Hellsing and all other associated copyrights owned by Kouta Hirano and others. Should any one of these parties wish it, I will remove this story at once.

Here By My Side

Pip drifted through unnameable thoughts and sensations. A void of weird colours and alien feelings. It wasn't a bad existence, it was what he wanted. He simply needed to understand the God was overly literal with answering prayers.

Talking with Seras he missed the most. Speaking to her was like conversing with her across a room. Muted words, unheard and cold. The delicate smell and taste of her being surrounded and was so distant at the same time.

Emotions came through perfectly. Support and care, warmth and love he sent to her. At times he could tell that Seras felt alone and worried. Pip happily became a sun to shine for her and only her. It was a pain to be unable to hold her in his arms. Manifesting took so much out of his woman. She couldn't do it for long. But he was with her, it was more that he'd every dreamed of.

So he floated along in the colourless abyss. He felt the tiny strands of strain and exhaustion. He pushed out his smiling emotions. Bright comfort and his unconditional support. A soft pull, then more insistent. Without warning it became a maelstrom. He fought it. It didn't matter. He was ripped free. He careened down the vortex. Blind, reeling helpless Pip struggled vainly against the force. An eternal moment of cold void.

Air.

He gasped for breath, real breath. Eyes blurred. Heart beat. Alive. Flesh twitched. Blood flowed. Alive. Grey fog in front of him. Cold. Something made a sound. He tried to blink. The mass swam in front of him. Another noise. He managed to blink. His vision cleared, a little. He got his arms to twitch. His name, someone was calling him. His head flopped to the side. Seras. She was calling for him. Her hand outstretched she fell to the ground and did not move.

"Seras!" he coughed and willed himself to stand as he twisted over. And slammed head-first into the ground. The hallow pain from his nose shoved at his eyes. He tried to push up. The stone floor mocked him. His arms denied him. Déplacez! Déplacez les bras stupides! A jerk from the muscles in his left. Skittish fright slowly warmed his skin. His heart rumbled. Seras was hurt, he had to get to her.

His left arm suddenly lurched forward. Numbly he clutched at the rock and painfully drug himself closer. The cruel edges scrapped and bit his skin. Cold pain kept him from feeling anything else. Déplacez déplacez déplacez! His right arm trembled and jerked. It was like trying to learn how to move all over again. His heart was a hammer and his body the anvil. He tensed both arms and shoved with all that he had. His muscles screamed as they lifted him up. Everything was sore and abused.

Pip crawled over to Seras, rock scraping his knees and elbows. Hot needles into frozen flesh. His flesh was slow, unresponsive. His panic ebbed away. He shivered. It was cold. Painfully, he finally made it to where Seras fell. He touched her. She wore a dark shirt and pants, coated with a thin layer of dirt. Her blonde hair lusterless and pale. The vampire was as cold as death. Pip hoped it was normal. He didn't think she had a pulse. Pip mentally raced around. For warmth and hope. He had no way to check if she was still 'alive', all he could do was wait. Pip forced himself into a sitting position and stopped.

Where are my clothes?

Pip heaved Seras up to carry her. He cautiously opened the wooden door and meekly took a look down the corridor. Empty. Only the dust and shadows watched. Jusqu'ici si bon. He frantically attempted to recall the layout of the basement. He never really had been down here before. Pip thought that Seras's room was near the entrance. He'd pray that he didn't run into Alucard or any one else on the way, but wasn't willing to risk it like last time.

He darted out quickly. His tissues and skin more mobile now; not where he'd remembered them, but good enough. He passed doors. He hoped this was the right direction. The last maps he looked at read that Alucard's room was at the far end of the dungeon. It got lighter, good sign. The air got fresher. He padded forward and started trying doors. Empty, empty, empty, water closet. He must be nearby. The next door was definitely her room.

Small coffin in the corner, bed on the other side, it looked new. An oak dresser in between. Cheerfully he bounced in and lie her down in her coffin. It was lined with dirt. It explained the earth on her shirt. His immediate concern taken care of he turned to his own problems. He didn't see anything for him in the open and did not want to rifle through Seras's things to find clothes for himself. Pip settled for wrapping the bed sheet around himself.

There was nothing left but to wait now. Sleep was impossible. He kept thinking on what happened. How? Maybe Mignonette figured out how to manifest me? It made as much sense as anything else. Hours and hours alone, Pip's stomach made it very clear that he wanted food, but nothing was available. When Seras woke up, then he'd ask. He tried sleep but his body was a coil. Wound up upon itself the tension sustained itself.

He stared at the wall and zoned out. Pip thought the ambient light went dimmer. A noise. Seras stirred. He moved over and watched her. A grunt, Seras pushed her eyes open. Pip smiled over her.

"Mon amour."

"Good morning Pip."

"It feels like forever."

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"I just have one question." Seras nodded. Pip's face dropped. "Where are my pants?"

She giggled and got up. She opened her cabinet and took out some clothes.

"I had to guess at the sizes. I bought several." she said and handed him the stack. Then she turned around and quietly sat on the bed. Most of the clothes didn't fit well. They were all loose fits. She thought he was bigger than he was.

He sat down by her, wanting to touch her.

"How did you..." Pip stopped. Not certain how to even begin to phrase the question. He settled for looking at his body.

"I saved one of your hairs and..." she waved her hands around, just as unsure what to say, "grew it." She was cold and pale. What did she feel?

"It was painful, so close and so far away." Pip reached out and brushed some of her hair aside. Elle est parfiat.

"I've been- It's been so quiet." She still looked down, waiting.

She's waiting for you, idiot. Pip kissed her. His hands carefully ran through her hair. Softly, quietly he loved her. She stiffened briefly and relaxed. Seras leaned closer as Pip caressed her.

"Je t'adore" he breathed. She was perfect. He ran his fingers along the back of her neck and to her shoulders. He pressed his lips to her nose, her cheeks and forehead. He reached under the hem of her shirt and pulled up. Only a hastily thrown on white bra clothed her chest.

He gilded across her her back, feeling the tiny hairs flit by. She tensed and jerked away. He went slower, more cautiously. Pip leaned closer, she was so cold. He pulled her into his embrace. Seras threaded her arms around and squeezed.

"I've been so lonely" she breathed. She titled her head and kissed him lightly. His arms encircled her and he kissed back deeply. Achingly his warmth spread to her skin. His fingers still touched, still caressed her. She flinched and jumped as they explored her body. Sensations she could not name brushed by.

His lips moved lower, to her neck. Seras leaned back to let him. Gently Pip lay her down. His hands danced across her lower back. She breathed deeper and her arms slid off Pip's back. He trailed his fingers down her side all the way to her feet. He plucked up her legs and quietly pulled off her pants.

He caressed her legs, kissed her toes. Seras jumped and gasped. Amour de femmes ayant leurs pieds a embrassé. Pip smiled and gently rubbed her feet. Seras made soft pink noises. He stroked higher and higher on her legs. A whisper of sensation against velvet skin. A satin touch on her thighs and then he moved to her stomach. There was so much of her he wanted. He needed to have all of her.

He kissed her bellybutton. Kissed his way up her stomach. He avoided her breasts. Some many little boys would have been fixated on them. She deserved to be loved everywhere. His hands flowed across her collarbone. A kiss on her neck made her jump. Pip smiled gently. He nuzzled her neck, licking and brushing her silken skin. She twitched and breathed harder. Her pleasure was all that mattered.

He massaged and kissed her, treated her as such a beautiful woman should be. His touches went lower again, and he reached behind her back and undid the bra clasp. A silent click and both ends pulled away. Seras trembled and her body strained.

Pip had seen her tear through undead, challenge vampire-hunters, brave the darkness with fear. To see her like this was painful. He pressed close, held her tightly.

"I will never hurt you mon amour. Je t'adore. Always." Seras weakly returned the hug. Nervousness tingling from her fingertips. Breath, silence, warmth, solace. Her finger quietly stopped edging into his back. Pip waited until all her fright ebbed away. He caressed her skin, gossamer touches for comfort.

He rubbed her knees, silent across her skin. Patiently he circled up to the edge of her panties. Without answer Seras arched up and let him slide them off. Pip placed them aside and ran his fingers up and down the inside of her legs. Feather-light his hands felt their way down to her.

Soft touches on her center caused her to tense. Pip waited for her to relax before caressing again. He was slow. Letting her enjoy it. Son plaisir, that is all that matters. His hands made lazy circles while he kissed her. Pip gave her time to enjoy to feel. He waited until he could no longer wait.

Gently, quietly he entered her. Slow, he wanted her get used to it. He watched her, wanting to know what she liked, how she liked. An easy surge and Seras grunted. Pip kissed her again, tasting her innocence, breathing her in. Another relaxed thrust. He felt her hips against his. She was so different; cold and velvet and so utterly intoxicating.

He pushed forward and back. His own bliss numbed his mind. His hands stroked the beauty. He wanted her, needed her to cry out in ecstasy. A few tenses and gasps from her. Pip felt the end coming. La fois prochaine, Pip thought as he released, la fois prochaine.

Pip gently slid away. He raced to catch his breath. Seras curled up in his arms and placed her ear on his chest just over his heart. She lie here, silently listening to his heartbeat. Pip hugged her close. He breathed in the colour of her hair, the small scent of her contentment. His fingers trailed over her back, feeling the velvet of her skin. It got a short squeak from her.

"So perfect, so beautiful" he whispered to her. Seras's mind flew, uncertain on what to say.

"I-uh-You-ah" Pip smiled as she tried to speak,"uh Warm." She blurted out and squirmed closer. He squeezed tighter.

"Je t'adore. Toujours, Mignonette."

"I love you too."

He felt worn and starving, but not ready to move. Silence held a gentle sway for a moment. "Its been empty without you."

"I can liven the place up now."

"Hope so."

"Bet everyone missed me."

"Yeah, they did."

"I should get back to work soon, n'est-ce pas?" A question appeared on Seras's face and then vanished.

"Yeah."

"Guess I should see Integra soon." A pause.

"O-kay."

Author's Notes:

Correction to previous note on Alucard. He will appear towards the end of this flashback and then again towards the end of the story.

More messages added to 'The Broader Picture'.

The 40k arcs will pick up again with 'Eater of Worlds'.