Chapter 11: Christmas Part 1

Remus stood in the bathroom, running a finger along his cheek. The scratch had indeed scarred; a white line ran across his cheek, marking the spot where he had ripped through his own skin.

Carefully, Remus lifted a corner of his shirt, glancing at his shoulder. He shivered. The bite mark was still there, red and raw-looking despite the years that had passed since he had received it. Remus remembered the night he had gotten it very well, the night that his entire life changed. The night he had become a monster.

"Remus! What are you doing in there, your makeup? I need to pee!"

"I'm coming out, Sirius," called Remus quietly.

Remus pulled his shirt back up again and unlocked the door, slipping out and past Sirius, head bowed.

"Remus?" asked Peter, looking up from his work. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," muttered Remus, hopping onto his bed and closing the curtains.

Sirius, James, and Peter glanced at each other, then headed over to stand around Remus' bed.

"Okay, Remus, spill it. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," came Remus's muffled reply.

"Then why did you spend twenty minutes in the bathroom then come out here to hole yourself up in your bed?" asked James, raising an eyebrow.

"I like my bed," said Remus moodily.

"Is this about your mom?" asked Peter worriedly.

"You'll see her soon," said James. "Tomorrow's Christmas Break!"

"I know," muttered Remus. In truth, he was depressed because the full moon happened to fall on Christmas Eve that year.

"Then cheer up!" Sirius said. "And open your curtains."

Remus peeked his head out to glare at them. "No. Now leave me alone." He ducked his head back in.

"Well then," muttered Sirius. "No need to have attitude.

"Come on, Remus," James said. "You can tell us anything, you know that, right?"

Remus muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "No I can't."

"Oh yeah? And what can't you tell us?" asked Sirius, raising an eyebrow.

"Look, it's time we start getting packed," said Remus, finally throwing the curtains open. "We need to be ready to go at noon tomorrow, and I know for a fact Sirius doesn't know where a single sock is."

"Not true," Sirius muttered unconvincingly.

"Fine, but we're going to find out," warned James.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Remus, throwing things in his trunk.

"You'll owl me, right?" asked James.

"Yes, I already said I would," said Remus.

"Well, I don't want you to forget," muttered James.

"I can't believe my mom said I can't go to your house," complained Sirius for the billionth time. "It's not like she likes having me around or anything. Why does she make me come back?"

"Maybe she just likes to torture you," said James

"You're probably right," said Sirius thoughtfully. "Witch."

"We're here," said Peter excitedly, bouncing over to the window.

Remus felt a flutter of happiness in his stomach. Despite all the fun he had been having at Hogwarts, he couldn't wait to see his mother again. He knew that she had been worried about him, and wanted to know in detail how the full moons were going.

"Excellent," muttered Sirius. The train pulled to a stop in the platform.

"Shall we?" said James, and they walked out of their compartment and into the crowded hallway. Together they managed to get all four trunks down and wheeled them all to an exit, jumping off together.

"OUCH! Sirius! That was my foot!" said James, hopping up and down as Sirius' trunk landed on his foot.

"Oops. Sorry."

"I'll give you something to be sorry about…" muttered James.

"Now now, James. Don't be violent!" scolded Sirius playfully, before the grin dropped off his face. Remus followed his gaze to see Sirius' family standing there, looking the same as they had at the beginning of the year. The little boy, presumably Sirius' younger brother, was watching them with undisguised curiosity and envy, while the mother regarded them with disdain. "Oh, wonderful," said Sirius under his breath.

"Have a good Christmas, mate," said James, thumping him on the back.

"We'll write you," added Peter.

"You'd better," said Sirius. He shot one last grin at all of them before straightening up and walking over to his family.

"Blimey, I've never seen him so behaved," muttered James to the other two as Sirius gave a curt nod to his family.

"JAMESIE!"

James turned around and was engulfed by a woman in her late thirties, with dark brown hair and kind hazel eyes. A man that looked remarkably like James stood behind her, smiling. The woman smothered James for a second before he managed to wriggle out.

"I missed you too, Mum," he laughed. "Mum, Dad, these are my friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew."

"Remus Lupin?" asked Mrs. Potter, frowning as though she had heard the name before. Then comprehension dawned on her face, and Remus knew that she knew about him. His blood ran cold, and he shrank back a bit, certain that he was going to be yelled at for being friends with her son.

"Oh," she said, before smiling kindly at both of them. "It's lovely to meet you, dears." She caught Remus' eye and gave him a reassuring smile and a small wink. Remus smiled hesitantly back, and got the message she seemed to be telling him: I won't tell.

Peter was oblivious, looking around for his family, but James watched the interaction and frowned thoughtfully.

"Remus?" said a quiet voice behind him.

Remus' heart leapt to his throat and he spun around. "Mom," he said quietly, before launching himself into her arms.

Mrs. Lupin laughed, giving her son a tight hug. "Oh, Remus darling, it's so lovely to see you. I've been so worried- I mean, I knew you could handle it, but being there, alone, and- oh, I told you Dumbledore would take care of it, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Remus said, smiling widely. "You were right."

He pulled himself gently out of her grip, and turned back to his friends. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had turned to greet some old friends of theirs.

"This is my mom," he said. "Mom, this is Peter and James."

"Hello," they said politely.

"Oh, are you Remus' friends?" Mrs. Lupin asked in delight. "Oh, it's wonderful to meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you, too," said James. "How are you feeling?"

Mrs. Lupin frowned. "How am I feeling? I'm feeling fine, thank you for asking."

"Oh," said James, looking at Remus oddly.

"We should get going," said Remus loudly. "Long drive home, you know? Bye Peter, James."

"Bye, Remy," said James with a grin.

"See ya, Remus," said Peter in a squeaky voice.

Remus smiled one last time and turned with his mom. "Don't forget to write!" he heard James call one last time through the crowd.

"Now, what's this letter I got from Professor McGonagall? Something about you and three other students starting a food fight?" asked Mrs. Lupin once they were in the car. She raised an eyebrow at her son, who blushed.

"That wasn't exactly me," he muttered. "James and Sirius really started it, but… okay, I started a food fight."

"And I expect you already got punished at the school?"

"Yeah. Detention."

"Well, I guess I see no further reason to punish you," she said. "Now, tell me about the full moons."

"Oh, it's been much better," said Remus. He explained about Madam Pomfrey, the shack, and the Whomping Willow.

"And none of your friends have gotten suspicious?"

"Er- I don't think so," said Remus. "I keep telling them that you're sick and I'm coming to visit you."

"So that's why James asked how I was feeling," realized Mrs. Lupin.

"Yeah. Sorry," Remus said.

"Oh, it's alright. But I sure do seem to be sick a lot, don't I," said Mrs. Lupin with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yes, you do," laughed Remus.

They pulled up to their small house, and Remus looked at it for a second. It felt strange to be returning home after everything he had done at Hogwarts. He realized that he wasn't really returning home, though. While this was where his mother lived, Hogwarts had become Remus' home, the place where he could be himself (or, mostly himself) and have friends.

"Now, Remus," said Mrs. Lupin quietly. "The full moon is on Christmas Eve."

"I know," said Remus glumly.

"But we can't let that spoil the holiday, can we?" asked Mrs. Lupin brightly. "We'll just celebrate early! An early Christmas, how does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect, Mom," said Remus, smiling at his mother.

Sirius,

How are you doing? Has your family driven you crazy yet? My mom's been hovering around me, asking all sorts of questions about Hogwarts. It's driving me crazy. I swear this is the only free time I've had since I've gotten home.

Have you heard from Remus or Peter yet? I haven't. It's driving me bloody crazy. It's so boring at my house, not exciting like it is with you three. You'd better come over this summer, or else I think I'd die of boredom.

I saw Remus' mother at the station. It was weird, she was perfectly healthy. I asked her how she was feeling, and she got all confused, like she hadn't been sick in the longest time. Then Remus got all panicky and said he had to leave. He practically pulled her out of the station, it was like he was hiding something.

Is Remus hiding something? I know you believe all those stories about his mom being ill, but even when he tells us it seems a little fishy, and I think his mother would have seemed a bit, I don't know, sick-er if she had been ill for two months.

I don't know. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing. It's probably just my mind making up things to compensate for this boredom. My mom actually tried to get me to sing Tracie Melvick earlier- you know, that singer? Merlin, imagine. Me, singing.

PLEASE WRITE BACK SOON! I can't stand not hearing from any of you. Don't let your family get you down, only another 11 days until we're back at Hogwarts!

See you, mate.

James

James leaned his head in his hand, staring out the window. Now what to do? He had already sent letters to Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and he couldn't think of anything else to do.

With a sigh, he stood up and headed downstairs. His dad was in the living room, reading the Daily Prophet.

"Hey, Dad," James said, sitting down.

"Hello, James," Mr. Potter said, not putting his paper down.

James let out a long, exaggerated sigh, then glanced at his dad. He got no reaction. He leaned his head back and let out another one, again getting no response.

James stood up and leaned in close to his father, letting out a long, loud sigh. He was cut off when his dad clamped a hand over his mouth. "Okay," he said. "I'll ask, just be quiet. What do you want?"

"I'm bored," James said, sitting back down with a huff. "There's nothing to do."

"Help your mother clean."

James just gave him a look.

"Alright," said Mr. Potter, standing up. "I challenge you to a snowball fight."

James snorted. "You? Challenge me. To a snowball fight."

"That's right," said Mr. Potter. "What, are you scared?"

"You wish," said James, grabbing a jacket and pulling it over his head, running past his dad and out the door.

He stopped in the back yard, looking around. The snow blanketed the landscape, a fluffy sheet all across the yard.

Suddenly, he was hit in the back of the head by a snowball. He spun around to glare at his father, who stood grinning at him.

"No fair! I didn't say start!"

"No," said Mr. Potter, "but I did. Start!"

And thus launched the most furious snowball fight seen in the last fifty years. Both James and Mr. Potter ducked, rolled, and chucked balls of snow at each other, diving all across the yard and doing anything to hit the other.

"Boys!" called Mrs. Potter after a while. "Dinner!"

The two Potters walked together into the house, laughing. They were thoroughly soaked and both their glasses were crooked, but it had certainly helped James recover from his previous bored state.

James,

It's bloody horrible here at my house. My mom's been bagging on me about being in Gryffindor, and I've been confined to my room with a pile of pureblood books. Like I would actually read them… who do they think I am?

My brother's driving me nuts, hovering around, asking all these questions about Hogwarts and the different houses. He wants to be in Slytherin, he's going to end up just like my parents, just watch. I tried to lock him in the pantry, but Kreacher let him out. Blasted elf.

Remus is acting strange. I mean, he's strange anyways (he is friends with us) but I agree; I think his mother would look just a little bit worse for the wear than she did if she really had been ill all that time. You don't think Remus has been lying to us, do you? If he is, where does he go every month? He behaves strangely around some of the professors, too…

Whatever. You're right, it's probably nothing, but we'll look into it more when we get back to school. Peter's sent me a letter, but nothing from Remus yet. I can't wait until we head back to Hogwarts, I hate it here.

Reply soon,

Sirius

Remus,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I've already sent you three letters, and you haven't responded to any of them. What gives? I haven't heard from you in almost a week. You haven't sent anything to Peter or Sirius yet, either, they told me; you have to respond to us sometime.

Write back soon.

James

Remus sighed, reading the letter from James again. He had tried to write, he really had, but he had nothing to write about. Even Peter's break had been more interesting than his, and his parents only took him to the local park.

He loved being home, he really did, but it just wasn't the same as Hogwarts. There every day was different, packed with excitement, but here… all he had were bad memories, here.

He didn't think anything he wrote would be worth reading, but he had to get something out or else his friends would think he had died or something.

He pulled out a piece of parchment and his quill and tapped the paper thoughtfully, thinking about what to write, before scribbling a short letter onto it. He repeated the gesture twice more until he had three completed letters in front of him.

Using his mom's owl, he sent them out to all three of his friends. Then he sat back on his bed and pulled out his book again, resigned to another day of reading.