Later that evening, as they started to get ready for bed, Sam went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Carly had been making sure she brushed nightly, as no one, particularly Dr. Wheeler, wanted a repeat of Sam's last dental visit. As she squeezed the toothpaste onto the brush, she felt her girlfriend's arms snake around her waist from behind, and the now familiar feeling of her Cupcake's breath on the back of her neck. "Ya know, Mama, Spencer is having movie night at Socko's tonight. We're all alone," Carly's voice was seductive, and as she spoke, her hands moved up Sam's torso until they were cupping the blonde's breasts. Sam's nipples started to respond through the t-shirt and bra, and she could feel Carly's own nipples, pressed tightly against her back, getting hard as well. The feeling was indescribable, and Sam really wanted to continue, but she didn't feel comfortable taking their relationship to the next level while Carly insisted on keeping it secret. Sam didn't always do emotions well, but to her it felt bad. Their relationship was nothing to be ashamed of, but having sex in secret would make it feel meaningless and empty, at least in her mind.
"Whoa, Cupcake. I don't think I'm ready for this yet." Sam reluctantly spoke.
"Sure feels like you are," Carly replied, winking seductively at Sam in the mirror. "Don't you like this?"
"Carly," Sam turned to look her in the eyes, "can you just respect the fact that I'm not ready to go any further, just like I respect the fact that you're not ready to come out yet?" She pushed past Carly and stepped into the bedroom.
"No. No I can't." Carly replied, following her. All of the emotion from earlier had made her feel very romantic, and she wanted to share those special feelings with her partner. They had been together for months, and it was time to make Sam her lover. Carly could be a very demanding Cupcake when she wanted to be. "Samantha," the teen continued, hoping the use of her girlfriend's full name sounded romantic, "don't you understand that I love you completely, and I want to be with you in every way possible?"
"Yeah, every way except the way I want," Sam grumbled, her impulsive nature kicking in as she sensed a fight brewing. This had been building for some time and she had to get it out. At the brunette's questioning look, she took a deep breath and spoke very calmly, "Carly, I want to be with you in every way possible too. To me, though, that includes walking into the Groovy Smoothie hand in hand, or kissing in the hallways between classes at school. Ya know, just being a couple. I love you. I want everyone to know that. If you're worried about the kids at school, don't. They know better than to mess with Sam Puckett's girlfriend."
"Sam, I just can't!" Carly cried. "I'm so afraid that someone will be disappointed in me for being in a…" Carly whispered the next part, looking around nervously, "lesbian relationship. I don't know if I can handle that."
"If you love me as completely as you say, what does it matter?" Sam countered. "I don't want to live our whole lives in secret, worried that I'll slip somewhere and expose us – you. I'm tired of hiding, Cupcake. Can't you at least tell Spencer?"
"NO!" Carly cried. "Sam, no. Spencer raised me for the last 10 years, since Mom died. Dad was always overseas, and Grandad checks in from Yakima once in awhile, but Spencer, he's the only parent I really have. If he stopped loving me because of this, I'd just…" her voice trailed off.
"Carly, he won't. I've known Spencer for 8 years now. I've never seen him show anything but love for you. He'll accept this, I know he will. You know he will."
"I… I can't take that chance. I won't. Please, if you love me, you'll give me more time," Carly pleaded.
"How much? 6 more months? A year? You're always going to be afraid, you're always going to need more time." Sam stood and walked over to Carly's bedroom door. She turned to face her partner once more. "You know Carly, I do know the difference between right and wrong. I may do some things that are bad because I enjoy them, but I always know when I'm doing wrong. Our love isn't wrong. It's probably one of the most right things I've ever done in my life, but I can't go on. I'm tired of you being ashamed of me." She was in tears now as she looked at Carly expectantly.
"Sam, I just need a little more..." Carly started before Sam turned away angrily. Carly knew she had to say something to keep Sam from leaving. "Don't you love me?" she softly cooed.
It almost worked, but Sam's antagonistic personality was running in full force. She immediately blurted out the first thing that came to her mind, "Not when you're unreasonable, I don't!" She regretted those words before she finished the sentence, but she wasn't backing down. She turned back halfway and her voice softened a little, "Just Spencer?"
Carly didn't answer, she just stood there and bowed her head. Sam could see hurt and defeat in those brown eyes, but she didn't give in. This was too important to her. "Call me when you change your mind," she grumbled, opening the door.
Sam slammed Carly's bedroom door behind her, dramatically. As she walked toward the stairs, she could hear Carly sobbing from inside her room. She hesitated. Maybe... No! I had to give her that ultimatum. She walked down the steps and out of the apartment that had been a second home to her for years, wondering at that moment if she would ever return.