Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto

Lee and Gaara sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Gaara's POV.

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT MAY BE DISTURBING TO YOUR BELIEFS!

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STIGMA

Undici

It had been two years since I last spoke to Lee. I kept an eye out for him but didn't dare to see him in person. Sometimes, I would send Sasori out on errands to Konoha and have him bring me back news of Lee. Lee was doing well as an officer and had received recognition for his heroic contribution to Konoha. Tsunade kept her promise of keeping her hands off him, though there had been growing tension with Lee snooping too close to her business. Sasori's check-up on Lee always ended up with one note: Lee was still single. I was a selfish man and was happy to know that Lee hadn't found anyone else and that as far as I was concerned, he still belonged to me. It gave me a hope that, maybe, one day I would be able to be with him again and treat him like he deserved.

Matsuri and I wedded as Temari had planned. The wedding was lavish. Our people as well as the civilians came to give us their blessings. On our wedding night, I performed my husbandly duty. Lovemaking was a wondrous feeling and I admitted that I enjoyed myself with her as I was young and had needs that needed to be satisfied. But it didn't stop me from growing disgusted of myself. I loathed that I was doing such a special thing with someone I didn't love, that I was cheating Matsuri and using her for my own means. Our bed grew cold seven months into our marriage. It was then that Matsuri began to realize that she was in a loveless marriage. Naturally, I asked her if she wanted a divorce.

"No, I… I still love you, and I… I'm happy that I get to be with you, you know?"

Three months later, she announced that she was pregnant. She believed that having a child together would strengthen our marriage. I saw it otherwise. But the house was still filled up with joy. Temari was, needless to say, very pleased that I was going to have an heir soon. The nine months of pregnancy were a rollercoaster ride. Instead of becoming closer as most parents did, we drifted further apart. I was attending meetings with other Kages while she was going to birthing classes. Every time I saw her, her belly became bigger and she became more emotional. She would yell at me for tricking her into the marriage. Minutes later, she would beg me not to leave her because she needed me in her life. I tried to be a good husband but I couldn't. I simply lacked the talents to be a supportive spouse. I was uncaring, occupied with work, and uninterested in her well-being. As her pregnancy advanced, she slept in a different room. My bed grew even colder. In the lonely nights, I would think about Lee and wonder if there was someone in his bed with him. I secretly hoped that his bed was as empty as mine.

Matsuri gave birth to a daughter. It was difficult picking out a name because everyone had a different opinion. To put an end to the madness, the task of giving my daughter her name fell upon me. I named her Karura after my mother. It was a name that everyone liked. Karura had Matsuri's hair and facial structure a high nose, soft pouting lips, and bright eyes. The color of her eyes, taking after mine, was an alluring aqua. Chiyo said she possessed the beauty of a mystical siren and would grow up to be a woman of unparallel grace and beauty. I knew she was exaggerating a bit, but I hoped the same. When she was first born, I felt little connection with her. She was just another baby in the world to me. But when she opened her eyes and stared right at me, it hit me finally that I was a father. I knew then that she was my other most precious person, right at the top next to Lee. Though there was a child in the house, Temari was still not completely satisfied. She wanted a son.

Karura was four months old now and had started to be more vocal. I spent as much time as I could with her. I watched her, played with her, and held her in my arms while she drifted off to sleep. Matsuri and I were closer now that we were parents. She moved back into the master bedroom and slept next to me at night. Sometimes, I would roll over and put my arms around her waist. She would lean back against me and we would look like a normal, functional couple. Other times, I would keep to my side and stare at the ceiling, wondering what Lee was doing.

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Temari and I were as distant as before. She made no attempt to repent for what she did and I had no intention of ever forgiving her. She played her role of an aunt, spending a lot of time with Karura. There were times when I wanted to tell her not to touch my daughter. Then I remembered back to my own childhood and how horrible it was to be alone, so I decided that as long as Temari didn't instill her strange beliefs in Karura, I would let her interact with my child. We didn't speak to each other until one day when I summoned her to my office. I had received interesting news about my dear sister.

"Gaara, we haven't talked in two years. What is it?" In the two years, Temari had aged slightly. She was turning 29 soon and didn't look to have any plan to settle down with someone. It was exactly the reason why I had wanted to see her.

"How's the baby?"

"Baby…?" There was a flicker in her eyes. She looked away for a short second and looked back at me. "You mean Karura? She's fine, but you should pay more attention to her."

"I see. But what I'm interested in knowing is: How's your baby?"

Temari closed her mouth. The smug smile on her face disappeared as the corners of her lips dragged down. She narrowed her eyes and looked at me with defiance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"How far along are you now? Four months? Have you started showing yet?"

Temari swallowed hard. Her eyes hardened and she began a staring contest with me. "You knew."

"You didn't think anything can go on in this house without me knowing, did you?"

Temari kept her mouth shut. She was looking more furious by the seconds.

"Do you plan to keep the baby?"

"Yes. Of course."

"No, I want you to get an abortion."

Temari opened her eyes wide and snorted out a laugh. "It's not up to you what I do with my baby."

"I won't allow the bastard to be born."

"Ha, what is this, Gaara? Revenge?"

"Yes. I want you to know how it feels when you're forced to do something that hurts you so deeply."

"I'm going to have my baby and there is nothing you can do about it." Temari glared at me, like she was challenging me to prove her wrong.

"As long as you live in my house, you'll live by my rules."

"Fine. I'll move out." She gave me a mocking look. She stood up from the chair and took a step toward the door.

"Where are you going, Temari?"

"I'm leaving. Isn't this what you wanted? You hate me, don't you? You hate me for breaking you up with that man. Well, you'll be happy to know that I don't want anything to do with you anymore. I'm leaving for good." She walked to the door and pulled on the knob.

"Temari…"

She opened the door and stepped out. I bolted up from my chair. All my pent-upped feelings toward her exploded out of me. She was right: I did hate her for what she did and I wanted to ruin her life. The table had turned. I was the one in power and she was under my mercy. Temari stopped when I slammed my hand on the desk.

"Temari, if you take one step out of this house, I will kill you." I meant it. I felt not one drop of love for her. She was already dead to me long ago when she ripped away the one person that I loved. Call me spiteful, call me cruel, but I wanted to destroy her completely. "I will kill you, and your baby, and the man you love."

"Gaara… You…!" Her shoulders heaved. Her reaction was exactly how I imagined it. How should one handle a death threat from her own brother?

"You brought this upon yourself."

Temari drew a shuddering breath. She gritted her teeth and shook her head in disbelief. I sat back down and calmed my racing heart. I must be a sadistic man. It felt good to see Temari in tears. It was the closest I had felt toward her in a long while, now that we were suffering because of each other. She had one hand on the door knob and another on her belly.

"I will let you know when your abortion is scheduled. You may go back to your room now."

She stormed out of my office and slammed the door behind her. I picked up the phone and asked Sasori to locate an abortion clinic and schedule an appointment. I also told him to alert everyone of Temari's house arrest.

"If she tries to leave," I instructed Sasori, "then she's a traitor. They'll know what to do with traitors."

Sasori helped me find out that Temari had been seeing a man named Shikamaru for the past year. She kept it a secret because he was from Konoha. He was actually Tsunade's consigliere. For someone his age to be in that position, he must be a very smart and intelligent man. I did wonder if Temari was seduced by him for Konoha's advantages. I hoped she wasn't foolish enough to give out any of our information to him. She was definitely a traitor and I made it public to everyone. Baki was sorely disappointed. Kankuro was as well. He spent half an hour spitting profanity at her and calling her a "stupid whore". My mission was complete and I was satisfied for a short moment. As I realized that it didn't change anything that Temari was in misery, I only felt more miserable. I still broke Lee's heart. I still lived in a loveless marriage. I still had a ruined family. Temari's pain only added onto my own pain. My fit of rage did more harm than good.

And again, this was only the beginning of my troubles.

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Boyue's Note: I'm going to try to finish this fiction soon. So I can work on a new one that's forming in my head. xDD

Someone in a forum thought Gaara x Lee was a disturbing couple. I laughed at his ignorance. D:

12.03.08

11:46 PM