---
Four months later:
Kyouya sat behind his bedroom desk and leaned against the chair. "Pregnant. Kyouya, what did you get yourself into?" he muttered to himself, still unable to believe that he is going to be a father soon. "Pregnant."
He opened his desk drawer and look out his black ledger; the first page contained the picture of the Host Club taken during the school newspaper interview. He smirked. "Tamaki didn't change much." The brunet was about to return the notebook to its place when a note fell from it.
Kyouya picked it up, immediately aware of what it was. He opened it.
---
Ms. Fujioka,
As you probably know, I am not they type of person who lets his emotions rule above his head, but I am quite surprised however, to realize that I seem to have grown, if I might say, fond of you. Now, I am not in the habit of forcing my feelings on unsuspecting females, but if I may request, that if you have any sort of emotional attachment towards me, I do hope that you will allow me the chance to win your heart.
That is all I wish to say. I thank you for your time.
Kyouya Ohtori
---
The brunet closed his eyes in complete embarrassment, did he really write this? Thank God he never had a chance to give it to her. He would never have recovered from humiliation had the letter fell into the wrong hands.
Kyouya remembered that day well, he woke up and decided that he do something about those disturbing feeling of happiness whenever he's around Haruhi, his friend was nowhere near winning her heart and from the looks of it at that time, Tamaki had given up. He spent the day avoiding the Host Club members and decided to spend his lunchtime at the Gazebo in the middle of the Ouran garden. He just finished writing the said letter when the object of his affections arrived.
He was never able to give it, that same afternoon; Haruhi accepted a date with Tamaki and Kyouya decided, "That was that." She was obviously not meant to be with him. Besides, he would never deliberately steal his best friends' girlfriend; in fact, he'd give anything to see them happy together.
The only person witness to Kyouya's heartache was Morinozuka Takashi. The tall man seems to understand what he feels whenever he saw Tamaki and Haruhi together.
"Are you okay?" He once asked the shadow king when the two were left to straightened the music room.
Kyouya hid behind the mask he always wore. "Of course, there is no reason why I shouldn't be."
"Sooner or later, Tamaki will realize that you are in love with his girlfriend, why not just tell him?"
Mori really was an enigma, the brunet faced the senior, "I will not get between their relationship."
"He'll feel guilty. He'll think that he should have considered you before--"
"It's alright senpai. Tamaki will never find out."
"Ah."
---
Kyouya folded the letter and inserted it inside the black book; he left in on top of the desk. He then stood up and ran his fingers on his hair. Outside his bedroom window, skies were dark and rain was starting to pour.
His cell phone rang.
"Moshi Moshi?"
"Kyouya."
"Nee-chan, Is there something wrong?" He asked.
"Iie, I just wanted to hear your voice. What time is it there?"
"Around 9 in the evening. Gomen nee-chan, I should have called you."
"It's fine. Are you all right? You sound sick."
"Hai. I'm fine. The weather is a little cold. How are you? How's London?"
"Dull. Nothing to do. Is Haruhi all right? She's not having a bad time?"
"She's now four months pregnant. Akito-niichan said she'd be fine if she just stay in bed. It seems that pregnancy does not agree with her."
"Oh. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do? I can go to Japan if you want, she might need tips on pregnancy."
"She'd appreciate that. Arigato."
"Oh, it's alright Kyouya, you know I'd give any excuse to my husband just to see my favorite brother and his new wife!"
"He loves you."
"Yes, he does. I hope you love Haruhi the same way."
"I do."
---
He placed the phone down and eyed the sky; he heard the faint sound of thunder. "I better go see Haruhi."
Kyouya knocked on his wife's door. "Haruhi? May I come in?"
"Hai."
The brunet opened the entrance and found his wife seated on the window seat, staring at the pouring rain. He cleared his throat.
"Did you need anything?" She asked him.
"No. I was, a bit apprehensive. I recall you seem to…dislike the rain."
Haruhi laughed. "Oh, Kyouya, What I…dislike was thunder, not rain. I love rain, it soothes me."
"Was?"
His wife stood up. "I'm not scared of thunder anymore." She replied, touching the powder blue curtains on her windowsill. "I owe it all to you. Why don't you sit by me?" she asked, patting the empty space beside her.
"Hai. Arigato." He answered, and then sat beside her. She wrapped her arms around her legs.
Kyouya gave a little smile. His wife looked younger than her age. He let his eyes travel her face. She looked lonely, her naturally bright eyes, droopy at the corner. Her lips look pink and inviting.
She shivered.
"Why are you staring?" she asked.
He covered her shoulders with the purple shawl he brought with him, "Why do you owe it all to me? I don't recall ever comforting you from your fear."
She leaned against him, silently asking for comfort. Kyouya pulled her into his arms and into his lap. Haruhi wrapped her cold hands around her husband's neck and buried her face on his warm chest.
"You don't remember?" she whispered, raising her head, her breath fanning his face. "You came the day Tamaki left me."
The shadow king closed his eyes. Of course, how could he forget easily? There was a storm the night Tamaki confessed that he was marrying Éclair. The host club king called his home to tell him what he was going to do, Kyouya had tried to talk some sense into him but his friend had already decided that he had hurt Haruhi too much and wish to end both of their suffering. By the time Kyouya arrived at Haruhi's apartment, Tamaki was about to leave. The day ended with them fist fighting in the middle of the rain, and Haruhi spraining her ankle trying to stop them. In the end, the blond shook his head, and finally realized what his friend was going through.
"Kyouya…I didn't know. I'm sorry." He said while trying to help his ex-girlfriend. She pushed him away. "Don't touch me! I don't ever want to see you again!"
Kyouya carried her bridal style to her apartment. His friend stared at them both before facing the brunet.
"Take good care of her.," he said before leaving.
Somehow, Kyouya knew Tamaki meant it to be forever.
---
"You were there when he left me. That night, I stopped being afraid of thunder. It seemed silly to be scared of something so insignificant when the person I love just left me for another woman." She pressed a kiss on her husband's lips. "Thank you, I guess I owe it all to you."
The shadow king closed his eyes. "Do you still love him?" he whispered silently, afraid of what she might answer.
"I remember the person but I don't remember the feeling. What is love Kyouya? Is that when you crave for a certain someone so much that you can't thing straight? Or when you want to be with that person for the rest of your lives? Is that love?"
"I don't know."
Haruhi laid her hand on her husbands' cheek, "Your expression is so cold, but your face feels so warm. Why do you hide it Kyouya? Haven't you ever felt like shouting your feelings for everyone to feel? To see? Don't you feel alone being stoic most of the time? I can't understand you." He saw tears fall from her eyes. He wiped it away with his hand.
"Don't cry Haruhi. It pains me."
"Does it really? You barely talked to me since you found out I'm pregnant. You just sit there in silence. I don't know what you're thinking. Are you happy? Are you scared? Do you even feel anything?" She shouted at him, "God, Kyouya, do you even care?" She hit his chest with her fists.
The brunet let her. "You're just emotional. Onii-chan said that this is normal."
"Kyouya, please, you're my husband. Love me." Haruhi practically pleaded. "Please. I don't know what to do anymore."
He kissed her temple, then leaned down and kissed her eyes. "You're so soft." He whispered as his wife closed her eyes. Kyouya kissed the bridge of her nose. "So smart." He kissed her cold cheeks, "So beautiful."
Haruhi reached up and kissed his lips. Kyouya nipped her lower lip. "Haruhi?"
"Hai?"
"Ahh." He murmured.
"Ahh?" she questioned, her mouth forming the letter 'O'. Kyouya pushed his tongue inside, and touched it to her own pink one.
"So sweet."
She sighed. Then gave a start when her husband moved her body closer to him. She blushed.
"I can't control my body. Not when you're practically seated on…me." he teased.
"KYOUYA!" she hid her face on his neck. "You're…"
"I'm?"
She felt him grin. "Nice."
"To which part of me are you referring to?"
"KYOUYA!!" She whined like a child, "That's not what I meant." She defended; her husband continued kissing her face.
She shifted, feeling uncomfortable in her…seat.
He laughed. Then placed her gently on her soft bed. He felt her hands on his shirt. Haruhi undid all the buttons. Kyouya pushed her gently on the bed and bend forward, trapping her between his arms.
She waited. Watched him watch her. He didn't do anything.
"Was I supposed to say go?" she asked him hesitantly.
Her husband gave a little smile, and then slowly, gently hugged her small frame. She felt him tremble.
"Are you okay?" she whispered in his ear.
"I'm sorry Haruhi. I can't." he answered softly then stood up and left her.
---
Haruhi buried her face in her pillow, "What did I do? How could I have done that?!" she berated herself, tears running down her cheeks. "Kyouya doesn't love you. Why can't you just accept it?"
She sat up and wrapped her arms around herself. Her husband had been distant since he found out she was pregnant. Oh, he takes care of her well enough, providing for whatever she and the baby needs. But he doesn't talk. He doesn't ask her how she's feeling; he never asks how she is. She hated his silence.
Kyoua Ohtori was colder than ever.
Haruhi walked towards her vanity mirror and sat on her powder blue chair. She stared at herself.
"Why do I hurt so much? Why do I feel this way? I don't love him. Do I?" she whispered. The girl in front of her looked pitiful. Her eyes were red. Her lips, swollen, her hair curled around her face and appeared messy.
Haruhi didn't like what she saw. "I didn't use to be like this. What have you done to me?"
Nothing.
Her cell phone rang.
"Hello?" she answered, sniffing.
"Haruhi, are you okay?" Tamaki's voice filled the stillness of her room.
"I'm fine."
"I just called, because…well,…because it's raining and there's thunder..and I…I…are you sure you're okay?"
Her brown eyes glistened. "I'm alright Tamaki, thank you for worrying."
"Did something happen? Is the baby alright?"
"Yes, I… feel…lost." She whispered to him, knowing that he understood her.
"Oh Haruhi, Is it your heart?" He asked.
"I don't know," she sobbed. "I don't understand myself anymore. Kyouya's brother said it's probably the hormones."
"Do you want someone to talk to? I can come over now."
"No. No. I would never impose on Éclair."
The blond laughed, "Don't worry. She understands us well." Then he talked softly, "Haruhi, Kyouya, is the way he is because he was brought up that way. The pressure from his father trapped the real Kyouya inside a thick, cold wall. Let him out."
"I don't understand."
"I know you do, you just don't want to face it. Let yourself go, hold out your hand to him the way you did to me."
"He didn't accept it." she cried sadly. "He didn't accept me."
"Then you're not trying hard enough. You're father would be very disappointed." He murmured.
"Tamaki?"
"Hai?"
"Why are you being mean to me?"
"One of you needs to wake up. And I doubt if it's going to be Kyouya." He answered with a smile in his voice.
Haruhi laughed. "I miss the old, sweet, idiotic Tamaki."
"Don't worry Hime, I'm still here."
---
She dropped her phone on her bed and took a deep breath. They needed to finish this now. She can't go on like this anymore, wondering what's going to happen in the future. If they even have a future.
She gently knocked on her husband's bedroom door and slowly opened it.
---
"Stupid Kyouya, that was the stupidest thing you've ever done. How can you let go of her like that?!" his conscience scolded him.
"Because it's wrong. She doesn't really want me, it's just her hormones."
"She practically begged you and you left her just like that?!"
"I might hurt her again." He murmured softly, hating himself.
Kyouya closed his door and opened the lights. He stared. "What are you doing in my house, at this hour and in my bed?" he asked the green-eyed girl seated at the foot of his mattress.
"Your maids let me in. I made myself comfortable. How is your pregnant wife?" Mika inquired, raising her perfectly plucked eyebrow. "Does she hate you even more?"
"I'm not in the mood to talk tonight." He turned his back on her and pressed the intercom, "I'll ask the maid to arrange a guest room for you."
The oil heiress stood and approached him; she wrapped her arms around his midriff then rubbed her face on his back. "Mmm.. Kyouya, you smell like warm chocolate. Did you drink some?"
He removed her hands, "Please, Mika, now is not the time for this stupidity." He calmly said before he walked away from her and opened the door to the hallway.
Mika closed the door and shoved him in his bed, then, she sat on his stomach. "This isn't stupid Kyouya. It's called love."
"No. It's called lust." The brunet tried to sit up. She kissed his mouth. He stayed immobile.
Someone opened the door to the adjoining room.
"Kyouya, may I--" Haruhi stared in shock. "Excuse me." she said before she closed the door. She needed to get away from here.
The former shadow king closed his eyes. "Please get off me. I need to go after my wife." He sounded broken.
She moved away from him and sat on his bed. "Kyouya, I love you, she can't give you what you need. I can! You know I can!" she sobbed. She felt him touch her head.
"I'm sorry." He apologized, then left her.
---
She ran away as fast as she could, outside the mansion, rain was pouring hard. Her feet felt like heavy and her stomach hurt, someone grabbed her hand.
"Go away! Let go of me! You won't sleep with me but you'd fuck that woman?!" She screamed at the man who wrapped her in his embrace.
"You misunderstood."
"No. I'm tired of all this Kyouya Ohtori, you suck the life out of me!" she touched her belly, trying to ease the sudden sharp pain. "You love your wall so much that you won't even let me inside it. Just let me go!" Haruhi felt her stomach contract; "I don't want to be with you anymore! I hate you, you son of a—AHHH." She suddenly collapsed, "It hurts, Kyouya, it hurts." She gripped his arms.
"I'm losing the baby." She whimpered before she lost all consciousness.
---
"For God sakes, Can't you do anything?!" Kyouya shouted at his brother, his wife was in a stretcher, her dress soaked with her own blood.
"I'm trying, okay? I'm trying!" his brother answered, "Get out of here! I can't work if you shout at my ear every second."
He touched her hand, "Haru, you'll be alright." He touched his lips on her forehead, "Stay awake, please stay awake." He pleaded.
Nothing.
"Haruhi, you need to wake up." He shook her softly. She muttered something incoherent.
The brunet hugged her, "Wake up, wake up."
She stirred. "Kyouya?" she called hoarsely.
"Hai, I'm here love. I'm here." He answered.
"Love?" was her last thought before her body gave in.
---
He sat inside his brother's dark clinic. He purposely turned off the lights.
"I'm sorry Kyouya," Akito touched his shoulder, looking forlorn, "Your baby didn't make it."
The brunet felt a tear roll down his cheek.
And for the first time in his life, he hated his own shadows.
---
A/N: The end. No. it's not, don't worry, I still have a chapter (or two) to write But I made it clear from the start that I will be brutal about this story. So I'm hoping you understood that by now.