A/N: Hey, new chapter... Um, the next update might not be until next weekend, my grandmother passed away last night and I'm gonna be doing a lot of traveling during the week to the wake/funeral.

Chapter 11: I Know What I'm Without

We were standing on the shore of an island off the coast of Crete. I felt uncomfortable, Mello had been staring at me unblinkingly fir the past few minutes.

"You look exquisite, my darling." He said after some time.

"Thank you…" I replied.

"Are you happy with the way that you look chéri?"

I looked down at myself momentarily then my gaze returned to him. "Yes, I do believe so."

"Good, my darling." Mello smiled and reached out to play with a lock of my hair. "Because after tonight everything about you physically will stay the same."

I grew nervous and averted my eyes.

"Near, are you ready?" Mello asked seriously.

"Why yes of-" I was cut off by Mello biting into my neck. Mello drank just as deep from me as B had, but with love in every gulp.

Seconds later I grew dizzy and felt my knees weaken and collapse. I felt a protective arm hold me by the waist, and I moaned as my vision blurred.

"Mello…" I whimpered, my eyes fluttering.

"Be silent, my darling. The energy required to speak is not needed used."

I complied, feeling my self grow weaker and weaker. I soon felt I would slip from consciousness when I felt Mello stop drinking. I fell into Mello but he soon pulled the both of us to the ground.

"Drink." He whispered, pushing his wrist lightly to my lips. Blindly my mouth latched on, excited at the steady stream of his blood rush from the cur he had made on his wrist. I felt my strength return, as soon as I felt Mello's dwindle. He groaned and threw his head back as I began to drink more powerfully, needing and lusting for his blood. I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered as long as I could drink his blood… It was the greatest sensation in the world.

"Stop." Mello hissed after some time had gone by. I simply groaned and continued to drink.

"Stop!" Mello ripped his hand away from my mouth. I opened my eyes, looking at him I realized I was laying on top of him.

"In order for you to come out strongly in all of this the process of taking and giving the blood must be repeated!" Mello's face was severely pale and gaunt, he was panting at the effort to stay conscious. "Neither of us can be completely weakened in this. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, do you understand?"

I replied by simply angling my head so he had a better go at my neck.

I felt Mello's teeth sinking into my neck once more. This time was different though. This time I cringed as I felt my veins course each time with less and less of the powerful blood I had received from Mello. When I was nearly delirious with blood loss I felt Mello's mouth leave me neck, and once again found his wrist, open and bleeding, thrust at my mouth. I gladly obliged, hungrily taking in mouthful upon mouthful of Mello's delicious blood…

We continued on like this for some hours, a frenzied and erotic passing of the blood. To the average eavesdropper, of which there was none of, it would have sounded as if we were heatedly making love. Which I suppose this was the closest to lovemaking vampires could get. Mello and I passes the blood between each other so many times that I could no longer tell the difference between his and mine. Our blood had become fused together, binding us for eternity. Only then did Mello stop.

I was sitting one Mello's lap, his arms around me and his face buried in my neck.

"It's over now…" Mello mumbled, kissing me slightly.

I sat in a dazed silence. The effect that I got from simply a few mouthfuls of Mello's blood was nothing compared to now. I could even begin to hear the whispering thoughts of mortals…

"Is it always like this?" I whispered, afraid of the volume of my own voice.

"Yes my darling, and your senses will only increase as you grow older."

"It's so brightthough!"

Mello began stroking my hair. "Night time is the only time we have. Exposure to the sun will kill us; we need all the light we can get at night."

I nodded, looking up at the moon.

Mello stood up, pulling me with him. "Come darling, we need to get you into the water."

"Why?" I asked. Mello didn't answer, simply squeezing my hand gently as we waded out waist deep in the water. Just as we got there I felt an odd lurching in the pit of my stomach. Seconds later I felt of sorts of bodily fluids begin to leave me.

"How revolting!" I exclaimed, watching a dirty colored patch of water form around me.

Mello smirked. "It's only natural. Technically we're dead, so these kind of bodily functions aren't required." Mello spoke of it so casually, I however was positively disgusting. "What about these clothes?" Surely they were spoiled, not to mention the salt water.

Mello shrugged. "I have prepared other garments." I nodded glumly.

After the excretion of my bodily fluids was over, a mischievous grin played on Mello's face.

"Darling, why don't we go for a swim?"

"Wha-" I barely had time to consider it before Mello forcibly dunked me under water. I opened my eyes to find that the salt water didn't sting my eyes, and I had perfect vision as well. I heard a dull splash beside me as Mello came under also. He smiled, flashing his white teeth. He grabbed my hand and began to swim out deeper. I noticed I didn't need to breath, and that I was a much stronger swimmer then before.

After exploring the bottom of the outer edge of the intertidal zone Mello drew me into an underwater hug. We stayed like that for some moments before Mello began to bring us to the surface. When we came up I was not gasping and spluttering for air as one would expect, I was completely calm and level-headed.

Mello nuzzled his wet face into my equally wet neck. "Can you hear this?" He whispered.

"Yes, very well." I replied.

"Good." Mello released me and began to tread water. "No mortal could ever hear such quiet of a sound."

I nodded.

"So far all your physical skills are well in order. All we have to do is test your climbing and jumping skills." Mello flipped over and began to back-stroke his way towards shore, a thoughtful expression on his face. I swam beside him as Mello planned out the rest of our night.

"Finding your first victim will test your psychic capabilities and judgment skills." I silently pondered what my judgment skills had to do with my new vampiric abilities. "After hunting him down we can test your climbing and jumping…"

Mello and I stopped at a tailor's, the owner of which stared at us quite oddly. Mello ignored this and graciously paid for the new clothing. Once changed Mello and I headed for the back streets.

"I'm going to find a victim for you to kill. Then you have to find him or her yourself."

I hesitated. "With… my mind?"

"Of course my darling, what else."

I shrugged impassively and continued walking beside Mello.

Moments later Mello made a small 'aha' noise and said, "I found one! Quite a good specimen for your first kill." Mello finished it off with a cheery smile. He stopped walking and turned to face me, one eyebrow arched. I nodded, a concentrated look forming on my face.

The process of finding someone by mind-power is not something you could recite step by step to someone. I had to consciously think, Ok, there are a bunch of mortals around. One of them if I need to find. Mello says I'm supposed to pierce their mind to find out about them so… And suddenly something clicked and I could hear the incessant chattering of the minds of all the mortals within the surrounding couple of kilometers, give or take a couple meters. I winced. People sure do think loudly.

"Good, you're in." Mello said. "Now all you have to do is block out all the minds except for one, sift the through its conscious mind and memories, and if it's incorrect, toss it out and pick another one."

It was easier said then done. Then minds didn't like being cast out, and it took a lot of concentration to keep them that way. Much less focus on one particular mind and dissect it. It took a while, longer then I would like to mention, but eventually I found someone that could fit Mello's, 'scum of the world' profile.

I let out a huge sight, thankful to sever my connection with the minds of mortals.

"Found him?" Mello asked.

"I believe so."

Mello smiled. "Describe him to me, darling. I want to confirm you found the right person."

I looked at him. "Couldn't you just look into my mind and confirm it?"

Mello shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, my darling, I can't. Because you are my fledgling, the connection is permanently broken." Mello's tone was severely grim. I was exasperated. "Doesn't it make more sense for us to have a stronger connection, since we share such a deeper bond?!" It didn't make any sense according to my logic.

"It would be wonderful for it to be that way…" Mello sighed wistfully. "However I don't know why it's like this and no one has been able to reverse it."

I frowned. "Oh. Well the man is tall and heavy-set, the illegitimate son of a Greek merchant. Escaped convict, was convicted of theft. Since then he has raped and killed to women." The last sentence came out as a whisper; his recent crimes reminded me too much of what B.B. had done to me.

Mello rubbed my back comfortingly. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "He was the best specimen within what I guessed your range to be."

I nodded firmly as Mello began to walk again. I would need to get over my fears as soon as possible.

When we reached the alley the man was lumbering around in Mello stopped walking and put his hands on my shoulders, boring hypothetical holes into my face. "It's almost a shame to have you feed…" He caressed my cheek in his hand. I stayed silent, looking up into Mello's bottomless blue eyes, taking in all the new details and shades I could now see. "Your skin is so pretty when it's so white… Like a fragile porcelain doll or a hauntingly beautiful ghost…" Mello continued so stare at me in a longingly sad manner. "It's so unfortunate…" Mello smiled. "But none the less necessary. Come darling," He took my hand and led me into the darkness of the alley. "I'll stay behind and watch. You go ahead now." He pushed me lightly, obviously noticing my distress at confronting the large, oily man.

Stumbling forward I threw one last furtive glance at Mello, to which he replied with a bright smile.

I sighed, gathering what little confidence I had and walked up to the man. I supposed I must have developed the habit of walking soundlessly, because I had to tap him on the shoulder to get him to notice me. He turned around sluggishly, and his jaw dropped upon seeing me.

"A-are you an angel?! Am I dead?! Are you going to take me to Hell? I'm sorry mother! The man yelled in a slurred voice.

"No." I said flatly. I was inwardly disappointed that the first victim of my immortal life was a complete dunce.

The man looked more then confused for a moment until I careened my neck to reach his fatty one and bluntly bit him. My fangs weren't finished refining themselves, because I sort of had to gnash at his skin to create a wound. It was rather messy; unlike the clean puncture wound Mello would create.

I almost spit the blood out as it came to me. It was very raw tasting, if I had to put a word on it. It was very unlike Mello's blood. Mello's blood had a blend of flavors, like a well prepared meal.

Eugh. I thought as I continued to rid the man of life. I must have already attained a vampire's nature if I was already thinking of blood as sustenance.

I got used to it soon though, and began to love the fell of the man struggling to break my powerful grip on him. I shuddered slightly in excitement as I felt his heart rate slow. He was dying, and I felt a sickening pleasure in knowing that. I moaned lowly as I felt his supply of blood weaken, I felt his heart stop.

I continued drinking anyway. My soul was sinking down with him, and my stomach was convulsing at the remaining blood I was drinking. I didn't care one bit. Just to have the mortal blood flowing through me and strengthening me is all I needed and cared about. I didn't care that I was drinking this man to a wrinkly husk. I didn't care that my body was rejecting the dead blood. I didn't care…

Strong arms wrapped around me, tearing my mouth from the dead man's neck. "No! Stop!" I cried out blindly, squirming and thrashing about to be released.

"Near calm down!" I recognized the stern voice, it was Mello. I stilled, but was still tense and wary.

"My darling, you have to stop drinking when they die."

"Why?" I asked angrily.

"Because when you drink dead blood it's putting dead things into your body, which is bad. You yourself could get very sick and even die if you continue drinking after death."

I shuddered and nodded. For all the pleasure I got from drinking of the dead man I had felt very sick at the same time.

Mello rubbed my stomach lightly. "Try not to it again, dearest. Not only will it hurt you, but seeing you like what nearly caused the death of me!"

"I'm sorry, Mello."

"Apology accepted. It's not your fault, you didn't no, mon amour."

Mello began walking again.

"How many times a night do I need to drink?"

"Once tonight is fine. Tomorrow night when you start to feel the thirst three or four should do…"

I bit my lip uncomfortably. I wasn't sure if I was able to control myself to not drink after death. I waited for Mello to sense this and explain an alternative. Then I remembered he couldn't use his powers to acutely guess my thoughts and feelings. So I voiced them.

"Mello… I'm not so sure I'll be able to stop drinking after they die."

Mello nodded, casually wrapping an arm around my waist. "Then you may do what is called 'Little Drink'. That is when you only drink enough to make a person dizzy. Nor will get absorbed in drinking 'till they die. If that's what you're going to do five to eight people would be better."

I nodded, smiling slightly. I wouldn't have to worry about drinking beyond the death, and neither would I be killing anyone.

My thoughts were interrupted when Mello and I came to an abrupt halt at a brick wall.

"You're going to climb that." Mello stated, pointing slightly.

"H-how?" I stuttered. It was a brick wall for God's sake. How could you climb a twenty foot brick wall without assistance?

Mello gave me an odd look before gracefully jumping onto the wall. I gaped. There was no way that was possible.

Mello turned his head and smiled down at me. "Just jump, my darling. I assure no harm will come to you."

I gulped and made a silent prayer before making a running jump. I cried out slightly when I noticed I was still latched onto the brick.

Mello looked down at me, as he had started climbing earlier. "What did I tell you, mon amour?"

I nodded shakily and began to follow Mello upwards. Somehow my fingers were unable to find grips in places unimaginable before. It was very odd.

Seconds later I scrambled up onto the roof of a building. Mello smiled at me. The next thing I knew he had pulled me into his arms, kissing me. It wasn't blood kisses or sweet little kisses; it was full on open-mouthed kissing. I squeaked in surprise, but Mello only wrapped his arms around me tighter. I melted into the kiss, closing my eyes and accepting entrance from Mello's tongue. The battle of tongues began, but it was hopeless as Mello was all intent on exploring my mouth. I let him do so and moaned in response. Only after a few minutes of that did Mello pull away.

"What… What was that for?"

Mello only hugged me again. "My darling you are the perfect fledgling, everything I could have ever hoped for and more."

"I do not know how I can thank you enough Mello. You are the only person who has ever truly shown me love."

I felt Mello' body begin to shake, he was weeping again. He kissed the side of my mouth giving a hurried, "I love you." before composing himself.

Mello took my hand in his and led us to the edge of the roof. "Here's where we jump." He said cheerily, looking down at the dark street below.

"Jump?" I croaked, suddenly feeling like the twenty foot drop was a lot farther.

Mello looked like he was about to leap, but I reached and grabbed his shoulder. "Wait! I mean, surely this will at least mortally injure us-" I hardly had time to think as Mello swept me up in his arms and just jumped. I felt the air rush up beneath me as we dropped like a stone. "Mello!" I shouted, clinging closer to Mello even though I knew it only increased the rate of our descent.

A spilt second later we landed with a dull thud, my knees bending only the slightest on impact. Mello ended the embrace by casually wiping off some sort of dirt or dust that had collect on his jacked.

"Mello! What were you thinking we could have been killed!" I finished my hasty outburst with, "You scared me…"

"Mon chéri, je suis désolé. But to conquer a fear, isn't it required of you to face it?"

I started to stammer a philosophical response before I noticed quite a few people were staring at us in shock from our jump. "Mello may we just go home?"

"If that is what you wish, my darling." Mello linked arms with me and began to walk.

We only were staying in this hotel one day; we would be heading off for Moscow promptly the next evening.

I snuggled closer into Mello's coffin his arms around me and his breath coming into my right ear. I briefly recalled the first time I had lain down in the red-silk lining. B.B. had paid Mello a surprise visit, and Mello had desperately tried to protect me.

I quickly let go of the memory. That was all in the past now.

Mello kissed my neck as he closed the lid over us. "Would you like a coffin of your own, my darling? I can have one made once we arrive at Moscow."

"No… Mello." My words came our very breathily, and I felt Mello's lips form a smile. "So happy to sleep with me, eh? I'm glad, I'm glad…" Mello snuggled me closer, one hand lazily stroking my hair.

I felt my eyes suddenly grow very heavy. As the unconsciousness of dawn took its hold over me, lying in Mello's loving arms, I had one last thought, This is the way it should always be…

A/N: I wish I could just end it nice and fluffly like it is, *looks back and forth mysteriously* but there are still more things to come my dears... See you in the next chapter.