Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

Pairing(s): eventually Natsu Dragneal x Zeref

WARNINGS: violence, alternative history, shounan ai (boy/boy pairing); you have been warned so don't like, don't read

The Will to Live

By V. Shalyr

11. Of Laundry Spells and Dreams

"I'd better wash off all this blood before we move on. These clothes will probably never be the same though."

"I might be able to help with that," Zeref said, inspecting his companion's bloodstained vest and leggings.

"Yeah?" Natsu raised his eyebrows.

"I have a spell for it," Zeref explained, which earned him a slightly dubious look.

"You have a spell for doing laundry?"

Zeref was puzzled. "Is that strange? Clothes need washing sooner or later, and it saves me the bother of carrying multiple garments."

"That's true," Natsu said, scratching the back of his head only to grimace at the stickiness of the blood drying in his hair. "It's just funny that you've got magic for something so mundane."

Zeref didn't see anything funny about it. It was perfectly practical. And anyway, Natsu's clothes certainly looked like nothing short of magic would be able to clean them.

They chose a spot on the riverbank with a grove of trees that would hide them from anyone passing on the road—although at this time of night, that was hardly a concern. Natsu peeled off his bloody garments and waded into the cold water while his companion set about sketching several rows of runes in the air around his discarded clothes, creating a rectangular space around them formed of countless little glowing marks. By the time the dragon swam back to shore, even the smell of blood had been erased from the fabric.

"This is amazing," Natsu said, inspecting his now spotless garments before putting them back on. "They look almost new."

"That was the idea," Zeref said.

Natsu swore he detected a trace of amusement in the wizard's voice. But hey, Natsu had seen plenty of spells meant for blowing things up, creating illusions, and even healing wounds. This was the first time he had ever seen magic used as a stain remover.

"How long do you think the fire will keep burning?" Zeref asked quietly.

The grin faded from Natsu's face, and he glanced back the way they had come, the glow muted to a dull, reddish orange by distance. The sense of triumph he felt in the wake of winning a battle had long since faded, leaving behind only the solemn knowledge that he had done what had to be done. The humans around here would no longer have to live in fear of being preyed upon, but on the other hand, there was now one less dragon in the world. Perhaps it was inevitable. Wicked and greedy dragons could do so much more damage than an average human dark wizard. Maybe his father was right and the time of dragons really was coming to an end, but what did that mean for Natsu and the other good dragons?

"Hard to say," he said in response to his companion's question. "Probably not until some time tomorrow."

"People are going to notice."

Natsu shrugged at that. "Yeah, but that can't be helped. And they'll have to find out that the dragon's gone sooner or later."

Slowly, Zeref nodded.

"Problem?" Natsu asked, frowning.

"It just seems sad, how easily lives can end."

"That's why we have to fight for the time we have," Natsu pointed out. "And as long as we have time, we should enjoy it so it doesn't go to waste."

"Is it really that simple?" Zeref wondered aloud. "Who decides what is wasted time? How do you know if you are making the most of what you have?"

Natsu shook his head. "I don't think anyone could answer those questions for you. But I do know that spending your life thinking about dying is not a good use of your time."

"When you spend half your time watching things die, it is hard to think of anything else."

"Fair enough. But you know, when you aren't that depressed, your magic is quieter and fewer things end up dying in the first place."

Zeref blinked and focused his gaze on him. "Is that true?"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you'd noticed. It's like how you know that when you're calm and not thinking about anything too serious, you don't have to worry as much about your curse acting up. I realize that it's not a long-term solution, but it doesn't hurt to give it a try, right?"

"Give what a try exactly?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Natsu reached out to ruffle his hair and grinned at the startled confusion that crossed his face. On Zeref, he found it an adorable expression. "Being happy."

.

Being happy?

It should not have been a novel idea, but it was. When Zeref had still been wandering the kingdom on his own, it would have been an impossible demand to make of himself. But now... Contemplating it now, it didn't seem like such a total impossibility.

He glanced at Natsu, glad to note that the dragon didn't seem tense anymore. There had been an odd sort of tension about him since the battle, but after their brief stop at the riverside, it had gone away. Perhaps it was because he no longer reeked of blood. Zeref certainly found that a relief himself.

Zeref's nervous energy from the past several hours was finally beginning to wear off, and it left him feeling tired and a little lethargic. Neither of them wanted to linger too close to the site of the battle, however, and so they didn't pause again to rest until well past dawn.

They found a place where a particularly large, flat boulder protruded out over the river and sat on its edge, letting the current wash over their bare feet. Natsu eyed the fish that swam past hungrily, and Zeref didn't have to be a seer to foresee that there was a large amount of barbequed fish in their future.

Sure enough, they'd been resting for hardly more than twenty minutes when Natsu waded in to begin his assault on the local fish population. Zeref used the time to take a short nap with his travel bag as a pillow, waking some time later to the smell of cooking fish. Without having to be asked, Zeref sat up and began rummaging through his pack for the salt and pepper.

Judging from the crispy, steaming pile Natsu had set on a clean patch of stone, the fish in the river had had a hard time.

"Let me know if you want any more," Natsu said, digging into the barbequed fish with gusto. "I only caught about twelve."

"Twelve sounds like plenty to me," Zeref replied. "Considering their size, I doubt I could eat even one by myself."

Natsu barely paused between bites to answer. "Just eat your fill and I'll finish what's left."

Neither of them spoke again until there was nothing left of the fish but a scattering of bones and scales that the river's current hadn't carried away.

"Any idea when we'll reach the next town?"

Zeref took out their map to check. "Not until tomorrow noon at the earliest. Should we go around it?"

Natsu shrugged. "Don't know. We don't really need anything, so we could just go around. No point making up our minds until we get there though."

"That's true." Zeref yawned and added, "If you don't mind, I think I'd like to sleep some more."

"Of course I don't mind. I should probably take a nap myself."

But after they'd made themselves comfortable on the grassy slope that led from the water's edge up to the road, neither of them could actually sleep. Instead, they lay awake listening to the rush of the current and watching the occasional bird fly by. Zeref knew that Natsu missed being able to fly. He wondered if seeing the birds reminded the dragon of that. It probably did. It had to be a huge adjustment, going from being able to fly over entire mountain ranges to having to walk everywhere on foot, but he never heard Natsu complain about the loss.

Perhaps that was just part of making the best of what you currently had.

"Hey," Natsu said suddenly, his voice drifting over the short span of grass between them. "If you didn't have to keep moving around, where would you want to live? I mean, what would you want the place to be like?"

"Aside from a place with very few people in it?"

Natsu snorted, but replied, "Yeah, aside from that."

Zeref considered the question, closing his eyes and trying to picture an answer. He'd passed through so many places on his wanderings. This really shouldn't be that tough, except that it had been such a long time since he had allowed himself to dream.

"Well," he started cautiously, "I suppose perhaps somewhere in the mountains. It's quieter in the mountains. Somewhere high with a clear view of the horizon. A spring or stream would be quite important as a source of fresh water, and some fruit trees would be convenient..."

Natsu chuckled. "So practical. Would you want to live in a house?"

"I don't know. Maybe if it was well camouflaged."

"I guess it's hard to stop thinking that way, huh?"

"Sorry."

Again with the pointless apologies," Natsu sighed, exasperated.

Zeref opened his mouth to apologize again but managed to stop himself before the word could escape him. Instead, he asked, "What about you? Do you already have a territory? Is it okay for you to be away this long?"

"Nah, I'm still looking for a good place, so it's not a problem. I have a few different areas in mind, but I wanted to scout them out a bit more before I made up my mind. Still, it'll have to wait until I break this curse."

"Is it... difficult being stuck as a human?"

"Well, it's not easy, that's for sure. But mostly, it's just really inconvenient." Natsu paused, considering, then added, "The food's great though. Humans really know how to cook."

The responding sound from Zeref was so soft that Natsu almost thought he had imagined it. But he hadn't made it this far in life by doubting his own senses.

Zeref's eyes snapped open when a shadow fell over him. He was startled to find Natsu leaning over him with his nose mere inches away, having propped himself up on one elbow.

"What?"

"You laughed," Natsu said, the surprise clear on his face.

"I did?"

"Yes, you did. I heard you." Slowly, Natsu's surprise turned to glee, and he grinned. "About time! I knew I'd get a laugh out of you sooner or later. Not sure what's funny about human food tasting great, but whatever. Good enough for me."

His face disappeared from Zeref's vision when he flopped back onto his back, leaving the wizard blinking up at the clouds. He had... laughed? Had he laughed? He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed. Was it even okay for him to laugh? He'd been responsible for so much grief.

"You're over thinking things," Natsu said, stifling a yawn. "Get some sleep. I'll wake you if anyone gets close. We can get going in an hour or so."

.

A fist pounded on her door, and Amika groaned. She'd been just about to fall asleep. Getting off the cot pushed against one wall of the infirmary where she usually slept, she stumbled over to the door, slid back the bolt, and opened it.

"What is it?" she demanded, raising a hand to shield her bleary eyes from the glow of the oil lamp in the person's hand.

Daniel's voice came out of the darkness. "Several messages just came in and... you have to see this. I don't know what to do."

He sounded upset, Amika thought the last traces of sleep clearing from her mind. Out of all the guards currently posted at this station, she and Daniel had been here the longest and knew one another best. He wouldn't have called her up in the middle of the night without a good reason.

"Come in," she said, letting the door swing open and moving to grab a coat from the nearby row of coat hooks upon the wall. Nights at this time of year were too chilly for her liking. Her hometown was located in much warmer climates.

Daniel didn't turn on the infirmary's main lights. Instead, he hurried to one of the tables, set down his lamp, and pulled several pieces of paper from his pocket. When Amika joined him, he handed one of these to her without saying a word.

It took the healer a second to realize what she was looking at. It was a wanted poster requesting information and cautioning civilians against approaching the target in question, and the face sketched upon it looked strangely familiar.

Amika gasped. "But that's—that can't be right."

"That's what I thought," Daniel said with a sigh. "But I think they're serious."

"He didn't seem like a dangerous criminal to me," Amika murmured, speaking mostly to herself. "Why do you think the knights are looking for him?"

"It says he's killed a lot of people," Daniel replied, referring to the small line of text at the bottom of the page.

Amika frowned. "There has to be some mistake. He was so upset by what happened in Aulia. Someone like that can't be a mass murderer. I just can't believe it."

Daniel rubbed a hand over his face and handed her a second piece of paper. "That's the other thing. Have a look at this."

This page contained a letter with instructions to increase the patrols around Aulia and any other nearby villages. Any sign of trouble or sighting of—sighting of—

Amika shivered and let the paper drop from her hands back onto the table. Suddenly, even with the extra coat, the room felt too cold.

"She got away? How could they let that happen?"

"Seems the woman they transported to prison was a magically created copy. There are spells around most wizard prisons to cancel out tricks and illusions. The moment she stepped across the threshold, she disappeared. The only thing left was a paper cutout in the shape of a person."

Amika chewed her lip then asked, "Do they have any idea when the switch happened?"

Daniel laughed, but it sounded hollow and tired. "They think it could have happened as early as the village when they took down that rune barrier to take her into custody. But it's more likely that it was sometime after that, since she spoke to some of the knights while they were on the road. Captain Edrik wants the two of us to be especially careful for awhile, because he thinks she might want revenge on us for helping to capture her."

Amika pulled a stool out from under the table and sat down heavily upon it. Her gaze fell once more upon the wanted poster.

"Should we... warn them? If she does want revenge, it makes more sense to go after them than us. We hardly did anything."

Daniel looked at the wanted poster too, expression clouded. Amika could almost hear him debating with himself, weighing the evidence of their own interactions with the wizard in the sketch with the words inked upon the page. Personally, the healer knew what she had more faith in.

"I'd like to warn them," he said at last, "but how? We have no way of contacting them. It's not like our message hawks are familiar with them."

"We know they'll be traveling along the Glass River," Amika said slowly, thinking out loud. "My sister works on one of the trading ships that frequent the area. We could send a message hawk to her."

"The fortuneteller?"

"Yes, her."

Daniel grimaced, remembering the one time he had met the rather eccentric woman and her just as eccentric husband, but nodded. "All right. If you write up the message, I'll send it first thing at dawn before anyone else gets to the hawks."

TBC...

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