Confronting the Moonwalker

I Kick Ass and Get Some Soul-Food

After we left the mansion, Nami asked me, "What the hell was that? Why did you beat up that butler? There was no reason for it! Now how are we going to get a ship?"

Luffy stopped. He turned to Nami and said in a dead serious tone, "Screaver isn't a bad person. He must have done it for a good reason. He wouldn't hit an innocent person. That butler must be a bad guy. Right?" He turned to me.

"Yes. That "butler" is actually the terrible pirate, Captain Kuro. He has been hiding on this island for three years and plans to kill Kaya and take all her money. He is going to use his pirate crew to raid the village and blame them while getting away with murder and will remain on this island with wealth and peace, or something like that."

"How do you know?" Zoro asked.

Maybe you shouldn't be telling them all this. Michael suggested.

Hey man, I got this! I basically can see the future in this place! One Piece is gonna be a cake walk. Now how am I gonna convince them?

"Because I KNOW!"

Yep. No arguments there.

Just before I could finish, we spotted a weird man doing the moon walk down the road.

He stopped and looked at us.

He had long hippy hair and heart-shaped glasses, wearing a bunch of strange looking clothes like a bright blue jacket.

"Stop that. It's an insult to M.J. memory." I said jokingly.

"Excuse me?" He responded.

"Never mind, who are you?" Nami trying to change the subject.

He did a pose and said, "Well if you must know, I am a hypnotist."

"Yeah right. Prove it." Nami scoffed.

"Very well. Come over here boy." He directed at me.

WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU FRUITY SON OF A BITCH?

"Now on the count of one, two, Jango you will fall fast asleep." He said holding his ring.

I rolled up my sleeve.

"ONE."

I prepared my punch.

"TWO."

I lunged at him.

"JANGO."

-THUD-

Darkness. That was all I could see. I couldn't move or anything.

When I came too, I was under a tree. I got up and looked around. Nami was looking rather worried.

Zoro was gone. Luffy was gone.

I could spot Usopp, yelling something at us from down the hill.

Nami eventually glanced over and saw me, looking rather angry, rushed over to me and bonked me on the head.

"Nice going, smart-ass! Getting knocked out before telling us what was going on!"

"Let me guess," I said rubbing my head, "Usopp came over and clarified my story."

"Yes." She replied.

"Luffy and Zoro left for the beach."

She nodded.

"Well, we better get there as well." I said. "Hey Usopp! Come on! We have to hurry in order to defend the beach!"

Usopp turned around and sort of panicked. I guess he was a little afraid of me. Whatever. I ran toward were we docked.

I took about 20 minutes, but that was still better than how long the other two will take.

I looked down the open path and saw the enemy's ship. I looked just like in the anime, cat mast and everything. All the men were looking through our ships.

"HEY! LEAVE MY TREASURE ALONE!" Nami called out behind me.

They all turned around and saw the following: A beat up delinquent, a small red head, and a long-nosed coward hiding behind a bush.

"HAHAHA! You think you can stop us?" One of the men said.

"No! But he can!" Nami replied, pointed at me, and joined Usopp behind his hiding spot.

"Fine. I'll save your treasure." I replied lazily.

I can whip these here bozos without using my powers. The men jeered and started to charge at me.

The first two came at me with short swords, I ducked at close-lined the both of them. I dropkicked the next guy and he collided with another guy. I went into my boxing stance and just kept on punching every single guy who crossed my path. It was just wave after wave of men until they all laid at my feet, beaten and unconscious, while I stood victorious and nearly unharmed.

"HA! That was fun, but too easy. Come on, was dat it?" I said as I kicked one of the fallen pirates.

I looked back and saw Nami and Usopp's gawking expressions.

Luffy and Zoro finally showed up; took them long enough.

"Aw…did we miss the fight?" Luffy asked disappointed.

"Actually you just missed an awesome party. Yeah yeah we had booze, meat, dancing, music, and hookers! You should have been here, everyone else already passed out from too much alcohol." I said sarcastically.

"OH MAN! I missed the meat!" Luffy complained. Zoro just rolled his eyes in disgust at his stupid captain.

"Hey…what are hookers? Are they tasty?" Luffy said scratching his head.

I face-palmed at his ignorance. I looked back and saw that the defeated men had crawled back to their captain, that Jango guy, as Jango was waving his magic ring.

"One…two…Jango!"

All his men roared in anger. There muscles expanded and were shouting curses and beating their chests.

One of them took his fist and smashed the side of the cliff into rubble.

Oh SHITCAKES!

But then I remembered...

Luffy's eyes had rolled back into his head.

-ROOOOOOOOOOOAR-

Fortunately, Luffy was also under the hypnotist's spell and let out a murderous roar.

"Damn it! Not you too Luffy!" Zoro cursed.

Fun fact: I was under the impression that the reason Luffy was so strong in the later show, I thought it was because of this hypnosis that he never woke up from.

I mean it would make sense right?!

-sigh-

Nothing makes sense in this fucking world.

Luffy charged towards the mob of enraged super-pirates. I was smart enough to jump out of the way and let 'nature take its course.'

"GUM GUM GATLING!" Luffy unleashed a wall of punches that delivered all I did in a matter of seconds.

Show off.

Still, at least they would stay down for the count this time. Luffy then rushed over to their ship and ripped of the cat mast. Then he proceeded to crush all of us with it, but failed after being hypnotized by Jango again and got crushed himself.

"We need some extra help. SHAM! BUCHI! GET OUT HERE!" Jango called out.

From the ship, two blurs jumped out and landed near their captain.

They…well…one looked like a total pedophile with hairy legs, green Elvis-style hair, cat ears and pale as a ghost, while the other was just some fat-ass in a cape and a cat mask.

"Oh wow. They're here. They're queer. Get use to it." I said. Zoro gave me a funny look.

"You need to tone it down with the language." Zoro suggested to me.

"Hey fuck you!" I retorted. "I can say whatever I want! What are you my mother?"

"I'd hate to me your mother." He replied.

Don't get mad...don't...get...mad...

I repressed my rage, we had more pressing matters at hand.

"Zoro, before you go up against them, these guys are actually deadly assassins. They're gonna pretend to be weak, but then they'll steal your swords before you strike. Finish them quickly before they steal yer katana." I warned him.

"What? Yeah right. I only need one…"

"Take all three! May I remind you when I took a knife wound from Buggy cuz you were to stupid to see otherwise! Take all three, shithead!"

"Don't call me a shithead, stupid kid!"

"You want to start something, shitty swordsman."

"Bring it, BOY!"

Ok, I know that I shouldn't get into an argument with this guy now, but he was being stupid, and I don't want this to drag out because he's being stupid.

Draw all three swords, kill them quickly, and we can move on to the Baratie Arc. Plain and simple.

The green haired catman was running like a girl, heading toward Zoro. "I'm gonna get you all!"

"Just use all three swords." I told him.

"Yeah yeah." Zoro said and charged at him. The…cat…man…thing…pedo…whatever saw that his façade was all null and void so he charged at Zoro and their weapons clashed.

The fat one joined in and they unleashed a barrage of cat-claw strikes. Zoro was defending himself real well with all 3 of his katana, it seemed like he was just toying with them now. The fat guy used his cat pouncing attack.

I headed back to where Nami was hiding and just sat down.

"What are you doing? Go wake Luffy up!" She yelled at me.

"I'm sorry, why do you take on a whole fuckin army of pirates and then I'll cower behind a bush next time. Wake him yourself."

"Ugh, fine!" She retorted and dashed off towards Luffy.

Uh, you do remember that she gets hurt BECAUSE she goes of past that guy with the ring right? Michael chimed in.

Huh?...OH SHIT!

"NAMI! STOP!"

-SLICE-

Too late. The ringmaster sliced her arm and she fell to the ground.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Now I owe him two punches, one for calling me boy, and the other for cutting Nami.

So much for a cake walk. Michael sneered.

I had no time to focus on that comment.

You know what…I'll just blow him up. Why the fuck not?

I looked straight at that guy through his heart shaped glasses, but before I could do anything, everyone felt a strange sense of evil coming from behind me.

I turned around and saw…ugh…Captain Kuro. In all his unimpressive, but still very evil, glory.

"It is passed dawn, and yet my plan has still not worked! What the hell are you doing?" He shouted to his past crew.

I turned around and said, "Shove your plan up your ass you ass-kissing, betraying, lowly-lying son of a pussy. We aren't letting you get away with the crimes you have committed. You will taste justice." Oh god, I'm starting to sound like Justin Law. Maybe it's a side effect of using his powers. Oh well, not important at the moment.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance boy." He said to me.

Ok, this is comical now, really fucking funny! Seriously, I'm 18 with a height of 6'2! WTF?

You think it's just some running joke that was started by a 15 year old? Michael suggested.

"Don't tell me that you have been stopped by these rats. Have the Kuro Pirates been reduced to a bunch of weaklings in my absence?" He called out to his crew.

He continued about how we were just a bunch of weak kids and how his plans were disrupted, etc. But I was just thinking on how I was gonna beat this asshole.

Jango was sweating at his captain's disapproval, but the Meow Brothers seemed to be angered by his words.

"You call us weak?" Sham said.

"You were strong, but while you were all safe on this island, we were building our strength plundering towns and sinking ships. We have become stronger than you!" Buchi said.

The brothers bared their teeth and charged at their former captain. They leaped over me, kinda glad about that.

"Before you kill us, we will kill YOU!" They pounced and slashed.

-SLICE-

Instead of hitting their captain, all that was there was an empty weapon's case, which was reduced to shreds. Kuro was behind the two, armed with his cat claws, only a few feet from me.

Imagine if Freddy Kruger was a samurai. The gloves were velvet, and the blades gleamed like 10 Hatori Hanzo blades.

"You said you were going to kill…who?" He asked them.

They whirled around, but he did his little stepping routine and disappeared again.

It was like he was trying to river dance, at least I think because it moved so fast my eyes couldn't keep up.

He then reappeared with his arms around both of the two brothers, claws near their throats.

"Ah, my body is still resisting." He said impossibly calm and cut their throats slightly. I could help but be intimidated.

Damn, will Luffy just wake up!

OH SHIT, NAMI!

I charged towards the beach, hoping to get Nami out of their before anything else got messed up.

"5 minutes…If you don't do it in 5 minutes…I will kill everyone with my own hands."

He released the brothers and they pounced on Zoro.

He fought with them for a while. They were really going at it, out of anger or fear.

Fortunately for us, he unleashed his Three Sword Style technique and finished them off in one go.

He pointed his sword at Kuro and began taunting him.

I could see Buchi begging Jango to hypnotize him so he could beat Zoro, which he did.

"One...two...JANGOOOO!"

I saw his muscles expanding as he let out an animalistic roar..

We need to get rid of that guy before he revives ALL of them.

Jango had to be taken out.

But first, Buchi.

"Hey, fat ass. Come get some!" I shouted. He looked at me with beady, evil eyes.

"Nami, watch out!" Zoro shouted.

I saw how close Nami was to getting an extreme hair cut before Luffy knocked her down and caught the ring with his teeth.

But that guy can eat anything, so I didn't worry.

I needed to focus on the big guy, who was focused on me.

"3 minutes until I kill you." Kuro announced.

"Buchi, finish off the swordsman and that other fighter. I'll take care of the strawhat."

"I'm not just a fighter." I said with a smile.

Show them the bling bling, Screaver.

I concentrated and my arms began to glow bright. The glow manifested into my two bazooka barrels, shining in the sunlight.

"I'm a . Demon Weapon!"

I charged at the giant.

He swiped at me, but I deflected with my bazooka. I hit him hard in the gut, and he doubled over. From that I leaped off his back and aimed my gun.

"SUCK ON IT!"

-KABOOM-

As my attack blew a hole in his body, his body changed.

His body turned completely black, and it began to unravel into ribbons of darkness. The ribbons wrapped themselves together tighter and tighter until it created a small pulse of energy and turned into…a molten looking potato. It was like an apple that was thrown in a volcano or something.

A kishin soul. Michael said in my brain.

Wait a minute...holy shit I just killed someone...

Yep. Michael admitted.

I don't know how to feel about that just yet.

It's going to happen Screaver, you best just get use to it.

I almost threw up in my mouth.

You did this?

Well, technically it is a dark soul, but once you absorb it, it acts just like a kishin egg. So you can become a Death Scythe.

Oh yeah. Like Soul Eater! Are you sure this'll work though?

I don't have a clue. Michael admitted.

And what about a witches soul?

Uhhhh…give me some time, I'll come up with something. He said unconvincingly.

I landed on the ground and claimed my prize. I held it in my hand, but everyone was staring at me wondering what the fuck I just did. I had to say something.

"BEHOLD!" I announced, holding my prize, waving my hands around for dramatic effect, "this is the soul of one who has strayed from the path of good. A Dark Soul if you would. Any who falls from my hand with a wicked soul shall be rendered to this form, just the same as dying."

All the other pirates were scared shitless.

Honestly I was trembling on the inside.

I was afraid I'd bitten off more then I could chew with this.

I mean, death was rarely ever confirmed in the One Piece universe, how would something like this be considered?

Zoro seemed to look a little panicked.

Luffy thought it was pretty cool Iguess, telling from his face. Jango was freaking out about how I killed one of his men.

Kuro's expression didn't change. I looked at the soul. It feltrough but warm in my hand. I grabbed it by its 'tail' and took a leaf out of Soul's book...and ate it.

The taste was…indescribable.

It was wonderful, phenomenal, exhilarating, like eating a huge quantity of energy packed in one bite. And yes, the texture going down my throat felt…oooooooh…what's the word…I don't know but it was soothing. A pulse of light emitted from my body and I was immediately energized. All my fatigue faded away and my guns were shining in the sun.

"TIME TO SKIN A CAT!"