I'm back! I am soooo sorry about this but as I said earlier, I had MAJOR writer's block. Now I have an idea for this chapter and things may be better! I'd like to thank my AWESOME reviewers from both chapter 10 and chapter 11: Emaline, Random Reviewer (Short I know….but I was on the verge of my writer's block…hope this one is better!), Alexis Taylor (How many times did you review? You are on the fav readers list!), Fanglover911, vampiressincognito, and Bokaholic06!

I'd like to send a special shout out to Bookaholic06 because I got the idea from YOUR review! It's a bit different and I'm not at all sure how it's going to turn out but we'll see!

Dear Fang,

It seems like eons have passed since the last time I wrote in this journal. It's funny how time plays tricks on a person. Right after you left it seemed like it was I could do to get through the day, days weren't endless they were just the same things over and over again. I'd wake up in the morning thinking of you, fill the hours of the day trying to do anything that would keep you off of my mind (and avoiding everything that would remind me of you), then go to bed and dream of you. But now it seems like that there isn't anything left. I told you that when Angel turned 18 I was going to leave the Flock and set off after you. Well, needless to say I didn't…the Flock kind of split up but I'll explain that later. Back to the part where I tell you that I'm not coming after you…why you ask? Well it just felts like I never even knew you, like the only things left that showed how much I loved you is the memories of heaven we had and the burn of hell that followed after. But after what happened yesterday I just can't stand another heart break...and now I think I might understand you just a little bit better.

For you to understand what happened yesterday, I'll have to explain about the Flock's break up. We didn't have a huge fight, I know the exact latitude and longitude of where they are and I just talked to them all about an hour and a half ago. And I see them often enough that they are all still on my nerves…along with the Voice…but I really don't want to be thinking about HIM right now. But anyways, we just decided that we were all adults (Even though some of us don't act that way *cough* Iggy and Gazzy *cough*) and we wanted to try living our own lives. Iggy and Gazzy share an apartment just outside downtown LA (Gazzy is in the computer software business and Iggy has his own series of cookbooks that Nudge is helping him publish) and Nudge and Angel are still at the E shaped house but Nudge spends a lot of time in LA (With Iggy and working on her clothing line) and Angel is at Oregon State majoring in Design…of what I don't know but it's designing something.

And me well, I'm just kind of drifting. Right now I'm in Huston, Texas and until yesterday I was working at this bar down town. And yesterday was karaoke night and we had a massive crowd, like HUGE! Karaoke night means lots of tips but also lots of drunks and people who think that they can sing but they really can't. Like at all. Like they make-me-sound-like-Taylor-Swift-they-sing-so-badly bad.

It was about 10 minutes until I got off and I was cleaning up behind the bar when I hear the crowd start really cheering loud. I look up and almost died right there on the spot. You were standing on the stage, wearing a well worn pair of Levi's and a black t-shirt and a pair of scuffed up cowboy boots. I stood there gaping and then the music started, a short instrumental (You were kind of blushing), then the words started and you looked up at the crowd and started sing in the sweetest voice that I'd ever heard and the saddest song I'd ever heard to top it off,

You look so peaceful sleepin',
You don't know that I'm leaving, but I'm gone.
Well I did my best to beat 'em, but in my head, the demon said, move on.
You wake up your gonna curse my name.
But as some time goes by I hope and pray.

When you think of me,
Remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.

I think about the night I met you, I swore I'd never forget you, well I won't.
I think about the way you'll live and breath,
Inside my dreams forever.
You'll be better when I'm gone, you'll be better when I'm gone.
Cause I know your gonna fall in love again.
I'm sorry this is how it has to end.

But when you think of me, remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.
Oh, when you think of me.

As I pick up these bags and turn around
I say a little prayer and hope somehow.

When you think of me, remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.

When you think of me, remember the way that I used to be.
Remember the times I held you tenderly.
Remember the way that I loved you.

Oh, when you think of me, when you think of me
When you think of me, when you think of me.

After you stopped you gave this really sweet smile to the crowd as they cheered (I got the impression that you had been there before) then you left the stage and disappeared into the crowd.

I of course ran after you. You were surrounded by a bunch of people begging you to sing again and they all looked at me as I pushed through to get to you. "Fang?" I said and you looked at me and said "Do I know you?"

That was when I realized that you were actually a he and I had just made a major fool of myself. Talk about life playing tricks on you.

"Never mind," I said as I backed away and ran from the bar.

Looking back, I did hear someone following me but at that moment I was drowning in grief and I was lost to the world. I made it out the back door and did something very un-Maxlike, burst into tears.

I had my arm against the wall and my head on my arms crying when I heard a voice asking if I was all right.

I nodded but another sob escaped and the person said that I was lying.

I turned to see the singer, aka you but not really you, I said something along these lines, "I'm sorry, I just-you look. I thought you were someone I haven't seen in a really long time. I'm sorry I bothered you."

I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm and said something very sweet, "Do you need to talk about it or something? Need a ride home?"

He had the sweetest smile. I shook my head, "No…but thanks for everything."

He looked confused so I elaborated, "Seeing you…and him…made me realize how important he still is to me, and I haven't been sure if it was still there, the love."

I was rambling but he smiled and said "I'm glad I could help."

Before he could say anything else I spread my wings and flew high into the Texas sky. I heard him gasp and I waved as I flew off, the last thing I saw him do was drop to his knees and start to pray.

And the last thing I said was "Thank you for showing me the way!" I didn't look back.

I wonder was it fate that brought me to that little bar and fate that brought that boy to that bar to sing that song. The song sounds like us, doesn't it?

Or was something other than fate at work? Luck, wishful thinking or something like God? Is there even a God when it comes to bird kids?

I really wish that you were here to give me the answer right now.

Love,

Max

P.S. I'm so glad I found the love again, I feel so alive.

Love, Me

I LOVE this entry! I hope you do to, please review! Oh, the song is When You Think Of Me by Mark Wills. Love you guys!

And if I offended anyone with the part about God, I am very sorry. I am a Roman Catholic and I believe in God but that doesn't mean that if you don't believe in God then I think you're wrong…I think you have the right to believe in whatever you want!

Agent Striker