SERIES: WHAT IF

TITLE: Another Pointless Argument

(A Jack and Daniel argument. Possible spoilers prior to season nine, but nothing you can't live with)

Standing on the deck of his cabin in Minnesota, Jack flipped the burgers on the grill then turned to Daniel with a sympathetic look as Teal'c continued to expound upon the merits of fatherhood - finally asking Daniel's opinion.

"I don't know. I never had kids."

"Ahm, Daniel…" After taking a sip of beer Jack continued, "I think you had a couple hundred with Hathor."

Rewarded with Daniel's signature scowl, Jack grinned triumphantly.

"Jaaack!"

"Well, it's true. Right T?" He didn't wait for the Jaffa's answer. "You've had way more kids than any of us."

"You've died way more times than me."

"What! Look, Catman, nobody and I mean NOBODY. has ever died more times than you. Nobody." Jack poured some of his beer on the rising flames.

"Yeah? Well, what about Kanan and Ba'al? Huh?"

"For cryin' out loud, that doesn't count."

"Yes it does."

"Does not."

"Does too."

Jack thought it over, "Okay, but you've been invisible."

"Jack, I think we've all been invisible at some point…even you."

"Right."

Daniel shuffled his feet and stared at the burning meat above the flames. "More Asgard downloads than anybody."

"Merlin."

Daniel rolled his eyes, "Old, very very old. Argos."

"Ha! Ma'Chello! Even." Jack ignored Teal'c's attempt to interject something.

"Laira." Daniel smirked evilly.

"Vala." Jack followed up with a "Humph!"

"Freya."

"Vala!"

Daniel faltered for a few seconds. "Sam!"

Choking on his beer, Jack spewed it out onto Daniel's chest and managed to insert "Vala," somewhere in the spewing.

"You ruined my new shirt!"

"Naked!" Another O'Neill victory, Jack thought.

Appearing to be speechless, Daniel dropped his head. "Okay, you got that one – but Mitchell's pretty damned close."

Cam showed up and handed out beers all around. "Close to what?"

"Mitchell doesn't count." This time Jack poured the beer right on the burgers.

"I don't count for what?" Cam questioned.

"Right." Daniel ignored Mitchell and nodded to Jack.

Piling the burgers on a plate, Jack asked, "What was the point of this argument?"

Daniel shrugged once more, "I have no idea."

"Beer?"

"Sure. After I change my shirt."

"Don't let Vala see you take it off!" Jack yelled, laughing, as Daniel disappeared into the cabin.

"She's seen more than that!" Daniel called back and chuckled because he knew victory was his.