Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of its original characters.

So……people liked the last chapter. Im glad. So here is chapter 11. Obviously because its after chapter 10. I really hope you like it. It has some more back story. Maybe give you a little more insight into what happened on Atlantis. Soon the story will come out…not sure when though. Also, there will be a little bit of Sheyla…some moments between the two that I hope will turn out the way I plan….I guess its all how the reader interprets it so tell me what you think. Please read and review…id really appreciate it.

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All was quiet the in the camp the next morning when Teyla woke up. She couldn't help but think of how tired John must have been. She had a feeling that he was awake for yet another night having haunting thoughts run through his head making him feel guilty about something that was completely out of his control. She tried not to let her thoughts and concerns about John get her too upset as she unzipped her tent and slowly stepped out into the fresh morning air.

She looked around and realized that she was the first person to wake up. That wasn't right. Where was John? She highly doubted that he was actually asleep. He usually fought the idea of sleep. He must be off somewhere thinking. Lately he has not been sleeping so I do not think that I would find him in his tent.

Teyla was about to walk off in the direction that John usually went when he got upset when she heard her name. "Teyla…..what are you doing up so early?" It was Elizabeth.

"I could not sleep any longer." Teyla said as she turned and walked back to the table that they normally ate their meals on. Elizabeth sat down and let out a big yawn. Clearly she could not sleep any longer either.

"So…..I finally spoke with John last night before I went to bed." Elizabeth said with a small smile on her face.

"Did he tell you anything?" Teyla asked sounding quite nosey even though it was not her intentions.

"He actually told me quite a bit." Elizabeth said. "I still don't seem to understand why he still insists on blaming himself for the deaths of all those people. It was completely out of his control."

"I have told him that many times but I am unable to sway his opinion on it." Teyla said. She truly did try repeatedly to convince him of his innocence in the attack on Atlantis that left most of the crew and military presence there dead.

"I'm starting to get really concerned with him." Elizabeth said with a truly concerned look on her face. "He hasn't been sleeping well, he doesn't have regular check ups with Carson, and he refuses to talk with Kate Heightmeyer."

"Tell me about it." A voice from a nearby tent jumped both Elizabeth and Teyla, making them turn in the direction of the tent. "The man is too stubborn for his own good."

"Carson." Elizabeth said. "Didn't expect to see you up so early." Carson took a deep breath and sat down beside Teyla.

"Speaking of John…..where is he now?" Carson asked looking from Elizabeth to Teyla and back to Elizabeth.

"He's sleeping." Teyla said.

"Sleeping…….are you serious?" He asked with a look of pure shock on his face. For days they have tried and tried and tried to get him to go to sleep. They even tried drugging him to sleep but nothing worked. And now he was sleeping on his own.

"Yeah…..had a little talk with him last night before I went to bed and I'm hoping that maybe it helped out." Elizabeth said.

"It couldn't hurt any." Beckett said. "But just to be safe, maybe one of us should go and check on him." Teyla nodded and stood up. She was the only one that he openly talked to all the time when something was bothering him. If there was something wrong that he needed to talk to someone about, she would be the one that he would go to. She gave everyone a tired smile and walked away from the table.

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The pain was terrible when Teyla and Rodney got him off the floor. They couldn't carry him so they had to get him walking and the pain that he was feeling was making things quite difficult.

"Ah." John said in a faint voice as Teyla and a very reluctant Rodney straitened him out so they could begin walking.

"I know this hurts John but we must get to a jumper before its too late." Teyla said in a calm voice. Well, it was as calm as she could manage given the circumstances. John was her closest friend on Atlantis and to see anything happen to him upset her. When they first met, he was with a group of men who didn't share his friendliness towards her people. John was accepting and helped her people even when they had done nothing for him. He was loyal and compassionate which wasn't common among his fellow soldiers.

"Cant we just give him something for the pain?" Rodney said as he stopped walking which in turn stopped them all.

"Rodney….we do not have anything." Teyla said pointing out the obviousness. Neither of them were a doctor and they were nowhere near the infirmary to get anything. They needed to get to a jumper and quick. "We need to keep moving."

John could feel his legs start to give way. "Come on John……it is not that much further." Teyla said as she struggled to keep her hold on John. She knew that he was in pain but they had to get out of there before all the jumpers were gone. Then they could get him to Carson and everything would be fine.

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John awoke quickly. Why was he still dreaming about it. He thought that the positive thoughts that Elizabeth suggested would change things. Evidently he was wrong abut it and so was she. It didn't change anything at all. He still felt bad about what had happened and he still felt guilty about it.

He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his already messed up hair. There really wasn't anything he could do at the moment so he might as well relax and wait until things returned back to normal….or at least somewhat normal. He let his mind run wild with everything that had happened since Atlantis was taken over as he slowly unzipped his tent. He needed some fresh air. He needed to get away. He knew that everyone in the camp wouldn't agree with him running off again because of the way he felt about things but he didn't really care about what they thought. He needed time to be alone and if they didn't like it, it was just too bad.

Teyla was the only one that knew where he went when he took off but it didn't bother him. A small smirk appeared on John's face as he stepped out of his tent into the cool morning air. Teyla was the one person he could always count on. Not that he didn't count on everyone else and trust them but everyone else kept pushing him. They pushed him more then Teyla and Carson did and it irritated him. When he wanted space, he wanted space and Teyla was the only one who seemed to understand where his boundaries were. She was always understanding and put things into perspective for him.

Who knows….maybe she would find her way to him again. John thought as he walked through the thick undergrowth. He actually enjoyed talking to her. When he talked to her, it was refreshing. Someone who understood loss like no one else at the camp. Yeah, others at the camp had lost people but it was nothing to what had happened to the people on Atlantis. And others were probably grieving for them but John was responsible for all of them. All of the military personnel were under his command and they were his responsibility. He wasn't there when the really needed him. He was unconscious with a knife sticking out of his gut. God…what an embarrassing thought…how helpless he was because of such a small wound.

John shook the thought away as he found his usual perch under the same tree that he had sat under the past couple of days when he needed time alone.

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"John." Teyla said as she walked up to his tent. "Are you awake John?" She asked and opened the flap of the tent. There was nobody in the tent. Where could he have gone? She and everyone else thought that he was sleeping. Evidently Elizabeth's little talk that she had with him the night before didn't really help as much as she thought it did. He did get a little sleep but not as much as he should have gotten.

Then it hit her. Where did he always go when he needed time alone? Where did he go when he was upset and didn't want to talk to anyone? She knew exactly where he was. He was in the same place that he always went when he needed time alone.

She was hoping that he didn't have another bad dream like he had had almost every night since they were kicked out of Atlantis. Odds are, that's exactly what happened. He was always having nightmares about what happened and it didn't matter how many times people told him that it wasn't his fault, he was convinced that it was.

She continued to walk until she saw a familiar figure. It was John and as usual, he was sitting under the same tree that she always found him sitting under. "John." Teyla called out in a soft voice trying not to startle him.

John slowly turned his head. It was Teyla. It was always Teyla. "Oh, morning Teyla." John said in a calm voice. Well….at least he wasn't startled. He actually seemed to be in a pretty good mood. Teyla continued walking towards him until she was in front of him. She knew that he wouldn't mind her joining him so she sat down.

"Did you sleep last night?" Teyla asked getting right to the point. She didn't want to seem like she was prying but she wanted to know. He had had so much trouble sleeping since the were kicked out of Atlantis and she was concerned about him.

"A little." John said with a depressed look on his face.

"You had bad dreams again." Teyla said in a knowing voice. She knew she was right but wanted to hear it from him.

He looked at her and his expression told her that she was dead on. He didn't say anything. He just nodded. She wanted to ask him all kinds of questions about what he dreamed about but knew that it would make things worse.

"Do you wish to be alone right now?" Teyla asked with a worried look on her face. She wanted to stay and for them to talk but if she pushed him too far he would get angry. John didn't say anything at first which made Teyla think that she should go. She started to get up when she felt his hand on her arm.

"Don't go." John said. The vulnerability in his voice shocked Teyla. She wasn't used to hearing him like this. It took her a while to process what he said. He actually wanted her to stay.

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There you go. That's chapter 11. I hope you like it. Please read and review. Im really looking forward to hearing what you think.