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He runs a finger across her cheekbone, watching her shiver slightly in response. It was a surprise to him how natural it felt to touch her and the way she held so still only made him want her in ways that went against everything he knew. He wondered if she was aware of her leaning into his touch, so responsive and sweet. Scorpius had seen her exchange with the Scamander boy, had seen the kiss he dared to place so close to her lips, lips that should only ever be taken with nothing short of passion. Scamander wasn't what she needed. He wasn't what she wanted.
"What do you want from me?" she asks him, wrapping her hand around his wrist and pulling away from his touch.
"I could ask you the same question," he replied. "I want to know what you've done to make me look back. Five years and now you've decided to ruin everything."
She broke away from their contact, walking to the small window and looking out to the late afternoon sun. "I know what I want…and I also know it isn't possible. What I want to know is what you gain from this?"
He was right, she was a very intelligent witch no matter her parentage or her age. She knew that anything between them would only lead down a path that neither could ever go. Lily had asked him what he gained and the truth was he honestly didn't know. Only days ago he was living the life society expected him to live, working under the Minister of Magic himself, and now all he could think of was her. A bloody Potter. Someone with Weasley blood running through her veins. He wanted to stop dreaming of his hands tangled within a river of red. Scorpius wanted his life back.
"It would be so easy for you," she whispered. "A young girl that's held a ridiculous crush on you for years. All you would have to do is give her hope and she'd forget everything, everyone. You could ruin her and simply walk away. It'd be the best revenge against us all."
Scorpius felt a sense of grief at her words. She expected him to play with her and after throw her away, but not before letting everyone know she'd given herself like a whore. He didn't know if he hated her for thinking him so evil or himself for almost carrying out that exact plan before he thought of Cassiopeia going through such humiliation.
"You think me that cruel?" he asked.
She let out a humorless laugh. "Have we ever given you a reason not to be?"
"You have."
Giving Pomme the rest of the apples and the letter for her parents, she looked up at Scorpius with a sadness on her delicate features. "Let me live in my dreamland, Scorpius," she pleaded softly, leaving him alone in silence.
His eyes following even when she was only a speck in the distance. There was a ridiculous moment where he actually thought of chasing after her, but he'd never stoop to that level. It was one thing to allow himself to think of Lily and another to chase after like Scamander and all the other idiotic boys after her. He was a Malfoy. He was heir to one of the oldest bloodlines. Scorpius didn't chase after silly girls. She wasn't a silly girl though. Lily was sweet and delicate, beautiful and fierce, and a thousand other things.
She'd pleaded for him to allow her to continue wanting him from afar. She didn't want to have him if he was only planning on playing with her, and it was best to pretend that only she felt something. It was easier to spare herself the heartache of being involved with him. Scorpius couldn't blame her.
Archimedes pecked at his hand gently, sensing something wrong with his master as he came to sit on the windowsill again. Running his hand over his soft feathers, Scorpius pushed away from the window and looked the eagle owl.
"It'd be too easy, Archimedes," he said, repeating her words.
No matter what way he looked, he'd be held responsible for getting involved with her. His own parents would look at him in disgust for touching someone of inferior status, and her family would think he passed her a love potion. She wasn't even seventeen yet, still a child. He could lose everything if she or her family said he'd force her into anything. No one would believe that she would willingly give him the time of day, no matter how willing she was.
On the other hand, he was good at keeping his secrets his. He was a Slytherin in all meaning of the title. Resourcefulness came like a second nature to him, and if he wanted to fuck the Potter girl or steal a few kisses he'd find a way to do so without anyone finding out. His family didn't keep him on a tight leash –trusting him to care for himself and make the right decisions – so he'd be able to indulge in whatever this would turn into. There was also the matter of her family...
The whole lot of them were always in each another's business and her brother watched her like a hawk, allowing her no space to do anything without them all knowing. He bet they'd be happy to know Scamander had asked her out to Hogsmeade, idiots. Scamander would probably take her to all those silly little places in the village, buying her sweets and hoping to do more than just some hand holding. Scorpius couldn't even think of the boy rubbing his greedy hands over her without gagging. Lily didn't need frilly little hearts or to be taken to Madam Puddifoots like all the other wishful girls. She deserved more than just tea at some overly pink shop.
"What do you think, Archimedes?" Scorpius consulted the owl as if it were a human being. "Do you like Lily?"
Archimedes hooted in affirmation, showing him the leftover apple piece he was still working on. It was obvious Lily had not only earned his attentions, but also of the vain owl.
Rubbing a finger over his lips thoughtfully, Scorpius chose to give in. First he'd have to get her away from Scamander…
"Spill!" Alice shrieked, slamming the door shut to hers and Lily's dorm and climbing onto the redhead's bed.
Lily looked up from her potion's homework and to the smiling brunette. For a moment she feared Alice had seen her talking to Scorpius, but surely if she had she wouldn't be smiling like a cat that had just eaten a canary.
"What are you going on about now?" Lily asked, her eyes returning to her work.
"Don't play dumb, Lily Luna Potter. I heard from a reliable source that you were asked out to Hogsmeade by one Mr. Lysander Newt Scamander," Alice said with impatience.
"Oh, that. He asked me after Herbology," she shrugged.
Alice bounced on the bed in excitement almost tipping over Lily's ink on her work. "Details, Lily!"
Knowing she wouldn't get any more work done with Alice pestering her, Lily closed her books and put her things away, giving her full attention. "There isn't much to say. It wasn't anything special and it's not like we haven't ever gone to Hogsmeade together."
With a roll of her eyes, Alice jumped off the bed and opened Lily's closet. "We need to find you something to where," she murmured as she began putting together outfits.
"I think pants and a blouse will do, Alice."
Alice turned to Lily, looking like she had just eaten a vomit flavored bean. "Lily, this isn't just some normal day out with friends. Lysander has finally asked you out! This could possibly be the first date with your future husband."
Now it was Lily's turn to feel as if she had tasted something bad. She loved Lysander, but not in the way everyone expected her to. He was her friend. Merlin, he was practically her brother. She suddenly wished she hadn't agreed to this.
"I bet he'll take you to Madame Puddifoots," Alice went on. "What do you think of this dress?"
Lily lifted her head from the bed, glancing at the floral dress in her friend's hand. "It's pretty…"
"You're right. I'm thinking something a bit skimpier," Alice said at seeing Lily's disinterest.
"Alice! You can't have me looking like some tart," she looked appalled.
Ignoring her, Alice pushed clothing out of the way and continued murmuring to herself of having to take Lily shopping for something sexier. "As your best friend it's my responsibility to make you look good Lils. What if things get hot?"
Lily blushed a scarlet red. "Things will not be getting hot or anything of the sort," she glared.
"A few firewhisky infused chocolates and you'll be dancing to a different tune my friend. Besides, aren't you in the least bit curious?"
"Curious about what?"
Alice gave her a weird look and waved her hand in front of her. "You know," she laughed nervously before lowering her voice as if she were to be heard. "Sex."
Lily's eyes widened and if she hadn't already been blushing after Alice's earlier comments, she'd rival a tomatoes fine coloring. This was not a conversation she wanted to have even with her best friend. She felt like she should wash out Alice's mouth and then run off to confess her sins in one of those muggle worshiping places.
"We shouldn't be talking about something like that," she said in a firm voice or as firm as she could in this type of situation.
"Come on, Lils. We're fifteen for Merlin's sake. Aren't our mothers always going on about hormones and whatnot?"
"Please stop," Lily begged and covered her face with one of her many pillows.
Pulling the pillow away from her face, Alice sat next to her again and ran her hand over the canopy curtains. "What do you think it feels like?" she asked, sounding shyer than ever.
Lily closed her eyes and pretended to ignore her, but the question still danced through her own head. Hadn't she asked herself what it would feel like being with Scorpius only a few nights ago? She'd heard so many stories on the matter from various girls, and it had only driven her curiosity even more. When Dominique had slept with her boyfriend for the first time all of Lily's older cousins had made a huge deal, calling for a sleepover where they wanted a play by play. Lily hadn't been allowed in the room, but she had listened in with one of her Uncle George's famous extendable ears, and when the giggles had ended and it was time for dinner Lily wasn't able to look at Dominique without going red.
"I've heard a few girls say Albus is amazing –"
"Ew! Don't you dare finish that sentence," Lily cut her off. Her face scrunching up as if she'd bit into something sour.
"I've also heard the same about Malfoy," Alice said while looking at her nails.
Lily had heard that too. Eleanor Pataki of Ravenclaw had said as much last year after her night with Scorpius. The girl had bragged about the night of passion until Scorpius silenced her with the same cold shoulder he gave to most of his conquests.
"I think it's time for bed," Lily said as she pulled the covers around her, turning to her side and pushing her face into the pillow.
"You should give Lysander a chance Lils," Alice pushed off from the bed. "At least he won't give you the cold shoulder after he gets what he wants."
Lily dug her fingers into the pillow, closing her eyes tightly. "Goodnight Alice."
"Sweet dreams, Lils."
As Alice grabbed her things to take a shower, Lily lay in bed thinking of what she had said. She tried picturing herself with Lysander, him kissing her and running his hands over her but it only made her shiver in fear. She couldn't give herself to someone she didn't want. It was one thing for people to expect her to become an Auror or for them to demand her loyalty against the Slytherins, but no one had a say when it came to her innocence. She wouldn't allow herself to feel pressured just because Lysander was a nice guy or because her family adored him. If Lily wanted him to be her first then she'd let him, but it would be on her terms and by her decision.
Lysander would have to understand that for now all she wanted was his friendship and it was best to keep their outing to Hogsmeade a private matter. She didn't need all of Hogwarts finding out or worst of all her family.
Sadly, Lily was used to not getting her way. By morning it seemed the whole school new she and Lysander were straying from the friend zone and onto a whole new territory. She had spent the entire morning dodging her family whom all seemed to want details or in Hugo's case just made annoying kissing faces. After a dreadful lecture on the merits of Muggle communication and transportation, Lily had a plan to just hide out in Hagrid's hut until dinnertime. Surely he wouldn't give a care who she was seeing, right?
"Lily!" Albus shouted as he ran up to her.
"What can I do for you brother dearest?" she asked him, continuing towards the friendly hut.
"I hear you and Lysander are an item. Is it true?" he questioned, fixing the strap of his messenger bag.
Lily stopped walking. Her feet practically screeching against the stone ground. "Not you too," she cried out.
"I heard it from Rose so kill her if you must," he defended himself.
"We're just going to Hogsmeade like we always do! What's so special about it now?"
"The fact that Lorcan and Alice weren't invited to this outing doesn't ring a bell?" Albus faced her.
"It was Lysander's idea go harass him," she pouted.
Albus gave her a soft smile, wrapping a long arm around her slender shoulders. "It's okay, Lil," he said gently.
"What's okay?" she looked up at him.
"You having feelings for Lysander."
Her face went ghost white. She couldn't believe Albus of all people wanted to talk feelings with her or more like the feelings she didn't feel.
"Excuse me?"
Albus' smile only grew. "I know James and I haven't made it easy for you to date," he made a face around the word, "but Lysander is a good guy. If you have to go out with some brainless moron at least it's him."
Of course he approved of Lysander. The Ravenclaw was a family friend, sweet and smart, and not at all what Lily wanted.
"Al, I'm glad you've finally decided to notice I've grown up and that I can handle dating, but –"
"I can deal with you dating Scamander, Lily. You dating in general not so much," he shook his head at her.
Of all the times for Albus to not forbid her something, ugh!
"Albus, listen –"
He held up his hand. "I don't need you to thank me, Lily. I know this is your real first date and you're probably really nervous, so I promise not to get in the way. I just want you to be safe…"
Lily felt her heart swell with emotion at his words even if he was doing a horrible job at listening to her.
"He's a guy Lily. Just because he looks sweet doesn't mean he isn't above sex…"
And the moment was effectively ruined.
"WHAT!" she shouted, looking appalled at hearing him say such a word to her.
"You both are fifteen and the hormones are raging if you guys are anything like I was at your age," he said as if speaking about the weather and not actually giving his sister the talk.
"Please stop," she begged.
"I'm not an idiot to not see you've matured into a nice young lady, but I want you to know that sex is a big step in a relationship. A little heavy touching is one thing and it may feel good in all your bits and places," he blushed at his words, but continued against Lily's look of mortification.
"Merlin, please stop."
"But you don't have to actually go through with it just because things turn up a bit, okay?"
"Please kill me," she gagged, looking anywhere but at him.
"I think I've said all I had to," he nodded to himself, sounding quite proud. "Just one last piece of advice, yeah."
"If it's not about a memory charm on how to erase these last minutes I don't want to hear it."
"Use protection."
"This can't be happening," Lily cried into her hands.
"You're excellent at potions from what I hear so it'll be easy to brew up a contraceptive syrup."
"Why do you hate me?"
"Okay, I'm done." He placed an awkward kiss against her flaming cheek. "I'll see you later."
Lily didn't know whether to laugh or cry at what just happened. This had to be the most humiliating thing she had ever experienced. Having Albus give her the talk was like her Grandpa Arthur giving her the talk! At least no one had heard them.
"Would you like me to finish giving you the talk," a voice purred in her ear.
Not him. Please not him.
"I think he missed a few things," Scorpius said with absolute amusement.
Spinning on her heel, Lily glared up at the laughing blond. "What gives you the right to be listening in on conversations?"
"Do you think he can help me give my sister the sex talk when she's older? He's quite brilliant at it. I especially loved the part about your bits," he looked her up and down.
"Bugger off," she snapped.
His shoulders shook with laughter. It was obvious he was finding her humiliation hilarious, but she would not give into his teasing.
With a final glare, she strutted off to Hagrid's hut with her head held high until he called out to her in a sweet voice. Too sweet of a voice.
"What?" Lily growled.
"I just had a question," he held up his good hand in mock surrender.
Her shoulders dropped tiredly. "What?" she asked in a softer tone than before.
"It's just…" he dropped his voice to a whisper, looking a bit shy. "It's just I've been feeling some strange things in my bits do you think it's the raging hormones."
Lily's jaw clenched, her face reminding him of Rose Weasley when she was ready to throw one hell of a fit but more attractive of course. However, no tantrum came as he expected. She controlled her temper and looked her usually calm self as she walked up to him. His eyelids lowered as he watched her strut up to him, her slender hips swaying with enticement. Scorpius watched in surprise as she grew closer to him, her shyness nowhere in sight. He was too enraptured by this new attitude he didn't notice her small foot coming down against his own until her heel dug into him.
"Are you mad!" he cried out in shock.
Giving a little huff, she turned to leave without so much as a response until she felt him take her arm and force her back to him.
"Oh!" she exclaimed as he pushed her into the side of his body. Her breathing labored at his nearness and even more so when his lips came much too close to her own. For a moment she thought he'd kiss her. She wished that he would. He didn't. When his lips were only a breath away he moved them to her ear.
"Do yourself a favor Lily and spare Scamander the heartache. You and I both know it isn't a boy you want nor need," he placed a tender kiss against her ear.
He was being cruel. There was no other explanation towards his advancements.
"I have to go," she said, fleeing as quickly as possible.
But Merlin surely had it after her. She hadn't even made it a foot when Lysander popped right in with his sweet smile and caring eyes, bringing a halt to her escape.
"Do you have a minute?" he asked, giving a curious glance at Scorpius before looking down at the petite witch in front of him.
Lily nodded and tried not to pay any attention to Scorpius' eyes on her and Lysander. He had no right to make her feel uncomfortable. She didn't need to hide from him.
"I'm sorry if everyone found out about us going to Hogsmeade together. I only told Lorcan, but you know how easy gossip spreads here," he apologized.
"About Hogsmeade Lysander," Lily tried finding her voice. She couldn't allow Lysander to get his hopes up like this and it had nothing to do with Scorpius. Nothing at all. She just didn't want to lose one of her best friends over something like this.
"You don't want to go," he finished for her in a deflated tone.
"I just…"
She couldn't do it. She couldn't hurt him when Scorpius was watching. She couldn't do it all. Lily wasn't brave. She wasn't a real Gryffindor.
"I was just thinking if you'd like to go to Madam Puddifoots instead of the Three Broomsticks?" she asked on the spot.
He let out a relieved laugh, nodding his head. "Madam Puddifoots it is."
"Great," she said forcefully and biting the inside of her cheek, tasting blood.
"Scamander," Scorpius called to the younger boy.
"Malfoy?" Lysander replied in his polite voice.
"Someone told me Moaning Myrtle was going into the Prefect bath again. Do me a favor and have a look," he commanded.
"Can't someone else do it? I promised Lily I'd help her study."
Lily didn't need to look at Scorpius to know he was shooting daggers at Lysander with his eyes. When Scorpius Malfoy asked you to do something it wasn't a question.
"I'm sure Lily will survive a few minutes without you. However, if you really don't want to go I could just do it myself and dock points from Ravenclaw for not doing as was asked."
Lysander held back his tongue, not wanting a fight with the Head Boy or ruining Ravenclaws chance at the house cup. "I'll go," he said. "We can study after dinner, Lily."
She nodded as he gave her a tight smile.
"While you're at it Scamander I want you to check every hall for pixies. One of the first years thought it'd be funny to let them out," Scorpius drawled.
Lily watched Lysander's back tense before he continued walking back into the castle. She finally looked at Scorpius who didn't seem at all bothered by what he had done as he leaned against a pillar.
"That was mean," she said through clenched teeth.
"It was, wasn't it? You should take some pointers," he smirked. "If you fall for his wet puppy look every time you might as well start calling yourself Mrs. Scamander."
"I didn't fall for anything."
"I beg to differ, Mrs. Scamander."
Her chest rose up and down dramatically as she held back her anger. Anger at him. Anger at Lysander. Anger at herself.
"Do we not like the truth? I'll play nice when you stop playing the fool, but until then I do hope you have a pleasant evening Mrs. Scamander."
Mrs. Scamander. Lily Scamander. Lily Luna Scamander.
The name did nothing for her. It didn't make her heart flutter or her legs tremble. It only made her feel caged.
"You look gorgeous Mrs. Lysander Scamander," Alice told her a week later as she zipped Lily into a pretty white dress with butterflies printed about.
"Don't call me that," Lily said for what seemed to be the hundredth time. "I still don't see why I can't just wear something less dressy."
"Because Lysander has already seen you in your normal clothes before," Alice replied, slapping away Lily's hand from her newly curled locks. "Don't touch. It took me hours to perfect this curling charm."
Lily glared at her reflection. "I look like an oversized doll."
"You look sexy. There's equal amounts of innocence and wanton."
"I think you've been reading too many of those romance novels," Lily muttered as she dotted her favorite rose scented perfume on her neck.
"You'll thank me when you and Lysander are in the throes of the passion," Alice teased, barley dodging Lily's hairbrush.
"Don't start, Longbottom. One more word from you and I'll pretend I have the flu."
"And break Lysander's heart? I don't think so."
Lily pulled her lips over her teeth, knowing Alice had won. Lysander deserved a chance and she'd give this day her all. Lily would try her hardest.
"Smile!" Roxie shouted as a white flash blinded Lily.
"Merlin, Roxie," she pressed a hand to her eyes, rubbing away the discomfort.
"Our little Lily flower is all grown up," Fred cooed, pulling Lily into his side.
Pushing him away, Lily glared at the twins. "You guys are mad. What's with the camera?"
"Taking photographic evidence of our baby cousin's first date," Roxie answered.
"You guys do realize I've already been on a date before, right?" Lily arched a brow.
Hugo walked up to them, stuffing his face with a chocolate concoction. "Third year doesn't count, Lil. No one even remembers who you went out with," he said.
"Was it Nickolas?" Roxie asked.
"No, no. I think his name was Stephan…" Fred said, looking up thoughtfully.
"You're both wrong," Hugo interrupted. "His name was Philip."
Lily shook her head at them as they continued their guessing game, and followed the rest of the Gryffindors out to the courtyard where Professor Flitwick was collecting permission slips. As she handed in her own slip, Lysander – looking quite dashing – came to her side, handing her a pink lily.
The witch felt herself cringe at the flower. "Thank you. It's lovely," she lied.
"You look very pretty," he told her.
"Thank you," she said again, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable at the closeness between them. "Should we get going?"
"Certainly," he offered his arm, leading her to the village down below.
The two strolled through their usual spots in Hogsmeade, buying sweets and a few trinkets here and there, looking the part of two friends trying to test new waters. Although if anyone were to be more observant they'd see the tenseness in Lily's smile or the way kept searching for Lorcan and Alice to interrupt them. She even wished Albus would make himself useful and ruin the day, but none of that happened. All too soon she was being pulled into Madam Puddifoots where she spotted couples kissing or holding hands as they talked over a cup of tea.
"What can I get you m'dears?" Madam Puddifoot asked as Lysander helped Lily into a chair.
"Lancashire tea, please," Lysander answered before turning to Lily. "And orange blossom tea for the lady. It's your favorite, isn't?"
Lily nodded. "It is."
He smiled as Madame Puddifoot hurried to get their drinks, a tray of bitesize cakes appearing before them.
Lily looked around the place, ignoring that little voice in her head that repeated to her how perfect Lysander was for her. He already knew everything about her, but then again most people knew everything there was to know about her. Lysander only saw what everyone else did.
"Lily?" he spoke softly to her.
"Yes?" she turned away from the massive cherub painting that adorned the center of the room.
"Thank you for agreeing to this," he started. "I know you just see me as a friend, but Lily you have to know that I feel something much different to that."
Please don't let him say it.
"I won't say it, at least not now."
Thank Merlin.
"I just want you to know that I won't stop trying."
She couldn't listen anymore. Her attention was stolen in the only way Scorpius knew how. As Lysander continued his passionate speech, Scorpius and Heloise entered the pink shop arm in arm. The two looked completely out of place with their dark attire and their obvious elegance as they sat almost too close to where Lily and Lysander had been seated.
What was he doing here of all places? Somehow Lily didn't think he fancied a cup of tea in the frilly shop over his reputation. Not once had she seen him nor any Slytherin so much as give a glance to Madam Puddifoots. He had to have done this on purpose. He had obviously heard her telling Lysander she wanted the quaintness of Puddifoots over the loudness of the Three Broomsticks.
"Never thought I'd see a Slytherin in here let alone two of them," Lysander said when he noticed where her attention had gone.
"Hmm." Lily tried forcing herself to look away, but not even when her tea was place in front of her could she turn from the pair. They looked quite perfect together. Heloise Belizaire was an obvious beauty with enticing features and while Lily was far from ugly it didn't stop her from feeling a bit self-conscious.
"Lily," Lysander asked for her attention once more.
"Sorry," she gave him an apologetic look. "I've just been thinking about that Defense exam we took. Something tells me I failed."
Lysander didn't look too convinced by her statement, but chose to ignore it for both their sakes.
"No, I'm sorry. That wasn't what I was thinking at all," she picked at a tart. "It's just…what do you want to do after Hogwarts?"
"You already know I want to be a healer," he said giving her a confused look.
"I don't mean just career choices. Don't you want to just get away for a bit?"
"Like a vacation?"
She shrugged. "Aren't you tired of what people expect you to be? Your dad was always telling you that you were his little healer growing up. Is that what you really want to do?"
"I've always liked helping people," he said thoughtfully. "I know it'll be a lot of work once I get into the training program, but it'll be worth it in the end. Sure my dad has something to do with my choice, but isn't it always like that? We end up doing what we know, what's safe."
He didn't understand. His answer was generic. Expected. He didn't challenge her or her way of thinking. Sitting there with him in a tea shop filled with couples she couldn't feel more out of place. It wasn't just because the person that did make her see the world in a whole other setting was sitting only a few tables away with a girl that belonged, but because Lily just couldn't find where she fit in. Everything always seemed to be out of reach.
"Do you mind if we leave?" she asked him. "I don't know about you but I can't even hear myself thinking in this place."
"Sure," he said, throwing a sickle onto the table.
When he made to grab her hand, she instead took his arm as before, no longer having the will to play pretend. Lysander deserved more. She couldn't give him that. He couldn't give her that either. The one person that she knew truly could was the one person she wasn't allowed to want.
Somewhere inside him, Lysander saw that as well. Yet a man that gave up before even fighting the battles got what he deserved. He was observant enough to have taken notice of the glances Scorpius had shot at him and Lily, and worst of all the way Lily's demeanor had changed the moment the Slytherin had stepped through the door.
"Are you alright?" Lily asked Lysander when he'd suddenly gone awfully quiet.
"Just lost in thought," he looked down at her. "Would you like an ice cream? Much more us don't you think?"
"I'd like that," she gave a more natural smile.
Neither one noticing the silver eyes that followed them as they passed the arched window of Madam Puddifoots.
"Tell me everything!" Alice bounced through the door, flinging a bag from Honeydukes onto her unmade bed.
"It was nice," Lily said as she continued brushing out her hair.
"Potter you better give me more than that!"
Letting her still curled hair fall around her shoulders, she leaned against her small vanity. "We had a good time. We went to Madam Puddifoots but you know how crowded that place gets, so we ended up having ice cream. Lots of talking and before you ask things didn't get hot."
Alice scrunched up her face. "That's it? He didn't kiss you or feel up a bit?"
"Alice! This is Lysander you're talking about. He was a total gentleman," Lily told her before turning back to face the mirror, washing off the last remnants of her light makeup.
"Well that's just boring, but you're right. Can't say I expected much of Lysander," Alice said around a piece of chocolate.
"Sorry to disappoint. How was your day?"
"I spent the whole day with Lorcan," she replied. "You know how that goes."
"You guys should just snog already," Lily teased while using the same words Alice had when she had spoken of her and Lysander.
"Ew! We most certainly will not," Alice pretended to vomit. "He's a boring, pompous, stick up his arse jerk."
"You know what they say about love and hate," Lily laughed.
"Oh shut it you brat!"
"Don't like it when the tables are turned, do yah?"
"Bitch," Alice glared, throwing a hard candy at Lily's head.
"No need for name calling," she laughed, catching the candy and taking a bite.
"Albus was with that Bellini girl again. I honestly don't know what he sees in her besides her big knockers."
"She seems like a nice girl, but knowing Albus it won't last."
"A nice girl? She passed Richard Greivis a love potion back in fourth year," Alice scoffed. "Do you think she did that to Albus?"
"Albus doesn't need a love potion, Aly. He's brainless enough without it."
"Well she did something to get his attention."
"Must be the knockers," Lily laughed. "Although I heard she takes enhancement potions."
"I knew it!" Alice jumped off the bed. "I knew there was no way she'd get all that in a single year."
Lily sat on the bed, crossing her legs and rubbing lotion on her arms. "You didn't hear it from me. Last thing I need is Bellini coming after me for telling you she has an over padded bra."
"My lips are sealed," Alice raised up her hand in promise. "Is that the nightdress you bought in Twilfitt and Tattings?"
Lily nodded, running a hand over the silky material. She had purchased it during the summer when she was able to get away from mother's watchful eye. The nightdress had cost her almost three months of allowance but it made her feel like a woman and less of a child.
"I told you it was worth all that money," Alice praised. "You actually have boobs? Damn Potter where have you been hiding those?"
"You're horrible," she blushed and looked down at the deep V-neck of the gown. "It was almost impossible to hide this from my mum."
"You wouldn't have to hide it if she'd just see that you've outgrown the pigtails and frilly dresses," Alice pointed out, taking the matching robe and wrapping it around her shoulders, striking a pose like the ones in those magazines Dominique was always reading.
Lily laughed at the silly faces Alice made, taking the robe back and gently placing it at her side.
"I wish I could stick around, but I have prefect duty tonight."
"Have fun," Lily waved.
"Two hours of walking around the halls aimlessly with Lorcan, yeah, I'm sure I'll have fun."
"I hear the classrooms on the fourth floor are just perfect if you want to sneak away for a good snog," Lily said innocently.
"Fuck you Potter."
With a smile Lily moved onto her stomach, crossing her ankles as she began her nightly doodles until both Alice and her other two roommates came back to the room hours later. Like the previous nights before sleep didn't come to her no matter how hard she tried, tossing and turning to the point where Alice hissed at her to place a silencing charm.
Climbing out of bed, she walked out of the room and out of Gryffindor Tower, careful to not be caught by Filch. She made her way up the steps leading to the Astronomy Tower where she'd get the fresh air she needed. When she stepped into the breezy night, Lily was surprised to see she wasn't the only sleepless person with the same idea to visit the tower. Standing with his back to her was Scorpius. He hadn't noticed her presence or at least didn't give a sign that he had as he stared up at the bright stars.
"Stay," he ordered when she made to sneak away.
"I don't want to disturb you," she said softly.
"You're already here," he quipped.
She scowled at his back. "I could leave."
"I don't want you to."
Her face softened and she slowly walked to his side, standing only a few inches from him. He didn't take his eyes away from the stars, searching them as if waiting for a reply to an unspoken question.
"When I was a child my Grandmother Cissy used to take me into the gardens and we'd stare up at the stars for hours. She'd make me name as many as possible, and if I named them correctly she'd give me a treat," he told her.
"I can't imagine a woman like Narcissa Malfoy gazing at the stars," she murmured.
"You'd be surprised," he finally turned to her. "Why are you out so late? Don't you know its past curfew?''
"Couldn't sleep."
He bent over the railing, looking out to the vast mountain range. "Too excited about your little date with Scamander?"
"What were you doing at Puddifoots?" she ignored his jab.
"Am I not allowed to enjoy a cup of tea?"
"You nor Belizaire seem like the kind to enjoy a place like that," her lips curled around the Slytherin girl's name.
"Are we jealous?"
"Says the person that has now decided to stalk me."
He gave a throaty laugh at that. "Stock you? Please."
"Am I wrong?"
He closed his eyes tightly, his jaw clenched, as he appeared to be fighting himself. "He doesn't know you,'' he said. "Not really."
"And you do?" she wondered.
"I know enough," he affirmed. "If you really wanted him you wouldn't be out here hoping another man would kiss you."
She pulled away in an instant not having noticed how close they had suddenly become. "You're wrong," she shot back.
"I'm not, but if it makes you feel better…"
Lily ignored him and looked up at the sky. She shouldn't be out here with him. Shouldn't be out with a man when she was wearing less than nothing. Bloody hell she hadn't realized how cold it'd be out here. In her rush she'd forgotten all about the matching robe. She hoped her body hadn't given away how cold it was getting. With a glance at her body, Lily quickly pressed her arms close to her chest, hiding the small peaks that formed. Maybe he hadn't noticed.
"Cold?" he chuckled.
He had.
She felt a sudden warmth engulf her alongside his alluring scent of cologne and pine. He'd given her his jacket, the dark color of it standing out against her fair skin and red hair.
"Thank you," she whispered timidly.
He played with one of the buttons on the jacket before he looked up again. "Do you have a favorite star?" he asked suddenly.
Feeling a sense of whiplash at his sudden change of topics, she looked at the sky and tried to remember what little she could of Astronomy.
"Altair,'' she replied after having found the brightest star.
He nodded as if considering the star. "The twelfth brightest star in the sky," he murmured.
"One of the harder ones to find but worth the search," she said. "I should go."
"You should," he agreed. "But it's not what we both want is it?"
He pulled her ever so slightly into his body, careful to not hurt his still bandaged arm, and gently placed his hand behind her neck. She felt the weight of his forehead against her own and for a moment they shared the same breath back and forth. And when his lips finally bridged the last nit of distance between them, it felt like the end of a kiss rather than the beginning.
Lily closed her eyes. She let the world contract to the unbearable softness brushing against her lips and the feel of his hand tangling within hair, pulling at it gently. She wouldn't remember anything before that moment, and she wouldn't think about the future. She wouldn't think about her family or his. She wouldn't think – she would only feel. She would shut everything out and let him in. The taste of him and the warmth of his mouth.
His mouth claiming hers in a tender kiss. His lips, ranging over hers in a series of slow, teasing tastes. She pressed her body against his solid chest, burrowing closer, nestling into his strength and warmth. He groaned against her mouth and tore his lips from hers.
Lily kept her eyes shut tight. She didn't need to see him. She didn't want to wake up and find him gone. She could feel him looking down at her, the heat of his gaze wandering over her closed eyes, her flushed face, the hollow of her throat where her quickened pulse beat. She kept her eyes shut tight and lips slightly parted, and she waited. Because she knew he would come back.
He did. And this time there was nothing gentle or tender about it. He pressed himself against her, pushing her against the stone railing until it bit into her flesh. His lips claimed her in a scorching embrace. He forced her to surrender to him again and again, stealing her breath, stealing her very presence of mind. When he'd finally had enough and her lips were pink and swollen, he placed a soft kiss on her brow.
"What did you do?" she asked when he said nothing.
He lowered his head to rest his brow against hers. "I don't know."
A part of Lily wanted to run and hide. Pretend nothing had happened. Be the daughter she was expected to be. She had no right to wrap her arms around him and press her face into his chest, inhaling his very essence.
"How cliché," he kissed the top of her head. "A kiss under the stars. Tell me that wasn't your first."
"You're not very romantic are you?" she mumbled.
"If you want hearts and flowers you'd be better off with Scamander."
"Should I go?" she asked but didn't make to pull away.
"Do you want to?"
She shook her head, hugging him tighter. "No."
"Good. I don't want you to go either."