Day 11
Title :: Chaotic Caroling
Rating :: G [kid!everyone + teen!other people]
Summary :: AU. Konoha Gakuen required its students to sing at the University Hospital every December. Western Christmas songs were always so troublesome. Set the year after Snow Days. (They're 9 and 10 years old. Older kids, about 18 and 19.)
Tsunade bit back a yawn and blinked sleepily as sullen looking children were herded into the visitor's area by harried looking adults, self-made paper antlers affixed to floppy red and white hats. She blinked as the more senior of the hospital population trickled in, trailed after by most of the Pediatrics Ward.
What on earth?
Eri and Nanori practically floated into the room, fairy light necklaces casting their faces in rainbows. The wings on their backs––Oh hell no. Tsunade was not getting tricked into participating in another dumb Christmas concert.
Tsunade sidled behind one of the fat Christmas trees in the corner and crouched down beside a large glass bulb, almost sitting on the lap of someone already hiding there and dozing away.
"Whu-" Jiraiya jumped sleepily as Tsunade clapped a hand over his mouth.
"Why didn't you warn me," she hissed, slapping his arm as hard as she could. He yelped.
"There wasn't time! I barely found out myself!" he hissed back, yanking her hand off his mouth.
She slapped him again.
"Argh! Crazy woman! How are we even related!" he whined.
"I hope you know I can hear you," Kakashi stated from around the tree. They froze, shaking in terror as a distorted shadow appeared in one of the tree bulbs, jumping when Iruka's head popped around the corner.
"How can you watch from over there," he asked, a big red nose on his face.
"It's called 'getting a unique perspective on life'," Jiraiya said, settling against the wall was a smarmy grin.
"I'll make sure to sing extra loud for you then," the boy promised.
"Oh goody," mumbled Tsunade, making a shooing motion. Iruka gave a little wave and disappeared.
"All right, now the hospital staff will start off with a song called Oh Christmas Tree," came a familiar thready voice that made the two hidden doctors cringe. Orochimaru rarely ventured from the Toxicology Lab and to hear him sing would be a torment, especially since he did it with such malicious gusto.
"Oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree," Orochimaru's voice shrilled raspily to a chorus of high-pitched giggling. "How do I love your prickly... Needles."
Tsunade groaned and buried her face in her hands. It was going to be one of those kinds of singing concerts. Jiraiya adjusted his ear plugs and smirked at her.
Ten minutes later and she was contemplating gouging out her eyes with pine needles to make the pain stop. The children were singing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer severely off-key and had taken to stomping.
Outside the cozy arborial cocoon, Kakashi was busy being the most solemn Santa the world had ever seen. His silvery-gray hair was stuffed under a fluffy white-fringed hat and a beard hung off his face, trailing down towards his waist. His arms were crossed and he was pointedly ignoring the prancing "reindeer" circling him like natives at a bonfire.
Gai, having decided that the standard reindeer names from the song were not fabulous enough for his effervescent self, wore a sign proudly proclaiming his new reindeer name: Flashy. To complete the look, he had flashing antlers and a flashing nose and was happily shaking a rattle of bells in Kakashi's face while he practically shouted the words to the song; never mind that he was outshining the actual Rudolph, Iruka.
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer," Ibiki mumbled, tugging on his antlers with a blush. "Reindeer!" Izumo and Kotetsu shouted, bumping into Kakashi.
Santa had never glared so hard before.
"Had a very shiny nose," Anko shouted, pointing at Gai by accident before correcting herself and pointing at a frowning Iruka.
"So shiny!" Izumo and Kotetsu shouted, grabbing Hayate's arms and raising them high in the air while he groaned.
"And if you ever saw it," Kurenai sang sweetly, jolted aside as Iruka and Gai started grappling over the flashing nose.
"You could say mine glows too," Gai ad-libbed, pointing as his.
"Mine's brighter!" Iruka shouted, crowding him out.
"Like a light bulb," Minato cut in, smoothly stepping between the boys, a fake smile plastered on his face as they tried to reach around him to grab each other's noses. The prancing reindeer took no notice of the little drama and kept singing and skipping in dizzying circles around their glum Santa.
Kakashi, tiring of the never ending song, broke through his line of reindeer dancers and grabbed Iruka's hand before raising it as if he was proclaiming the winner of a fight. He looked at the crowd and, over the overall singing of the song, flatly declared, "Spoiler alert: Santa likes this one the best."
Eri, filming the whole thing with her favorite camera, choked back a giggle and zoomed in on Iruka's stunned face. The boy visibly pouted before shaking off Kakashi's hand to jump in front and throw his arms wide open, pointing vigorously at himself when the other children reached the "Then all the reindeer loved him" part.
Kakashi looked severely annoyed.
Unfortunately for the wayward little Santa, he was stuck starring in Up on the Rooftop as the present-delivering St. Nick as well. He endured more reindeer prancing and and embarrassing impromptu goodie bag delivering session to the elderly until Ibiki sang, "and a whip that cracks" with abnormal glee. To which Kakashi immediately blurted out "KRAMPUS!" on reflex, freezing as all eyes turned to him and blushing furiously under his beard.
Thankfully, Santa retired to the sidelines for Konoha Gakuen's rendition of Frosty the Snowman, which was more of Flashy the Antlered Snowman as Gai decided he should also be that and had brought his rubber carrot nose just for the occasion. The song had serious liberties taken with its format and was amended-in-progress to include lasers and ninjas and samurai ice skaters.
Unfortunately, halfway through the song suddenly Santa became un-retired and was turned into a red-suited Flying Ninja Parson Brown (because his gray hair obviously made him the right person for the job) and married Samurai Warrior Snowman Gai to Princess Snow Woman Genma who looked very displeased with his sudden stardom. He had been home schooled until very recently and was not a fan of teamwork or embarrassing public displays of snowy cross-dressing. He should have been glad that a pink scarf and flowered hat were the extent of his current foray into an alternative lifestyle.
Kakashi felt a little better about being Parson Brown after that.
Halfway through Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree some of the kids toppled through the back of the trees holding up the wall in the corner and chased out a flustered Tsunade who was grudgingly turned into an impromptu tree as they wrapped her in tinsel. Jiraiya huddled under the tree and pretended he no longer existed until Gai somehow ended up behind the tree and found him, dragging him out to a host of catcalls from some of the more senior staff as he tried to shake off the tree-sharing event with Tsunade as an unhappy accident, pointing at his arm and complaining of her abuse.
The kids, of course, didn't pay any attention to his complaints and bundled him and Tsunade in the middle of their group for the final group sing-along of their hospital torture session––Christmas concert––linking hands for We Wish You a Merry Christmas and swaying back and forth with general bonhomie.
Kakashi, somewhere in the middle of the song, snuck a look at Iruka who was swinging their joined hands back and forth energetically and felt an odd tightening in his impersonal little heart. He squeezed his hand a little and shuffled with sudden awkwardness before looking away. Iruka didn't notice.
A hand came to rest on Kakashi's head and he looked up in surprise to meet bright blue eyes.
Minato smiled down at him and ruffled his hair, wrapping his arms around the two boys and squishing them together and singing a loud "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" as the rest of the children jumped up and threw tinsel and candy canes on the surprised crowd.