Things had been going well. They had been vulnerable with one another, and were approaching a huge milestone. Being truly intimate with one another was something that Callie longed for, and she had thought that tonight was the night.
That had changed in an instant.
She had no idea why Arizona had so quickly eradicated so many walls or why she rushed away. The blonde had been an active and enthusiastic partner, until suddenly she wasn't.
Callie retrieved a discarded robe off of the floor, wrapping it around her before tapping on the door. "Arizona? What's going on?"
"Callie, I can't do this right now." She could hear distinctive sniffles, and she detected a quiver in Arizona's voice.
"What can't you do? Talk to me, please."
She rested her forehead against the wooden barrier as her palm laid flat against the surface. She ached to be closer to Arizona, wanting to give her whatever she needed in this moment.
"I...I can't...I can't...I just can't. You won't understand," Arizona squeaked out as she burst into tears. Callie's heart broke as she listened to the woman cry. She wished that she could simply gather her into her arms and make all this hurt and pain go away. There just had to be something that she could do for Arizona, she just didn't know what.
Callie lightly turned the doorknob, disappointedly finding that it was locked. Just another barrier that she was now determined to break down. "Give me a chance to understand," she said as she rested her palm against the wood. "I want to understand, if you can let me."
There wasn't a break in sobs for a few moments, and then she heard a few scattered hiccups, signaling that the blonde was attempting to calm down and speak.
"I don't want you to see me," Arizona eventually managed to get out. "Not completely, at least."
"That's fine. I don't have to see all of you right now. But this conversation might be a little bit easier to have face to face. If you want to."
She wondered if Arizona would respond or if she would stay shut in the bathroom. Callie waited patiently, knowing that she had placed the ball in the other woman's court. If they wanted to move forward in this moment, Arizona had to take that step. Callie was here and willing to open this up, but she couldn't force her love to be vulnerable.
After a short while, a bit of shuffling sounded from behind the door, and much to her surprise, she heard the latch flip on the bathroom. The physical barrier between them swung open to reveal a haggard and emotional Arizona standing with a robe tightly wrapped around her.
Her eyes dropped to scan the clothing on her. "Sorry, I should have asked. I just found this by your towels."
"It's okay. What's mine is yours." Callie tentatively reached forward, grasping Arizona's upper arms. The blonde tensed for a moment as her bottom lip started to quiver. "Can I hold you?"
Arizona nodded as fresh tears started rolling down her face, and she stepped forward. Callie pulled the woman towards her, capturing her into a tight embrace as she collapsed in her arms. Arizona held onto her tightly as she buried her face against Callie's neck. Her fingers cupped the back of a blonde head, and she poured all of her emotion and adoration into her hug. She vowed to never let this woman go, and she hoped to do everything in her power to provide the comfort she needed.
"I'm sorry," Arizona mumbled, her voice thick with hurt.
"Shh, shh. You have nothing to apologize for. It's all going to be okay. I'm right here." Callie slowly rubbed her back as she whispered quiet reassurances in her ear. She turned her head and placed a long, sweet kiss against Arizona's temple, a gesture that almost instantly made the blonde relax even more. "I've got you, my love. I've got you."
"Callie, I don't know what to do," she breathed as she nestled further into her neck. "I thought that I could handle things, but I'm slowly realizing just how messed up I am."
She lightly ran her fingers through soft, golden strands of hair as she formulated her response. "Well," she began as she cleared her voice, "if that's the case, then I guess we will just have to be messed up together." Callie squeezed her tight, placing a quick series of kisses on the crown of her head. "I adore you, Arizona, and I'm here for you. In whatever way you need."
Arizona pulled back and looked up at Callie. She noticed puffy, red rimmed eyes, and she cupped two tear soaked ivory cheeks in her hands. "I'm a disaster, Callie. I am so broken on the inside and outside, and I hate so much about myself. Are you really prepared for all of that? Are you really wanting to see all of me? Because I'm realizing now that this is so goddamn difficult, and moving forward for us means dealing with a lot of really hard and complicated and messy shit. That terrifies me, and I don't know if I'm ready."
"Do you want to know what I think?" Arizona nodded, and Callie gently brushed away tear tracks with the pads of her thumbs. "I think that life is made up of so much complicated and messy shit that it sometimes makes me wonder what the point is. But, we get to choose how we deal with it. We can decide if we want to run and hide or if we want to face it with our head held high. Now, I'm not going to tell you how to feel or what you should do. However, I think that if we really want to build this special life together, then running and hiding isn't the place to start." The blonde dropped her gaze, so she tilted her chin up so their eyes were locked once again. "You're not alone. You have me. And I am all in, no matter what. We don't have to do this today or anytime soon. Just know that when you are ready, I will be right here."
"What did I ever do to deserve you, Calliope?"
"I could ask you the same question." Callie leaned forward and lightly kissed Arizona's forehead.
"Callie?"
"Hmm?"
"I don't know if I ever will truly be ready to move forward. But, I think I might just need to take a leap of faith, and trust that you will catch me."
"Oh, Arizona," Callie said as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I will always, always catch you."
Arizona closed the distance between them, capturing Callie's lips with her own. The kiss was long and lingering, and charged full of so much love that Callie swore that she saw and felt fireworks erupt all around them.
"I love you," Arizona whispered into the kiss, her breath dancing across Callie's skin.
"I love you too."
She kissed her back, sweetly cradling her face in her hands as if she held the most precious thing in the world. Which she did. Though they had shared an intense passion earlier, one that Callie thoroughly enjoyed, a moment like this was worth so much more. She craved this intimacy and this feeling that there was no one else but them in the entire world. It felt like they were completely connected, and though they still had a ways to go, she was certain that their souls had already begun to properly weave back together, right where they belonged.
Arizona must have sensed the closeness as well, as she pulled back with a deep breath. "I want to talk. I need to tell you everything."
"You don't have to. We can give it time."
She shook her head. "I don't want to wait. I'm completely terrified of these feelings, but I want to share my whole self with you. Our past is so important to me, but in order for us to have a real and genuine future, you need to know the person that I am today."
"Okay," she stated. "Whatever you want. I will be right here."
They moved to sit on Callie's bed, entwining their fingers together as they faced one another. Callie didn't say a word, as she didn't want to push Arizona in any way. This was in no way an easy conversation for them to have, and she wanted it to happen completely on the blonde's terms.
Arizona tightly squeezed Callie's hands in what appeared to be a sort of grounding gesture. Her eyes remained trained on her left leg, no doubt reliving every moment of that entire experience. Callie couldn't even imagine the hardships that she had gone through, or what she was feeling now. She could only hope that this was truly what Arizona really wanted, and that moving forward wouldn't knock them down in any way.
"Callie...I need you to understand just how difficult this is for me. I don't talk about what happened and how it still influences me to this very day. I just don't open up about it. I struggle so much with myself and my situation, and I don't like showing that side to others."
"Arizona, we don't have to do this now. Not if it is too much."
"No, I think we do. If I can't share this part of me with you, then how can we possibly share a life together? I can't run away every second that your hand gets too close to my leg. I can't have a panic attack just at the idea of taking it off. I can't want to burst into tears whenever I think about you seeing my scars. That's not a way to live. I want to be vulnerable with you and build something with you, and to do that, I have to do something that terrifies me. I have to show you who I really am now."
Callie gazed down at their joined hands, knowing that she ached for their hearts to be just as connected as they used to be. And that this was the first step towards that. "Arizona, I loved all of the woman I knew years ago. And I still love her. But, I'm also falling for the woman in front of me now, and I want to love all of her. I will love all of you, if you are willing to show it to me."
Arizona gave her the smallest of smiles before slowly exhaling. "This is harder than it ever has been for me. The others...well, with anyone else, it wasn't as difficult to reveal this about myself. They wouldn't know any different, so they liked me for who I was, even missing a leg. It was easier. I could pretend that that was who I had always been, and I got used to it. But with you...you knew me before. You have an image of me in your head. You fell in love with who I used to be, and all these years later, I'm scared that you won't love who I am now."
"What? That's not-"
"-Please, let me explain," Arizona said as she held up her hand. "I know that I've made this up in my head. I know that. But, that doesn't make my feelings any less valid." She slowly exhaled, closing her eyes for a moment before looking at Callie once more. "In my mind, you have this perfect image of me. You knew me before everything...before I became damaged. You haven't seen the broken version of me. The person you once knew was shattered, and this version of me is just the result of that. I like the idea that you still know me as I used to be. And once you really see me, well, that goes away. The damaged and battered person that I am will replace the woman you've loved all these years, and I guess that I'm just scared that I won't be enough. That I won't be able to live up to the person you have thought that I am. So, I haven't wanted you to see me, because right now the illusion is better than the reality."
Callie pulled her hands away so she could stroke a porcelain cheek. "You know, you're partially right. I have had an image of you in my head all this time." She saw Arizona's face fall, and she continued to caress her face. "But, the woman in front of me now continuously exceeds that. I've always thought of you as the girl I knew in college, but as I get to know you now, I want you so much more. I don't long for the girl from our past, I long for who you are at this moment in time. All of you."
"Really?"
"Of course! I have my own baggage and parts of me that have been damaged since you knew me last, and you still want me, right?" she asked. Arizona nodded, and Callie grinned. "So, I feel the same about you. I think you are incredible and amazing and beautiful, and I'm always going to see you that way."
Arizona paused before covering Callie's hand with her own. "Since the accident, every time I've looked in the mirror, I've hated what I saw. I've seen someone shattered and worthless. And I'm still trying work through that. The idea that someone sees anything else boggles my mind."
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course."
"Then believe me when I say: all I see is the most magnificent woman in the world. Scars and all." Callie ran her fingers down Arizona's neck until her hand rested upon her chest. "I love you, Arizona. I love everything about you, and I always have. I'm falling in love with you all over again and it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want your heart forever, and I want to give you mine. And I hope you feel the same."
"Oh, God, I do," Arizona told her, reaching out and placing her hand over Callie's heart. "My heart will always belong to you no matter what. And I want to fully give myself to you."
She fully kissed Callie, a deep and passionate gesture that connected them fully. "We don't have to do this, Arizona. Not if you're not ready," Callie muttered into her lips.
"I'm still afraid. But you make me so much braver. And more than anything, I want to move on and look to the future. So let's do that, okay?"
"Okay," Callie said, kissing her fully. "Only if you're sure."
"I've always been sure of you, Calliope." The blonde moved closer, so their bodies were practically glued together. "And I always want to be."
Arizona surprised her by grasping the edges of her robe and pulling them completely against one another. Though Callie was an eager participant, she relinquished all her control over to the other woman. She wanted Arizona to lead, and she would follow.
After caressing one another with their lips over and over, Arizona slipped the robe off of Callie's shoulders, leaving her once again fully exposed. Callie made no move to do the same, as Arizona needed to reveal herself bit by bit as she gained that courage.
Everything she had said had made complete sense. Their relationship was different than anything else, and Callie understood why Arizona was struggling. Though it broke her heart that they even existed, she could sympathize with the insecurities that the blonde felt and how she saw herself. Callie hoped that eventually she wouldn't be a reminder of the life Arizona used to have. She hoped that she could show her that she didn't see someone broken, when, in fact, she saw a remarkable woman who was strong and a survivor. This was just a hurdle they had to jump, and she respected that this physical intimacy wasn't an easy step for Arizona to take, no matter how much she wanted to.
Her body draped across Arizona's, and her lips lightly sucked on every bare stretch of skin she could find. She started to pull back the collar of the robe, her eyes searching blue for approval. "Is this okay?"
"Keep going. Leap of faith, remember?"
"Stop me if it's too much, okay?"
"I will. I trust you."
Callie's fingers found the knot holding the robe closed, and she gently unwound it. The fabric slowly fell away from an alabaster body, exposing Arizona for the first time since they had been reunited.
Chocolate eyes scanned across smooth skin, drinking in every ounce of the woman before her. Arizona had been beautiful in their youth, and that hadn't changed. The sight in front of her was alluring and gorgeous, and she couldn't get enough.
"Arizona," she breathed as she ran her hands along the naked skin of her lover. "You are sensational." She let her eyes scan the length of Arizona's body before locking her gaze with the blonde's. She rocked forward and pressed their foreheads together, aching for absolute closeness. "You are the most beautiful woman in the entire world. You always have been, and you always will be."
Her palm snaked down a thigh, lightly gripping the tight muscle right above the firm plastic of Arizona's leg. Callie's fingertips lovingly stroked the area, and she shifted her weight to the side so Arizona could properly begin the doffing process.
Pale hands worked slowly, and Callie could practically feel the anxiety radiating off of the other woman. Though the prosthetic didn't bother her in the slightest, in fact, she noticed that it was a model she was rather fascinated by, she knew how Arizona felt about it. There was no way that this was an easy process.
As Arizona freed her shortened limb from the artificial leg, she carefully moved it off of the bed, balancing it against the nightstand. Callie slowly moved her hand further down, her digits a mere inch away from the faded but still notable scar.
"This is me," Arizona quietly said.
Callie ran her thumb across the raised skin, tracing the scar that had changed Arizona's life completely. "This is you." She flicked her eyes up from the limb, noticing that blue orbs were clouded with unshed tears. She cupped the blonde's face and pulled her closer. "This is you, Arizona, and you are so, so, beautiful."
"Really?"
"Absolutely." Callie leaned forward and lightly kissed Arizona. It was a soft kiss, but was loving and intimate, and only made her feel closer to this woman.
She felt hands wrap around her body, pressing them further together. "I love you, Calliope."
"I love you too." Callie kissed her fully, parting pink lips to give herself more access. "And I fully intend to show you just how much."
She tangled her hands within golden locks, deepening their kiss even further. She nudged her thigh between Arizona's legs, inching them apart so she could grind against her mound. Arizona let out a moan of content, shifting to create more friction.
Callie slipped her hand between their bodies, rolling perky nipples under her thumb before stroking a pale stomach. She caressed Arizona's abdomen and slowly ran a finger through soft curls in search of an aroused nub. Her finger circled it momentarily, and she reveled in the pleasurable sigh that escaped from her lover. She could feel Arizona's grip tighten on her back, and she didn't doubt that several crescent fingernail marks would be scattered along her skin in the morning.
Her mouth moved to Arizona's pulse point at the base of her neck. She lightly nipped at the skin, immediately soothing it with a slow kiss. The fingertip positioned at her lover's entrance found a slow and steady rhythm as it traced and massaged tender lips. Heat from their bodies circled between them, and Callie felt a light sheen of perspiration coat their skin. The more they kissed and moved against one another, the more she wanted Arizona, and she wished that this feeling would never cease.
She felt one of Arizona's hands trace her curves until her own wet and awaiting center was cupped. Callie groaned with pleasure, and she grinded against a palm as she guided two fingers into the opening she had been teasing.
"God, Callie, don't stop."
Callie pulled one of Arizona's earlobes between her teeth, sucking on it hard before movie her mouth near her ear. "I want you so fucking bad."
"Then have me," Arizona breathed, slipping two of her fingers into Callie's opening.
She gasped at the contact, curling her fingers to brush the spot on Arizona's walls that always drove her crazy. And, as it turned out, it still did.
Arizona mimicked Callie's actions, and the two of them meticulously drove each other closer and closer to the edge. Though so much had changed, their knowledge and mastery of one another's bodies had not faded. They each used muscle memory to ignite pleasure within one another while also learning new techniques and evaluating what could be done further to trigger pure ecstasy. It was the perfect combination.
She was merciless in her ministrations. Her fingers worked tirelessly, teasing her lover in countless ways. That had always been part of their fun, and she enjoyed it just as much now. Bringing each other close to climax and then pulling back only helped a truly mind blowing orgasm form, and she hoped that they would each hit that peak tonight. As her thumb circled a bundle of nerves at a steady pace, she could feel Arizona's own fingers gliding in and out of her core.
"Are you close?" she asked, her tongue flicking an earlobe as her free hand rolled a perked nipple between her fingers.
Arizona nodded. "You?"
"God, yes." Callie withdrew her hand, noting the immediate pout that formed upon pink lips. "I want to feel you against me when I come, Arizona. I want to feel your center on mine as you come. I want to share that with you."
The blonde gave her answer by grasping Callie's cheeks and roughly and passionately kissing her. A clear and resounding yes.
The two women masterfully wove their limbs together, Callie being careful to position Arizona's leg as comfortably as she could. This position had been their favorite in the past, and they fell back into it with ease and desire. She moved a hand between them, parting their folds until two aroused and eager bundles of nerves rested against one another. Once their centers touched, each of them let out a soft and pleasurable moan.
"Fuck, yes." Arizona thrusted her hips upward as Callie grinded down, creating a perfect and intoxicating friction between them.
Callie rested her forehead against Arizona's as she threaded their fingers together. Their slick and hot bodies meshed against one another, and she could no longer tell where she began and the other woman ended. They were joined fully together as one, where they properly belonged.
"I love you," she murmured as she moved in a steady rhythm. "I have always loved you."
She could feel her climax steadily approaching. The heat at her core built with every move she made and every caress she received from Arizona. The need that existed within her was maddening, and she physically ached to feel a release. No other lover brought her as much pleasure or made her feel as much passion as Arizona did. There was no one else in the world who she loved with every fiber of her being, and no one else that made her feel so loved. Even after years apart, she still knew with an unrelenting certainty that they belonged together. Arizona always had been, and always would be, her soulmate. And she never wanted to be without her again.
"Oh, God. Calliope, I love you too," Arizona told her through a pleasurable sigh, and for some reason, those words were all she needed to be pushed over the edge.
Fireworks exploded throughout her entire body, and she could feel her limbs shaking as she tightly gripped the blonde. As she quaked from ecstasy, she heard her lover moan, only to feel a warm release from the other woman. Their wet centers pushed against each other, building up the orgasms even more to the point that it was mind blowing, earth shattering, and all around fucking incredible.
Callie wasn't sure how long it lasted. It felt like she floated up out of her body, and the only thing consuming her was unrelenting pleasure and pure adoration for Arizona. There was nothing else in the world that mattered, nothing else that existed in this moment. Just the two women and the connection of their bodies. It was everything.
When she finally drifted back to earth, and her thundering heart began to slow, Callie opened her eyes. She lay draped across an alabaster body, and Arizona's chest was heaving as her face displayed euphoria. It was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen.
Her hand moved to cup Arizona's face, and after she stroked a smooth cheek, she carefully tucked blonde strands of hair behind an ear. Blue eyes flickered open, and Callie felt her face split into a grin.
"Hey, you."
"Well, that was fucking amazing." Arizona's fingers ran up and down Callie's back as she nuzzled their noses together.
"That's an understatement." Callie slowly kissed a pale shoulder, her mouth moving up Arizona's neck until she captured perfect pink lips with her own. "God, I missed you."
Arizona played with a black curl. "I've missed you too. More than you could ever know," she said. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"Being you. Loving me. Making me feel so goddamn safe. Giving me a reason to feel whole again."
Callie kissed her hard before pulling away. "Neither of us were broken people. But we were missing something. And now that we are together, we are both whole again. And I intended to stay that way."
"Me too, Calliope. Me too."
Here's the next installment. I apologize for the wait, especially after leaving the last chapter with a bit of a cliffhanger. Life has been a little hectic lately, but I am still determined to write this story. Just know that I haven't given up, and I won't abandon this story! Writing is a passion of mine, and something I'll never stop doing.
Thank you for all the love and support for this story! It truly keeps me going. I can't promise when another update will be, but all the follows, favorites, and reviews give me so much motivation to work even harder. Thanks for reading!