A/N: I have no ownership claim on the characters or story, and I write just for fun. In this case, I wrote sadness for fun. This is the last chapter, thanks for sticking with it.

"Mrs. Malfoy, have you seen Draco today?" Astoria Greengrass asked her soon to be mother-in-law. She had been staying at the Manor while the two families ironed out the wedding details. It was the first time that she had spent an extended amount of time with Draco, and to find him gone without any notice was a little unsettling. It had taken a bit of nerve to approach Narcissa alone, since she had only met her for the first time a few weeks ago, but she was genuinely concerned for Draco's safety.

Narcissa put her quill down and looked up at Astoria. Now was as good a time as any, she thought. "Astoria, sit down please," she said as the young, painfully thin girl sat on the ottoman near Narcissa's desk. "There is no easy way to say this, but I am afraid that your fiancée has a problem that perhaps only you can fix."

"I don't understand," Astoria said.

"How long have you known Draco?" Narcissa asked.

"Since we were in school, I don't know about…" Astoria started to respond.

"No dear," Narcissa interrupted. "I mean really known Draco. It has only been a few months hasn't it?"

Astoria paused. "I suppose so, it has been a whirlwind courtship," she said, trying to stay lighthearted.

Narcissa smiled in return. She liked this girl, she really did, and it was hard trying to think of a way to say what she needed to without hurting her. "Tell me again how Draco proposed to you."

"It was a shock really. We'd gone out a few times, and then he took me to a wonderful dinner in London. Before I knew it, he was down on one knee and proposing in the restaurant. It was magical," Astoria said with a smile.

Narcissa replied, "Yes, that's right, now Astoria, let me ask you another question. Have you been in love before?"

"Not really in love, I've had some crushes before, but…" Astoria looked down for a moment while she thought. "Are you saying that Draco has, and he's not over her yet? He's not out with someone else is he?" Astoria put her hand on her chest, with a mixture of shock, sadness, and perhaps just a little anger on her face.

"No dear, as far as I know, he is not out with anyone. That's just it; he is so alone, even when he is around us. Any of us," Narcissa said as she took out her wand and tapped it gently against the silver teapot that sat on her desk. Steam emanated from the spout and she poured Astoria and herself a cup before she continued. "He leaves every once and a while, and I don't know where he goes, but I have my thoughts. Have you ever noticed that Draco seems distant? He can be charming, and I am sure that he has been very pleasant, but do you notice that you feel like there is something that he is not telling you?"

Astoria nodded as she took a sip of her tea. "I thought that was because of the war, everyone has baggage that they are carrying around."

"True, that did take a toll on all of us, but Draco has been that way since the day he started Hogwarts. He tries to hide it, but he's been plagued with nightmares for years. He won't tell me anything about them, but I have heard him cry out many a night. I think that is where you come in," Narcissa said.

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"He always cries out the same name, always has since he was a boy. He treated her terribly in school, I understand, but he saved her from my sister on that same day that he saved Harry Potter. There is a connection there that I don't understand, but there is something about Hermione Granger that broke his heart." Narcissa put down her cup. "I don't think that he is in love with someone else, Astoria, I think he is in love with something he can't have, and that is what causes him to leave. He spends quite a bit of time alone, and away from here."

Astoria took all of this in. She was no fragile flower herself, and she saw that this was just a problem to overcome. She knew that Hermione hated Draco and was due to marry Ron Weasley soon. Hermione was smart, famous and beautiful, but Astoria knew that she also had a lot to offer Draco, and that he would realize it, because she would prove it to him. She was a Slytherin after all, and she could come up with a plan to get what she wanted, and now she knew she wanted Draco more than anything. She wanted to win. "Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy," Astoria said as she placed her cup on the tray and stood. She smoothed out the front of her emerald-green wool skirt, and offered a practiced smile. "I imagine I have my work cut out for me, so I better get started."

"Started on what?" Narcissa asked.

"On making Draco forget all about Hermione Granger," Astoria said.

It was past midnight and Draco was drunk. The Harp near Covent Garden provided him with an abundant supply of drink and the anonymity of a tourist destination. He was in no shape to Apparate anywhere, so he just stood under a streetlight. The world spun around him and he didn't care what the Muggles walking past thought.

He liked London. It was big, full of strangers, and as long as he had money, he could do as he pleased. He watched Muggle sports and pretended he cared. He talked with strangers in shops and pubs, and walked alone through the streets and parks. He bought Muggle things and acted the way they did. When women talked to him, and he was always surprised how often they did, his disinterest just made them all the more intrigued. He didn't get drunk very often anymore, but on a special occasion like this, many glasses of good single malt scotch did the trick.

Leaning against the lamppost was turning out to be harder than he thought and Draco concentrated on not falling. He didn't care what the Muggles thought, but he did have his pride. He imagined that in a few hours he would be able to walk again. As the crowd leaving the bars thinned out, Draco stood staring off into the darkness. He didn't like being alone, and late at night was when it was the hardest. Harry and Hermione were out there living their lives without him. That wasn't the way it was supposed to happen, and that made Draco feel so angry, and sad, and powerless all at the same time. He wanted to tell them, to shake them until they understood that everything he had done, that how terrible that he'd been was for all of them. Sacrifice, he thought. That is what he'd been doing, sacrificing himself for others, and he knew, even through his drink-induced haze, that he had to continue. There was no way he could risk waking up as a child in his room again, if he did, he knew that he would just become a serial suicidalist, if that was even possible.

Draco looked at his watch to see that it was almost one. The street was deserted now, and he felt like soon he would be able to stand without the lamppost's support. It was then that he heard footsteps, they were loud and obviously from a woman's high heels, walking with purpose. He was surprised that a woman would be walking alone this late at night, so he turned to investigate. It took him a moment to navigate to the other side of the post, and when he did he was shocked to see Astoria walking up to him in a long black coat, her wand down by her side.

"Hello Draco," Astoria said calmly as she walked up to him. She could tell that he was drunk, and wished that she had instructed her House-elf, Tack, to stick around and Apparate them back to the Manor. She would just have to figure something out.

"What are you doing here?" Draco asked. Fortunately, the speaking part of his brain was still functioning well.

"Looking for you, I was worried about you," Astoria replied. She looked around at the now-closed shops and bars. "Nice," she said with a smile, "come here often?"

Draco smiled, "You're funny." He pushed off from the lamppost he'd become accustomed to and stood up on his own. He composed himself with great effort and offered her his arm. "It's late, I should see you home."

Astoria laughed. Her concern and anger at Draco's disappearance were wearing off. She half expected him to be with another woman, and when Tack brought her here, and she saw Draco standing alone, her heart went out to him. "I don't think you are in any shape to be taking us anywhere," she said.

"Ah, well young lady, there are still a few tricks that I have up my sleeve," Draco said, looking at Astoria and noticing that the Muggle reference to magic went over her head. "That's a joke. Muggles have magicians that are not magical, and they literally keep things up their sleeves, and pull them out quickly to appear magical."

"Really?" Astoria asked. "That's so sad. How do you know so much about them?"

Draco leaned on her as he put one foot in front of the other. He aimed them for the corner, and prepared for a left turn towards Covent Garden. "I spend time in the Muggle world. I like to get away."

Astoria held him up as they walked. So far her plan was working. She found him, and he was safe. Getting him to talk while he was so drunk was a bonus, maybe she could find out more about what was going on inside his head. "Get away from what?" she asked.

"Life," Draco answered as they turned the corner onto a busier street. A few black cabs were stopped curbside, still hoping for the wayward customer. "Watch this," Draco said as they approached the queue of cars. He opened the door of the first car for Astoria as he said to the driver, " One Cruden Street, Islington if you please."

"Right sir," the cabbie said as he put the cab in gear and they moved forward.

"Wow," Astoria whispered. "I've never been in a Muggle car before."

"Moves without any magic at all," Draco said as he gestured with his hand. He put his arm around Astoria and leaned back in the car.

Astoria felt comfortable in his arms, and intrigued by this man she was getting to know better. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"You'll see," Draco said as he drifted off to sleep for a few minutes.

Astoria was glad that the financial exchange with the cab driver was over. When Draco handed her a handful of paper notes to give to the man, she had no idea what to pay. The driver looked at her like she was an idiot when she handed the whole wad of paper to him. He shook his head and handed her most of them back before driving off into the night. When she turned around, Draco was already walking up to the door of the address that the driver announced when they arrived, number one Cruden St., Islington, London. His flat.

Draco fumbled with the lock, and Astoria was just about to use her wand to let them in, when he finally got the door open. He then went inside, and she heard a click as the lights came on. She stepped inside the doorway as he closed it behind her. The flat was smaller than she would have expected if she knew he owned a flat in London, but it was comfortable. On first glance however, she was surprised that she saw no emerald green and silver, which would be expected of any Slytherin. In fact, the defining colors here seemed to be the red and gold of Gryffindor.

"Fancy something to drink?" Draco asked as he walked deeper in to the foyer, past the stairs and towards the back rooms of the flat.

"I think you've had plenty, don't you?" Astoria asked, trying to be lighthearted. Seeing her fiancée drunk and learning that he has a secret apartment in the city, was concerning to say the least.

Draco turned towards Astoria and smiled. "I meant coffee actually."

"Oh," Astoria responded, looking down at her feet, embarrassed and overwhelmed.

Draco took her hand in his and held it as she looked up into his eyes. "Astoria, listen. I know that this is a lot to take in, but I want you to know that you can trust me. Understand? All of this," he said gesturing at the flat in general, "is just where I get away, nothing else." He could tell that she was calming down, and as he sobered up more, he realized that he was going to have to come clean about his flat. "Let me get some coffee, then give you a tour."

She didn't know what was more amazing, the electric kettle or the microwave. She knew Muggles did things differently, but to see the devices in action…amazing. They took their cups and went into another room, and Astoria had to catch her breath.

She had never been in the Gryffindor common room, but she had heard stories from a sixth year housemate who had ended up there, partially dressed, when she and her secret Gryffindor boyfriend were discovered. As far as she could imagine, this was probably a close replica of the same room. Soft red furniture, warm fireplace, tables with wizard's chess sets, portraits and bookshelves lined the walls, and to cap it all off, a giant Gryffindor banner over the hearth.

Draco flopped on the couch and patted the soft, inviting seat next to him. "Sit," he said calmly.

"I don't understand," Astoria said.

Draco took a long drink of his black coffee and thought about his situation. He reasoned that he could tell Astoria his whole story, hoping that by sharing it, she would keep his secret and he'd have a comrade that pitied him and they could spend the rest of this life together. However, she could run away, share his secret, or worse, tell Hermione the truth. He couldn't risk that.

"I have a secret," Draco said, "and I need you to promise me that you will never tell anyone."

Astoria put her hand on her heart and said seriously, "I promise."

"I really like Gryffindor."

He had avoided them for years. While Harry, Ron and Hermione were each involved in the Ministry in some fashion, he was the opposite. Draco focused on Muggle technology, buying and selling companies, serving on boards and traveling frequently to California and India to examine potential purchases and partners. He maintained a few homes around the world, and visited the Manor frequently, but his family's main residence remained on Cruden Street in London. He and Astoria moved in there together after they married, and shortly thereafter, Scorpius was born. Draco and Astoria had an agreement that they would live apart from most of the wizarding world except for family. Astoria and Scorpius loved to travel, so they were happy to trade frequent trips to Diagon Alley for trips to New York or Tokyo. Only Draco knew that the real reason for this diversion was not because his business demanded that he act like a Muggle, or that he wanted to show his family the world, it was that he wanted to stay away from Hermione.

The nightmares were less frequent now, and he stopped taking his sleeping draughts. There were a few nights that he awoke screaming, or worse, having Astoria wake him because he was calling out for Hermione. She never asked him what his dreams were about, and for that omission, he was thankful. The dreams were always the same. Hermione dying in his arms, and the red mist engulfing them both. Never reconnecting, never touching, nothing but blackness and loss.

Scorpius was the one thing that he was proud of. He was a smart boy, and kind. One additional benefit to all the travel was that Lucius had been a distant grandfather. Scorpius had been raised to be generous and brave, rather than a pureblood. Draco imagined that one day he could go to Hogwarts and be proud to be a Gryffindor. Astoria wanted their son to be a Slytherin, but Draco planned on telling his son that he could be in any house he chose, he just needed to ask for it. Scorpius was a perfect mix of Draco and Astoria; pale, thin and handsome. However, each time Draco looked at his son, there was a though in the back of his mind. What would my child have looked like with Hermione as the mother?

Now he was sure that he would see them. It was the day Scorpius would start Hogwarts, and he expected a bloody parents' reunion on Platform 9 ¾. He and Astoria had been to a few parties over the years with some of their Slytherin classmates, but he cared nothing about them. He was most concerned with seeing Hermione. He hadn't seen her in almost two decades, how was he going to handle that?

"Just take a run at that wall, and on the other side you'll find the platform," Draco advised his son.

"I'll try," Scorpius said as he pushed his trolley aggressively towards the brick barrier.

In an instant he was through, and Draco and Astoria followed. There were many families already on the platform, and the train was building up a dramatic head of steam to prepare for the journey. "Enjoy yourself, son," Draco said as he patted his boy on the head. "The best days of your life are ahead of you."

"Write us," Astoria said as she kissed her son on the cheek.

"I will." Scorpius said tentatively.

Draco bent down to whisper to his son. "Remember, you can tell the Hat to put you in whatever house you want," Draco said. "My advice is to pick the one with the prettiest girls."

"Dad," Scorpius pleaded as he jumped onto the train. "Don't worry about me, ok?"

As his son moved into the interior of the train, Draco glanced off to his left, towards the sea of read hair that surrounded Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. Harry looked towards Draco and gave a stiff nod. Draco returned it without emotion. Harry, Ron and Hermione conferred together quietly, and Draco knew that they were talking about him. Watching the three of them together, sending their children off to school, sharing their stories, their lives, and being friends; that lost opportunity broke the last remaining fragment that was left of Draco's heart. He had sacrificed so much, and what for? An almost loveless marriage? Self-imposed banishment from the wizarding world? As he stared at the back of Hermione's head, watched her entwine her fingers with Ron's, and hug her youngest daughter to her side, Draco saw how much he had sacrificed. He'd lost everything. In his quest to save everyone, there was one person that had not been saved, that was currently living in a Hell of his own, Draco Malfoy.

As the train pulled out, Astoria said, "Are you ready?" knowing that Draco would not want to dawdle and talk to the other parents. She took his hand and they left the platform.

King's Cross station fronted Euston Road, one of the busier London thoroughfares in the mid-morning. They walked out into the sunlight, and Draco looked out into the street at the red, double Decker buses filled with riders. As they waited for the light to change so that they could cross to the Apparation point in the back of a restaurant called Chop, Draco heard his name called out from behind him.

"Oi, Malfoy! Think your son will be as miserable a git as you were in school?" Ron Weasley said as he, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny queued up behind Draco.

Draco squeezed his wife's hand as he released it and turned to face Ron. "I thought I smelled you back there, Weasley," Draco said with a sneer. I hope that your wife was able to afford new robes for your children, because I am sure that they would be threadbare if it were left up to you."

Astoria flushed red with embarrassment and Harry and Hermione protested loudly. While the others argued, Ron and Draco stared at each other coldly. Draco stood with his back to the edge of the busy street, feeling the wind as the giant buses raced by. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the others arguing, not paying him much attention, and he sneered at Ron in the most awful expression of prideful superiority and mouthed one word to send Ron over the edge.

Mudblood.

Just as Draco thought, Ron, without thinking, shoved Draco hard. Draco fell with it, offering no resistance, and he maintained eye contact with Ron as he fell backward in front of a bus on its way to Russell Square. He wanted Ron to feel the guilt of what he'd done, it seemed like punishment enough for taking the life that Draco was unable to have. Draco was tired of sacrificing, and he was finally ready for a fresh start, or the end, whatever came next. The last thing he saw was Hermione and Harry reaching in vain for him before the bus took his life.

Draco expected to either feel the crush of the bus extinguish him, or find himself transported to his bedroom on the day before he started his own journey at Hogwarts. Instead, time slowed down and several lives flashed before his eyes. Getting married to Astoria and having a son. Fighting Voldemort, destroying Horcruxes, falling in love with Hermione over and over again, and watching her die. Saving Harry, talking to Dumbledore, telling his mother his story and missing his childhood companion, Dobby. If this was his life, he had certainly lived enough of it, Draco thought. He braced himself as the impact became imminent.

In the end he felt nothing at all.

Fin.