous, "You didn't do anything wrong."
"I was supposed to keep an eye on Robin. I shouldn't have let her walk out of the lab."
Greg shook his head. "If you didn't Karen would probably be dead. At least that's what Robin told me."
"But you would still be alright."
Greg gave Nick a genuine smile. "I think Robin just thought the opposite..." He realized that what Robin did was understandable. Most people would sacrifice the ones they don't care about as much to save the ones they love. "And besides that... Nothing really happened, right? It was just an awful experience in my life I will learn to deal with. I should be thankful I'm fine."
"Just because it could've been worse doesn't mean it wasn't bad."
Greg shrug. "I'll get over it. That's the important part." A silent moment followed. "We should get to work."
They both got up and walked towards the door. "Wait a minute..." Nick said. "You never explained why you..."
Greg interrupted him. "I have a bunch of samples waiting for me, I have to go. We'll talk about it later, alright?" He quickly walked away.
Nick was pissed. Greg was able to distract him enough so that he would forget about his question. He avoided him for the rest of the night but wanted to make sure to catch him when he would take another break. When working in the lab, Greg was a creature of habit. He'd usually take his breaks at a certain rhythm. It was time for another break, Nick was sure, so he lurked around the DNA lab, waiting for his chance. Hodges was in the lab talking to Greg right now. Only a matter of minutes, he was certain, and Greg would come out and take his break. He waited and waited. They were talking for almost ten minutes. Then finally, they seemed to part ways. But before that, they high five'd and Hodges patted Greg on the shoulder and chest when he walked away. Greg was still laughing as he walked out of the lab when Nick approached him.
"Okay, what was THAT about?" again, Nick sounded quite aggressive.
"...What?" Greg asked puzzled.
"The pat on the chest... and a high five? You don't even really like the guy! What the hell, man? Are you doing this on purpose?" Greg just gave Nick a look and walked past him, towards the break room. Nick followed. "Hey, don't leave me standing here. Answer me!"
"What do you want, Nick? You're angry that I'm having a little fun? You'd rather have me moping around, crying secretly and feeling depressed all day?"
"Of course not, I..."
"You're really trying to make me feel guilty that I'm enjoying myself rather than think about what happened all the time?"
"No, I..."
"Shame on you! Just because you're jealous doesn't give you the right to give me a hard time!" He entered the break room.
Nick stopped before entering the break room to feel bad for a minute. Then he realized... "...Wait! You're doing it again!" He hastily followed Greg. "Okay, I gotta hand it to you. This one was good. I really did feel bad for a moment. But enough with the mind games. Just tell me what's going on."
Greg sighed. "Close the door?"
Nick did and sat down opposite Greg. "I think I have a right to know..."
"I wasn't trying to protect myself, I was trying to protect you. But since you won't give up until I tell you... Don't be angry afterwards because I told you."
"I won't. I just want to know."
"I couldn't talk with the psychiatrist about it yet so... I'm not sure why I am that way, but... The reason why I don't mind Sara or Russell or Hodges... or even Spencer come close to me is..." He sighed. It was hard for him to say this. "It's because they don't remind me of that guy..."
Nick looked surprised. He had a lot of theories for this, but none of them covered what Greg just told him. "But you said you didn't remember his face."
"I don't. But... I have dreams about it and... They don't always end like it really did." Greg sighed. "Sometimes he has your... He's you. In some dreams, it's you." When Nick didn't say anything, he went on. "I don't know why, okay? It's not your fault... Or mine. It's just how it is."
"...But... why?" Nick asked shocked.
"I don't know... My mind's stupid, I guess..." Greg laughed insecure.
"Wow, I... I don't know what to say," Nick was still shocked. "I... I'm speechless."
"Don't make a big deal out of it, alright? It'll pass, I'm sure." He smiled at Nick.
"That's horrible, Greg," Nick said bluntly. "Downright horrible."
"Come on, it's not that bad. I know it wasn't you, after all," he joked.
Nick rolled his eyes a bit. "It's not very funny..."
"I know..." He looked down. Nick did the same. They just sat there, both staring down. Then, Greg decided to get up. He walked up to Nick. "It'll be alright." He gave him a rather forceful smile as he patted him on the shoulder. Nick gave him an appreciative look and smiled back.