The next morning, Dean woke up to Sam packing a bag. Jennifer was still asleep. Sleepily, Dean asked, "Whatcha doin Sam?"
"I'm packing our bags,"
"Where are we going?"
"You and I are going to finish the job that we started," Sam stated.
"The hell we are. We can't leave Jennifer alone like this," Dean retorted
"Dean she'll be fine. Cas healed her and he said the effects only last for a few hours," Sam reasoned.
"Sam she couldn't even walk last night. We can't leave her alone,"
"Ok then I'll go alone," Sam challenged.
"That's not going to happen," Dean responded
"Well I'm not letting you go alone either so come with me," Sam said.
"But Jen-" Dean opposed.
"Look Dean I know you want to wait until she gets better. Believe me I do too. But that could be days Dean. The people in this town don't have that long. This son of a bitch is going to kill everyone and everything unless we stop it. We have to go," Sam explained.
Dean sighed. He hated it when Sam was logical. "Yeah you're right."
As the boys finished up packing, Jennifer began to stir. When she finally awoke, the only thing she heard was,
"Ready Dean?"
"Yeah let's go."
She listened as the door slammed shut and her brothers left her all alone. Jennifer jumped out of the bed and watched the two drive away. How could they leave her? Vincent's words echoed in her mind. "Worthless…whore…bitch" Jennifer shook her head. She needed to forget, and she knew exactly how to. Jennifer found Dean's duffel bag and dumped its contents out onto the bed. His flask fell out with a clunk. She shook the bottle and heard the liquid sloshing around inside. Jennifer opened the cap and was taken aback by the odor. It was making her eyes burn. Jennifer knew exactly what it was. It was Dean's "special cocktail": Rum, whisky, tequila, and some pure alcohol all mixed together. It was what he used to get drunk since beer didn't cut it anymore. Jennifer tipped her head back and took a swig. She had severely underestimated its power. Her eyes swelled with tears as her the firewater pooled in her stomach. Her head was already beginning to swim. Jennifer caught her gaze in a mirror and remembered the bruises and cuts Vincent had given her.
"Worthless whore…you can kiss your brothers goodbye…"
Images of Sam's bloody shoulder and Deans pained expression popped up in her head.
"Unless you want your brothers dead you'll do as I say.."
It was her fault. She had done this. Jennifer took another gulp.
"No, it's not my fault." Jennifer thought. Sam, Dean, they love me" "
"LIAR" Vincent's voice screamed in her head.
Jennifer considered it. If they loved her why would they abandon her? Why would they leave her alone?
"You're nothing more than a disgusting piece of filth.." her abusive father's voice rung in her head.
Did Dean think that? Did Sam? Another gulp.
Jennifer was thrown back into her memory, reliving every episode she'd had with their Dad.
"Useless..."
"Just dragging us down…"
"...nothing more than another mouth to feed"
By this point the world was spinning and her vision was completely blurry. Jennifer stood there mulling over her thoughts, feeling the pressure build up inside of her to an incredible amount. Memories flashed in front of her eyes. The pain, the broken bones, the punches, the bruises, the cuts…the cuts. Drunkenly, Jennifer stumbled to the bathroom. She kicked the door open and after knocking everything over found her razor.
"Just one…it can't hurt" Jennifer thought. She pressed the blade down into her soft skin and sloppily made a series of lines. Bright red blood spilled out instantly. The pain cleared her vision and her mind for a split second. She reveled in the peace for that short moment, but as she adjusted to the sting, the blurred vision returned and so did the horrors of her mind. She had risked the life of her little brother and crushed her older brother's heart. Of course they would leave her behind. What was she other than an obligation?
Another gulp. Another slash.
They hated her. Sip. Slash.
They wanted nothing to do with her. They had given up. They were done.
Before she knew it, the flask was empty, she was drop dead drunk, and was sitting in a puddle of her own blood.
Sam and Dean were driving in the Impala. The sky was clear, the road was open, and their favorite hits were playing on the radio, but the two sat in an uneasy silence. Something didn't feel right to either one of them. At first, Sam had dismissed the feeling, but now it was driving him crazy. He cleared his throat and said, "Dean, how you feeling?"
"I'm friggin fantastic Sam. My sister is in a motel all alone recovering from near death, my brother got shot yesterday, and now I'm hunting again like nothing's wrong," Dean said sarcastically. "Why what's up with you?"
"I don't know. I just…something feels wrong. Don't you feel it?"
Dean sighed and said, "Yeah I feel it too." He pulled his phone out and speed dialed Cas.
"Hello Dean," said Cas on the other end of the line. "How's Jennifer?"
"That's the thing Cas. We thought she was doing ok, but Sam and I are starting to feel differently. We're out on a job right now, can you stop by and make sure everything's ok?"
"Certainly Dean,"
"Thanks Cas. I'll text you the address." Dean ended the call and continued driving, without saying another word. The words weren't necessary; Sam knew exactly what Dean was thinking: We shouldn't have left Jennifer.
Cas arrived in the motel room to find Jennifer sitting on the bathroom floor, covered in blood, and with empty bottles surrounding her. Dean's flask sat discarded in a corner. Cas took a step towards her and Jennifer shot up. She threw a bottle in Cas's direction. Cas dived to the left as the bottle whizzed by his ear and smashed against the wall, exactly where his head had been a second ago. He let out a small wisp of air. Even in a drunken stupor, her aim was still shockingly precise. Jennifer already had the next bottle in her hand when Cas said "Jennifer wait."
His voice rang out clear as a bell and wove its way inside Jennifer's drunk brain. Like magic, it cleared the intoxication out of her head. Castiel watched as her eyes cleared and she realized what happened. Jennifer saw the shattered glass on the floor, Castiel's alert face, and the second bottle in her hand.
"Cas what am I doing," Jennifer whispered. She sunk to her knees on the cold bathroom counter and stared at her bloodied wrists. Cas quietly sat down next to her. "What's wrong with me?" Jennifer asked.
"Nothing's wrong with you Jennifer. You're just traumatized. Your experiences have been quite intense," he replied calmly.
"How did you find me? How did you know what I was doing?" Jennifer asked.
"Dean and Sam asked me to check on you. They suspected that something was wrong."
Jennifer's head drooped. Staring at the floor, she shyly asked, "They were worried about me?"
Cas was confused. "Of course they were worried about you. Why would you think they weren't?"
"Well, I mean, they left me. They didn't want me to be with them," Jennifer responded.
Castiel gave a sad smile. He took Jennifer's hands in his and turned her palm upwards.
"So you thought this would be a good idea?"
Jennifer chose not to respond and hung her head in shame. Cas placed his hand on her wrist and slowly began to heal them as he began to explain.
"Jennifer, do you know where your brothers went?"
She shook her head no.
"They went to finish the job they started. They were worried about the rest of the town that's being haunted, so they went to go kill the god they were chasing. Neither one of them wanted to leave, but they thought it was safer to leave you than take you. And they were right. You still haven't healed all the way. What you went through was very extreme. It will take time. And doing things like this," Cas paused and lifted her wrists up to her face, "will not help you."
Jennifer sat in silence, absorbing the new information. Then when she finally realized what it meant, she grabbed his hands and looked at him with panic in her eyes and cried, "Cas please don't tell them about this. They'll get so worried. I've already upset them both so much, please don't tell them."
"I won't," Cas promised. "But then you have to promise that you won't do something like this again."
Jennifer nodded her head vigorously.
"Ok come on them. Let's get this blood cleaned up." Jennifer started getting her clothes for a shower, but before she could get in Cas snapped his fingers and Jennifer was clean.
"I should go now. Sam and Dean will be home soon, and if I'm still here they will get suspicious," Jennifer nodded in agreement. Just as Cas was about to leave, Jennifer yelled, "Cas wait!" She ran up to Cas and threw her arms around his neck. Cas was taken aback. "Thank you," Jennifer whispered. "For everything." Cas noticed she was standing on her tiptoes to reach him and grinned. He returned the hug and whispered, "Anytime Jennifer." He stepped back, smiled, and vanished.
That night, Sam and Dean arrived back to the motel room at around 3:30 AM, exhausted and beaten up. But sadly, there was nothing new about that. They boys were used to it by now. When they entered the room, they found Jennifer lying sprawled on the floor.
"Jennifer!" they both exclaimed as they ran to her side. Dean gently shook her shoulder, and said, "Jenny. Jenny wake up." Jennifer began to stir and slowly opened her groggy eyes. Both boys let out a sigh of relief as Jennifer woke up.
"Sam, Dean..." she said groggily. As her eyes opened wider she saw the boys' horrible conditions. Sam had an enormous black eye and was bleeding from his ear. There were slashes along his arms and his shirt was torn, but Dean looked worse. Not only was his face bruised and shirt torn to tatters, but his lip was split, had claw marks all across his cheek, clearly had a dislocated shoulder, and needed stitches all along his forearm.
"Wh-What happened two you two?" Jennifer asked.
"Dean laughed, but it came out raspy. Broken ribs, Jennifer diagnosed. "Turns out the bastard has claws and a whole lot of fight in him. But I think the real question is, what were you doing sleeping on the floor?"
Jennifer recalled the earlier incident she had, and how the blood loss paired with getting drunk and still healing from yesterday had all resulted in her passing out. She decided to tell the half-truth. "I uh, got really drunk," she grinned sheepishly. Dean threw his head back and laughed—or at least attempted to, since it came out as a painful groan.
"Sit still I'll get the med kit," Jennifer stated, launching into doctor mode. That was the one benefit that she had gained from her medical degree; it came in handy quite often in their lives.
"Jenny you haven't healed yourself-" Dean began.
"Sit," Jenny ordered. "You too Sam."
Jennifer entered the bathroom, searching for the med kit, but when she looked up she found what she least expected. Jennifer stood there stunned, unable to move, until finally, she screamed, "DEAN!"