Chapter 11- Regret Tonight- Damian's POV:
WARRNING: Possible M rating in some parts of this and later chapters. You have been told, I'm no longer responsible!
I woke amongst a scramble of empty sheets, the room looking similar to that of a bomb site. I'd seen a fair few in my time, most of them by my own hands. This? This was Terra's mess. She liked putting on a show, and she was good at it.
Zane stood in the doorway, smirking. I sat up, running a hand through my hair. "Not one word Zane. Just...don't!"
"Oh come on! You can't tell me you didn't enjoy that!" I looked around the floor, desperately searching for my boxers. I wouldn't let him see my face. If he did he'd know. He always knew. "Well fine, don't tell me! ... I heard enough last night to satisfy me."
I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose, desperate for a subject change, a distraction...anything really, just so long as the attention wasn't on my sex life. I felt so guilty. I was using Terra, and I couldn't help but feel like this was all my fault.
I was the reason she was here. Why didn't I just ignore her? Why couldn't she just have been another homeless woman on the street? Why did I care? I knew for a fact I didn't love her as Zane made me pretend to... but I did love her.
Maybe my definition of love was screwed up. Was love to want to spend the rest of your life together? Was love just the want of sex? I didn't think so. Love, by my definition, was to care about somebody enough that you wouldn't want to see them get hurt or make a mistake. Love was the want to protect those you felt closest to, to the point of risking your own life.
Under that definition, I did love Terra, as though she were my sister...but, by that same definition...I also loved Zane. Now, don't get me wrong, I'd give my right arm to save him...but sometimes...he was a lot more trouble than he was worth!
"Enough about me...lets' talk about you!" Zane put his hand to his hart, raising is eyebrows in mock surprise.
"Why Damian, I had no idea you felt this way!" I rolled my eyes, wrapping the closest sheet around my waist as makeshift towel.
"How's your master plan coming along?" I wandered slowly about the room, looking for my clothes, trying desperately to avoid Zane's glance.
"The invitations are sent, the band and caterers booked and the bait set. All that's left is for them to show up!"
"How can you be sure they'll show?" I don't know why I was so worried about this. Maybe it was Katie. I'd searched for her for so long...the thought of her dying by my hands was almost too much to bear. But it had to be done. She wasn't my sister anymore...she'd stopped being that when she stopped being human. This new Katie would do whatever it took to get the job done...I had to do this...for the good of thousands. Zane smiled evilly.
"Because we have the one bait they can't refuse!"
Katie's POV:
I opened my eyes to the feeling of soft, morning light on my cheek. I was in the infirmary...again, lying on the very edge of my single bed. The rest was taken up by Legolas and Artemis, each claiming a rough half.
I smiled, rolling lightly off the bed and hauling myself into the nearby armchair with great effort. My leg remained a throbbing reminder of the day before...a day I wish I could forget. When I got my hands on those spiders, they'd wish they'd never been born!
I was half a day's ride as the horse runs...these people really had screwed my head up! Anyway, that's not the point. I could see the king's halls on the horizon, and the promise of home, my family and my own bed was a sweet one. Sure I had enjoyed seeing Fae, but...I missed my little girl.
Legolas sent two of the girls from my class out to escort me home. There had been recent spider sightings along the edge of our little town. All the elves were on high alert, the guards doubled and swords and spears sharpened to perfection.
We were about to break cover of the trees, entering the training ground...but the spiders had other plans. One guard was killed instantly, throwing herself between me and spider. The look in her eyes as she was dragged away haunting, still terrified...even in death.
I'd seen plenty of dead bodies in my time. But I dare you, try looking into the eyes of someone who had sacrificed their life to save you, so scared, yet so confident that they were doing the right thing. If that doesn't haunt you, touch you...really make you think about life...there's something wrong with you.
Terror over took her partner and she was dragged away screaming before either of us could do anything. My horse bolted back into the heart of the forest, no doubt to its doom. I was almost taken with them. I turned my back on a spider I thought was dead. I would never make that mistake again. My leg had suffered severe damage...or, so I'd heard, coupled with a head trauma and some cuts and bruises.
I looked thoughtfully out the window, thinking of the events of the past few weeks. Terra disappearing, the spider attack...but one thing stood out above all else. It wasn't so much something Galadriel said as what I saw in her eyes. She guarded them well in my company, but she wasn't as smart as she thought she was.
She knew a war was coming, a war between men and elves that would decide the fates of all. That was why Terra had been sent away; hopefully taking out the ringleaders before any real harm could be done. Galadriel had also let something else slip... something she was desperate to keep secret.
No one really knew to what extent I was an elf, or if I was still a human deep down inside. But after 5000 years... everyone just started assuming I was like them. Galadriel knew differently. When an elf was slain, they then went on to the halls of Mandos, where they would be held before eventually being allowed to return.
It was a comforting thought that if anything should happen to my family, I would one day see them again...I only wish they could have the same comfort. If I died...I died. That was it. All over red rover! Done like a dinner! The end! I would never return! I'd already had my second chance, and I would take the fate that Ilúvatar had planned for me.
That was why Galadriel was trying so hard to stop this war...she was trying to protect me. I didn't need protecting! Why did everybody suddenly think I couldn't look after myself? I'm a big girl now... I don't need people looking over my should and holding my hand every step of the way. What hurt even more though was her reasoning.
Galadriel never did anything for me...to her, I was just an inconvenience. She only cared about grandchildren by blood. The only reason she kept me around was because of fear. Fear of rejection from her family for willing letting someone they considered a sibling or daughter die...fear of the force of Mirkwood. Lorien was strong, but she couldn't be sure that they would back her in a fight against her March Warden.
It cut to know that someone dear to me didn't care if I lived or died...but I was used to it.
"Mummy!" Artemis threw herself into my arms, winding me and bringing me back to the real world. "Mummy I missed you so much and we were all so worried about you and the spiders tried to eat us but Daddy chased them away and..."
I smiled, holding up a hand to silence her. "One at a time! I'm not going anywhere. You can tell me everything later, but right now...isn't there someone waiting for you in the library?" Artemis' excitement quickly turned to a childish pout.
"But Mummy! I don't want to go to school today!" I shot her a disbelieving look. Artemis spent every second that she wasn't outside training or playing with friends in the library, her head bent over some dusty old book, soaking up all it had to offer her.
Artemis sighed, quickly kissing my check and hurrying out of the infirmary door, nearly knocking over another patient in her mad sprint. I chuckled under my breath, shooting an apologetic look at the poor elf that had almost been knocked over.
"You shouldn't be up." Legolas smiled up at me from his position on the bed, his tousled hair causing a small snort of laughter to escape my lips.
"Well, there was no room for me in it with you two taking up the best part!" Legolas smiled sheepishly, offering me a hand. I took it, allowing myself to be dragged carefully back onto the bed. There we lay face to face, our fingers intertwined and our lips brushing against each other's now and again.
"You gave us a hell of a fright, you know?" Legolas' voice broke the comfortable silence, leaving an awkward pause in its place. "There was...a moment there...we ...we didn't think you were going to wake up." I took Legolas' face between both my hands, forcing him to look me dead in the eye.
"Legolas, you don't have to worry about me. Trust me, I'm one tough cookie...and I have too much to live for to let it all slip away." I paused, letting my words sink in. Legolas smiled and locked his lips with mine, carefully knotting a hand in my blood matted hair. I pulled away slightly, looking him in the eye.
"And the rest of it. I know that wasn't the only thing bothering you." Legolas sighed and rolled onto his back, avoiding my gaze.
"It's...not important. You don't need to worry about it." I raised an eyebrow, hoping he could feel my disapproving stare.
"If it's not important, then won't hurt to tell me. Legolas, by not telling me, it makes me think I need to worry!" I leaned closer so my breath tickled the tips of his ears, making them turn a lovely shade of pink. "Please?"
Legolas sighed, turning back to face me. "I had a fight with father. Are you happy now?" He may have seemed fine with it to the untrained eye, but I saw how much it pained him. His father was extremely tough on him; he always had to be perfect... the best at everything.
To Thranduil, everything was a test that determined whether or not you could have power. Legolas understood that he was next in line to the throne of Mirkwood, and the thought of all that power and responsibility scared him... not that he'd ever admit that.
He desired nothing more than his father's acceptance, but he knew that was a close to impossible dream.
"About?" I pushed him for information. I could have just looked and found out myself, but over the years, you learnt to respect other people's privacy. Legolas paused, waging an internal war.
"You. He says that you're too wild, that you should be chained to the halls to do women's work and leave war to the males." I snorted. Fat chance! Legolas chuckled. "I told him you'd say that! But that is not the problem. He thought you were going to die...and that got him thinking about my duty."
"As willing and capable as Artemis is...he will never allow a woman to take the throne." Legolas sounded as outraged as I felt. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Legolas...you know I can't... Artemis was a miracle and it still almost killed me!" I felt myself tearing up. I'd done so much work over the years to gain equal rights for women, but I guess some traditions could not be overturned in a day by one person. This rule was far older than me...far older even than Thranduil.
This rule dated back to the first age, and Thranduil would make sure it was upheld.
"Don't worry. I'll sort it. He'll just have to accept it or find a new heir...and well all know he's spent too long training me to be the perfect king to find or produce another heir." I chuckled...I was bad influence on that boy!
"Um...sorry to interrupt, but my mum wants to see you." Legolas and I both turned to the doorway, spotting a very happy Jess and Elladan leaning against the doorframe, Jessica's hands folded over her swollen stomach and Elladan's arm on her waist.
I smiled. They looked like a family already. Only Elladan's eyes gave him away. He was tired, he was stressed, he was scared...and if I knew my brother, which beyond reason I claimed I did, he would very soon excuse himself and go in search of a stiff drink.
I sat up with great effort, every bone in my body, though mostly my right leg, ached. I flopped back down.
"Can I have an hour?"
I walked...well, walked was probably too optimistic an approach...it was more of a hobble. I hobbled into the hall and found Tywein in deep council with the King. I bowed respectfully, trying not to let the murderous glint show in my eyes.
"Tywein, you called?" Tywein's eyes were troubled and her face set in a serious scowl. In her hands, she fingered a scrap of blood soaked paper, the gold ink of the writing glittering as she turned it in the dim light.
"We found this note pinned to the tunic of a young woman who was entrusted with the protection of these borders. She was held a metre off the ground...impaled on her own spear into the trunk of an Ent. If it weren't for the damn thing bellowing, we probably wouldn't have found her another few hours." I bowed my head.
Could this week get any worse?
"Of course it could!" A voice I hadn't heard for a very long time answered.
"Aragorn! It's been a while. Where did you go?" I wanted to hug him. That's how bad my week was. I wanted to hug a figment of my own imagination. How do you hug a person who only really exists in your mind.
I felt Aragorn's mouth set into a hard line, his eyebrows arched.
"I don't do hugs!" I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing out loud. Given what was currently going on around me, now was not the time to be laughing. "Now tune back in. This is important!"
Tywein stood straight in front of me now, holding the note in my face.
"It's addressed to you." I blinked, slowly reaching for the note. Tywein pulled in back slightly and began pacing around me like a vulture at feeding time.
"Is it not your job to train these women? How was she able to be impaled to a tree without any other guards being alerted?" I could see where this was going. She was going to ask me how long this girl had been trained and blame my teaching skills. She was going to make this all my fault.
I gulped and gripped Legolas' hand tighter.
"Yes, it is." Tywein smiled forcefully at me, her eyes burning with a fire. I flinched under her gaze. This wasn't my fault...and who did she think she was to try and blame it on me.
"Her name was Tuarwen. Did you teach her?" I internally cursed. She had been training with me for only a year now...but it was long enough that she should have been able to at least call for help.
"Yes, I did. She was a good student... Very good with a sword." Tywein raised an eyebrow.
"Then why was she so easily defeated. Why did she not call for help?" I paused. That was a good question, one I could only think of one answer for...but it wasn't going to look good.
"She was very cocky. She hated team work and liked being in charge. She probably thought she could handle it. And I said she was good with a sword. Didn't you say she was armed with a spear? It worst choice of weapon she could have possibly chosen. That is my best and final guess. Now, if you are done accusing me of something that was not my fault and insulting my battle skills and instincts, I want the note, as it is mine! If you wish to continue to waste your time on this...let's take it outside. I've kicked your ass before; I can and will do it again!"
Tywein sneered. "Not on that leg you wouldn't." She threw me the note, turning to talk to the king. I slowly opened the still damp, blood stained paper.
Katherine,
Not many people still called me Katherine, they had all just come to accept that I was Katie. I took a deep breath and continued.
Katherine,
You and your people have three weeks to leave or there will be war. You are a danger to the community and if you resist we will kill you.
Don't try anything stupid. We have a friend of yours. Does the name Terra ring a bell?
Do as we say or she will die... and then it will be your turn.
P.S. – I never stopped loving you...and more than anything, this is payback for that night.
-Zane
I limped down the corridor towards my room. Legolas had not seen the note...and he never would...not as long as I lived and breathed. White flames shot up my leg, causing me to cry out in pain and frustration.
I threw myself down into the corner, curling all but my injured leg up into a little ball.
"Are you alright?" Elladan sat in the corner opposite me, his head buried in a tankard of ale and another three empty ones lying next to him. How I hadn't noticed him before was beyond me, but he defiantly looked like he'd been there for a while and had no intentions of moving anytime soon.
I nodded, moving closer to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. The stench was almost unbearable, ale mixed with pipe weed. I gagged.
"Elladan?" He looked up to meet my eye, his own serious and brimming with tears. I moved my hand slowly toward the tankard, keeping his eyes locked on mine. My hand gripped the handle and I pulled it slowly back towards myself. "What's wrong?"
Elladan fell back against the wall, exhaustion taking him. "I'm drinking my troubles away." I sighed, rubbing my aching leg. I almost knew how he felt...to be so afraid of the future and the past that the only way to escape it was by burying your head in a mug of ale.
I'd done that one too many times before...and it had almost killed me. I placed a hand on Elladan's shoulder, bending my head to look deep into his eyes. "Elladan, you can't keep doing this. You need to stop before it's too late. I was where you were once... it ruined my life...or at least what was left of it. Please! You have so much to live for...don't throw it all away."
Elladan smiled up at me. "We elves are nowhere near as fragile as humans...I don't think it can do me much harm..." He paused, looking thoughtful. "It's just...I do not know what I am supposed to do."
"You're supposed to be next to her, holding her hand and telling her everything will be ok. That's all you're obliged to do. You don't need to worry about letting her or her child down. You just being there is more than she asked for, and if that is not enough for her...just...relax."
Elladan bit his lip, holding back the flood of tears I could see swimming in his eyes. "She expects me to act like a father...but how can I? I mean, look at me; Drunk and crying in a corner! I've probably slept with every elleth in all three elven kingdoms and insist on being an annoying little..."
"Elladan!" I interrupted, taking a swig of the ale in my hand. My eyes opened wide and I felt the burn in my mouth and throat burning as the liquid slid roughly down. I choked, leaning into Elladan's shoulder for support. "Firstly, what the hell is in this?"
Elladan grinned from ear to ear, clapping me over the back.
"It is my own special blend. The homebrews of Thranduil, Celeborn and father mixed with spiced wine and dwarf ale!" I shot him a disbelieving look. It was a wonder he was still conscious after almost four tankards of the stuff let alone making coherent sentences...then again...my brother had a very high tolerance to alcohol.
"Right... well, no more for you. Secondly, why are you so worried? Out of you and Jess I think that Jess has more reason to be worried than you." I grasped Elladan's hand, bringing my lips to his forehead. Elladan sighed, leaning into the base of my neck.
"I can't help but worry. You know me better than anyone Katie...even better than Elrohir...you know my reputation. Jess sure chose the worst role model possible for her child." Elladan gripped me closer, leaning deeper into my chest and knotting a hand in my hair.
Elladan looked up into my eyes; his own filled with tears and pure love. He held my gaze for a moment, before lunging forward, his lips capturing my own with deadly force. My mind froze and all logical thought turned to what had just happened. My body switched to autopilot, my lips meeting his with equal force and my hands using their position in his hair to pull him closer.
Elladan manoeuvred his way on top of me while still managing to assault my lips, his fingers pulling at the ties of my gown. My mind suddenly kicked into gear, struggling to regain control of my body. I gently pulled away, our laboured breathing mingling in the small space between us.
"Elladan?" I grabbed his chin, forcing him to hold my gaze. "Are you sure you've only had four of those?" I jerked my head at the empty tankards. "One would expect you would still have enough wit about you to see how this is wrong."
Elladan sighed, leaning back against the wall and running a hand through his now lose hair. It seems my grip was tighter than I'd thought. "I know. I'm...I'm sorry Katie. It's just...You are the best friend I have at the moment."
A door in the adjoining corridor creaked open. "Elladan?" Jessica's voice held a hint of panic though she sounded more as though she were speaking to herself. Elladan shot me a panicked look. All this time, Jess had used him as her rock and he couldn't bear the thought of her seeing him like this. I nodded, motioning for him to move around the other corner and out of sight.
Elladan shot me a grateful smile, ducking silently out of sight. "Jess?" I slurred my words, picking up the still half full tankard at my side. Me collapsing in a corridor would raise questions, me drunk in a corridor was explainable and believable enough to work.
Jess rounded the corner, almost falling over me. "Katie? What the hell...are you drunk?" I smiled childishly, concentrating on my feet. "Oh dear lord!"
"What? My leg hurts and found the best medication...the stuff they give you in the infirmary does NOTHING!" I smiled inwardly at my babble. I wasn't a half bad actress. Jess sighed.
"Wait here." She turned to leave before thinking better of it, instead, turning to scoop the tankard from my hand before hurrying down the corridor. Once she was out of earshot, I signalled for Elladan, a look of amusement plastered over his face.
"You are such a bad drunk." Elladan laughed, punching me playfully in the arm. I rubbed the spot and glared.
"You owe big time brother. Thranduil's going to kick my sorry ass for this...and one his rants is defiantly not something I want to face sober. You have three hours, now go!"
"I do owe you! Thank you little sister." He leaned down to kiss my check, his lips hovering above my own for a fraction of a second before pulling away and racing down the corridor. I flopped back against the wall, trying to ignore the throbbing in my head as it hit the stone. The things that boy got me into: The drinking competition with the dwarf lords, letting Elladan and Elrohir try and shoot an apple from on top of my head – It wouldn't have bothered me usually, Elladan and Elrohir are both great shots...but drunk? That's a whole new matter completely- , my short lived addiction to hallucinogenic mushrooms.
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Thranduil would have my head for this, and it wasn't even my fault. The king was already disapproving of me, this may just be enough to push him over the edge. Then what? Would I be killed? Banished? Imprisoned? I could not say, but I knew, it would be painful.
The sound of hurried footsteps down the corridor got my attention, my instincts pushing me back against the wall, ready to face whatever came next. I closed my eyes, silently praying to Ilúvatar. The footsteps halted and I could feel the disapproving glare burning my skin.
"Thank you Jessica, just...can we keep this quiet?" I cracked open one eye, just wide enough to catch a glimpse of the man standing in front of me. A door slammed shut, making me flinch and a very familiar, welcome laughter rumbled through the hall. "Get up, we're late!"
I smiled and grabbed Legolas' arm, painfully hauling myself to my feet.
Tywein paced around the confines or the hall, the king watching her intently. Ceildë sat beside him, looking at something only she could see and muttering and flinching occasionally. I can't believe I'd been dragged all the way here for this. An hour later and still no one had spoken a word.
I tapped my foot absentmindedly, earning me a glare from the king. I quickly stoped, instead focusing on a small crack in the floor.
"We must stop this war." Tywein suddenly stated, making everyone on the room jump. "We cannot allow this war to happen. We have not the strength to withhold them."
"Mirkwood alone cannot withhold them, but we have our allies." Thranduil's eyes glinted with the lust for battle that would never be satisfied. I stood, using Legolas' shoulder as a support.
"My lord, you are not listening to your advisor. We have allies, yes, but think of how many will answer the call. The hobbits? They are not so stupid. They would not come if lined the road with food. They wish only to live in peace and that is where they will stay. The dwarves? They would be willing indeed, too willing in fact. We cannot house the whole of Moria! But in any case, many a dwarf has not seen sky or open ground for centuries and the journey here is long. Some will not risk it and those that do will arrive too few and too late. The elves? They would come, I know it in my heart, though not willingly would they fight, only as a last resort would they draw their swords, but all of this will take time...time I fear we do not have."
Thranduil glared at me, almost daring me to flinch. I stood straighter, raising my chin indignantly. Legolas sighed, gripping my hand tighter, reminding me that I had to play this carefully. "Be silent! You speak with your heart and not your head."
My eyebrow shot up and I snorted in a most unladylike fashion, causing Tywein to shoot me a murderous glare. It was really at this point I should have sat down, I could have saved myself a world of pain, but my ego was more than slightly bruised and like any stupid, arrogant person, I could not damage it further by admitting defeat.
"My heart has no authority on this matter, though if I might be allowed to speak it, it sees much darker things at work here than any of us suspect. I know Zane and Damian. They are cunning and influential. They have the power to summon a strength far greater than we, and if we attack now, as I know Tywein shall suggest, we shall only show that we are a threat and their forces will grow. If war must come of this then yes, let us be ready, but if can make peace, why shouldn't we?"
Legolas moved his arm to my waist and held it in a crushing grip, though what this was in aid of only he knew, and I would not break my staring competition with Thranduil to find out.
"It is not your decision to make! I am king, and I will not be spoken to thus by a woman!" My jaw dropped, and I saw red. I had spent so long fighting for equal rights for women, so they could be soldiers or whatever else they wanted to do with their lives, but Thranduil had never accepted that. To him, women would always be below him, even if it was his own wife.
"And I will not be spoken to thus by a man! Fine Thranduil, do whatever you think best, but no matter the outcome, it is on you! It is your fault if this fails, it is your fault if our innocent die! I will not have this blamed on me as you have done with all your other mistakes! I have warned you, and I will not be held responsible because our king is a STUCK UP PRAT WITH HIS HEAD UP HIS ARSE WHO CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO LISTEN TO REASON!"
I stormed towards the door as best I could while my leg struggled to support me. I just couldn't take him anymore. I got it from my mum. We were the type of people who bottled everything, remembered everything and then one tiny thing pushed us over the edge we snapped in massive way. I stopped, my hand on the door handle, very aware of the eyes focused on me and the stunned silence that almost seemed to echo around the room. I turned back to Thranduil. Much of the anger had faded from my face, replaced by a look of hatred.
"You may not like me, but my aim in life is not to be like by everyone and it is certainly not to please you. Oh, and you can count us women out as your allies. If you don't need us then go ahead and prove it! But I promise you, before the end of this war, you will need us, and you will come crawling back, begging on your hands and knees. That I know, and that is a promise I'm prepared to bet my life on! Above all else, I can't wait to laugh in your face and see the look in your eyes when you finally admit you're wrong."
I turned and threw open the door, storming out into the hallway, and making sure the door gave a satisfying slam.
Hey ya'll, sorry about the holdup but my teachers enjoy torturing their students with endless essays! Well, go Katie if you ask me! REVIEW! PLEASE! I'm failing Drama for you guys, a couple of second of your time is all I ask! Remember if you have any questions or ideas you can drop me an email at . Thanks so much for reading and I really hope you liked it! =D
Luv ya'll!
Lostypoo!