I do not own Syfy's Alice.
I do not own Hatter. Shame.
Tales of the White Knight
Chapter 11: My Darkest Sin Repeated
We stood upon the hilltop, the Hatter and I, and watched Alice depart with the Prince. Away from us. And though I knew it was the right thing for her to do, my heart grieved within me to see her go.
The Hatter nodded to himself as if resigned to this new development. I, however, could not accept Alice's departure so readily.
No, no! This could not be the end of our quest! We are her loyal guardians!
Finally, I could bear it no longer.
Alice needed me . . . us.
"I'm going after her," I announced desperately.
"No," the Hatter stated quietly, uncharacteristically subdued.
"I am sworn to protect her!" I restated adamantly.
Did he not believe in holding true to vows? Did he not understand the severity of the situation? She was leaving! Again! Without us! Again!
"Your work here is done, Brave Knight."
He spoke respectfully and complimented me on a job well done in his low and base dialect. All of his confidence and charm were gone, evaporated, quenched in the departure of his Alice. He appeared hollow.
I despised it. I despised his surrender.
"But she's in safe hands now," he concluded, as if trying to convince himself.
Yes, I had no doubt Jack, the Prince of Hearts, would see her safely to her father and through the Looking Glass. The Hatter would not have allowed her to leave under any circumstances at all had he suspected otherwise.
The point is, foolish boy, that she is not in our safe hands.
The horses had returned home, as per training, to the Kingdom of the Knights while we were crashing flamingos into the lake. Guinevere would prove a worthy equine companion to the Hatter. I gifted her to him so that he may not have to wander on foot. Then he departed as well, in gloom and despair.
The glade was too empty now and too quiet. My companions were gone and I was once more alone. 'Twas unbearable. Not even a single blasted squirrel. I wandered aimlessly about for a while, muttering to myself. Finally, I knew there was only one course of action for me.
I donned my armor in preparation for the journey. Patting my noble steed, I once again regretted not reapplying his peeling organic whitewash paint. He deserved better, he did. He was a good, loyal horse.
I set off on my quest.
I rode along, singing to the heavens in hope and lament. My ancient verse once again. My refuge. My solace. My age old hymn.
"Charlie!"
Knights be blessed! Could he approach me just once without yelling?
"Thetan's Ghost! You nearly scared me half to death!" I reprimanded angrily.
Beat, heart! Beat once more! Beat within my noble, wheezing chest!
"What're you doing?" The Hatter inquired suspiciously.
I shrugged, formulating my words carefully.
"Out taking a little . . . jaunt," I said nonchantlantly.
Yes, that was it. The majestic knight out on his daily excursion through his bailiwick.
"You're following them!" Hatter accused, eyes narrowing.
Yes, indeed I am! Fulfilling my vow to Alice . . .
. . . as you also appear to be doing.
"So are you!" I countered, straightening in my saddle.
Hatter shook his head dismissively, avoiding my penetrating gaze.
Come now, Hatter! We have no time for this nonsense! We must needs keep her safe! Abandon this ridiculous farce and reunite with me on our noble crusade!
"Don't you shake your head at me!" I rebuked him, frustrated. "When I gave you Guinevere, you said you were going to hide out in the hills! Well, these hills are not the hills!"
As I gestured around us in illustration of my point, I realized that my words were not entirely truthful. We were surrounded by hills actually. Hills here, hills there, hills everywhere.
Hmm.
The Hatter sighed deeply. I drew myself up regally in my saddle.
I will fulfill my purpose here! And no one, not you nor the Prince of Hearts, will deter me!
"Come on, then," Hatter conceded.
Yes, we shall ride forth together!
"Try to keep up."
Now look here, Vassal, I shall not be treated this way by the likes of you!
"No, Harbinger! I am the knight! I will lead!"
I cajoled my aging stallion forward.
Sally forth, noble steed! We shall stand and be counted! Onward! Come now, how about a little trot for Daddy then?
The Hatter and I snuck back into the city and eventually arrived at the Hospital of Dreams. We caught sight of a company of Suits as they marched in. So many Suits arrived that I feared for my Alice, and 'twas clear the Hatter was worried as well. The Hatter assured me grimly that when the Suits caught Alice, she would not be harmed. She would be taken to the Hearts Casino. The Queen would not allow Alice to be killed before toying with her first.
We hid 'round a corner for the opportune moment to present itself. Eventually, Prince Jack and Alice came out the front entrance. Blessed be the Oracle, she appeared to be unharmed. They were surrounded by Suits, a man in a brown plastic suit, and . . .
"Oh, black day!"
Was that a man's body walking with a giant white rabbit head atop it? What new devilry is this?
The entourage began to leave, no doubt heading toward the Hearts Casino just as Hatter had fortold.
"Okay, okay," Hatter began, turning to face me. "I know there are a lot of Suits out there. But if we let them get to the Casino, there's going to be a whole lot more. We have to take them now."
He turned back to the departing troop. I stared in dismay at the back of his hatted head.
"Are you serious?"
The Hatter looked back at me, incredulous.
"Yes."
Has he gone mad?
Hatter continued speaking, listing our assets.
"We've got surprise on our side. And we've got horses."
True enough, but did you see the creature with the great rabbit head?!
The Hatter continued talking but I was lost in a bewilderment and missed most of his plan. I did catch a few phrases, among them "bottleneck", "swinging", and "grab Alice".
"I'm going to need a sword," he concluded.
Yes, very good, well, you see, um . . .
He turned to face me again, his countenance resolute.
"Show me what knights are made of."
Ah, knights! If course! Yes, well, you see, um . . .
And off he strode in determination, leaving me to stagger behind.
The Hatter positioned us in an alleyway between a dilapidated building and a yawning precipice. I sat astride my horse, positioned slightly behind him. He sat rigid in his saddle, recently acquired sword in hand.
"This is it!" He informed me. "You ready?"
Well, um, actually, I . . .
The Hatter twirled his sword and held it aloft.
As he counted down to our attack, I felt a surge of black fear rise within me. I was terrified. My horse must have shared in my utter terror, for he suddenly evacuated his bladder.
The Suits began to pass us by. The Hatter urged Guinevere forward, shouting.
The time had come to rescue the fair maiden! I gathered my rapidly diminishing courage, took a deep breath, and . . . ran.
Oh, my shame! Oh, my dishonor! Oh, my poor Alice and her Hatter!
I heard the Hatter yell my name and Alice scream his name in fear. Then my blood pounded in my ears so loudly that I heard no more.
Oh, what have I done?
My tears of guilt and regret mixed with the sweat pouring off me as I abandoned my friends and fled back in shame to the Kingdom of Knights.
Arrgggh! The thought of Charlie abandoning them just turns me inside out every time! Oh Charlie, you deserve such a smack!