Never Be the Same
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Chapter 10
"Okay. There's microwavable food in the fridge, and there's extra gauze in the cabinet in case you bleed again... and Tucker's with Kuukai, so you shouldn't have to deal with him…" Amu yelled, trailing off, placing a dainty, glossy black pinky nail on the corner of her lips.
She scanned the apartment, as if looking for something more to yell at the top of her lungs. Ikuto didn't reply, and Amu wondered if he was even choosing to listen to her from the bathroom.
She sighed heavily, planting her forehead in her hand.
She sounded like a hyperactive mother.
Amu had felt strangely jumpy that morning – immediately when she woke up, her mind registered a completely different train of thought than it usually did:
Work. Ikuto.
Problem.
She'd rushed through her shower, air-dried her hair until her head spun, and slipped on the first thing in her closet that she laid eyes on –
A dark purple strapless blouse, a slim, high-waist black skirt, and a thick black belt hung high on her thin waist.
As bad as the day was sure to turn out, Amu did not want to look sloppy.
She snatched a pair of dark purple open-toed heels from her closet, and practically chucked them into the kitchen, while snatching her makeup bag, her lotion, and knee-high tan stockings from her dresser.
Her mind was so scrambled, she hardly paid any attention to her actions.
Surely, today would be absolute chaos.
In addition, today was Monday, November 6th; she had a lunch date with her friends.
She groaned just at the thought.
Any day other than today would be absolutely gorgeous to do lunch with the Guardians.
But it was Monday morning, it was raining, and it was nerve-wracking to leave Ikuto alone in her apartment for a whole day.
Amu assumed that he would do no more than sleep; however, the nagging thought of someone like Yoru breaking down her door did not sit well with her. What if Easter did come to take Ikuto away while she was gone? He's injured – would he be able to hide?
She shook her head.
This is Ikuto you're talking about, stupid.
Amu waltzed into the kitchen gracefully, expertly snatching her wallet and her purse in one professional twirl. Her glance passed over the fruit bowl and the open box of granola bars – even the cereal cabinet swung wide open. She was in no mood for breakfast. She had plenty of other things to worry about, with which she was hurrying through for some reason.
She hiked up her tight black skirt, and threw her leg up onto the kitchen counter, stretching it flexibly, while simultaneously massaging soft lotion into her calves and thighs.
"Oh, and if you get any deliveries, just keep quiet and wait for him to leave," Amu yelled again, leaning her head toward the bathroom. "The package should either be sitting outside the door, or he'll just give it to Kuukai."
"I'm not deaf," a low voice suddenly said.
Amu looked to her right, and saw Ikuto standing there, head tilted, hand pounding the side of his skull.
Amu suppressed a giggle.
He seemed exceedingly irritated, trying to pound the water out of his ear.
"You sure?" She smirked.
With a small, refreshing laugh, she turned back to her upright leg, and finished smoothing the lotion on her thigh.
"Well, aren't you the flexible one."
Amu paused. She felt Ikuto's eyes on her, and quickly yanked her leg off the countertop, and smoothed her skirt down hastily. Unconsciously, she felt a warm heat spreading across her cheeks. She shot him a goaded glare.
She leaned over to apply the lotion to the other leg, meanwhile glaring at Ikuto's smug expression from the corner of the kitchen.
Her brief good mood had gone sour. All thanks to a man's twisted mind.
Somehow, everything Amu managed to say to this man seemed to have some sort of a twist to it, and naturally, Ikuto's distorted mind transformed it into something totally different than what she meant to say. Something totally disgusting.
From now on, she would have to think extremely hard about every comment she directed at that idiot.
With a final glare, she slammed the lotion container back on the counter, and unzipped her makeup bag.
She looked into the mirror on the wall of her kitchen. The dim light of the kitchen made her look deathly pale, and she cringed at the curly wave in her long, bright fuchsia hair.
She hated curl.
Hated it.
She sighed, and applied a thin layer of mascara on her eyelashes, and a thin layer of deep purple eye shadow to her eyelids. She began brushing her face with a lightly tanned foundation.
Usually, she didn't worry about makeup. She didn't necessarily enjoy worrying about it on top of every other necessity in the morning.
But she didn't want to look like trash on a lunch date with her friends, consisting also of men.
Judgmental men.
Men that she still cared about looking presentable in front of.
Suddenly, long, pale arms wrapped around her neck, and warm breath tickled her cheek.
"So, you still trying to impress that Kiddy King?"
Looking into the mirror, Ikuto's face was inches from hers.
Amu turned her head spastically.
However, she was a bit more spastic than she meant to be, and the tip of her nose brushed against Ikuto's.
Her head and her heart were screaming.
Oh… oh my.
His eyes bore into hers, sucking her into a vortex of passion and temptation. Every inch of her body tingled with every breath he breathed onto her face.
She was that close again.
Suddenly, she snapped out of it, almost as fast as she'd been drawn in – slowly.
"What? No!" She answered irritably, in a fluster.
Seriously, can he read minds?
Although Amu surely wasn't in love with Hotori Tadase, she did care about what she looked like around him, and only him. Nagi and Kuukai had already seen her at her worst, and there was no turning back when that happened. Tadase, however, hadn't. He wasn't as close to her as the other men in her life, and yet, was seen to the naked eye as more than just a friend. Although the romantic feelings she once felt toward him had disappeared, his feelings for her hadn't. Thus, she felt a different sort of friendship toward Tadase. A special friendship.
One that Ikuto was trying to ruin.
Amu growled at him.
"Unlike some people, I simply care about my reputation!"
The muscular arms around her neck drew back slowly.
"Ouch." She could hear the smirk in his voice.
Amu clenched and unclenched her fists tightly, straining the muscles in her arms. If she didn't do so, she might end up whirling around and punching the nasty idiot in the face.
She'd had her fill of irritating Ikuto for the day. She was this close to blowing up in his sorry, smug face.
Was he trying to make her fall for him again?
Because this is exactly what she fell for more than 6 years ago.
She was fifteen, and she had known Ikuto since elementary. Looking back, she'd confidently say that the two of them were good friends, though none approved of their friendship. Ikuto was always annoyingly flirtatious, unpredictable and free, while Amu was always cold and reprimanding; secretly envying his freedom – but altogether, the two somehow enjoyed each other's company. There was always a thin wall between them, holding them back from becoming closer. But then, one day, everything changed.
Everything.
"How'd you even know that I was seeing them today?" Amu said blankly, glancing at Ikuto, trying to shrug off the painful memories.
Ikuto shrugged.
"Your phone."
She slammed her hand on the counter.
"You read my texts?" She raged, unconsciously whirling around and taking a step toward Ikuto.
To her vexation, he too took a step forward, meeting her glare head-on with a smirk very close to her face.
"Problem?" His lips popped, moving even closer to her face.
She hesitated, still in hypnosis from his daunting eyes.
Her head screamed with fury.
Why does he always have to get so damn close?
Then again…
His eyes are a pretty shade of purple and blue…
She quickly slinked away venomously, returning her gaze to the mirror.
Why does he always have to be so damn mesmerizing?
"Idiot," she stated flatly. "Just because you're staying here, temporarily, does not mean you can steal my phone and read my personal life page by page."
And she meant it – she remembered the texts from Yaya, specifically about Ikuto, and prayed to Jesus that Ikuto himself didn't see them.
Amu finished her makeup, and snatched her knee-highs from the countertop.
"Okay, around noon, Kuukai should run up here and drop off Tucker. He'll only be here for about an hour or two, then Kai's coming back to bring him down again…"
She suddenly smirked, and smoothed out the tan stocking mid-thigh. She stood upright, and for once, she was the one smirking deviously.
"Oh – and he hates cats."
Feeling satisfied by his silence, she lifted her foot again, and began slipping on the other stocking, still smirking to herself.
Suddenly, she felt warm gust of wind tickle her ear.
Her hand sprung to her ear, and she rubbed it furiously, immediately glaring at Ikuto.
"What the –"
"And I hate dogs." He replied with a smug smirk.
She scowled venomously, and let out a resounding, frustrated growl, before yanking up the stocking on her leg, slipping on her purple pumps, snatching her purse and wallet, and speeding out the door, brushing past Ikuto harshly on the way.
She was glad to be without him for a day.
"You forgot your perfume."
Then she froze.
Without a word, without a glance, and without contact whatsoever, Amu spun around, and dashed back into her bedroom. She snatched the strawberry perfume bottle from the dresser, and sprayed a few quick sprits on her wrists and neck. Then she whirled around again, and sped out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Ikuto was waiting patiently by the door with her pea coat and umbrella.
Amu walked up to him casually, trying to seem indifferent and ungrateful – instead, she ended up looking flustered and embarrassed. She took her coat, threw it over her arm, and snatched her umbrella.
She looked up at him for a moment, studied his smug expression with agitation, and without a word, walked out the door.
Ikuto smirked deftly, closing the door behind her.
How interesting.
Amu let out a flustered sigh, slipping on her coat.
How annoying.
Then, going their separate ways, they both let out a reluctant smile.
How… infuriatingly charming.
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"Thank you, Su," Amu sighed, eagerly lifting the steamy Styrofoam cup to her lips.
The warm green tea seemed to soothe her mind and soul, and she closed her eyes in serenity, inhaling its healing vapor.
Oh, sweet, sweet warmth…
"Anytime, Miss Hinamori," echoed Su Yoshida's honey-coated voice.
For once, Amu looked up at Su with a queer smile.
"Don't call me that. It sounds like I'm old or something. Just Amu is fine."
"Okay… A-Amu!" Su beamed with excitement.
Amu propped her slender legs onto the corner of her black metal desk, and continued sipping her hot tea, listening to Su recite the events of the day.
Amu scanned her office blankly, barely listening to Su's perky babble. Modern paintings hung on the walls, casting bright sprits of color onto the retro black and white scene. Several decorative plants speckled the office, and bouquets of various dried flowers hung upside-down on the walls – something she'd done since she was a child. It made the flowers dry stiff, to be preserved longer. Every bouquet she'd earned since college graduation hung on her office walls. Some thought it to be ominous and dark; Amu saw it as her very own décor, adding a splash of vibrant color to her boring office job.
She made a mental note to bring Nagi's flowers to the office the next day.
But as hard as she tried to distract herself with everyday things, she couldn't help thinking about Ikuto.
The instant that happened, her mind would obliviously wander. Whether it was concern, attraction, anger, or simply the thought of the day, she could not get Ikuto out of her mind. Eventually, she'd snap out of it, staring intently at Su in hopes of retrieving her concentration. However, it failed.
She couldn't push the image of a bloody, unconscious Ikuto out of her mind.
It became more and more frightening as her thoughts increased.
When Su came across lunchtime, Amu snapped out of her reverie, and interjected,
"Ah, yes, about lunch. I'll be going to the outskirts of the city, so could you notify Miss Watanabe that I requested an extended lunch hour?
"Sure. That's funny; Mister Fujisaki said the same thing. Are you two going out on a date?"
Amu sputtered on her tea, and quickly wiped her mouth with a napkin before any could escape onto her clothes. She sighed in relief, regaining her composure instantly.
"No, no," she managed to let out a small laugh. "We're just meeting some friends of ours."
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry for misunderstanding, I just –"
"Perfectly understandable." She waved a hand dismissively.
And with that, the brief delay was surmounted. Su finished reading off the rest of the schedule, and Amu managed to tune in an ear and catch most of the day's happenings. She sent Su on her way, and as she waltzed out the door, she turned and smiled at Amu.
"You seem noticeably cheerful today, Mi – err, Amu," she said warmly. "Did something happen over the weekend?"
Amu just stared at her blankly, mind instantly wandering.
Did something happen over the weekend?
Oh, something happened all right.
Her mind could hardly wrap around the fact that it was all past. It was now a memory to reflect on – almost getting kidnapped, threatened with a gun, saved by a hero, and dragging a bloodied celebrity back to her apartment, who just happened to be the love of her teenage life.
"…mu? Miss Amu?" Su's voice broke into her thoughts.
Amu stared blankly at Su for a moment, smirked, and then looked down at her desk.
"Y'know…" she started.
She smiled.
"…You probably wouldn't believe it if I told you." She muttered with a grin. "Go on, Su."
"Yes, ma'am," Su let out a small giggle.
Amu watched the green-haired secretary waltz cheerily out the door, humming softly as she clip-clopped down the hall.
Cheerful?
Amu mulled over the words of her secretary, over and over. She seemed… cheerful to Su. She knew she felt different, like she was in a strange mood, but…
Cheerful?
Of anything, she'd venture to say that her outside character was depressed.
How the heck could you be cheerful, Amu?
She simply sighed, brushed it off, and took another sip of her tea. It burned the surface of her mouth, but it felt so good.
Amu stared bitterly at the scattered papers across her desk, and took a glance at her silver watch.
9:38.
She sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair. Lunchtime couldn't possibly come sooner.
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"Tsukiyomi?"
Kuukai knocked softly on Amu's door, slightly hesitant to wake the constantly sleeping man.
He heard a loud scratching sound beneath him, and looked down.
"Shh!" Kuukai whispered harshly.
Tucker looked up at him, tongue hanging out, half-smiling. He continued scratching at Amu's front door with a whine. Kuukai hurriedly pulled his keys out of his back pants pocket.
"Alright, okay! Chill!" He whispered harshly again, glaring at the golden retriever. "You don't wanna wake him up, do you?"
Kuukai pushed the key through the lock, turning and failing to open. He tried again, persistent and slightly impatient.
"C'mon, stupid –"
Finally, the lock gave way with a click, and Kuukai opened the door slowly, peering around the dimly lit apartment. Tucker bounded in between his legs, and instantly, his ears perked up and his nose twitched. Kuukai walked into the apartment, and was slightly startled to see a tall figure leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Oh. So you are awake." He rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the great answering service."
Ikuto calmly took a sip of milk from the glass in his hand.
"I was specifically ordered not to answer the door for anyone."
"What are you, her kid?" Kuukai muttered to himself, smirking.
"What are you, her dog keeper?" Ikuto fired back.
Kuukai stared at him incredulously, surprised that he heard the offhand comment. He smirked.
"Oh yeah, I forgot – cats have insane hearing."
Ikuto did not smile. He simply glared restlessly at the intruder that dared to invade his privacy. The fluffy, golden intruder glared right back, snarling lowly.
Kuukai could've sworn he was in the middle of a western stand-off.
"Look, he's just irritated. He won't hurt you."
"I'm trembling," Ikuto commented sarcastically.
Kuukai filled up Tucker's food and water bowl, slightly unnerved by the tense mood in the room. He finished, and stood up, stretching obnoxiously.
"O-kay, well, as much as I'd love to stay and be the referee, I'm starving. I gotta be heading out."
He seemed to hesitate, as if waiting for Ikuto to say something.
"Something stopping you?" Ikuto questioned raucously.
Kuukai smirked.
"Any messages for Mom?" He asked, opening the door.
Ikuto was silent. His gaze hadn't drifted from the snarling golden retriever.
"Yeah," he answered.
Kuukai waited, and Ikuto finally looked at him blankly.
"We're out of milk."
Kuukai nodded, smirking inwardly.
"I'll be sure to let her know."
He closed the door behind him, grinning. He could only imagine how much of a hell the next hour would be for Tsukiyomi Ikuto, the human cat.
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"Nagi?" Amu knocked on the black office door softly.
"Come in, Amu."
She opened the door, and Nagi smiled at her handsomely from behind his desk.
"Good afternoon," he said gently, standing and placing a file in the corner cabinet.
As always, his appearance was refined and pristine – long, navy hair pulled into a low ponytail, white dress shirt and tucked in to his smoothly-ironed khaki pants. His soft, brown eyes only added charm to his handsome smile – Amu always wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend.
Then again, when she thought about how many he'd politely rejected, his flawless perfection seemed to decrease.
Nevertheless, he was one of the best, most faithful friends Amu could have.
"I'm going to head out pretty soon – I don't want to miss the bus, so I guess I'll do a little shopping before meeting you guys at lunch," Amu said, peeking her head into his office.
Nagihiko waved his hand dismissively.
"No, you don't have to do that. I plan on leaving soon, too; you can ride in my car."
"Oh, okay."
Amu walked into his office, and closed the door behind her.
Nagi's office was relatively similar to hers – mainly black and white, which was Kyoko Magazine's theme, with a few splashes of color on the walls. Paintings, plants, and even a few childish drawings from the students at his mother's dance studio. He frequently acted as his mother's assistant on weekends and breaks, and the kids loved him.
Amu walked slowly up to Nagihiko's desk, turning her attention to him. He shuffled some papers around, signed a couple papers, and said distractedly,
"Let me just finish up here and we'll head out."
Amu took a closer look at her friend's eyes, and placed her hands on his desk.
"You didn't get much sleep last night, did you?" She asked with a concerned smile.
He looked at her, slightly startled by the question. It only became more evident to Amu when his eyes met with hers.
There were slight dark circles under his eyes, something that never happened to his flawless pale skin, even under minor sleep deprivation. His wide, soft brown eyes were narrowed and weary-looking.
Finally, he smiled softly, and ran a hand through his navy silk bangs.
"Is it that obvious?"
The corners of his eyes wrinkled as he smiled.
Amu felt pity for her friend. Nagi never looked this drained. He was always the one cheering Amu up, comforting her when she had a lack of sleep.
She sighed, and sat on the edge of his desk.
Now it was her turn.
"What's on your mind?" She asked softly.
Nagihiko looked down blankly, still smiling half-heartedly. His furrowed eyebrows and tired eyes made him look almost cynical. He placed a hand on his forehead, sighing deeply.
"I don't really… know." He whispered quietly. "Everything. My head just feels like it's weighed down with stress. Work is terrible… Miss Watanabe has me cleaning up next month's issue for the fourth time, as if I didn't have enough on my plate. And between planning the reunion with Tadase and helping Mama out at the school… mmh, that feels nice…"
He stopped mid-sentence, closing his eyes and finally relaxing his tense shoulders beneath Amu's gentle touch.
Through the middle of his rant, Amu had maneuvered her way behind his chair and laid her hands gently on his tense shoulders. The muscles from his neck to his shoulders were strained, and Amu squeezed them gently in just the right places. The tenseness visibly disappeared, and Nagi finally released his habit of good posture and slumped back in his chair.
Amu suppressed a laugh.
As much pity as she felt for her friend, she couldn't help but smile at the serene, almost dumb-struck grin on his face.
"Sounds tough," she agreed. "But the way I see it, heavy work is like a mid-term – remember those? – and the harder you study and work, the more satisfaction you'll feel when it's all over. And straight-A student Nagihiko Fujisaki will pass with flying colors, with energy and poise to spare."
Nagihiko finally let out a real smile, looking up at Amu with gentle brown eyes.
"Only you would compare an adult's job to a high-school mid-term."
They both laughed, and Amu finished massaging her blue-haired friend's shoulders. He rolled his neck around a few times, and bid her intimate thanks, before grabbing his tan trench coat and holding the door open courteously. Amu nodded her thanks.
As they walked down the black and white halls, Nagihiko asked abruptly,
"So, do you plan on telling anyone about… him?"
The words struck Amu like an arrow.
She had nearly forgotten about him.
And those had to be the worst words to bring him back into her mind.
"Umm… well –"
"I won't pressure you," Nagihiko said tenderly, calming her nerves with his gentle voice. "If you don't want to think about it now, I won't say another word."
"No, it's not that, it's…" Amu hesitated, trying to find the right words to say without saying too much. "I… don't know if I want to say anything. I mean, as much as I want everyone to know, I just… don't want everyone to know. Y'know?" She pleaded hopelessly.
Nagi chuckled.
"I completely understand."
"And I'm afraid everyone else won't!" Amu wailed, shoving her forehead into her hand.
"Amu, if there's anyone in the world that will understand your predicament, it's your best friends. I'm sure they'll find it in their hearts not to disband you from further contact or communication," he said with sarcasm.
She huffed, and glared at his sweet little sarcastic smile.
Although she would never admit or show it, she really was worried about the luncheon she was about to have with her friends. Ordinarily, she would be thrilled –
However, the injured musician holed up in her apartment definitely put a damper on things.
Yaya would probably just squeal and demand for an autograph and personal interview. Kuukai already knew, he seemed supportive, although he teased her about it. Rima would metaphorically ring her neck, but would eventually cool down enough to simply glare at her for not spilling sooner. Nagihiko already knew as well, and he seemed whole-heartedly supportive, but Amu knew something was holding him back. Tadase would…
She cringed, and stepped into the elevator.
Tadase.
Just the thought made her stomach turn. This had happened before. Ikuto had stayed in Amu's room at one point when they were together, after being slightly injured, and when Tadase found out, he didn't look Amu in the eyes for days. Although the two were cousins, something that happened in the past had permanently separated them with deep, dark hatred. Tadase did a good job of hiding it, but Amu couldn't be fooled.
It tore her heart out just thinking that she only worsened the hate by falling for one and denying the other.
"Amu? You alright?"
Amu looked up, startled. The elevator doors were open before her, and she stared at the ground floor.
"Y-yeah, sorry. Just thinking."
He gave her a knowing smile, and they walked into the lobby.
Nagi signaled the woman at the front desk with his usual nonchalant wave, indicating 'off-to-lunch'. He led Amu to his black Mercedes Benz, and unlocked the car. He opened the driver's seat door, and said over the car,
"By the way, how in the world did you learn to massage like that?"
Finally, Amu let out a laugh, releasing all of her tension and oppressive thoughts.
"Kuukai says I'm a natural whenever he comes home from the gym. He told me to start a business or something."
Nagi chuckled, shaking his head and rubbing his neck. "I'd hire you," he muttered with a smirk.
And through the entire car drive, Amu pushed the negative thoughts out of her mind and had a nice conversation with her friend Nagi.
Maybe the lunch wouldn't be so bad… she just had to keep her mouth shut – something she was never good at.
(A/N) - so do any of you hardkore Jane Austen fans notice the connection to "Persuasion" here?
i'll give you a minute.
...
see it? yeah. i know i do. well, as you can probably tell, this is basically the genuinely boring filler chapter that i had to stuff in here somehow. sorry :3
anyhoo, review. thanks.