(the fray- ill look after you)
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know?
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down/
After another day of finishing packing and getting ready for tomorrow, Sean watched Emma exhaustively throw her last bag on her floor and fall onto her bed.
He smirked sadly but crawled in beside and laid down next to her, turning his head to watch her sigh up and stare at the ceiling.
"Is it wierd to say I might miss this place?" Emma asked, and turned her head to him to see him gazing at her already. She smiled softly when he shook his head no.
"I get it." he replied, and reached his hand out to caress a hair against her cheek back behind her ear.
Emma closed her eyes as he leaned in and kissed her, quite deeply, which she didn't mind but smiled against the kiss and giggled a bit when he crawled over her.
They pulled away, her slightly breathless since not prepared for that and of course heart pounding, "Where'd the come from?"
"That kiss?" he asked, raising a playful eyebrow, "My mouth."
She laughed again and looked up at him lovingly as he laid over her, always so careful not to crush her like he had been so careful about even before when they first dated...or second dated? Ugh, she couldn't keep up anymore.
She leaned her head up and kissed him tenderly, and he sighed between her lips as she parted them, and he slipped his tounge inside pushing against hers and he nearly growled when he heard her moan into the kiss.
He leaned his forehead down as they just laid there, and nuzzled it between her neck and shoulder.
"No matter what.." drifted Sean, "I'll always love you, you know that right?" it was silly to say, and corny, but true. He sadly roamed his hand around on her hip and clenched her tshirt into his hand, never wanting to let go.
Emma felt his heart beating hard since he laid so close on top of her, chest to chest.. until he rolled onto his back and pulled her to the side of him and she laid her head on his chest.
"I know." she answered as he kissed the top of her head and then pulled away.
He looked down worriedly at her, "And you me, right?"
She looked up at him, assuring but sort of confused, "Ofcourse, Sean."
He nodded, letting a big breath out that he didn't even know he was holding. He softened, and held her closer to him in his arms and bent upwards to grab the blanket and cover them up with it. He smiled, feeling her melt into him more and even shut her eyes.
"No sleepin, Em." he whispered huskily in her ear and she pouted but kept her eyes closed, "It's almost 9 and you know the rules."
No boys in the room.
Emma almost whimpered, and shook her head no, "Since when do you listen to rules?" she teased.
He laughed, until he noticed Allison checking in on the rooms and closing doors so he stopped, and sadly held onto Emma as if for dear life too.
He didn't wanna go.. he wanted to stay just one night with her.
Allison stopped and looked into the room to do a double take and stayed quiet. Emma hadn't noticed her and Sean's eyes were pleading with her not to make him go. She smiled softly...guess she could give them one night. They were going to have a long day tomorrow. She gave Sean one final nod before shutting the door ever so soundly.
Emma only shifted in his arms and it sounded like she was already sleeping and he leaned his chin on the top of her head, closing his eyes as well.
Best sleep either have ever gotten in long time.
The next morning, the sun seemed to shine brighter than any other day into the hospital windows.
Craig smirked, sharing a look with Spinner as Snake came into the front door, clapping his hands together and smiled just as wide back at them.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
Craig looked down to his other side at Ellie who smiled also and nodded back up to him.
Spinner added, "We're missing a few."
Snake nodded, now noticing Sean, Emma or Jay not here. Sean was in his room, and all his stuff was packed in his one big black duffle bag. Seans shakey fingers did up the zipper and he couldn't believe he hadn't said anything yet to Emma, he was just so afraid to.
He didn't want the happiness to be over, in a blink of an eye. But he needed to tell her.
He sighed, putting the strap of the duffle bag over his shoulder and he wore a black hoody and his beanie on top of his head. He walked out of his room to stop abruptly when the room across from him which was Jays... and the one and only leaned on the door frame looking right back at him.
Was he waiting for him?
"What?" smirked Jay, "No goodbye punch?" Taunted Jay.
Sean knew what he was doing and raised an eyebrow, "Good luck in here for another 6 weeks." he taunted back but with his own killer smirk.
Yet, it didn't come out as cruel as it was suppose to, Sean had some sort of...civilized look in his eyes as Jay eyed him and noticed it too. So he wasn't pissed beyond belief at him anymore?
Sean gave him a small nod and turned to leave, and Jay chuckled a bit, shaking his head. He then sighed, and dug his hands into his pockets, heading to Allison's office for their usual afternoon hangout of sharing feelings.
Down the hallway Sean turned into, his heart started to pound faster and faster and he swallowed the lump in his throat. His heart suddenly stopped, and dropped, when he saw Emma waiting for him by the others at the front now.
"Let's go guys." Snake said, and led them out, opening the door.
Ellie, Craig and Spinner laughed, running out of the place like children on Christmas day and they headed to the school bus to go back to Degrassi. Emma went to follow after Snake gave her a tight hug but she noticed Sean.
Sean felt his throat feeling as if someone was cutting it up, that's how hard he was trying to keep the sadness down as he walked to Emma and took her hand, guiding her outside.
This was it. They were out. It was over. Emma smiled happily and watched Spinner and Craig fight another playfully and Spinner ended up getting on the bus first.
"You guys are stupid." laughed Ellie, climbing on, and before Emma went, she was pulled back.
Emma turned to Sean and tilted her head, "Sean.." she drifts smiling, "We need to get on before we get stuck here forever." she teased.
She was almost up against the side of the bus, and Sean made sure she was when he crashed his lips down to hers and kissed her deeply. His arms went around her so tightly she was sure that was the reason to her loss of breath this time.
She giggled a bit in between the kiss and tried to put her hands on his chest to stop him, "Sean." she muttered between the kiss and closed her eyes still, kissing him back once more softly before opening her eyes. "Lets go."
When she opened her eyes and saw his eyes still closed, with a tear slid down his cheek... .she shook her head in confusion.
What was wrong?
"This is suppose to be a happy moment." she teased, whiping his tear with her thumb that only made his eyes shut harder. She had to make it worse, go and touch him like that.. say something like that.
He opened his eyes finally, and Emma was a bit taken back, seeing something like regret flowing through them.
What was he doing? Why wouldn't he get on the bus? He was acting like they'd never share a moment together again or something.
"Sean?" she sounded so weak now, her gut turning as if she sensed something wrong.
"I'm not going." he said breathlessly.
"You're not staying here.." Emma laughed a bit nervously but questionably. Was Allison making him stay?
That's not fair! That can't be true..
"No." he agreed, and glanced to the right
Emma turned her head and saw Tracker waiting at his old mustang car and leaning on it, appearing to wait for Sean.
"I'm going back home." he whispered, his eyes full of regret and sorrow and now Emma understood why, and looked back at him with betrayl, hurt, sadness..
Seans heart broke as she hadn't even spoken yet, he knew she was angry and he hated hurting her. God, he didn't want to do this, he just needed to, for himself. Allison said it'd be good for him and Emma too, he needed to figure himself out before he could take care of her and Sean wanted to do that.
"Your leaving Degrassi." Emma said.
"I need my family." Sean glanced at Snake from the bus door who peaked out and noticed them talking and in a moment so turned and waited, "Like you always need yours and they need you."
Emma laughed short and bitterly. Sean's mouth dropped, and his eyes fought tears as she turned to walk away but then she came back, and he wanted to speak, but didn't know what to say.
"Em-" he shut up, seeing the hatred flash through her eyes when he called her that.
"This is the last time I ever let you into my head, Sean Cameron." she snapped and laughed at herself, looking down at her feet, "I'm so stupid."
"Don't say that." he begged, trying to grab her hand and she yanked her hand back. She looked as though he dug a sword through her chest.
Allison was coming out of the building and saw them, eyeing them closer and Emma tried to not show how mad she was becoming.
Emma glared down at the ground, and then up at him again. "I'm done." she told Sean and adjusted her bag on her shoulder before softly snickering, "I'm so done."
He numbly watched her go. Allison stepped beside him and patted his back, guiding him to his brothers car. His feet moved but he tried hard to fight the tears, and hard to ignore his heart screaming at him to go back to Emma.
His feet seemed to obey his heart, and he ripped from Allison's side, running onto the bus and Emma sat in the front, with her bag on her lap and she looked up, a bit shocked but still narrowed her eyes away from him til he leaned on the bus seat in front of her, leaning over it and looking at her desperately.
Ellie, Craig and Spinner stared at the scene before them.
"I'll come back." he promised, and she still wouldn't look at him "And I'll be better. I'll be who you need me to be and who I need me to be."
Emma glanced at him, and felt a bit of hope but still hated him. Yet loved him. God this hurt a lot.
"Don't give up on me." he begged.
She slowly looked out the window, trying to fight her own tears and he bent down more to her and said one more time, "I'll come back."
With that, Snake was on the bus and it started up, and Sean turned, jogging off of it and ran back to Tracker's car. He glanced once more back to watch the bus drive out. He felt his stomach turn, hoping Emma believed him. They could call and text anytime, and he'd visit, as long as she forgave him.
/What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end/
Ellie and Craig shared a look, eyebrows raised and she even cringed to how bad that moment was. Why had Sean said goodbye? Where was he going?
Spinner even sadly glanced at Emma and as the bus drove he even got up and went to sit in her seat with her. She was fighting the tears so hard, wishing she was able to numb it, but she couldn't.. it had to do with Sean... that will always make her feel something. She glanced over to laugh at Spinners kindness to come sit there and be there for her, but she ended up bursting into tears when she laughed and he pulled her into a hug.
/And you could have it all
My empire of dirt/
Meanwhile, back in the hospital, Jay Hogart stood at the window and watched the bus leave without him and he took a deep inhale and exhaled as he nodded. Time to work on himself now. He'd see them later..
/I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself/
As Tracker drove Sean back home to Wasaga, Sean leaned his forehead on the window, nothing but a deep frown on his face and he just looked completely torn in half.
"It'll be fine." Tracker promised, "You'll go back to her when your both ready."
His car drove down the road and onto the highway, heading for Wasaga and far away from Degrassi.
I would find a way
(johnny cash-hurt)