CHAPTER 11

James Barnes was laying on the couch in Stark's lab. Tony had begun letting move freely in and out of the lab between his living space, even when the genius wasn't around. He was careful not to touch anything though, first because he was sure he might hurt himself, and second he didn't want Tony to regret the trust he had begun to show him.

So he was laying on the couch, head hanging off upside down, reading the leather-bound copy of "Treasure Island" Tony had lent him to pass the time. He had never been much of a reader before, but he found it a wonderful escape these days. Safe in Tony's lab, he could still go on amazing adventures.

He heard the door to the lab hiss open and from his upside down vantage point he watched Tony walk into the lab. The man looked beyond exhausted.

"How are you feeling?" He piped up from the couch. "Fantastic." Came the monotone reply.

"You don't look fantastic." He pointed out. He knew he was pressing Tony's buttons. They had gotten really good at it after spending so much time together. Bucky really enjoyed Tony's company, it felt like a real friendship. Tony saw him exactly as he was, not as he remembered or wished he would be. It was refreshing.

"I don't recall asking you to look, Barnes." Came Tony's snappy retort.

Bucky just continued to stare at him. He could wait out Tony's attitude, it's not like he was going anywhere. He told him as much and Tony couldn't help but chuckle.

"Just tired. We had a late night last night and I woke up with sharpie all over my face, let me tell you how much of a bitch that was to scrub off, I took off the top 3 layers of my skin at least."

Bucky's face scrunched in confusion. "Sharpie?"

"Hmm?" Tony said absently. "Oh, marker."

"You drew on your own face?"

Tony looked affronted. "No, of course not. The kids did it after I fell asleep, the little demons." He searched his desk for one of the screwdriver heads he was missing.

"You have kids?"

Tony stopped suddenly and help very still before slowly turning to face Bucky on the couch. "Uh…No. No I don't." He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Damn, me and my big mouth."

Bucky quickly shook his head, "You don't need to tell me Tony…"

Tony sighed, "No, no, I think it's alright. Uh for the last few months the Compound has been home to Clint Barton and Scott Lang's families. Clint's wife, Laura, and their kids; Cooper, Lila, and Nathaniel. Scott's ex-wife Maggie and his daughter Cassie."

Bucky's eyebrows shot up at that. "They're here?"

Tony nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, uh, after everything went down, Ross wanted to go after them for leverage. I couldn't let that happen. I moved them somewhere safe far away for a while. I would have brought them here immediately, but I wasn't in a good place mentally or emotionally. I was drinking and smoking constantly. I may not be a great with responsibility, but I do know kids can't be around that." He was tinkering with a few gadgets on his desk while he spoke.

"Anyways, after I started cleaning up I realized that they would be safer and happier here. They've… well they've been something like my family ever since. I adore those little gremlins. Maggie and Laura are saints, I don't know how Clint or Scott were ever able to stand next to those women." He quirked a wry smile at Bucky.

"Anyways, they live upstairs in the penthouse with me. Peter visits a lot."

"Peter?"

"Yeah. Peter. You've already met him. Sometimes he likes to put on spandex and run around shooting webs at Super Soldiers."

"The Spider Kid?! That juvenile little shit laid me out and stuck my arms to the floor!"

Tony's face was absolutely glowing with pride. "Hell yeah he did. He's quite a kid. I'm sort of…mentoring…him? Its fairly new and I'm pretty sure I'm going to screw up royally."

Bucky shook his head vehemently, "No Tony, you'll be great. The kid is lucky to have you!"

Tony's smile grew as a blush rose on his cheeks. "I'm lucky to have them all. I don't know where I would be without them."

Bucky nodded at him, letting the subject go. "Tony?"

Tony looked up from the gadget again and answered, "Yeah?"

He chewed on his lip for a moment. "It's just…I'm not the Winter Soldier, but I'm also not Bucky, as much as I wish I could be for Stevie's sake. I just feel like I'm on a constant journey through confusion and anger and I don't know how to navigate my way?"

Tony's face softened, "Oh? Allow me to be your tour guide, I know all the best stops. The first stop is; you don't have to be anything for anyone other than yourself. You spent so long being "Bucky" for Rogers, and then even longer being "no one" for Hydra. Who do you want to be?"

He fumbled, "I…well, I-"

Tony interrupted his stuttering, "How about James? That's a good strong name, and one I would think you are at least a little familiar with?" He felt his smile stretch wide. "Yeah, I'd really like to be James again."

Tony nodded with a smile in return. "Well then, James, I'm absolutely starving, and there are some people upstairs I would like to introduce you to."

"Upstairs? You mean Nat?" He asked.

"No I don't mean Nat, knucklehead, although she might be up there too." James let a tentative smile slowly spread on his face. "Tony, are you saying I'm allowed to follow you upstairs?"

Tony turned an exasperated but knowing smile on him and began to walk away towards the doors, calling out, "FRI, baby, please take off the safely protocols keeping Sergeant Barnes confined to this floor. We're going to take a little field trip."

Tony and James began to become closer friends everyday. James gets along very well with everyone else, and with each BARF session they complete together, Tony can see James grow in persona and confidence.

James and Rhodey actually get along very well with their military background and shared tactical and strategic mindset. Pepper was frosty at first but began to warm up when she saw how much Tony relaxed in his presence.

They become especially close one Wednesday morning when Bucky is the only one home, eating cereal in the communal kitchen. He was startled out of his thoughts when FRIDAY's voice suddenly rang out.

"Sergeant Barnes, may I request your assistance in the penthouse?"

Confused, James set his spoon down. "Uh, the penthouse?"

"Correct, Sergeant, in Boss' room."

He had never been in Tony's bedroom, and he had never heard Tony's AI sound so nervous. "What's going on FRIDAY, you sound worried?"

"Please, Sergeant, Boss is in need of assistance. He is experiencing a panic attack. I would normally call on one of the others but there is no one else in the Compound right now."

James was out of his seat in an instant and running for the elevator. "Alright FRI, show me the way."

"Thank you, Sergeant." She sounded relieved.

FRIDAY flipped on lights as he moved forward, showing him the way to Tony's room. Reaching the end of a long hallway he came to a large white double door. He hesitated only momentarily his hands on the doorknob. "FRIDAY?" he called.

"Sergeant?"

"This panic attack, if it has to do with Siberia, my presence may make it worse."

"Boss' panic attacks are frequently about the bunker in Siberia, Sergeant Barnes. However, it is not you that hurts him in the memories. You will need to convince him he is home in the Compound and… and that Captain Rogers is not here."

James felt his heart seize at that. That knowledge would break Steve's heart. He took a breath and pushed open the doors.

The room was dark, windows blacked out, and James let his eyes adjust for a moment and strained his ears to pick up any noises. After surveying the room his eyes found Tony sitting on the floor of the bathroom, his knees drawn to his chest, elbows on this knees, his hands threaded through his hair clutching his head as he struggled to breathe.

James started toward him slowly, calling out his name softly so he didn't startle him.

"Tony?" A few steps closer. "Tony, its James." He lowered himself down to the floor and shuffled a little closer to the man. The only sounds were Tony's staggered and uneven breaths, desperately trying to gain some control over them. "Tony, you're home, at the Avengers Compound. It's me James. Maggie and Laura are out shopping with the kids, but they'll be home soon."

Carefully he reached out and put a gentle hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony nearly jumped out of his skin at the contact, his hands flying up to grip James' wrist. "Hey, hey, hey, its alright, it's just me, its just James."

"James?" Tony's voice was cracked and dry.

"Yeah, Tony, James Barnes. You're safe, you're with me."

Tony's eyes flashed suspiciously at him for a moment as he still gripped his wrist tightly. "Safe? Where the fuck is Rogers?"

Bucky tried to keep his face open and calm for Tony. "Steve Rogers isn't here. He's back in Wakanda, remember? It's just you and I. We're friends." He tired not to let the last part sound too much like a question. He thought they were friends, he considered Tony a friend, but he wasn't actually sure Tony felt the same. Stop it, he shook himself, this is not the time for friendship doubts, Tony needs you.

"Siberia." Tony said simply. James nodded, "I know, but you aren't there, you are home."

Tony released a breath and it came out as a small sob. Seeing Tony so broken, his kind eyes so unsure, made James feel a protectiveness he hadn't felt in years. It was like having Stevie back in front of him before the serum. Shifting closer, James enveloped Tony in a gentle but firm hug.

Tony's surprised hiccup at the contact was expected. What James didn't expect was for Tony's tense body to suddenly sag into his arms. "I'm-God, 'm so tired, James." He sniffed, "Can't sleep." He whispered.

"I know Tones," He used the nickname he had heard Rhodey use frequently, "I know you are. You're doing too much for everyone else. You gotta do somethin' for you sometimes, punk."

Tony's head shook against his shoulder, "Can't. Too much to do."

James pulled back slightly and gripped Tony's face in his hands, making him meet his direct gaze. "Tony, I don't think there is anything you can't do. You got too many people who care about you. Maggie and Laura are like mother hens. Those kids adore you, you've kept both families from falling apart without their dads. Peter worships the ground you walk on. Pepper, Rhodey, Nat, everyone. And now you have me."

Tony's tears slid down his cheeks silently and onto James' hands as he continued to hold his gaze. "And guess what pal? I'm with you, to the end of the line."

Tony sobbed at that as James pulled him into another tight hug.

They sat that way for another hour. Every now and then Tony would turn and James would rub soothing circles on his back while he dry heaves into the toilet bowl.

James helped Tony stand and walked him to his large bed. Pulling back the covers James helped him side under before tucking him in snugly. Tony was already drifting off when he called, "James?"

Turning back to Tony's side he leaned down to hear what the man had to say. Tony mumbled, "With you to the end of the line, too."