11

There were better ways to spend a day with a hangover.
"What do you mean 'a year ago'?" the old man croaked. "She was where?"
"Here." Aramis answered and quickly corrected: "About a year ago. And I'm not saying, I'm asking. She told me she had an uncle in Fondettes.
"I had a niece of mine here a year ago?"
Aramis refrained the urge to roll his eyes but barely managed hold a sigh. The man tensed and he cursed himself. As disjointed as his speech was, Isabelle's uncle was not an imbecile. He had built a large inn from nothing and run a successful business for almost fifteen years before losing it all in a fire and spending the last decade drinking himself to oblivion. He'd stopped, according to the neighbours. Too late to save his family, or, as it seemed, to fully regain his wits.
"But you remember her, don't you?" Aramis insisted. "Blond hair. Blue eyes. Sixteen years old at the time? Pious, clever and funny, very good with horses..."
"Ain't had no horses for years."
"Oh… No, but… What I mean is..."
"Listen, lad…" the man cut off. "I never met her. Not a year ago. Not ever. Never saw my sister since she's fifteen. Never knew she had children. No' you tell me she dead and had a daughter. What you want me to say?"
"I'm… sorry," Aramis stammered. "I just thought… I have no idea what I thought. I apologize for wasting your time."
He got off the rickety stool he was precariously perched on, and made for the door. The old innkeeper started uttering vague words of comfort, and the broken litany escorted him on his way out.
"If she come," the man added from his own chair. "I'll tell her you search for her."
She won't come. Aramis mused. She will never come and I will never see her again.
And that should hurt more than it does.
"I thank you, Sir," he said instead.

Juste Jule's voice caught him as he was saddling up.
"Unsuccessful, were you?"
He refrained from snapping at him. He knew the strongman didn't mean to tease him, but his friends' constant reminders that he would have already found Isabelle if he was meant to had become less and less subtle since their arrival at Tours. It was very tempting to take out his frustration on the first person fool enough to greet him with I-told-you-sos.
"I was," he answered, and couldn't help but add: "As you so sagaciously predicted."
Juste Jules shifted nervously on his own horse.
"I'm sorry."
"I don't think you are."
He was glad to hear the weariness just about win out over the bitterness in his voice. Juste Jules probably noticed, since he felt it was safe to press the matter further:
"Well, you're wrong. I believe you won't find her, but I do wish you would, if only to…"
Aramis tensed and pulled Ébène's reins.
"To what?"
"Forget it."
"Oh no, you don't get to do that. I didn't ask you to come with me. Actually, if I remember correctly, I specifically told you to wait with the others until I got back. So either leave me be or speak your mind!"
He'd expected the gentle strongman to mumble some apologies, and was completely taken aback when he promptly retorted:
"To realize you don't love her anymore."
After a moment, Juste Jules looked away, and Aramis understood that was because he'd been staring at him in silence the whole time.
"I…" he started, and had to cough for the lie to leave his lips: "I still love her."
His friend didn't even dignify this with an answer. He kicked his horse and headed to the wood where Valentin, Nicole and Yves were waiting.
"I still love her!" Aramis insisted to his back, and the strongman turned on his saddle to face him.
"You've never looked for her since the day you joined us, Aramis. It's been months since you even mentioned her name. You only remembered her uncle when we arrived at Tours, and even then you bedded three different women less than a week! Only your persistence at resisting Nicole's advances fooled us for a time, but we all came to realize that you simply didn't see her that way."
Nicole made advances to me?
"What was I supposed to do? Write poems? Bore you to death with my endless lamentations? And live like a monk?"
"No!" Juste Jules exclaimed with marked exasperation. "No, you weren't! Because you did everything you could back then! You asked her to be your wife, you took care of her after she lost the baby, you talked to her father, and searched for her even if it meant renouncing your inheritance. You weren't supposed to let that tragedy define the rest of your life, and you didn't, because, deep down, you knew there's nothing more you could have done. Because it's been full-on a year, Aramis, and you're a smart and attractive young man who's got every bloody right to move on!"
"I still love her," Aramis heard himself insisting, this time with at least some confidence. "She's the first woman I ever loved and the mother of my dead child. I'll never stop loving her."
"You know what I mean."
"I…"
I do.
I do know what you mean, and I know you speak the truth, because I wouldn't be so mad at you for telling it if you weren't. And I'm not angry, the same way I'm not sad that Isabelle wasn't at her uncle's, as if I ever believed for a second she would have been! There's a reason I delayed my visit. And I should face it but I can't, because if I stop loving Isabelle, I stop searching for her, and if I stop searching for her, what am I supposed to do with my life?
"Aramis?"
When did I stop? When did I renounce such a romantic quest and, when I did, why did I stay with the Valentins when I know I will never be an actor?
"Aramis..."
Was I too proud to go back? Or too lost to call Herblay my home?
"Aramis."
"What?"
"You can cry on my shoulder if you wish."
Aramis raised his eyes and found the grinning face of his friend. He did his best to conjure his most judgmental glare.
"Oh come on!" Juste Jules exclaimed."Don't pretend you don't crave some brotherly love."
Aramis tried to growl but the strongman's arm was now on his back, his other hand reaching for his head.
"Stop it!"
"That's not what you told me yesterday. 'Oh, Juste Jules! You're my best friend and I looove you'!"
"I certainly never said that!"
"How would you remember?"
"I was not that drunk."
"Drunk enough to confess your deep, unconditional affection for me. Just after I dragged your sorry ass to bed, you said that I deserved to be loved, and asked me if I was happy because, and I quote: 'Oh, Juste Jules, I reeeeally want you to be happy.'"
"And I stand by my word, but stop cuddling me. You'll make me fall from my horse!"
"I'll stop if you quit sulking."
"I'm not…" Aramis started, then felt himself losing his grip on Ébène's flanks. "All right, I'll stop! Just don't…"
Juste Jules caught his arm just in time to save him from a rather undignified tumble, and hauled him back into place on his saddle as if he weighed nothing. Not for the first time, Aramis admired how such a powerful man had adopted such a peaceful existence. There was violence in him, though. He'd witnessed on a couple of occasions how his friend could lay into those who threatened innocents. But, even then, he always kept his strength in check, and Aramis was not sure if it was in his nature or something he had had to learn.
"So why are you staring at me like that, now?" the strongman asked, not losing his smile. Aramis smirked in turn:
"I was just wondering."
"What?"
"You really think that I'm smart and attractive?"
"Oh shut up!" Juste Jules grumbled. And Aramis could have sworn he'd seen him blush.

xxxx

"Nicole gave me quite a hard time, you know."
Aramis raised a brow. They'd been riding in silence for a while, and his friend's unexpected statement had snapped him out of his self-centered reveries.
"What? When?"
"This morning, after you left. Might have been what finished convincing me to go after you."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing. She just decided to chastise me for my reckless behavior with Cénon. Apparently, fleeing death threats with a hangover after having lost a fantastic work opportunity was as good a time as any."
Aramis snorted.
"Nicole is the most reckless of us all."
He'd expected the strongman to laugh with him, and was surprised to see his face sink.
"Did I say something stupid?"
"No," Juste Jules smiled. "She's so foolhardy she makes you look wise. She just thinks I shouldn't follow her example."
"Because she believes you wouldn't even squash a mosquito unless it bit your friends?"
"Because she knows I have the luxury of avoiding it."
Aramis raised a brow.
"I… don't understand."
Juste Jules visibly held back a sigh, then started fidgeting with his reins, and Aramis wondered if there had not been a hidden reason behind the strongman's appearance at Isabelle's uncle's place. Nicole had been grumpy when he'd left earlier that morning, and he'd blamed it on the hangover. She was lucky enough to not usually suffer much from such ailments, but he'd rarely seen her as intoxicated as she'd been the night before, and he'd been too distracted by his own predicaments to dwell on it.
"From the day she was born," the strongman started again, "Nicole has been insulted, provoked, and threatened with death. She has barely avoided being… assaulted, a dozen times, and was once captured by slave traders after a representation. When she cut one of the men's throat and broke free, she was the one who had to face the gallows. It was only thanks to her father's influence that she escaped the sentence, which was still commuted to ten lashes. It's not as if she'd have much of a chance to live a peaceful life even if she dreamed of it."
Aramis knew about the slave traders and the flogging. Nicole had told him the story without flinching, the second day after they'd met. He also suspected that she had not avoided all the 'assaults'. She was always more than eager to share her understanding of plants with girls who came to her in confidence, at night, after the representations, the men in the troupe turning a blind eye to these meetings. Besides, from his life in the brothel, Aramis knew the marks childbearing left on a woman's body, especially very young ones, and he believed the reserved Juste Jules had recognized them as well. That was the one thing Nicole had not confided to him. After all that he'd confessed to her about his own past, he would have resented this dissimulation if not for the dullness in her eyes, every time he mentioned his lost baby. That look was worth any voiced confidence. They'd spent hours in silence, back then, dropping their constant banter to hold each other's hand and just be there, week after week, month after month, as many times as they needed, until, one day, Aramis had felt like the subject didn't hurt as much as it had.
He'd always known more of Nicole's past than she'd put into words, and was painfully aware that you didn't crave action that much if you weren't running from something. But this...
He had to say it to believe it:
"You mean she seeks danger only because she thinks it would find her anyway?"
"Not 'only', Juste Jules amended. "But yes. Yes," he insisted, she does. "
"That's… I'm sorry, Juste Jules, but that seems awfully stupid."
If the strongman was offended, he didn't show it. Instead, he smiled:
"Well, I keep forgetting you see no differences in all God's children."
"Of course I see them! I just don't get why you should act upon them."
"Well, that's what makes you so special."
For a second, Aramis wondered if he was being mocked or praised. There'd been some acerbity in Juste Jule's voice, but it didn't seem directed at him.
"Why?" he merely asked. "Because I'm not an imbecile?"
"You know... They say I'm the friendly and trusting one, but you can be awfully naive sometimes."
"That I'm certainly not."
"So you think. But you keep hoping everyone could... see the light if they just try enough. People are mean, Aramis. They choose to do harm, either from cowardice or basic selfishness. You're giving them too much credit calling them imbeciles. And I find it admirable that you don't discriminate, but that's a luxury you have. If Nicole did the same, if she waited to learn all about about the next stranger before assuming that he's a threat, she might end up dead."
"That's no reason for rushing blindly into danger."
"I guess not, but it is one to choose to live your life to the fullest, and not worry about tomorrow. And that explains why she's so concerned that I, who she believes could work my way into the world and, with some strategy and measure, make all my dreams come true, keep putting myself in harm's way."
Aramis didn't answer. He'd always assumed that Nicole merely thrived on danger, just as he did. That was partly why he loved her so much. Not once in his existence had he met anyone who was both so similar to him and so honest regarding their rare disagreements. But she'd never told him how she felt about Juste Jules' own recklessness, nor had she mentioned that she had the same reasons to be equally disapproving of his.
Somehow, it hurt.
Enough to redirect the subject on his friend.
"Do you think she's right?"
"Mmm?"
"Do you think that, since your difference doesn't show, it's simply up to you to fulfill all your dreams?"
"Well, that sounds pretty judgmental, put like that."
"Isn't it like that, though?"
And Nicole had never been one to lecture but, again, she'd never been one to keep things from him, so...
"Why are you telling me all this, Juste Jules? Did she ask you to?"
The strongman grinned.
"As if she needed anyone to speak her mind!" he quipped, yet Aramis could see the unease in his eyes. "No, she did talk to me about her feelings, but I'm my own man, Monsieur d'Herblay."
"Don't call me that." Aramis grumbled, but when his friend opened his mouth to offer some light-hearted retort, he didn't let him change the subject: "What do you mean, her feelings?"
Juste Jules sighed:
"You really can be quite dense when it suits you, you know?"
"Nicole doesn't... " Aramis wanted to insist, then stopped, feeling ridiculous just saying the thing out loud. The morning before, Juliette had more than hinted that Nicole was jealous of his attentions for other women, but he'd dismissed the teasing as part of her never-ending badinage.
"Nicole is like a sister to me," he finally declared. "She's family, as you all are."
Juste Jules smiled.
"We wouldn't dream of ruining that, for sure."
Saying this, the strongman kicked his horse forward, and for an instant, Aramis couldn't help but wonder if they'd been still talking about Nicole.

xxxx

Juste Jules remained remarkably silent as they approach their camp. Valentin, well aware of de Cénon's notorious mood swings, had insisted on choosing a secluded clearing, reasonably far from the main road. The same fear of the Vicomte's wrath had impelled him to show no mercy for his three companions' state after their excesses of the day before, and insist on escaping Tours before dawn. They'd traveled past noon, until they'd reached the vicinity of Isabelle's uncle village. That had been as good place to stop as any, and Aramis had rapidly left to carry through the last stage of his fruitless quest. Now that he was back, he wondered why he couldn't hear any of the familiar noises coming from his friends. Of course, Valentin would have advised them to keep it quiet, but he couldn't make out any sound of voices, any clang of metal from Yves washing the dishes or Valentin preparing the carriage, not even the sound of the horses. He raised his head and met Juste Jules' worried eyes.
"I left them all here," the strongman confirmed as they finally entered the clearing, sending a cold shiver down Aramis' spine. "We ate and tended to the horses. I didn't immediately go after you. Valentin had even unrolled his pallet for a nap."
Aramis dismounted and took a look around as his friend spoke. The place was empty and he wished he'd listened more of Nicole's attempts to teach him how read the subtle signs of people moving through fields and forests. Thanks to her, he could now recognize the tracks of most wild animals instead of only the ones he hunted, and knew how to identify the traces of an attack, but he had never studied enough to become a true woodsman. He remembered Bruneau's words, a year ago, about his swordsmanship, and how the tradesman had assured him he could grow into a remarkable fighter if he took the time to train. In moments like this, the old compliment sounded very much close to veiled criticism. Like when Valentin encouraged him to really work and make the best of his mediocre acting skills. He knew he relied too much on his natural gifts, and focused his efforts at becoming a true master of the things he was already good at. Well, he'd done just fine so far, he decided, finally noticing some unnaturally curved branches.
"This way," he instructed, drawing his pistol, and Juste Jules followed him, his blade in hand.
They didn't have to move far to spot Nicole. She was standing her back against a tree, her wrists tied above her head, gagged and apparently alone. Juste Jules made a rush for her and Aramis had to put his whole forearm on his friend's chest to stop him.
"What are you doing?" the strongman growled.
"Shush! It may be a trap."
Given that the young woman seemed unharmed, it took Juste Jules more willpower than it should have to calm down. They scanned the vicinity and couldn't make out any hidden attacker. When Aramis finally settled on whistling his best robin red-breast impression, Nicole raised her head and blinked furiously in their direction, not giving any indication that she feared for them.
"I guess it's safe to rescue her, now," the strongman grumbled, and Aramis bit his lip. He wouldn't apologize for prolonging Nicole's discomfort if it was to ensure all their safety. Juste Jules was already untying their friend when he joined them by the tree, hand still on his weapon. They didn't have the time to ask about the others' fate before Nicole removed the gag and almost yelled:
"De Cénon's men! They took them!"
"Étienne did that?" Juste Jules rephrased with more incredulity than Aramis had expected.
"Not your de Cénon," Nicole amended, rubbing her shoulders. "His father!"
"You must be kidding me!"
She huffed:
"It seems that your friend's viciousness comes from somewhere."
"What does he want?" Aramis asked, a knotted feeling in his stomach.
"You, actually. Well, you both. And all of us, I believe, but I think he was particularly interested in the man who outsmarted his son and the one who acted as his armed support," she specified, her eyes moving from Juste Jules to Aramis.
"Where are Valentin and Yves?" the former spoke impatiently.
"That's the point: I don't know. He left me here, tasked with telling you about his… game. He was impressed, apparently, by our little show yesterday, but not so pleased with the consequences for his heir's reputation. They'll keep Valentin and Yves prisoner until sundown. They'll kill them both if we don't find them in time. If we do… Well, I'm not sure, but I think he wants a duel."
"Why would he kidnap our friends if he wants a duel?" Aramis asked. "And how do we know that he won't shoot us on sight?"
"We don't, except that I wouldn't be surprised if he just liked the fun of the sport. He seemed honest enough, in his own, twisted way, but just in case, let's not just show up blinking like lambs to the slaughter, right? Do you have a weapon for me?"
Aramis handed her his spare pistol, and Juste Jules raised his arms to the heavens:
"How can you be so casual about all this?"
Nicole gave her joints another rubbing before answering:
"Well, believe it or not, I had plenty of time to calm down and come up with a plan while you were away."
"And what would this plan be?" Aramis enquired, trying to sound at least a bit sarcastic but his admiration for his friend's bravery taking over.
Nicole smiled:
"They went north-east. There's a river not far, I think they hope it will help cover their tracks. But I saw some rocks on our way in, and by the shape of them, I wouldn't be surprised if there were caves inside. I would say they crossed the spring and rode up north, where they can hide and ambush us if we happened to find them. Which we will."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I'm not, but we'll know soon enough. That's why I begged them to take me with them."
"You what now?"
"First they wanted to leave Yves. I thought he would be safer with Valentin than tied up alone in the woods. And, since I assumed they would do pretty much exactly the opposite of what I seemed to want, I faked hysteria and begged them to take me with them. Turned out I was right, and here I am, rescuing you."
Aramis raised an eyebrow:
"Rescuing us?
Nicole smiled:
"If you want to find my father and our youngest in time, you're going to need a scout."

xxxx

À suivre.

x

So I made it to the length of a NaNo Novel! In a year instead of a month but still: yeah me! First time I write something that long in English!
This chapter was a bit wordy, I'm afraid. Maybe I could have balanced the whole thing better, but I needed this transition and felt like writing dialogue. Action incoming in the next chapter. Only two left to finish this second act, they are already written and in the hands of my beta.
Please, tell me what you think. Most of you have been awfully quiet for a while.