Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Chapter 11 The Comfort
"What the hell were you thinking?" Jacob yelled at me, his face contorted with rage as I glared back at him, my arms crossed over my chest in a defiant position.
Like the moron I was, I had been careless while walking through the woods and had stumbled onto the pack as they discussed battle plans in the middle of the woods. Needless to say, Jacob was furious.
"I told you that I had been warned," I snapped at him, trying to convey my contempt for him with just a few words "Not that I would do what you said."
Jacob's shape shivered as a tremor went through him, showing that he was trying to get a grip on his desire not only to phase, but to fuck me as well.
He raised a shaking hand and pinched the space between his eyes, his brow furrowed and his eyes shut tight.
I glanced at the other members of the pack as they watched our little discussion. Actually, these 'discussions' were completely made up of Jacob telling me what to do and me telling him to forget it.
Sam had his arms crossed, looking like he wanted to chew me out for disobeying my alpha.
Well, excuse me for wanting to have a life.
Jared was shaking with excitement as if he was about to phase from anticipation alone. If I didn't know that he was totally psyched about fighting vampires, I would have thought that he needed to go to the bathroom.
Embry was his usual neutral self, arms crossed loosely across his broad chest, watching the proceedings with little interest.
Quil looked depressed, his stare focused absentmindedly on Paul's shirtless torso as the older wolf leaned against a tree a few yards away. I noticed that the young shifter's hand kept twitching towards his crotch, like he wanted to touch himself through the cloth and somewhat relieve the sexual tension I knew he had.
Honestly, the kid was hopeless. And lucky. I wish I could be that much in love with Jacob; it would make it easier for me to accept my life.
I had been accepting my life for years, content to be the happy little kid who was always smiling. But I had learned that being the defenseless one, the one that always let himself be protected, had its disadvantages. I was incapable of defending myself and this led to being confident that, no matter what, someone would always be there to save me. As a result, the first day at high school had been terrible. I had been mocked for my size, derided for my brains, and called all sorts of derogatory nicknames.
I had wanted to deal with the bullies myself, wanted to show them that I wasn't as weak as they said, but Sam went ahead and told them to fuck off. I was never teased again, openly at least, but I had known that they all thought that I was too weak to take care of myself. The silent judging had been worse than the verbal kind and I promised myself that I would never let myself be weak again, that I would make my own path, no matter what. I wouldn't let myself be controlled.
Or maybe I was just stubborn. Or stupid. Or a healthy dose of both.
I turned back to Jacob, who seemed to have a slightly better grip on himself.
"Embry," he said, his voice shaking slightly with his anger, "I want you to take Seth back to his house and keep him there. I don't care if you have to gag and bind him to his bed, but I don't want him leaving again."
I felt my mouth drop open.
"What?" I shouted, outraged as I stomped my foot. It was a useless gesture, not to mention over dramatic, but it felt like the good thing to do to help drive my point home, "You're still going to keep me at the house? I'm not going to put up with your stupid concerns and I'll be damned if I just stand aside instead of fighting to protect my home!"
His eyes darkened slightly but he kept his cool for the most part.
That is until I uncrossed my arms and held up my middle finger at him like the rebellious idiot I was.
Jacob's face grew even more enraged than before and, with a roar of frustration and anger, he smashed his fist into a nearby tree, creating quite a sizable hole in its wooden surface. An earsplitting crack and a resounding splintering noise shot through the woods as the tree groaned under the immense force it had been victim to.
I dropped my hand and took a step back, feeling slightly intimidated by this show of power. I knew that being alpha meant you were stronger than the normal wolf, but I had never imagined that Jacob was capable of such a thing. A normal werewolf could maybe do that to a normal sized tree, but for him to be able to make an gigantic oak tree shake like it was in a tornado only showed me that he was a lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot stronger than me.
He turned back to me, shaking as he spoke, his voice trembling with all the anger he was holding in, "Seth," he snarled, "if I have to rip your clothes off right now, bend you over, and take your ass as hard and deep as you can handle without passing out so you'll go home and stay out of danger, I'll do it."
He walked up to me, the little bit of fear in my chest growing larger as I saw he was hard through the shorts he was wearing. I took a step back but his hands shot out and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me up to him.
His head dipped down and his lips brushed my ear.
"So don't tempt me," he whispered, earning him a shiver of fear. I felt him smirk into my skin and I pulled away. But not before he could bite gently on the area where his mark had been, as if to remind me that I was his. And, as he squeezed the section of ass I didn't know he had a hold of, only his.
Jerk. Moron. Bastard. Dominant. I couldn't think of which insult to choose for him.
He straightened up and gave me a smoldering look that made me wish the ground would decide that were I was standing was a good place to open a hole and swallow me up. Or Jacob even. Anything just so he wouldn't look at me like that.
He pulled his gaze away, his grip on my shoulders tightening slightly. He ran his eyes over his pack as they stood watching us, Paul disgusted, Quil empathetic and slightly worried, Embry seeming to be a little annoyed at having to miss the battle because of me, Sam looking a little angry himself, as if he also thought that I wasn't capable of taking care of myself. Jared probably hadn't even seen the encounter; he was still bouncing up and down like the tiger on Winnie-the-Pooh.
"The groups are going to be smaller," Jacob said, "But we need to make sure that we stay together. Those that get separated could endanger not only themselves, but the pack-mates that try to rescue them. Stay strong, stay fast," he paused and his gaze drifted down to me, that freaky smoldering look in his eyes again, "and when you think you can't go on...think of your family and friends and that you're protecting them, not just yourself."
It reminded me of a movie I once saw were the general was telling his troops much the same thing as what Jacob was saying. In the end, it turned out that it was supposed to be suicide mission that should have killed the entire group.
He leaned down again as the pack began to disperse to go fight the vampires. Only Embry remained, his arms crossed as he glared at me, the annoyance now more prominent. I felt Jacob's breath run across my face as he moved closer, his arms drawing me in until I was pressed up against him.
"I don't think that we'll lose this battle," he breathed as he began to place butterfly kisses on my face and neck, "but if this is the last time we're together, then I want to feel you one last time."
I felt real, genuine terror race through me as I began to realize what he was saying.
Didn't add rape into the equation when you snuck out, did you? The voice snickered in my head.
Since when did my inner wolf get a sarcastic streak?
Since you ignored me and yelled at Jacob, the voice replied, a distinctly snappish quality in her voice now, resulting in him very nearly raping you. If he had, he would have refused to leave his newly claimed mate and the pack would have been forced to fight the vampires on their own.
There wasn't time to reply as Jacob smashed his lips into mine, his ferocity catching me off guard. He backed me into the tree as he took my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked and nibbled on it. As soon as I my back was fully up against the tree, Jacob began to slowly grind himself onto me, pressing his clothed erection into my stomach before pulling away slightly and then reapplying the pressure an instant later, all the while his mouth continuing to move sensually, his tongue exploring my mouth with an eagerness that scared me even more than I already was. It was almost like he was trying to duplicate the movement of fucking me with his mouth and his covered dick.
I felt my lunch rise in my stomach and I briefly wondered how Jacob would react if I threw up in his mouth. He's probably think it tasted good like the sicko he was.
Or maybe, if I was lucky, he'd be disgusted and start to hate me and break the imprint, resulting in my freedom.
His hand suddenly left the shoulder it had been clutching and slid under my shirt, his rough fingers feeling my abs like they were the most amazing things in the world.
Looks like this wasn't my lucky day: my queasy stomach vanished. Damn it.
"Your skin's so fucking soft," he moaned, his mouth leaving mine and going across my face, nipping at my cheeks and putting the tip of his tongue on my skin at brief intervals, his body continuing it's grounding.
I whimpered as his hand traveled higher, towards my chest. Normally I would have been mad at myself for acting like a submissive but I was so freaking scared of what Jacob was going to do that I let myself off the hook, just this once.
I found some measure of control over my arms and pushed against Jacob's stomach, trying desperately to push him away.
With a gasp, Jacob attacked my neck, biting, sucking, claiming my flesh. His passion was so intense that it caused small amounts of blood which he quickly lapped up to ooze from the wounds.
"Mine, mine, mine," he whispered, his voice sounding delirious.
He had gone off the deep end. And a crazy Jacob making out with me in the middle of the woods meant only one thing: I was dead meat.
"Jacob, the pack is ready," Embry said, his calm voice breaking through Jacob's grunts, moans, and feverish whispers of 'mine'.
Almost as if his pack brother's words were a bucket of ice water dumped on him, Jacob's head snapped up, the passion and lust in his eyes replaced by determination.
"I'll be there directly," he said, authority ringing in his voice.
I stood frozen as Embry left, fear of being alone with Jacob going through me. Or at least I think he left, werewolves move so quietly it's hard to tell where they are.
Jacob looked down at me, his gaze hard and a hint of a wolf in his eyes.
"I'll see you when I get back," he said, his gaze getting more and more wolfish, "And if you put yourself in danger again...I'll break you."
He kissed me once more, making sure to run his hand under my shirt again before taking me by the hand and leading me to where Embry stood waiting, both their faces mask-like. Embry was probably just trying to hold in his laughter.
Without another word I yanked my hand out of his grip and stalked away
I didn't know what would happen tonight or tomorrow, but one thing was for sure, I wasn't going to stick around for either. Even if I had to run away to Canada, I wasn't going to put myself in the kind of danger that staying at Jacob's would certainly come with.
One thing was for sure, I was an idiot and I was going to look back on this and wince.
(Jacob's POV)
I smashed my fist into one of the trees that surrounded me, sending it flying into the darkness.
"Why can't he listen to me?" I screamed to no one, focusing my attention on a particularly problematic tree. I hit it multiple times, each hit loosening bits of wood and making the tree bend further over as I continued my assault. With a final kick, the tree toppled, crashing to the ground with a booming crash.
I had never been so pissed in my life. Not only did Seth ignore my order and sneak out, but he had the gall to fight a vampire when he could have easily just outrun her. I had been fighting the coven and we had been losing. Badly. Then Seth's thoughts suddenly joined the pack. He was running from something, though in the heat of battle we couldn't tell what, then he suddenly turned on whatever was chasing him. We only had enough time to see a red-haired female vampire leap at him before his thoughts vanished. In that moment, I knew that Seth was dead. That he had been killed by a vampire. Then I had felt nothing but pain, nothing but emptiness. I was filled with regret as I realized I would never get to hold him, never get to make love to him, I wouldn't be able to see him bear my children. I had felt so lost without my mate that I had just gone wild, destroying vampires left and right, not caring what I destroyed as long as I did something to ease the gaping hole in my chest.
It only lasted a second before Seth phased back, revealing that he had phased into human to catch the vampire off-guard and take her down.
By the time I realized that Seth wasn't, in fact, dead, I had destroyed more than half the coven of vampires. The rest were dealt with by the rest of the pack.
When I heard Seth's thoughts and knew that I would see him again, I had felt relief, joy, pride, and anger. I left as soon as I could because the last one was rapidly overtaking the other three emotions. I knew that if I saw him again, I wouldn't be able to hold back.
The memory and the thought of what could have happened to my little mate was too much and I broke a branch off of one of the fallen trees before I broke it over my knee like a twig. As soon as that was done I began to hit another tree like a punching bag, venting my anger and frustration on the wooden surface.
I had only lost control like this twice before. The first time was when Sam had explained that Seth needed to be at least sixteen before I could fuck him. The second had been when Seth had come back after he and Quil had talked in the woods. I had practically destroyed a patch of woods a few miles from his house but it was nothing compared to what I was doing now. I guess it helped calm me down, kept me from taking him hard and deep like my wolf wanted.
It seemed to work, my hands were covered in blisters and I was exhausted, completely drained of energy. This was great because if I had any strength I probably would have gone over to Seth's and raped him in his sleep.
The wolf had been unnaturally quiet, almost like it believed what Seth had said. Maybe he is telling the truth, he mused, his voice the softest it had ever been, maybe he really had no choice.
I snorted as I began to stride through the forest towards my house. I was more than happy that my Seth had survived, actually I was ecstatic, but I was mad as hell at him for putting himself in danger. I was going to enjoy punishing him tomorrow.
Even if he did meet that red-haired vampire bitch, he should have just run away, I finally thought back savagely as I stepped over the fallen logs, confident that by the time someone discovered the end results of my rampage/workout everything would be overgrown. To be completely honest, I had been exercising over the last few weeks, even though I didn't need it. I hoped that if I made myself more attractive to Seth, he might start to like me.
I guess it wasn't working. So, it would seem that it was time for plan C.
Plan A was for me to use dominance and intimidation for him to just give into me. Girls seemed to like that shit so I thought since Seth was my submissive it might work on him. Imprints were supposed to be the perfect match for each other and I liked dominating so I assumed he would like to be protected.
Plan B was for me to use threats, violence, and some more muscle to get his attention and to show him that I wasn't joking around. If I couldn't frighten him, I would show what I was capable of when it comes to him.
Plan C was the one that I was going to save for last. I had no idea just what plan C was because I had hoped to have slept with him by the time plan A was put into action.
I groaned as I walked into my backyard. My body was screaming in agony which meant I must have really worked it. I have amazing stamina, and it took a long time for me to feel worn out.
I walked through the back door and into the kitchen, pausing to grab some cereal and a bowl from the cabinet. Taking a gallon of milk from the fridge and a spoon from the drawer next to it, I sat myself down at the kitchen table and poured some of the cereal and milk in the bowl and began to eat, wishing I had someone besides Billy to talk to. I always called him that, though I wasn't sure why. I guess my idea of a dad was someone stern and forbidding and Billy was more like a lovable uncle so I didn't call him something I didn't think suited him. He was great to talk to sometimes, but he was as stubborn as I was when it came to my imprint and that was all I wanted to talk about.
Right on cue, I heard the squeak of wheels that betrayed my dad's presence.
"Jacob?" his gravelly voice was soft, almost like he was asking permission to enter.
"What?" I snapped, not looking at him, preferring to sulk instead.
There was a brief silence before he spoke again, his voice lighter, slightly teasing even. "May I come in?" he asked, his voice gentle. I could tell he was smiling, even though I knew he was scared of me.
I could understand that, I was the alpha and I commanded respect, even though I never asked for it. I guess something about me intimidated people, showing them that I wasn't someone they wanted to mess with. Seth was the only person I had been unable to scare. That was probably why I imprinted on him, because I needed someone to be able to stand up to me.
I turned to him, giving him my coldest glare. "I guess you can," I said acidly.
His smile faltered slightly but soon regained its former strength. "Sam called," he said as he wheeled himself in.
"Really," I said, feigning surprise, "what a surprise."
Billy frowned. "I don't like your attitude, son," he said sternly, his scowl deepening as I rolled my eyes.
"Deal with it," I growled, turning back to my almost empty bowl. Damn it, the remaining cereal was soggy as hell and tasted like shit.
There was another deep silence during which I could almost hear my dad thinking how best to approach whatever topic he wanted to discuss with me. "He said that you destroyed nearly half the vampires and saved the entire pack," he finally said, the pride evident in his voice.
I finished my cereal and turned to him again. He was beaming at me like I was the most amazing thing on the face of the earth.
I stood up, towering over him by a good three of four feet, annoyance going through me.
"And did he tell you why I did that?" I asked, my hands instinctively clenching to stop the tremors that were starting. I wasn't sure why I was angry, only that I was.
Billy's shit-eating grin vanished entirely as he took in my face. I didn't know what I looked like but I was pretty sure it wasn't like a happy camper.
"No," he said slowly, his thumbs running nervous circles on his arm rests, signaling that he was afraid of me, "he just said that you suddenly fought like never before, without any fear. Said that he'd never seen or heard of anything like it."
Good. I wanted to tell Billy what happened myself, wanted to lay out the ground rules for tomorrow.
"The reason I fought so hard," I said, my voice as controlled as I could make it, "was because I thought Seth was dead. I saw a vampire jumping at him in my thoughts and then he just vanished, I couldn't hear him anymore. I didn't fight for the pack like you want me to say, I fought because I had nothing left to live for."
I saw his face darken at the mention of Seth. He had been furious when he found out about my imprinting on a guy and he had refused to talk to me for a long time.
"Son," he said, his voice controlled as well, "I don't want to have this discussion again."
I felt the dam burst inside me and all of my anger rush out.
"Well I do!" I shouted at him, fury and anger pulsing through me like the blood that boiled under my skin, screaming for carnage, destruction and, well, general death to everyone. Like I said once before, it wasn't a good idea to be around the alpha when he was mad; the instincts alphas were born with made him unstable.
Billy, instead of backing away like the smart person would do glared back at me and spoke, his voice ringing with the alpha tone he had never gotten to use. His generation had been normal; none of the people of his time were shifters or ever would be. It was people my age who got the load of shit that comes with being a werewolf dumped on them and their lives snatched away.
"Jacob, Seth-"
"IS MY FUCKING MATE!" I bellowed, smashing my fist into the cabinet top next to me, breaking right through the granite surface and creating a hole that showed the pots and pans beneath, "And I want you to respect that!"
Billy was pissed. He stood there, his face pale with rage, his arms shaking as if he was about to phase, even though I knew he couldn't, his eyes dilating with anger. When I was a little human kid, I had learned that getting my dad angry was a bad idea. He never physically abused us, but boy he could spank me until my ass was as red as a fire engine.
But I wasn't human and I wasn't a boy. I was a werewolf and I was a man and he had insulted my imprint with his unspoken disdain. He didn't even blame me; he thought Seth was the reason for the imprint. He had even gone as far as to suggest that I was supposed to imprint on Leah, his sister, but for some reason she wasn't ready. Since they were similar, my wolf had mistaken Seth for Leah and imprinted on him. I was still trying to figure out how to hire a workman without explaining the hole in the concrete that was the exact shape of my hand; the result of that particular suggestion.
"And why should I?" he growled, his voice low and filled with his anger, "What reason does he give me to accept him? He turned my son into a monster."
I stared at him, completely disgusted by his narrow mindedness.
"I was a monster my whole life!" I shouted throwing my hands up to help make my point, "I turn into a fucking wolf for god's sake!"
"No," snapped Billy, leaning forward slightly in his chair, "you were a protector, you always looked out for your pack and you kept yourself under control. But since Seth phased and you 'imprinted' on him," I gritted my teeth when he added the verbal quotation marks around the word, "you act like someone else, someone I don't know, you never lost your temper like this, you were always putting a smile on everyone faces, you were happy."
I stared at him, beginning to feel suspicious.
"There's something else, isn't there?" I accused him quietly, moving until I was right in front of him, "There's another reason you are mad about me imprinting on Seth."
I saw him begin to squirm uncomfortably under my intense gaze, refusing to look back at me.
"Tell me!" I barked, implying the alpha voice. I wasn't sure why I used it on a human, but it might have been instinct driven.
Whatever the reason, it worked.
"I don't want my only son's children to come from another male," he choked out, trying to keep the words in at the same they went out of his mouth.
I felt shock and then a realization hit me like a sack of bricks.
"You knew that Seth could have children," I said, feeling a small amount of understanding and anger coming out, "you knew about submissives and dominants but you didn't want me to know."
Billy said nothing, merely avoided my gaze.
"And you would have kept me in the dark right up until the day I fucked him and became a dad?" I asked, letting my face disappear into a mask. I probably would have looked insane if I showed what I was feeling.
Finally, Billy nodded.
I sighed; suddenly feeling like the weight of the world had been dumped on my shoulders.
"Dad," I sighed, sitting on my haunches so we were eye-level and took his hands in mine, noting that, big as his hands were, they still disappeared into mine, "Seth makes me happy. He's stubborn and refuses to listen to me, but I think that's what I need. I guess that if I had a submissive imprint I would eventually hurt them because I would slowly let myself get lazy and lose control because they would just give in to me. I could hurt them and any children that we would have together because I would be out of practice, unable to keep myself together when it comes to phasing. Seth keeps me on my toes, making me focus more on keeping a grip on myself. He forces me to work for his affection, and it makes me want it all the more. I want him to carry my children because I know he'll be strong for them and me."
I paused, looking at my dad, searching for any emotion but found none. I looked down at his hands again and gave a small laugh. "I'm guessing we'll have some pretty big and rowdy kids," I said, running small circles into his rough hands, knowing that mom used to do it to calm him down, "but I know that he'll handle it. He's just that kind of person. No matter what, he takes whatever is thrown at him with a determination. I need that characteristic in a mother figure to my children."
I glance up at him, expecting to see the mask or even anger. I saw neither. Instead, his gaze had softened as he looked at me like he used to do whenever I came out to the garage to help him fix cars.
"Son," he sighed, taking his right hand out of mine and setting it on my shoulder, "I can't doubt that you care about him," I felt my heart soar, and with it, the exhaustion of the day returned to my bones. "I just wish I could know for sure if he was your true imprint."
I laughed, standing up and looking down at him. I felt a lot better knowing that my father might just start to accept my wolf's choice of mate.
"Let me put it this way," I said, after yawning slightly, "every time I see him I want to chain him to my bed and fuck the living daylights out of him."
Billy laughed, appreciating the reference to Sam's comment on Emily when he first imprinted on her. It had been a dark time for both of them, but now they looked back on it and laughed, mostly because after I phased, Sam lost the alpha position and was completely and totally lost about sex. After Emily forgave him and let him make love to her he had no clue what he was doing and Emily later said it was like they were both virgins again. Sam was lucky to have imprinted on her, she was just right for him, which I guess was partly the reason she forgave him.
"Dad," I said before taking my leave, "Seth is coming tomorrow and I want you to treat him like he deserves, like my mate."
Billy gave me a tired smile, the wrinkles on his weather beaten skin growing larger as he said, "I can't promise you that I'll behave myself, but I will try."
I chuckled. "That's good enough for me."
I walked up the stairs, calling good night back to him as I walked into the bathroom. Once there, I stripped and turned on the shower, stepping under the cascading water.
I felt really good and exhausted like I hadn't felt in a long time and I took my time in the shower, going real slow on everything.
Once I was finished, I dried off and walked into my room, plopping down completely naked onto my king sized bed. I was so big; I took up a lot of the space when I was spread eagle on it.
I quickly fell asleep, dreaming of the same thing I always did when I slept: fucking Seth.
"Mmm..." Seth groaned as I stood over him, his head tossed back as I ran the head of my cock along his valley, pausing for a moment at his hole and pushing at it slightly, causing Seth to moan with pleasure.
"Do you like that?" I asked him huskily, feeling myself get harder at the thought of what was coming.
"Yes," he gasped, his body covered in sweat as he panted beneath me, "mm, yes, Jake, I (shit) I love that."
I chuckled and proceeded to push my cock into him. Once the head was completely submerged in his hole, Seth's head suddenly snapped up.
"Jake," he said, a sudden passionate light in his gray eyes, "stop."
I looked at him, confused.
Instead of telling me what he was doing, Seth pulled me out of him, making me growl at the loss of his body against mine.
"Hold on, hold on," he snickered as he struggled to his feet, "be patient."
I scowled at him. "I don't want to be patient," I growled, clenching my fists to keep from grabbing him, "I want to fuck your brains out,"
He merely grinned at me. Then, more slowly than I would have liked, turned around and bent himself over the bed, his forearms crossed, creating a pillow for his head as he offered his ass to me.
I felt a grin cover my face as I saw him bent over double, silently asking me to take him. With a snap of my hips, I slammed into him up to the hilt.
He threw his head back and screamed: "Fuck that feels good!"
I groaned as I felt him tighten slightly around me before I chuckled darkly at him. "Oh, you just wait; I'll make you feel better than good."
I began to thrust, taking it slow, letting him adjust to me while letting myself enjoy being balls deep his tight heat.
"Aw shit," he moaned, his head tilting back slightly.
"So fucking tight," I hissed, my hands on his hips, tightening their grip as I began to slowly pick up speed.
Seth turned his head and looked back at me, his eyes dark and burning with lust. "Harder, Jake," he ordered in a growl through his teeth, "fuck me as hard as you can."
I smirked at him and, without a word, without warning, complied.
Slamming into him with all of my strength, I rammed his prostrate, making him howl with pleasure as I reached around his waist with my right hand and began to rub his cock slowly, one stroke for every three of my thrusts. I felt his pre-cum pour from his slit as I brushed it with my thumb, sending the slick juices cascading down my hand and onto his cock, making it slide more easily in my grip. I felt the results of my own hardness seeping out of my dick and into his hole, my arousal juices acting like lubricant that made me slid into him more easily. Taking advantage of Seth's pre-cum on his dick and my own in his hole, I began to stroke him faster as I pounded him until he screamed my name over and over, curse words like fuck and shit mixing in, making me ram into him even harder and faster.
I felt his hole tighten like a vise around my dick, making me feel every inch of his insides with the most amazing clarity as he came onto my hand. Staving off my own orgasm for a moment, I lifted my hand to my mouth and licked off his seed, relishing the taste.
I looked down and saw the Seth was watching me, an extremely turned on look on his face.
"Do you want me to come in you?" I cooed down at him, starting to thrust again, "And eat it right out of your tight hole?"
He smirked at me and began to move his hips to meet my thrusts, hitting his prostrate with enough force to flatten a tree.
"Yes, yes, like that, just like that," he panted, clamping his eyes shut and squeezing me tightly on purpose, driving me towards my release.
"Cum for me Jake," he gasped as he griped me tightly again, the ring of muscles around his hole contracting as he tensed himself, sending me over the edge, into bliss, in heaven, into-
I snapped up in bed, covered in sweat and panting. Looking down, I saw that my hand was around my dick, cum glistening against the red-brown skin of my abs.
I had been jerking off in my sleep.
Then, like a tidal wave, I felt alone. So terrifyingly alone. The longing for my mate and the desire for the dream to be real was yanking at my heart in the most painful way possible. The weight of my pack and the responsibility that came with it seemed like it had been turned into lead and dropped onto my shoulders. I felt insufficient for the duty I had to my home, to my people, to Seth. I felt despair and fear that I wouldn't be able to protect the ones I loved from the dangers of the world.
And, for the first time since my mom had died, I burst into tears, my head in my hands as I bawled like a three year old child when their favorite toy breaks or their pet dies. I just wanted Seth next to me, running his hands along my back soothing me. I had just left without even seeing him, without making sure he was absolutely okay, I had just told Sam to take him home instead of doing it myself like an imprinter should have.
I felt like such a failure as a mate. I was chasing my imprint away instead of showing him how much I loved him. I was a horrible person and I didn't deserve him, didn't deserve the joy of loving him, of seeing him round with my child.
I don't know how long I cried, how long I just sat there, wishing my dad could walk up the stairs and comfort me. He wasn't Seth, but at least he was someone.
My longing for Seth increased to the point where I could almost feel his hands on my neck, running along my shoulder blades in the most compassionate comfort I had ever felt.
Wait...was the back rubbing thing...real? I took stock of myself. Yes there was something rubbing my back. Probably one of the pack who stopped by to talk and heard me blubbing and came up here to 'sympathize' with me about my problems.
Well, I didn't want any pity. Pity wouldn't do me any good; it would just make me feel even worse about myself.
I started to tell whoever it was to go away when Seth's voice came out of the darkness like an angel of music. Corny, I know, but that's what I thought of when I heard him say: "I can't believe I'm doing this." He muttered the words, most likely to himself.
My head snapped up and to the side, hope racing through me.
Seth sat next to me on my bed, one hand still in the middle of my back. The little of what I could see of his face in the dim light was apprehensive, like he thought I was still angry at him.
"Um..." Seth said awkwardly, giving me a final pat on the back as I stared at him in disbelief. It was like I had died and gone to heaven; Seth had touched me willingly and it was to comfort me. I felt the tears rise in my eyes. I was so incredibly grateful to him; even the wolf wasn't urging me to rip his pants off.
I reached out, slowly, to touch his face. He pulled away, as if I might slap him. Normally I probably would have seen a brief flash of red and kissed him forcefully or something like that, but I was just so happy that he was here, just when I needed him the most, that anger sort of took a background.
I took my hand back and gave him a watery smile, silently thanking him. He crossed his arms across his chest, looking even more awkward than before.
"Er," he finally said, uncrossing his arms and holding out what looked like my cellphone to me. It was difficult to tell in the dark, plus my eyes were too interested in his face to really take any notice, "you left this and Sa- um- I thought that you might need it back."
I took the object; yes it definitely was my cellphone.
"Thank you," I whispered, trying to convey my gratitude for his letting down his defenses long enough to make me feel better...as well as for the phone.
He gave me a small smile and stood up.
"I should probably get going..." he said, his hands in his pockets. I couldn't let him go, not when I needed him to stay with me.
"Please," I whispered, taking a hold of the arm nearest to me, making sure I didn't squeeze it or anything, "will you sleep next to me?"
He yanked his arm away, causing a stab of pain and a measure of loneliness to go through me. I looked at him, feeling afraid of being alone again, terrified that the feeling of despair would return.
Seth was silent for a moment. I couldn't see his face, he was standing in shadow, but I could tell he was thinking.
"Can I borrow your phone?" he asked quietly, holding out his hand for it. I obliged, wondering what he was going to do.
He flipped my phone open, the light of the screen illuminating his scowling face as he pushed buttons on the keypad for a few minutes while I waited with baited breath. He paused for a few seconds before doing it again. After finishing, he shut the phone and handed it back to me.
"Thanks," he muttered, his hands going back to his pockets.
I didn't say anything, convinced that he was leaving me alone to deal with the dreams, with the loneliness.
Then, to my complete and utter joy and astonishment, he got into the bed and pulled the covers up over his bare feet and shorts until it came to rest in the middle of his gray t-shirt.
I felt like I was going to explode with joy and gratefulness. My mate wasn't leaving me, he was going to stay, he was going to comfort me. I felt another tear start to form in my eye but I quickly wiped it away, getting into the bed and climbing onto the other side.
We lay there for several moments in silence, the sounds of the house settling back into its foundation adding a little noise to the quiet.
But I still felt alone.
"Seth?" I called quietly, hoping against hope that he wasn't asleep.
There was only silence in reply and I was almost convinced that he had fallen asleep when he replied, "Hm?"
I took a deep breath and asked my question, praying that he wouldn't get mad and leave me.
"Will you let me hold you?" Silence. Again.
Then, Seth moved closer to me, giving me sign to wrap my arms around his waist and pull him up to me, his back to my chest. I held him in a loose grip instead of tightly like I usually did. I trusted him and I was showing it by not imprisoning him in my embrace.
I sighed and gently pressed my mouth to the back of his neck, inhaling his scent. I knew I wasn't going to let him off of his punishment tomorrow, but I knew for sure that whatever it was, it was going to be very minor compared what I had originally planned: tying and gagging him to my bed before giving him a homemade tattoo that said: "I Belong To Jacob Black."
"I love you Seth," I whispered as I drifted off into peaceful dreams of Seth, myself, and our children, finally at peace, however temporarily, with myself and the world.
Just before I drifted off, I could have sworn I heard him whisper in a sad voice: "I know, I just wish it was the same for me."
I didn't know what would happen tomorrow, but we both knew, without saying it, that things would go back to the way they were despite what was happening right now. I would continue to dominate him and he would keep on defying me. It probably wouldn't end until I finally claimed him as mine but until then I was content to just hold him, happy that my mate was hopefully starting to see that I was a human being who was capable of feeling an emotion other than lust underneath the possessive exterior of the werewolf who wanted nothing more than to get in his pants,
I was happy because, for once, Seth was letting me love him, no matter how conditionally.