When I awoke I felt around my sheets feeling cold. My heart ached a little realizing that the captain had left me sometime during the night... or maybe he wasn't there at all. I clutched my head tightly, what the hell is wrong with me.. asking the captain to stay with me like that. Despite feeling comfort in his arms I felt pathetic, after a failure I need his comfort. What am I doing to myself? I cant be near him my feelings for him will make things far too complicated, at one point I thought he felt the same but right now I know he doesnt. I sighed softly tugging on my chocolate brown locks groaning softly.
"Eren!" I looked up in surprise as Mikasa and Armin ran to the bars tears in both of their eyes. I stood walking to the door quickly taking both of their hands in mine as the tears slowly ran down my cheeks. I hadnt seen them for since Levi had lost his memory.
"Finally! Eren I was so worried!" Mikasa cried banging on the bars trying to open them. we all slid to our knees clutching each other as tightly as we could through the bars.
"I missed you both so much!" I sniffed as Armin reached passed the bars and squeeze my shoulders.
"how have you been Eren have they been treating you well?" Armin said softly his big blue eyes were bloodshot he looked tired. His skin was even more pale than normal, Mikasa just stared at me quietly here eyes shimmering with an emotion I'd rather not acknowledge or even think about right now.
"yes Levi has been watching over me." I bit my lip contemplating on whether I should tell them about the incident. I swallowed hard and decided it couldn't hurt I trusted them more than anyone else they were my family. Even after I became a titan Armin and Mikasa didn't turn on me they protected me from dying.
"We had an incident." I spoke softly as they both sat on their knees listening intently.
"I wasn't trying to, but I turned into a titan to pick up a fucking spoon." I whispered as the tears ran down my cheeks.
"The others wanted to kill me they were too scared to realize I wasn't hostile, but Levi stopped them he protected me from them." I whispered softly looking up at their shocked stares as they both placed a comforting arm on my shoulder making me smile through the tears until I heard Mikasa speak. My smile dropped instantly at her words.
"That asshole probably is just trying to make you feel comfortable before he tries to kill you himself." Mikasa hissed out her eyes flashing dangerously. What she said hit me hard, what if she was right? What if Captain Rivaille was only gaining my trust so I wouldn't turn on them, the moment I became useless he would get rid of me. My heart was aching. Levi wouldn't do that to me... no Mikasa is lying he would never do anything to hurt me.
"No Levi isnt like that!" I screamed at her making her eyes snap to me her glare turning murderous as more tears ran down my cheeks.
"I'm not like what brat?" Levi said as he came into view his eyes stopping on Mikasa and Armin who I assumed had snuck in here to see me.
"What is this? How the hell did you brats get in here?" Levi growled as his footsteps echoed loudly as he made his way down the steps to my dungeon. Mikasa stood her eyes darkening as she stared at Levi, who stared at her with a bored expression.
"Captain!" I cried out happy to see him. His eyes met mine for a fraction of a second a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips before he nodded his head in the direction of Mikasa and Armin. A couple of guards ran down grabbing Mikasa who was screaming and thrashing to be let free. Levi gets straight in Mikasas face, he looks angrier than I have ever seen him.
"who do you think you are? Just because you are an asset to us doesn't mean I wont execute you for disobeying me. I gave an order. You two are to stay away from Lieutenant Eren Yeager. I didn't think it was that hard of an order to follow." I stared up at Levi in shock, he was the one who ordered them to keep away from me.
" YOU CANT KEEP ME FROM HIM!" she screamed kicking Levi in the face. His eyes darkened as he rubbed the blood from his lip off glaring at her like he was about ready to kill her himself. As shocked as I was that she had hit him my mind couldn't stop trying to understand what he had just said.
"W-Why Levi..." he froze all his anger melting away the moment he turned his face to look at me his beautiful silver eyes confused.
"you wanted to isolate me... why? Even you think I am a monster don't you... Heh." I chuckled humorlessly.
"I should have known, im just the class experiment right? it doesn't matter what happens to Eren we will kill him after this is all over anyways isnt that right Captain Levi?" I shook my head clutching my chest not missing Mikasas smug smirk in Levis direction.
"I trusted you." I whimpered softly as he came to the bars rattling the rusted metal. I back out of his grasp. He gripped the bars tightly as he looked at me with his steely grey eyes so many different emotions flickering through them, he reached for me and I wanted nothing more than to run to him and take his outstretched hand in mine.
"Eren you know deep in your heart that isn't true." I shook my head wishing to believe him but instead I ended up backing away from him sliding to the floor as far from Levi as I could.
"GET THEM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND DON'T LET THEM COME BACK!" Levi screamed making me wince. The guards stuttered their apologies and took my only friends from the room. Levi reached in his jacket and removed the key to my cell. Why does he want to come in here? what more does he have to say... hes already agreed that he wanted to keep Armin and Mikasa away from me but why? I just don't understand it, I thought Levi understood me, was all a lie? Is Levi is just like everyone else who thinks im a monster.
"Eren... please you have to understand." Levi whispered as he entered the cell sitting in front of me. I just looked at the dirty floor remembering how much of a clean freak Levi is. I grabbed my blanket and set it on the floor and motioned for him to sit, he smiled gratefully as he sat on the blanket.
"I have my reasons for keeping them away Eren, you have to believe me." Levi spoke softly his voice serious slightly wavering as he addressed me.
"Then tell me Levi please explain, I want to understand." I begged taking his hands in mine, he looked away from me staring at anything but me. He's shutting me out and despite the fact that this has everything to do with me. I feel his hands slipping from my grasp as I pull away from him. Then just as I lose all hope of getting any closer to Levi my whole body goes into shock. Levi catches my hand pulling me closer, his other hand goes to my cheek his thumb running slowly over my lower lip. His silvery stormy eyes are conflicted, but just what are you thinking about captain? Unconsciously we're both leaning in, our lips so close to touching. I feel my face burn as his breath fans over my lips but I cant will myself to stop, slowly I feel my eyelids flutter shut. My breaths came quicker and my heart truly began to race as I squeezed my eyes shut expecting to feel his soft lips against that of my own.
"EREN! LEVI! ARE YOU DOWN HERE!" Hanjis voice echoes loudly through the dungeon and just like that the spell is broken Levis eyes snap open as do mine to see how close our lips were to touching. Our faces flush and Levi stands getting as far away from me as he can as he runs a hand through his raven hair. Hanji runs inside the room hands on her hips about to say something but she seems to lose her words as the tension between Levi and I thickens. Doing a quick scan of the room her eyes land on the blanket I had laid out in front of me for Levi. She stood staring between us curiously for a moment before her face morphs into a creepy grin.
"Oi, shit glasses why are you yelling! your giving me a headache." Levi groaned touching his forehead softly trying to get her mind off the subject.
"Im excited is all, today is Eren's day off, he gets the whole day to himself." Levis eyes widened then narrowed.
"Tch. You better watch him Hanji or I will personally rip your fucking throat out." He hissed before storming out of the dungeon. Hanji stared after him in shock, usually she had a comeback for every word that flew from the captains mouth but today she was dumbstruck.
"L-lets go Eren." she stuttered out forcing a smile back on to her face before offering me her hand leading me out of the dungeon.
"So Eren what do you want to do today. you can do anything you want as long as you don't turn into a titan." she grinned her good mood returning as she continued practically skipping beside me.
"I-I want to spend the day with Mikasa and Armin." she turned towards me biting her lip as she contemplated my request. Obviously Levi had given her the same order as everyone else.
"uh sure just don't tell shorty he'd get angry for sure, well angrier." Hanji said as she smirked lifting her hands behind her head as we walked to the dorms of the rest of the survey corps. I stretched my hands above my head as we finally reached Mikasas door.
"Eren I have some things I have to take care of. Don't go too far we don't want corporal grumpy to get his panties in a bunch if he finds out I left you alone." I nodded holding my hand over my mouth as I tried not to laugh at her comment. I smiled and waved as she walked away. Hanji was a great person talking to her always made me feel better about whatever was happening to me, she was always happy and nothing brought down her mood not even Levis mood swings. I slowly knocked three times on the door praying Levi hadnt gone too far by actually putting Mikasa and Armin in a dungeon for not listening to him.
"GO AWAY!" she screamed out making me flinch slightly but regardless I was relieved. I knocked again hearing something within her room crash before the door flew open.
"I TOLD YOU TO GO THE FUCK AWA... Eren..." Her eyes widened filling with tears once more, her arms wrapped around me tackling me to the ground. I held her tightly running my hands down her hair petting it slowly. When we were young this always seemed to calm her down from her tantrums and I was happy I could do something for her. Her body shuttered as she clung to me helplessly crying into my chest.
"Mika, its okay I promise im right here." she nodded slowly her face finding its way to the crook of my neck making me hold my breath.
"W-Where is Armin? I wanted to spend the day with both of you." I said sitting up and helping Mikasa up as well.
"Is your master going to allow us to?" I looked down at the ground unable to speak only feeling worse, she had no idea he really was my master.
"Im sorry, I didn't mean that im just really angry he tore us apart this morning, he didn't have the right." Mikasa said softly putting her hand on my cheek like Levi had done not too long ago. Her finger tracing my lip, but unlike it did with Levi this didn't feel right, no one would come here to stop her Mika from what she was about to do. Just like that Mikas mouth was on mine her arms on my neck. I didn't know how to react, I've never been kissed by anyone other than Levi before. I didn't fight it I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kissed her back with everything in me while wishing she was Levi. When we pulled away her eyes glittered happily but my heart was filling with shame. Why couldn't Captain Levi look at me this way?
"Lets go find Armin." she smiled as she helped me stand. She linked her arm through mine clinging to me tightly. We walked through the halls to Armins room like that. Mika knocked on his door and slowly his eyes brightened as he caught sight of me and Mika.
"EREN!" He cried his arms winding around my waist as I returned his hug. "Lets spend the day together Hanji gave me permission." He grinned as he ran in his room to grab his survey corps cloak and grabbed my other hand pulling me down the hallway with Mika in tow. We ended up with a small basket of food as we went to a small area away from the castle. We ate quietly looking at the beautiful sky as we all laid close together. We sat out there until the sky was darkening and it was almost time for me to go.
"Eren, I need to talk to you about something." Armin said softly as he sat up looking at Mika who had curled up on my chest finally being able to sleep comfortably.
"What is it?" I said petting Mikas hair as she unconsciously snuggled closer to me.
"I heard that someone told Pixis that Levi lost his memory." I felt my hands shake, who could have told him that?
"I have to tell the corporal immediately." Armin nodded his head as I slowly shook Mika awake making her eyes open slightly smiling to herself as she places a gentle kiss on my lips making Armin choke on his water.
"why didn't you tell me that you two... had..." Armin said his big blue eyes wide.
"it kinda just happened..." I said looking at Armin who nodded smiling happily.
"I will go to Levi and talk to him." Mika frowned shaking her head.
"let me go with you to Levi." she said staring at me with her puppy eyes.
"Mika you kicked him this morning theres a chance he might not want to hear what I have to say if he sees you." she pouted until Armin put a hand on her shoulder making her stand and nod.
"be careful Eren." she said placing one last kiss on my lips before we ran back to the castle. I made my way to Levis room and hoped that there was something he could do. I finally made it to Levis door knocking quietly on it hoping he was there.
"I swear if you still havent found him ill kill you shit glasses!" Levi hissed throwing the door open staring at me in shock.
"Eren... where have you been I told you to stay with Hanji!" he said glaring as he pulled me in his room and throwing me towards the couch. I fell against the couch with a thud as Levi stood over me glaring.
"Quit with the third degree and listen to me I have something important to tell you." he bit his lip his eyes darkening at my lack of respect towards him.
"Brat... speak before I punish you for your insolence." the way Levi said it was making shivers run down my spine.
"A-Armin, told me that someone told Pixis about your memory… sir." I added so he wouldn't be as angry and hopefully he wouldn't think to hard on when I spoke to Armin. "What?" Levi said as he grit his teeth.
"Armin told me that he heard someone talking to Pixis about it." his eyes widened as he thought about it. He didn't question it he just grabbed his cloak and pulled me outside of the overtly clean room to drag me back to the mess hall where Mikasa, Armin, Hanji and Erwin were eating.
Levi walked inside with me in tow glaring as he eyed Mikasa and Armin. The moment the captain let me go Mika already was clinging to me again like earlier. Levi was glaring at her but focused on the blond boy before him.
"What exactly makes you believe Pixis knows about my memory?" Armin fidgeted nervously as everyone awaited what he had to say.
"Im not positive but I did hear him speaking to a woman when I passed his room she told him that she heard you say outright you lost your memory." Levi paled and sat in a chair next to Erwin.
"who have you told?" The words are harsh when they leave my lips but I cant help but be angry that he trusted someone with that information. He shook his head covering his mouth with his hand trying to calm the panic attack im sure was about to ensue.
"N-no one, the only ones who knew are the ones standing inside this room." I feel Mikasa flinch slightly next to me, please, please tell me she didn't. I pulled my arm from her grasp and looked at her but she didn't meet my gaze.
"Who did you tell?" she shook her head without saying a word.
"Mikasa…. who was it you told?" I whispered as I cupped her face in my hands.
"Annie but that was a long time ago, around the time when it happened. She wouldn't betray me!" My jaw drops and I let my hands fall.
"You stupid fucking brat!" Levi growled grabbing Mikasa by the collar of her shirt.
"You realize them finding out about my memory doesn't affect me right? The only one it affects is Eren, if they prove I lost my memory they kill Eren!" Levi spat and Mikasas eyes widened as she started to cry.
"You and your petty jealousy over me may just be the reason Eren loses his life. But I wont allow that, ill run with Eren if that's what it takes." Levi says letting her go to take my hands in his.
"Pack your things, we need to get the fuck out of here." Levi says pulling me close.
"Levi you cant just do that!" Erwin growls slamming his hands on the table.
"Try me. I will kill anyone who gets in the way of me saving Eren." He says calmly staring Erwin down. Then we hear the screams and feel the rumbling, there is a titan here. With that distraction Levi books it I stumble forward as Levi drags me to his room packing everything in a bag with my clothes and his.
"Lets get the fuck out of here!" Levi commanded as we ran for where the horses were being held to see Hanji standing there with a horse already saddled up. "Goodbye you two, take care, ill miss you short stack, and you too my baby titan." Miss Hanji says giving us a quick hug before she runs out of there. Levi mounts the horse and I feel like my body is on auto pilot as I jump up on the horse grabbing Levis waist tightly as we take off in the direction farthest from the titan that had just gotten into the castle.
"Was this really the best idea corporal?" I can feel Levi trembling as we ride away.
"I don't care about the best idea or what's right and wrong. All I care about is saving you." Levi says gripping my hand around his waist. I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.
"I'm scared Levi, im so scared." he laced his fingers through mine making me lay my head on his shoulder.
"I will always be with you from here on out, I won't let anyone hurt you."