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Chapter Eleven: Trying To Let Go!

Alissa groaned as she rolled over. Her head throbbed and she felt nauseated. She pulled the sheet over her covering her naked body as she sat up. She couldn't believe she had slept with John. She was vulnerable, and needed someone to make her feel wanted. She loved Randy but John was the one that was there, holding her when she felt like crying, and saying what she needed to hear. She smiled at the sight of John walking into the room with a bottle of water in one hand and pills in the other. "I thought you might need these." He sat down on the bed next to her. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of shorts, showing his boxer briefs like he always did. He leaned in placing a kiss on her lips.

She smiled. "Thank you. Your too good to me!" She swallowed the pills and took a drink before saying another word. "John I need to know what last night was?"

He rubbed his head. "To be honest I really don't know."

She laughed. "Okay, was it a one night stand?"

He thought for a second. "No definitely not."

"Then what was it?" She asked.

"I guess we were both kind of lonely and leaned on each other. It's the only thing I can come up with!"

She smiled, and moved closer, planting kisses on his jawline. "I didn't know you liked me like that!"

"You know I like you. Don't tell me your in denial again?" He crushed his lips on hers and explored her mouth until they both needed a breath.

"Well I am definitely not in denial anymore." She smiled. "John I don't want to hurt you. You deserve better than this. So I can't let this continue!"

He took a breath. "Hey, your not going to hurt me. I know you are in love with Randy, and technically I am not stealing you away. He made his choice, why does that have to effect us? I can't help how I feel. Your my girl, always will be, whether your with me or not!"

She smiled. "Your right! So I am gonna go with another motto. How about we let it go, and whatever happens, happens!" She felt bad that with all the stuff that had happened between the three of them, this was one thing that Randy had accused them of, being together behind his back, but Randy wasn't knocking down the door to get to her, so he wasn't allowed to be upset. Since he is with Stacey.

"Okay, that's good enough for me. As long as I am getting a chance, I will take whatever I can get." He kissed her once more before getting up and putting on a shirt.

"Just one thing." John looked at her. "I think we should tell Randy if this goes any further. I don't want him to find out from someone other than us." He nodded in agreement. She laid back down and fell back to sleep. She was exhausted and so content she couldn't move. John went to his garage messing around with his cars, then taking each one out for a ride. He had been gone for a few hours by the time he came in. Alissa had just woke up. Her clothes weren't on the floor, she couldn't find them anywhere. She looked through his clothes to find something to put on, so she could go down the hall and get her own. Just in case Matt happened to see her. Just as she found a t-shirt to wear, two arms wrapped around her. She turned around quickly, losing grip of the sheet, and it dropped to the floor. "Oops." She said with a grin.

"What it's not like I haven't seen you naked before." He smirked.

"Well only once. I am a bit shy."

"You really shouldn't be. Your sexy." *Kiss* "Beautiful." *Kiss* "A good kisser." *Kiss* "Sweet." *Kiss* "Loving."

"You're trying, I will give you that much!" She grabbed the sheet from the floor.

"Come on!" He threw his hands in the air.

"What?" She snickered. She knew what she was doing.

He walked up behind her and thrusted into her, to let her feel the bulge that had formed in his shorts. "Baby, I want you, are you seriously going to deny me?"

She smiled. "Getting better." He turned her back around and laid her on the bed, showering her with kisses all over her body. Just as things were getting hot and heavy, someone knocked on the door. John stood up adjusting his bulge, and Alissa put on the shirt she had picked out. John opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" John questioned.

"I came to see Ally, I hadn't seen her in awhile and thought I would visit." Randy looked around the room, then back and forth at the pair.

"Hi Randy." She spoke.

"I came to surprise you, but I am the one that got the surprise!" He replied.

Both she and John searched each others eyes, waiting for the other one to say something. "Randy I am sorry you found out this way!"

"Are you two a couple now?"

"Kind of! Ally answered.

Randy's face fell. "John do you mind if I talk to her alone?"

John half smiled and walked out of the room. She sat on the bed, waiting for him to start. "I can't believe you slept with him. I don't like this. If your trying to hurt me, you did."

She sighed. "I wasn't trying to hurt you, honestly it just happened. I like him, and everything just seems to come so easy with him. I guess because we get along so well, but Randy, you can't get upset over this. We are not together!"

"I know. I am sorry, I was just trying to hold on to you for as long as I could. I was being selfish."

"I understand that, but your with her and you should try to make it work." Even though it was ripping her insides out, she was letting him go. "Can we still be friends?"

He nodded. "Of course."

He walked out of the room and left. She felt tears slipping, when John came back in. He wiped the wetness from her eyes away, and kissed her.

"Darlin', are you okay?" She put her arms around his neck. He pulled her onto his lap and held her. "I hate that he does this to you."

He held her for a bit longer. When she finally calmed herself she took a shower and got dressed. She walked in the living room. "Where's John?" She asked her friend.

"He went out with Matt. He said to tell you he would be back in a bit, and if you needed him to just call."

She sat down on the couch with Riley. "What's going on between you and Matt?"

"We slept together last night, and he is amazing."

Alissa felt a smile spread across her lips. Her friend was happy, she hadn't seen her this happy after meeting a guy, since they were teenagers. "I can tell, from the look on your face."

"Thanks. So what's going on between you and John?"

"We slept together last night too. We are going with the phrase, whatever happens, happens. I really like him and he treats me good. It's just, I am not in love with him. My heart is still elsewhere for the time being." They sat and talked about the two Cena males, until they walked in the door. John leaned down and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he picked her up. He carried her down the hall to his bedroom.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm gonna prove to you, how much I want you!" He smiled and kissed her again. He laid her down on the bed gently, and pulled his shirt off, then hovered over top of her, as he crushed his lips on hers. They stared into each others eyes, as he undressed both of them. He planted kisses on each of her hips, then kissed up her body until he reached her mouth. He claimed her lips then slid his hardened cock in between her legs and slowly moved in and out. He rolled his hips with every thrust, which made her want him more. He went in as deep as he could, giving her every inch of him. They were both beading up with sweat, when they reached their climax together. He leaned in and kissed her once more, before collapsing next to her. They both were silent for a moment, neither one daring to move.

She laid in his arms, wondering if John had just made love to her. "John?" She said as he brushed her hair out of her face with his fingers and kissed her head.

"Hmm."

"Did you just make love to me?" She asked.

He lightly smiled. "I, guess I did!" He turned her over to look her in the eyes.

"That was the first time anyone ever made love to me!" She spoke as a tear slipped down her cheek.

He thumbed it away and kissed her forehead. "Dammit, if I had known, I wouldn't have done it. Your first time is suppose to be special and now I have ruined it!" He rolled onto his back and placed one arm behind his head, while the other was still underneath her head.

She leaned over on his chest and kissed it. "Believe me you didn't ruin it, you were amazing, and made it special in every way!" She crushed her lips on his. then laid her head down on his shoulder. She ran her fingers over his chest and spoke the words she was feeling in that moment. "I love you John."

He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. "Love you too!" They both slipped into a silent slumber, neither one knowing what may come of this, but willing to take a chance.