A/N- thank you for the reviews and follows :) This is not the end of these two however I have some personal things happening, and will therefore be taking a break from writing and other social media for a little bit. I don't know when I will post again, but I will try to make it worth the wait. Thank you for all the support
Caprican Christmas ch 11
A series of sneezes rocked the mountain of blankets atop the couch. "You're getting sick. Here drink this, it'll help."
A delicate hand peered through the cotton and goose down, followed closely by a mass of unruly red locks. Two watery emerald eyes blinked in rapid succession. "Thank you. And I'm not sick."
"I said 'getting sick' and you're welcome." A large mug was held out to her and she wrapped her cold fingers around it, allowing it to warm her.
Laura spit the liquid from her mouth, a burn more than the heat from tea stinging her throat. "What the frak is this?"
"Drink up," he tipped the mug and held it while she sipped. "It's whiskey. You'll be better in no time."
"More like drunk in no time," she grumbled quietly.
"Maybe, but it'll guarantee a good night's sleep in any case. Now budge up, we never finished 'Dark Day'. Unless you object."
She felt good with her legs stretched out, but hearing Bill read to her felt much better. She tucked herself into a ball and breathed the scent of her tea. Its warm steam tickled her nose and caused another round of sneezes. A large hand holding a tissue blotted her nose and left a fresh tissue behind. She drank another gulp and relinquished the mug to the waiting hand. Her eyes drooped closed as the first deep notes in that intoxicating timbre were spoken.
####
The lamps had been extinguished and the fire's embers flickered in a withering fashion. Laura's eyes felt heavy as she stretched her arms over her head and kicked her feet to wake her legs. A sheen of perspiration covered her body, still wrapped like a hibernating animal. The goose down had been warmer than she had anticipated, and now she was in dire need of shedding her proverbial winter coat. The heavy covering fell to the ground as it had been hit with a heavy kick. She breathed a sigh of relief, cracking her eyes open to investigate the offensive blinking light causing her head to throb in time.
"You didn't," she laughed. Bill was standing near the stairs wrapping the last of a set of twinkling lights along the banister. "The holiday is over, remember?"
"You can never have too many decorations. I would have done it sooner, but with no electricity it didn't make much sense. You have something against my decorating skills?"
"No, it's just, maybe they don't have to blink. I'm having flashbacks to my college days."
Bill laughed, his mouth wide open. "That's more than likely the whiskey, but I'll change it. I'm just trying to find the little bugger that makes it stop." He grinned and ran his hand up and down the length of the light string until he located it. "Aha! See, that's better, isn't it?" He stood back and meandered to the couch. Leaning against its back, he smiled at his handiwork. "I'm not bad for an Old Man." He winked and rubbed her shoulder. "Hey, how about some breakfast? You slept through the night, and I'm hungry."
"You let me sleep all night long!?" She sat up and huffed at him.
"Yes ma'am, I did. I slept in my bed and spread out across the whole thing." His eyes crinkled in mischief. Secretly he'd wished she'd been by his side, but the fact that her smell had been on every inch of it had given him cause to suffer in peace. "Besides, you are sounding much better this morning. I don't think you'll get any sicker than you were last night. My nursing capabilities paid off. Aren't you glad? Now, I plan to eat cookies for breakfast because I was a gentleman and waited for you to return to the land of the living before eating any. You were knocked out and good."
"Cookies? For breakfast? Do you have any whipped cream?" A light went off behind her eyes as she stood from the couch.
"I don't know about whipped cream, but I'm pretty sure I saw some ice cream in there. I could make some ice cream sandwiches. Sandwiches are healthy after all." He rubbed her chin and eyed her closely before heading in to prepare breakfast. "I'll meet you in there. Take your time."
Laura looked around her in wonder. The tree was twinkling, the ornaments reflecting the lights all around them. Soft, jazzy tunes filled the empty spaces around her as she ran her fingers over the banister marveling once again how it felt as though she'd stepped into a fairytale. She stood in front of the fire allowing her toes to thaw, the one part that hadn't made their way into her sweat box of goose feathers. She spun, taking in the sights and sounds again before closing the bathroom door behind her. The melody of her hums keeping time with the music Bill had chosen to serenade her with.
####
"That's a lot of cookies, and they are overflowing with ice cream. I thought you were joking when you suggested it. I mean, I was only teasing after all."
"I never joke about cookies or ice cream. Besides, a little indulgence never hurt anyone." He bit into his sandwich and ice cream squeezed out, along with the sprinkles he'd rolled along the sides. Without thought, Laura dipped her finger into it, scooping it up in one swoop and brought it to his mouth. He wrapped his lips around it and licked the treat off, his eyes never leaving hers as the air vibrated around them with static. She retracted her finger and held his gaze for a moment longer before taking a bite of her own. They both watched in silence as they ate, eyes holding the other's attention. When all the cookies were gone, they both rose to take the dishes to the sink.
They stood side by side cleaning the plates, Laura's breath became more audible as Bill's face neared hers. His mouth loomed closer and she froze when his tongue licked the corner of her lips. Turning into something more, the dishes lay forgotten as Bill's hand caressed her jaw and made its way into her hair. He pulled softly encouraging her to deepen the kiss, as well as moving to bring her nearer to stand between his legs. Her arms snaked around his back where her hands began gripping his muscles, feeling their tautness under his shirts. He kissed her until she was breathless and dazed. He untangled them and picked up the discarded cloth, drying the plate before placing it in the cabinet.
"You missed a spot," Bill whispered matter-of-factly. Laura stood motionless, words failing her. He finished the dishes and smiled at her as he turned to walk away. He squeezed her wrist and ran the backs of his fingers up her arm, leaving goosebumps along the tiny hairs in its wake. Laura stood with a goofy look on her face, oblivious to the noises being made in the living room.
####
Bill was sitting near the Christmas tree holding a small package in his hands. There was a bright red bow tied neatly around it with a tag hanging from one of its ribbons. He stood when Laura entered the room. She'd been in the kitchen alone for quite some time, and had it not been for her whispering rather loudly to herself he might have been worried. As it was, he had made out the gist of her conversation and had smiled confidently at himself. He knew his advancement had been confusing for her, but he'd come to the conclusion the night before that he would take every opportunity he could to show her his feelings were real. He may have had doubts, some lust, and some fantasies, but the dreams were becoming more vivid and with each one he knew she was the one he was meant to be with. Not only that, but she was the one he wanted to be with. He took her hand and guided her to the cozy seating area he'd set up mimicking their time together when they'd laid around and read all day.
"What's all this?" She felt shy but she wasn't about to let him know that. Laura looked from the package in his eyes toward his eyes and back, and raised her brows in question. "What is it Bill?"
"I told you I had a Christmas gift for you. Don't be nervous. Please sit with me." She inwardly rolled her eyes, cursing the fact that he could already read her after knowing her for such a short time.
"I thought maybe you were just saying that to try to get me to stay in the cabin another week with you Bill."
"Nope, got it right here. Is that what you were doing with me? Did you just say you had a gift for me because I said the same?"
"No, I've got one for you. It isn't wrapped, and to be quite honest I don't know that you'll like it."
"I'm sure I'll love it. I won't lie to you. How about this, if it's just absolutely terrible, I'll make a big fuss and throw things. I've even got a model ship over there that I'll throw across the room in solidarity if it's that bad. Deal?"
She giggled a few times, then bent forward as a wave of something more threatened to burst forth. Bill held his distance knowing what was sure to come next. He'd already witnessed one of her laughing fits and learned quickly to just let them happen. Her snorts and cackles could be heard outside, he was sure of it, but he didn't want it any other way. Her laughter was contagious and he soon found himself joining in. They began rolling on the floor, each clutching at their sides. Laura's arm was laced through Bill's as she tried to steady herself. He kept telling her to take deep breaths in hopes that would quell the absurdity of it all. It did nothing of the sorts, and instead found them laughing even harder.
"You're a bad influence Roslin," Bill said when his breathing had even out. She clutched her sides, feeling them ache from all the use they'd just had.
"Some might say that about you, Bill Adama." She leaned in and brushed her lips across his ear lobe. "Now what about my gift, sir?"
####
Laura rolled the book back and forth between her hands. She'd unwrapped it achingly slowly, intending to save the wrapping paper for later so she could turn it into a bookmark. Her mind cooed as the soft leather slid over her fingers, and it digested what the gift meant.
"Bill, it's a lovely gift. But, I can't take one of your books." She shook it, holding it out to him, trying to encourage him to take it back.
"Never lend books, Laura. It's a gift, and I'm not taking it back." The book was retracted and laid beside her on the couch, her fingers not leaving it but instead stroking its spine. "Now, if I remember correctly, there was a gift for me." His eyes perked up as a bashful smiled played along her lips.
"Well, yes, but... It's not very good, and I'm nervous that it may be too much."
"No takebacks, Roslin. I've been waiting patiently like a good soldier. Where is it?" He looked around in a grand gesture, feigning innocence yet knowing full well where it was located.
She scooted to the edge of the couch and placed her hands on her lap before looking his way. "You have to promise not to laugh if you don't like it."
"Scout's honor," he held up two fingers in salute. "Besides, I told you that ship over there will go flying across the room in a fit of rage if it's as terrible as you say." His eyes danced with laughter as she practically ran up the stairs. His ears perked when she returned with a large object wrapped in a bed linen. His heart skipped a merry beat, hoping it was in fact what he'd already surmised.
The sheet fell to the floor, and she clutched it tighter before turning it around to face him. Bill sat in silence as he stared at the gift before him. Laura didn't know how to gauge his reaction, when a single tear welled up in the corner of his eye and slid down his cheek. He stood from his place on the floor, dusting imaginary particles off his pants before advancing toward his gift. She gulped and planted her feet deep into the carpet. Her breathing had sped up- he seemed to do that to her more in the last few days- as his fingers entwined with hers. The edges of the painting beneath them, pulses raising, as he took in the sights before him.
His two women. One a fair-skinned, flaming-locked beauty, the other a bucket of steel and metals he couldn't name at the moment. "How did you know?" his voice, laced with emotion, barely audible.
"How did I know what?"
"You captured her perfectly, down to the minute details. How did you know what she looked like in combat?"
Laura left the painting in his hands and sat firmly on the couch searching for the words to explain. She felt the couch sag beside her and craned her neck toward him. Her eyes were glassy reflecting the pools of blue studying her.
"I've dreamed about Galactica and life on-board her so much this past week that I feel my life there is real. I've looked out the window of another ship and seen her in the distance, hanging in the sky like a giant beacon of hope. There have been times that the combat has seemed to last for hours. It's always the same thing, the vipers fly ahead and then the canons appear before the ship I'm on jumps away, leaving her alone to protect us all. There always seems to be a fleet of civilian ships hovering around Galactica, like she's their defender. A safe haven in the darkness from the enemy we can't escape. Always in pursuit, always running, and she's always defending. I thought I would try to capture the likeness while it was so fresh in my mind. I'm sorry if I've offended you, Bill." Laura wiped her cheek, catching a few runaway tears before placing her hand on top of his, her thumb rubbing it to soothe them both.
"Offended? No, Laura, this is not offensive. This is impressive, it's endearing, and I don't know how to thank you. I thought I would never see her again in all her glory." He propped the painting against the base of the couch and swung his legs to the side, their knees touching, he held her hand. "I've seen those dreams too. Every time the fleet jumped away, my heart stopped. I could feel it in my sleep. A voice of guilt sounding in my mind; I can hear it, and it overwhelms me. I never know if in the next scene I'll see those ships again- if I'll see you again, Laura, it's always you I'm looking for. I hate those dreams, I feel hopeless. I am not a hopeless man, but in those nightmares I am scared and you are the only thing that keeps me grounded."
She began to shake as the thoughts and images began to flood her mind. His arms hugged her to him and she breathed in his familiar scent while allowing the mighty Zeus to comfort her. "I'm sorry. Thank you for the gift. You have hidden talents."
"Wouldn't you like to know," she said before realizing what it sounded like.
"Yes, but I'll wait." He sniffed her hair, the summer sun more evident than it had been before. "What do you think of the book? It seemed like something you would like."
She sighed, bringing her legs up to their favorite place, and tucked them tightly beneath her. "It's perfect. Nothing I love more than a good mystery."
####
"I told you I would make dinner again. I really don't mind," he shouted toward the kitchen.
"It's okay, Bill. I just made sandwiches, and so far I've never messed those up. Besides, I'm not all that hungry tonight. I think all those cookies we ate today made me a little sick. I hope you don't mind eating light." She placed the plates on the small coffee table and sat crossed legged across from him.
"Looks good to me," he said, picking up a slice of apple and popping it into his mouth. "It doesn't always have to be a 3 course or gourmet meal, right?"
She nodded before tucking in. They sat in silence, the only sounds from the constant holiday music and smacking of lips.
"Are you married, Laura?" Bill dropped his napkin on the empty plate and fixed her with a determined stare.
"Excuse me," she nearly choked on her last bite of sandwich. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" Laura nodded her head and looked toward the gold band on his finger.
He gave a nervous chuckle. "This," he held up his left hand. "This is not what it looks like. I am not married, nor have I been for many, many years. Honestly, I forget frequently that it's still there."
"Why do you wear it then if it has no meaning?"
"It has meaning, I suppose. Just because I forget sometimes doesn't mean I'm not reminded when I see it. It holds no sentimental value towards my ex-wife, if that's what you're implying." He rose from the ground, his knees cracking and screeching in complaint. He took their dishes toward the sink to gather his response; he'd not anticipated her retaliation in interrogating him.
"Then what does it mean, Bill? You can't expect to say that, walk away, and pretend you didn't drop a partial truth bomb." Her voice grew louder as she inched up behind him.
He left the dishes and walked away to stoke the fire. "I didn't drop a bomb. It's just, no one's ever questioned the ring before. How am I supposed to answer you?"
"Truthfully. Just tell me what it means to you. I'm most sure I'll be able to keep up." She sat on the couch with her arms folded across her chest, a look of contrived indignation staring him full in the face.
He rolled his eyes, shook his head, and sat on the opposite end of the couch. Out of character, Bill looked away from her and toward the tree. His eye caught and focused on a light flickering, trying desperately to cling to life. "CarolAnne and I had a heated but short romance. It was mostly carnal in nature, but when she became pregnant rather quickly, I convinced myself it was the honorable thing to do because we loved each other. Or at least that's what we thought. We married before her pregnancy with Lee became obvious. We never told anyone that she was pregnant, although it wasn't difficult to figure out. With the whirlwind romance and a child less than 6 months after marrying, it was rather obvious. We fought constantly after he was born. She detested my service to the military and wanted me to stay home all the time. Military life was in my blood, and I wasn't about to give it up. We tried our best, but by the time Zak was born two years later things were so strained, we both looked forward to my time away. I used her father's connections and was able to get back into active duty instead of working freighters all the time. She didn't seem to care as much by that point. Although, she constantly reminded me of what life was like for the boys having an absent father all the time. I wasn't about to give in, I'd taken an oath and meant every word of it. When I had shore leave, we'd spend time doing things as a family, trying our damnedest to appear as a united couple in front of the boys. We'd fight almost nonstop behind closed doors, and forget intimacy. She used that part of our relationship as bait dangled over me, only giving me small nibbles. I was frustrated and spent. We grew more distant as the years past, and by the time Lee went off to the academy the marriage had been over for years. She served me with divorce papers at Zak's graduation and neither of us ever looked back. Sure, there were some good times mixed in, but when I close my eyes all I can see is a hazy grey cloud of anger. I don't feel it anymore, but all the memories are eclipsed in it. I wear this ring to remind me of those times and that I need to do better. I didn't take it as seriously as I should have, and this gold band is glaringly obvious, at least to me, that commitments aren't to be taken lightly. Saul's tried to set me up for years with women. Most of them hold no interest for me, they're too like his wife. Not to be rude or against my best friend, but that woman or anyone like her is not who I need beside me in bed every night or for the rest of my life. I need someone that takes my breath away, that makes me a better man, that will argue with me then fall into bed with me. I need a woman that when I look into her eyes, I can see my past, my present, and my future. She's my everything, not just a dream but a reality."
His head swiveled slowly and his deep blue eyes sought out hers. They searched the depths of her green eyes, shining with questions of their own, but glittering in the background was an answer he'd known she held. His fingers reached out for her hand. Just before he felt the softness of her skin, she pulled away.
Sitting up straight, Laura cleared her throat and averted her eyes toward the fireplace. "Goodness, who knew a tiny piece of gold could hold so much meaning. You have a poetic way about you, Bill. You aren't really over her are you? I can hear a hint of hurt on the edges of your words." Her hair flew like waves behind her as she arched a brow his way. Her eyes not meeting his, instead landing on a place lower, his lips holding appeal for her now.
"No, I'm over her. I hurt when I think about the boys. I wonder sometimes if I should have done things differently for them, would Zak still be here and that kind of stuff. I've been over her for a long time now. How about you, you never answered my question. Are you married?"
"No, I'm not married. I've never married." She looked wistfully toward the fire once more, willing her breathing to even out. Her mind was racing, knowing full well what he'd ask next, and she didn't know that she was ready to share with him that side of her yet.
"Why not? If it's too personal, I'll understand. I just thought since we were having a therapy session, you might want to share." A quiet laughter ran through him at his personal joke. He tickled her fingers trying to get her to respond. He could see her chest heaving, while she desperately tried to control herself. He became concerned when she didn't give a response of any kind. "Laura, what is it? You can talk to me, I promise I won't bite." He scooted closer and took her hands in his, which he then placed on her lap.
"I don't know why I'm being so silly. It's not as though I'm embarrassed by it, it's just I've not talked about it before. It's not something I do, I like to keep my personal life private. You know what I mean?" Bill didn't speak, but merely nodded in response. Laura took a deep breath and laced her fingers through his.
"I've never worried what people think of me, but I seem to be having anxiety when it comes to you." She hummed and continued. "I was never very confident dating when I was younger. I left that to my sisters, I was more interested in reading and putting that knowledge to good use. When I was a teacher, there was a very nice man that was a fellow staffer. He would ask me out a lot and I always turned him down. I was young still, only a newly graduated teacher. I finally got tired of saying no and seeing the disappointment on his face, so I agreed to a theater date. I didn't feel anything for him more than friendship, but apparently he felt we were headed to a more serious commitment. One day during the summer between my second and third year teaching, he took me on a balloon ride over the country just outside the city. While we were high above the tree line, he got down on one knee and proposed. I had already been trying to think of a way to spend less time with him, so the proposal came as a shock. As you can imagine the rest of the ride was tense and the ride back to the city was icy at best. He didn't take kindly to being turned down, and instead of just being the friends we'd always been he turned into a bitter rival. Eventually, he transferred off-world and joined the school system on Geminon. I never seriously dated after that, only going on dates occasionally when one of my sisters needed a double for some function or other." She stopped and looked toward Bill, shrugging a shoulder and making an innocent face.
"What about when you were older? Did you never date the entire time you were in the political arena? I have a difficult time picturing you sitting home alone and not out with men every weekend, Laura."
"I'm not easy, Bill. I had the occasional date, yes, but mostly I kept my nose to the grind. I was very busy with my position in the government and it demanded a lot of my time. Before I joined Adar's regime, it had been much the same. My friend Marci set me up on the occasional blind date, but they didn't turn out quite as planned." She paused and reached for her drink, taking a big gulp when she noticed Bill eyeing her through squinted eyes. "What?"
"Nothing, it's just you had an odd look on your face when you were talking about Marci. There's something you didn't say just then. Your book's getting easier to read, Laura."
She walked across the floor pacing in front of the fireplace, her hands waving as she spoke. Her voice rose and fell in tight gripping spasms. "What do want me to say, Bill? That the last person she set me up with had been a former student? That instead of telling him to leave once I realized who he was, I enjoyed his company and body completely before sending him packing? Do you want me to admit that I probably made a bad call sleeping with not only a younger man, but one that was a student! It may have been a fun night, but it sent me down a path I sometimes wish I'd never traveled." She stopped pacing to look at his face. She'd meant to shock him, but instead he sat still with a neutral look, waiting for her to continue. She made a split decision, and dove head first into parts unknown. He wanted to be shocked, then she'd give him one.
"I only went on dates when I wanted something out of it. Mostly that something was just a cover-up for the affair I was having. I preferred to spend my nights alone, curled on the sofa with a good book and a glass of wine. President Adar was a difficult man, and he wanted what he wanted, when he wanted it. I found it very difficult to say no to him. It was easier to comply with his desires; he got what he wanted and I left with my basic needs met. Those dates were excuses, he paid them and they escorted me, then we would disappear together. Neither his name nor mine was sullied, and his wife was none the wiser. I'd grown weary of his advances when he encouraged the teachers strike. He'd grown greedy and hungry for more power, and I couldn't abide by his willingness to hurt innocent people. He wanted to come out looking like the victor. It was detestable, so when I returned from Galactica, I broke it off and walked away."
"You were lonely, and he hurt you."
"What? How do you know that?"
"I know you, Laura. Possibly more than either of us realizes, and I can hear it in your voice. Most importantly, I can see it in your eyes."
She harrumphed and flopped onto the couch beside him. "I didn't tell you so you'd pass judgement on me."
"No, you did it out of spite. You used it for shock value, but your plan didn't work, Ms. Roslin. And I am most definitely not passing judgement, I am trying to understand. I'm trying to get you to admit what you so desperately need to, going by the look in your eyes right now. Trust me." He pulled her into a tight embrace before settling into a lounging position with her on top. "Tell me. Please."
She sighed heavily, and leaned into him a little harder before continuing. "I was nothing more than a disposable toy. I was delusional thinking I meant more to him, but I realized too I didn't want anything more. When I closed my eyes at night, he wasn't who I pictured spending my life with. He barely knew me as a person, I was nothing more than a quick frak to him. If I'm completely honest with myself, it wasn't that good. I mean it got the job done, but most times I walked away feeling cheap. He would occasionally pretend to be a better man, someone that could love me or that I could love but it never lasted. What was worse, is that I was really good friends with his wife and I felt guilty when I'd see her. She was friendly and supportive, that wasn't the norm around the office so it was a welcome diversion. On the rare occasions I would get weak, I would slip and start dreaming of a future with him that's when I knew it was getting too deep, so I would frak the men he'd hired as escorts. It was never fulfilling, I don't know that I've ever experienced that. I know I've never been head over heels in love with anyone. I don't know if I've ever experienced more than lust. Besides, you don't need to be in love to frak."
"No, but it helps," he whispered into her hair, placing a kiss on top of her head.
"Thank you," she nuzzled into his side.
"For what?"
"Not making me feel guilty. Or judging me for an affair with a married man."
"He's your past, right?"
"Completely."
"Then it has nothing to do with what we have here. I'm positive if he was still around though, I could change your mind."
"You're awfully confident, Commander."
"Yes, Ms. Roslin, I am."
"Bill?"
"Yes?" His hands running through her hair, causing her eyes to droop. Her voice was becoming more distant as the seconds passed.
"What do we have here, hmm?"