A/N: Wow, last week got a lot of feedback! Thanks to everyone who wrote reviews! They were a nice way to warm me up during the arctic weather we've been having in the good old Land of 10,000 Lakes. Stay warm, everyone!

Disclaimer: I own neither 70s Show, Aerosmith, or anything else that's obviously not mine.

9.11: Can't Stop Messin'

Janie entered Fez's bedroom.

"I'm back," she said, and walked back into the main room. Fez jumped up, and followed her.

"You came back," he said.

"Yeah, Mom and Dad's was becoming a pain," she said. "My little brother was being a little dumbass and he spilled a bunch of my black nail polish all over their white dog."

"How did that happen?"

"Trying to give the dog a pedicure."

"…. Really?"

"I don't try to understand him," she said, running a hand through her dyed black hair. "I'm sorry I ran off. I just got scared. I've had friends who've fallen for me, and when I didn't reciprocate they always tossed me out with the bathwater. I was just worried you would do it too."

"No, I wouldn't do that," Fez said. "I've been rejected so many times, I'm used to it." She smiled sadly.

"So are we cool? You aren't pissed at me or anything?"

"No," he said. "I'm not." She smiled, and shrugged.

"Good. Wanna come to Grooves with me? I'm gonna beg Hyde for a job."

"What about the tattoo job?"

"Oh, I'm keeping that, but Mom and Dad said that they weren't going to help me with rent unless I got a better job. So obviously, I need two," she said.

-------------------------------

Jackie was at the Muffler Shop counter, when Larry walked out from the garage.

"Jackie, I've been thinking," he said, putting on his backwards hat and wiping off his greasy hands. "You and me, we're coworkers. We see each other a lot, I think, and maybe one day after work we could go get some food or a drink or coffee or something." Jackie looked at him, and smirked.

"Larry, what are you, thirty two? Thirty three?"

"Thirty even!"

"Well, I'm barely twenty," she said, as Danny Bonaduce jumped on the counter. "Sorry, I have a policy not to date men who are ten years older than me unless they are rich."

"Ouch," he said, petting the cat. "…. Wanna go make out in the back room?"

"Ew, no!" she exclaimed, hitting his shoulder.

"Well that doesn't necessarily mean dating!" he said. "It's just… I think you're very pretty." She gave him a sad and flattered look.

"Larry, I haven't heard anyone tell me that in awhile," she said. He smiled, and walked a little closer to her. "But still. No. Although, I have someone in mind you may get along really well with."

"You're going to set me up?" he asked, leaning against the counter.

"I'm a compulsive matchmaker," she said, petting Danny Bonaduce. "You know Red? He has a daughter."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She's a real skank. I'm sure she'd sleep with you," Jackie said. Larry laughed.

"I'm not interested in getting involved with the bosses daughter," he said.

By PURE coincidence, Laurie entered the store.

"Jackie, is my Dad here?" she asked.

"He's out getting lunch," Jackie said. "Laurie, this is Larry." Larry was dumbfounded by her physical beauty.

"Hi," he said, extending a hand. Laurie looked at it, and wrinkled her nose.

"Sorry, I don't shake hands with the help," she said. "Tell him I stopped by, and that I need money." With that, she left the store. Larry raised his eyebrows at Jackie.

"I like her," he said.

------------------------------

Hyde was at the counter of Grooves, and Janie and Fez walked in.

"Hey Janie, how's it going?" he asked.

"I need a job."

"You're hired."

"Thanks!" she said, shaking his hand.

"Just fill this out to make it official," he said, grabbing an application from under the counter. "I need more people to come in for jobs."

Leo walked out from the back room.

"Hyde man, did you take that copy of that Prince record from the back room?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Aw maaaan, I was going to give that to my niece," Leo said. "Didn't you see the post it on it that said 'Leo's'?"

"No, I saw the post it on it that said 'Mine'," Hyde stated. "Sorry man. We'll get some new ones soon."

"You told me Prince was for girls!" Fez sulked.

"He is, that's why I gave it to Jackie," Hyde said, as Leo leaned against the counter.

"Oh REALLY?" Janie asked, looking up from her application. "Man, I go to my parents for a couple weeks and so much happens!"

"What, it's a record," Hyde said. "She's into Prince. He has no staying power, so why not get her that album before he disappears off the face of the Earth?"

"Sure sure, Hyde," Janie said.

"What are you implying?" Hyde asked.

"I think she's saying you still have a thing for Jackie," Fez said.

"Loud Girl?" Leo asked. "I always liked her."

"One, I'm not saying anything about Jackie to any of you," Hyde said. "Two, do you want a job or not, Janie?"

"I do."

"Then shut yer trap," Hyde said.

Eric and Donna walked into the store, her with her newly fixed red hair.

"Donna, do you like Prince?" Fez asked.

"He's okay."

"I like him," Eric said, and Fez laughed. "I missed something, didn't I?"

"Why the Prince questions?" Donna asked.

"Hyde got Jackie that Prince album for the heck of it!" Janie exclaimed, and Donna turned, a huge smile across her face.

"OOOO!! You did?!" Donna exclaimed.

"It's just an album!" Hyde snapped.

"You got Jackie a just for the hell of it album?" Eric asked. "Aww. That's sweet."

"All of you can leave my store!" Hyde snapped. "Eric, you have a shift tonight."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Eric said.

"Janie, you start tomorrow," Hyde said, taking her application.

"Yay!" she exclaimed.

"Now everybody out!" he snapped. When Leo started walking too, Hyde grabbed him by the sleeve. "Not you, Leo. You still have work."

"Oh…. Can I go on a break?" Hyde groaned, and rubbed his temples.

----------------------------

Jackie and Larry were in her apartment after work. Larry held his arms out, and she put her finger to her chin, tapping it ever so lightly.

"Okay, you are going to need to shower," Jackie said. "Wash that hair of yours. You can't constantly have it hidden under a baseball cap."

"I like my cap," he said.

"And once I see you in non mechanic clothes I'm sure you'll look better," she said. "Larry, we're friends, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"So you won't hate me if I'm brutally honest with you?"

"…. It depends."

"Well, I'm bringing in the experts," she said. "They should be here any minute." As she said that, there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" In walked Donna, Fez, and Janie.

"These are the experts?" Larry asked.

"They're my friends and they know Laurie!" Jackie said. "Okay… Donna, Fez, Janie, this is Larry."

"Hey," they said, in unison.

"Hey," he said.

"Guys, I'm trying to set him up with Laurie," Jackie said.

"Good luck," Donna said. "No offense to you, Larry, but Laurie is what we call a gold digger."

"Though she did once marry Fez to keep him in the country," Janie said. "So she has a nice side. I'VE never seen it, but I guess it's there."

"Yes, that was the one nice thing she did for me," Fez said. "Then she left me."

"It wasn't a big loss, Fez," Donna said.

"Hey, I know that voice," Larry said. "Aren't you Hot Donna?" Donna smiled, and bit her lip.

"Yeah," she said, overly flattered. "I am."

"Wow, you ARE hot, Donna," he said.

"Aww, thanks!" she said.

"Ahem!" Jackie said, clapping her hands. "Let's focus, shall we? Our first goal is to get Larry and Laurie on a date." Janie held up her hand.

"I gotcha covered." She walked to Jackie's phone, and dialed the Foreman residence.

"Hello?" Laurie asked.

"Laurie, it's Janie," she said. "Would you be willing to go on a blind date with a friend?"

"Whatever. I could use a free meal."

"Cool. Meet him at Shogun's tonight at 7:30," Janie said.

"Sure, whatever." Janie hung up.

"Okay, that's taken care of," Janie said.

"Isn't she great?" Fez asked. Janie curtsied, mockingly.

"Now to just get you ready for her," Jackie said. "First of all, disease control. Do you have any condoms?"

"…. Yes, but I don't have any diseases."

"You never know with Laurie," Donna said.

--------------------------------

Eric came into Grooves, and saw Hyde sitting on the couch. He sat next to him, and looked at the album sleeve.

"What are we listening to?" Eric asked.

"Zeppelin."

"Uh oh, you're feeling introspective," Eric said. "You only listen to Zeppelin when you have a lot on your mind."

"… Wanna have a mini circle in the back room?"

"I'm technically working, my boss would kill me," Eric said.

"Shut up and let's go," Hyde said.

They sat across from each other at the desk.

"Man, I really REALLY like Kashmir," Eric said. "We'll never get as good music as this ever again. Rock is dead."

"Yeah, no kidding," Hyde said. "We should have a rock funeral."

"So why the circle and the Zeppelin?" Eric asked. "Something bothering you?"

"Jackie, man."

"No surprises here," Eric said. "She's obnoxious. Apparently she's a star at the muffler shop. All the customers love her."

"I think I still like her."

"You and Red's customers… Wait, what?"

"I think I still like her."

"… Man, I really wish you would make up your mind," Eric said. "One minute it's 'I hate Jackie', the next it's 'I love Jackie', the next it's 'I hate her', then 'I love her'. It's making my head hurt."

"It sucks, man," Hyde said. "I hate complicated relationships. That's why I liked Sam, she wasn't complicated. She was simple simple simple."

"This is some good weed," Eric said.

"I mean, Jackie is still Jackie, but she's also not Jackie. She's different, kind of. She's growing up."

"I think the room is spinning," Eric said.

"I can't help looking at her for no reason!" Hyde said. "I hate it when I do that!"

"… Did the bell just ring?" Eric asked. It rang again. "Uh oh. Customer." He stood up from the circle, and Hyde heard him greet the customer with an over enthusiastic 'HI!!!'.

"Thanks for listening," Hyde said, genuinely, to no one. "You're a great friend."

----------------------------------

Jackie, Donna, Fez, Janie, and Larry stood outside Shogun. They looked in the window, and saw Laurie.

"She looks thrilled," Donna said, sarcastically.

"Are you ever thrilled on a blind date?" Janie asked. "Is anyone?"

"I am," Fez said. "Because… it's a date."

"Okay Larry, remember everything we told you," Jackie said. "Just be aloof, just be yourself, and tell her you're an heir to a fortune. That will get her in bed with you."

"I forget what fortune," Larry said.

"You're the nephew of the Duke of Worcestershire," Janie said.

"Isn't that a seasoning?" Larry asked.

"Like she knows that," Jackie said. "Go in there and charm the pants off of her."

"It's not that hard," Donna said.

"Guys, I'm not that great with girls," Larry said. "Jackie can attest to this."

"It's true, you're awkward," Jackie said. "Tell you what. If this doesn't work out… I'll take you to strip club and give you a lot of dollar bills."

"But you hate strippers," Fez said. "Ever since Sam-."

"FOR LARRY I'LL GO SEE STRIPPERS," Jackie snapped.

"Wow Jackie, you're a good friend," Larry said.

"… I'll go too," Donna said.

"Donna!" Janie exclaimed. "You were just talking about how strippers were anti feminist the other day!"

"But I'm sure this is going to work, so I know I won't have to make good on this promise," Donna said. Larry nodded, and walked into the restaurant. The others watched through the window.

"Laurie?" he asked. She looked up, and groaned.

"She set me up with a mechanic?" Laurie asked.

"I, I just have that job because my… uncle thinks I need the experience before I can… inherit my fortune?" he asked. Laurie's ears perked up, and he sat down.

"So you have an inheritance?" she asked. "Well it's nice to meet you…?"

"Larry."

"Yeah. Larry. So how much money does your uncle have?"

"… A lot. He's the Duke of Worcestershire."

"… Isn't that a seasoning?"

"… No."

Fez gazed through the window.

"I don't know, guys, she doesn't look convinced," Fez stated. "I mean, she looks like he's disgusting her."

"Come on, Larry!" Jackie exclaimed. "You can do it! Just be as charming as I know you can be… Or at least I believe you can be…"

"I don't want to go to a strip club!" Donna exclaimed.

"And is that in England?" Laurie asked.

"Yep!" Larry said.

"Where's your accent?"

"… I lost it."

"Can you take it out for me?"

"… No."

"You're such a liar," she said, smirking. "You aren't rich at all, you're just a mechanic at my Dad's shop who probably dropped out of high school as soon as possible."

"I didn't drop out," Larry said. "I graduated, I just… Didn't continue my education. Besides, Jackie tells me you didn't even finish college."

"Says the girl who didn't even go in the first place."

"You're a stuck up bitch," Larry said. "I don't know why Jackie thought this would work out," Larry said. Laurie examined her nails, and sighed.

"Well, she is aware that it's been awhile since I got any… Like, three weeks…. Wanna go to the coat room?"

"…Yeah, okay." They got up, and snuck off towards the coat room. Fez turned to the others, and gave a thumbs up to them.

"I never thought I'd ever say I was happy to see my ex wife going to have sex with another man," Fez said.

"And I never thought I'd say that I'm getting joy from a mechanic and my opportunistic hypothetical future sister in law getting some in a restaurant," Donna stated. "Ladies… And Fez… I say we treat ourselves to drinks." They all nodded, and walked down the street.

"… Though I kind of wanted to see strippers," Donna continued.

"Are you serious?" Janie asked.

"Sadly, yeah, kind of," Donna said. "It felt deviant to me."

"Well we can still go," Fez said. The girls laughed, and walked a little ahead of him. "I was being serious!"

----------------------------

Hyde was closing up the store, and Eric held up a small pile of applications.

"While you were in the back room a few more people applied," Eric said. "If you hired one more person, you'd have four workers."

"Cool," Hyde said, taking the papers from him. "You know, what I said in the circle, I was high."

"I know not to take what you say while high to heart," Eric said. "You're told me you love me while high, so I figured that this was just the same thing."

"Exactly! I get really loose lipped when high!" Hyde said. "I'm just glad that it was you and not Donna. She'd've been all 'talk to her! Talk to her!' Not my bag, man."

"No way," Eric said. "So, I'm heading home. See you later."

"Yeah," Hyde said. Eric left the store, and he began closing up officially.

There was a knocking on the window, and he saw Jackie out there. She waved, and pointed at the door. Hyde smirked, and pointed at the 'closed' sigh. She stuck out her lower lip, and scratched the window like an animal wanting to get inside. He chuckled, and walked to the door, opening it.

"Steven, you should congratulate me," she said.

"Why?"

"Well, my friend Larry is probably sleeping with Laurie thanks to me."

"Poor Larry. He won't be thanking you when he wakes up with a rash," Hyde said, and Jackie scoffed.

"Whatever, he needed some and I got him some," Jackie said.

"So you're Laurie's pimp?" Hyde asked. Jackie smiled, and shook her head.

"I don't think the pimps trick their prostitutes into sleeping with guys," Jackie said, sitting on the couch. "So what are YOU doing?"

"Closing up," he said, as she fiddled with the turn table by the couch. "Hey, come on, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to celebrate while you close up," she said. She turned on the record, and smiled as 'Somebody to Love' by Queen came on. "Oh yay! I love Queen!"

"Since when?"

"Since I discovered Freddie Mercury was hot!"

"…. Of course you'd think he was hot," he said.

"Huh?" she asked, dancing around the store.

"Nothing," he said. She danced around him, and he chuckled, and hip checked her playfully. She laughed, and grabbed his hands. "I don't dance."

"You've danced before," she stated, and made him move his arms. He gave in, and they twirled around the store. He turned her, and pulled her back, and dipped her.

"Hey! Let me back up!" she exclaimed, laughing.

"Don't fall, Jacks," he said.

"I think that's up to you," she said, holding his shoulders, and laughing. He held her back, and stared at her. She looked up at him, and they had an odd moment of simply staring. So pulled herself up, and brushed off her jumper.

"So are you done closing up yet?" she asked, playfully to diffuse the tension. He smiled, and held up the keys.

"If you turn off the music, we can go," he said. She nodded, and turned to turn off the music. He bolted from the store, and locked her in. She looked up, and her mouth dropped. She ran to the door, and pounded on it.

"Steven!" she exclaimed, trying to sound angry. He dangled the keys at her through the window, and blatantly laughed and pretended to walk away. "Steven, if you don't let me out I'm breaking a window and taking half of your records!"

------------------------------------

Red was stumbling for the kitchen to a midnight glass of milk, when he saw Larry in his boxers and undershirt at the table, drinking milk as well.

"Larry?" Red asked. Larry looked up.

"Hey boss," he said, drinking the milk.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm on a date with your daughter." Red rolled his eyes, and Larry smiled genuinely at him. Red shook his head and left the kitchen.

FADE OUT