What I Call Life
Disclaimer: I'm not RIB, so I don't own Glee or any of the characters. If I did, I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfiction! This fic is an MPREG fic obviously. Yay! Oh, and the summary's the word-for-word prompt from blangstpromptoftheday (on tumblr - check them out!) Anyway, I own nothing!
December 2013
"Oh Kurt, look at them!"
At the sound of his fiance's voice, Kurt looked up, smiling to himself when he spotted what Blaine was staring at. The love of his life was going all goo-goo eyed over a set of twins along on the other side of the store, the babies all bundled up in a double stroller an aisle away. Their parents were busy scanning something on the shelves and Blaine was all hung up on their kids, smiling and waving at the two when the kids smiled back, their gummy grins delighting Blaine all the while. They couldn't have been older than several months, just old enough to be able to sit up and observe the world around them, and Kurt found himself watching them almost as much as his fiance was.
Because as he looked at the babies (and then looked at Blaine), he could see their future staring back at them. Someday that was going to be the two of them; they'd have children of their own and he'd be able to see this every single day, be able to watch his best friend bond with their kids, making funny faces and singing to them.
He couldn't wait.
::::::::::
A heavy weight on Kurt's chest moved, pressing down hard on his shoulders as it sat up and settled on his stomach. Cringing, he opened his eyes, blinking against the slight darkness to see a shadowy figure sitting on top of him, its blurry form getting closer until it was nose-to-nose with him. Oh. "Landon?"
"Your breath stinks."
Kurt frowned, sliding a hand behind his son's back as he sat up and fixed the toddler's position from his chest to his lap. "Yours isn't much better there, cutie." He said as he ruffled Landon's already fluffed up hair, his still sleepy eyes glancing around the room only to fall on a sleeping mess of limbs in the armchair a few feet away. Blaine was stretched out on the sizeable chair, his legs dangling over the side as he slept on his back, one arm tossed behind his head while the other rested across his stomach. Even from his position on the sofa, Kurt could see how exhausted his ex was; his eyes were dark-ringed, his form looking boneless as he slept through the sounds of the tv blaring from where Landon had begun to find something to watch. Sighing, Kurt lifted the boy from his lap and put him on the sofa, standing up to check on Blaine. The other man was still fast asleep, curly hair falling over his forehead in slightly damp ringlets that signified that he hadn't been home that long. According to the clock on the wall, it was a little after six in the morning and Kurt remembered waking for a second to see Blaine hovering in the doorway just a few hours ago.
He must've had a longer night than he expected.
"Blaine?" His voice barely caused a stir in his ex; Blaine just tightened his arm over his waist and slept on, his mouth slightly parted as he breathed slowly. "Blaine, wouldn't you rather lay on the bed? You're gonna hurt like crazy if you stay out here."
His concerns were still met with nothing. Well, nothing except a slight snore.
Landon, who was still sitting crosslegged on the sofa, giggled at his daddy's snores and he waved the remote at Kurt, smiling when his babysitter's attention was finally on him. "Carry him to bed! Daddy carries me to bed sometimes!"
"Oh Landon, I don't think-"
"Daddy's too sleepy to walk. Carry him!" The little boy tossed the remote to the side, sliding off the soda with ease before he came over to where Kurt was still standing next to the recliner. Smiling up at the other man, he pointed at his dad and then towards the doorway, rushing across the living room as fast as his tiny legs would take him (which was pretty freaking fast, in Kurt's opinion.) "I'll show you the way!"
"Landon-"
"Please! Daddy's back'll hurt if he stays there! Please Mister Kurt?"
There went the puppy dog eyes again, Landon showing off how well he could be persuasive as he gave Kurt a look that felt like he'd been blasted into the past and being asked about something silly by Blaine himself. Shrugging his shoulders, Kurt turned back to his sleeping ex, trying to figure out the best way to lift and carry Blaine down the hall without waking him up. He leaned down, hands slightly shaking as he slid one arm beneath Blaine's legs while the other slipped under his back and curled around his slender waist. Even after all these years, Blaine was still not as light as Kurt remembered him; he wasn't heavy in any sense of the word, but his body was still hard to lift up and drag into his bedroom, much like he had been years ago when they were together and he had to deal with the same instance. Huffing, he hefted his ex's body up, shuffling Blaine back against his chest before he turned to where Landon was standing in the hall, his little face all lit up as he watched his new friend carry his daddy across the room.
"This way!"
As Kurt walked, Blaine snuggled against him, fingers lazily going to rest against Kurt's chest, right above his heart where they always used to go whenever they slept next to each other in bed. It was Blaine's go-to spot when they were together, his hand always falling over Kurt's heart because, as he said in his own words a long, long time ago, "Feeling your heartbeat reminds me of home." At that time, Kurt laughed off his lover's cheesy romantic words, but now, remembering them as he carried Blaine to his bedroom, it hurt like a mother. Tightening his grip, Kurt rounded the corner and followed Landon down the hallway, careful not to bump Blaine's feet against the narrow walls as they walked.
"Daddy's room's right here!" Landon whispered, spinning on his heel to point at the partially closed door. Kurt knew where the room was, he passed it just the day before on his way out of the bathroom, but as he stepped into the threshold, he couldn't believe how nice the room was. Out of the two of them, Kurt had always been the interior decorator, making the design choices and putting stuff together the way he saw fit. Blaine never really said much, just let Kurt do all the choosing, but obviously (obviously, his mind chided) Blaine knew how to decorate just as well as Kurt did.
His mind also added, As he did when he lived with you that one time and wanted a study area! But he pushed that thought out of the way because it hurt too much.
"Can you pull down his blankets for me, sweetheart?"
Landon nodded, climbing onto the bed like a little monkey, his hands yanking and tugging at the bedding to pull apart Blaine's made-up perfection. Once the blankets were pulled down, Kurt crept closer, slowly depositing Blaine onto the mattress with a practiced ease, fighting back the urge to push some of those unruly curls away from his ex's forehead as he stared down at the sleeping man. Landon, who couldn't care less about the strange moment occurring between his babysitter and dad, pulled himself across the bed, kissing his daddy's nose before he crocodile rolled off the mattress and onto the floor.
"Can we make breakfast now?" He asked, tugging on Kurt's pant leg, and Kurt nodded, looking away from Blaine's sleeping face as he glanced down at their child. With one last look at Blaine, Kurt pulled the blankets over his resting ex and then took Landon's hand, walking with him to the kitchen to find something to prepare for their breakfast.
::::::::::
"Mister Kurt?"
"Yeah sweetie?"
"I was playin' with your phone a-and I hit a button and there's a man on here. He says he's your daddy!" Landon stood on his tiptoes, waving Kurt's phone at him with a grin on his face that looked incredibly ornery. When Kurt thanked him and took the phone, the toddler was quick to rush off towards the living room to play in front of the tv, where he should have been while Kurt was busy making their breakfast. However, he obviously got into things he shouldn't have been, which included Kurt's phone that he left charging on the coffee table. With a sigh, he braced himself for the words his father was probably going to have with him for calling him so early in the morning (even though back in Ohio it was much later than what it was in LA), but when he answered, he was surprised to hear his dad laughing.
"Dad?"
"Hey kiddo. Did you know that little brat can talk up a storm? He was talkin' to me for a good fifteen minutes before I was able to get him to bring you the phone!"
"Sorry about that. I'm making breakfast and Blaine's asleep and I forgot my phone was left alone-"
"It's not a problem, bud. I enjoyed speaking with my- erm... grandson. He sounds like he's a cutie."
"He is. He's the cutest." Sniffing, Kurt turned his attention back to stove and panicked, his eyes widening when he noticed the pancake he was trying to fry was burnt on one side. "Shit! I just burnt this pancake. Dad, can I call you back? I'm not good at this multitasking thing."
"You can always let me listen to my grandkid talk for a little bit. I, uh... that would be nice."
Kurt frowned, dumping the burnt pancake into the trash before he called for Landon to come back, setting the phone on the table. He flipped it to speaker and sat the little boy down in a chair, telling him to tell Burt a story while he finished breakfast. Landon was happy to oblige, immediately telling Burt a tale about a magical castle that had a dragon and a pretty singing bird who granted wishes. Kurt listened on as he cooked, easily finishing off several pancakes by the time Landon was done storytelling (the tale he told even included an original song that Kurt thought was the cutest thing ever.) By the time the pancakes were plated (complete with fruit on the side), Landon was ready to eat, digging into his meal as soon as Kurt laid the plate on the table. "Dad, we're gonna eat now, but I will call you back as soon as I can, okay?" He didn't miss the sniffling sound of his father's breathing and he shook his head, hating that his dad was getting emotional over this, over something that he would've known about years ago if-
He stopped, pushing back those same thoughts that had been plaguing him for days as he took a seat at the table and finished saying bye to his dad. When the call was over, he started to eat too, taking his time enjoying the alone time he was able to spend with his son. Landon was yumming over the taste of his food, occasionally sending Kurt a thumbs up and a nod as he ate and before Kurt knew it, he'd polished off more than half of his plate, finally pushing it away with a sigh.
"You were really hungry!"
"That was good. Thanks Mister Kurt!"
"You're welcome, sweetheart. Do you want to help me clean up?"
"Okay!" Sliding out of his chair, Landon rushed to the sink and waited for Kurt to dump their plates. The two of them cleaned up the kitchen in no time, putting away the leftovers and loading the dishwasher like it was nothing. By the time some of Landon's favorite shows were starting to play on the tv, they were finished cleaning and relaxing on the sofa, Landon stretched out with Margaret Thatcher dog at his side while Kurt played on his phone. It was during this rest period that Kurt decided to snap a photo of Lan to send to his dad, captioning it with Meet Landon! Within seconds, his phone was buzzing with a text about how adorable the little boy was... and then, a few minutes later, a photo text showed up.
It was a picture of Kurt at that age, sprawled out on the couch with a lollipop in one hand and the remote for the VCR in the other... and in the photo he looked just like Landon.
"Who's that?" A voice asked to his left. Kurt looked down, not surprised to find Landon leaning over him as he studied the photo on his phone. "Who's that boy? Is that me?"
"No, sweetie. That's me when I was your age."
"You look like me!"
"Yeah, I do."
"Can I see?" Leaning down, Landon wrapped his fingers around Kurt's shirt and hunched forward, looking at the photo closely before he sat back and looked at Kurt with narrowed eyes. "Your eyes are blue. In this picture, they're green!"
"That they are. My eyes change colors. Sometimes they're blue, sometimes they're green, sometimes they're grey. Your eyes are like that too. They change colors; so do your daddy's. You guys have hazel eyes."
"Hazel?"
"Yeah. They're like green and brown mixed together. They're very pretty."
Landon tilted his head in thought, staring deep into Kurt's eyes for a second before he looked back at the picture. "Do you have any games on your phone?" Like that, his questions about the photo and eye color were over and Kurt smiled at him, closing the text screen to look for something for Landon to play. Finally he settled on the ancient Angry Birds app, showing the toddler how to swipe his finger across the screen to shoot the birds into random boxes and crates. It took Landon a few minutes to catch on, but before Kurt knew it, he was cackling in laughter as the birds flew into boxes and exploded. Once he was occupied, Kurt decided to take another look at the DVDs Blaine had scattered on his entertainment center, settling on watching another one of the Landon tapes while the boy in question busied himself by shooting birds into piles of sticks.
::::::::::
May 2015
"Do you ever feel like just calling Kurt up and telling him about Landon?"
"No. God, Coop! Why do you always ask me that?" Blaine rolled his eyes, shifting Landon's position in his arms as he waited for the bottle warmer to ding so he could get Landon's lunch out. His son was screaming, his tiny red-tinged face pressed into his daddy's shoulder as he cried out his demand for food. He'd been like that for hours now, crying because he was sick and now he was hungry, and all Blaine could do was try to sing to him in order to calm him down.
It wasn't working.
Cooper, who was miraculously home for once, was sitting at the dining room table, forehead resting on his folded arms as he huffed and puffed about how noisy his nephew was. That's all Blaine heard since his brother got back from his publicity tour for the credit company he did commercials for. It was always stuff about the baby. Why does he cry so much? How come I have to hold him? Can't you take a shower later? Couldn't you take him somewhere else? I'm trying to memorize my lines.
To be truthful, Blaine felt terrible about encroaching in on his brother's space. It was a last minute thing really. He called up Cooper because he felt like he had no one else to turn to during that time of need, but ever since he got there, he felt like Cooper didn't want him around either. It wasn't like he and his brother were super close. They tried rebuilding their relationship after Coop came to Ohio back in 2012, but once he went back to LA, that whole becoming better brothers thing flew right out the window. Now that he was a young dad, Blaine was able to see just how immature his older brother really was. Cooper was selfish, always thinking of how things affected him, not others, and while Blaine loved his brother very much, he hated that it felt like there was a wedge between them at that moment.
A wedge that was obviously the wee one in his arms.
"C'mon, baby. Daddy's almost got your bottle. It's okay. Shh, honey. Shh."
"He's been crying for days, Blaine. I've got an audition in two days and I haven't been able to get any sleep. This living arrangement's just not working. Are you sure you can't go back to Kurt? I mean-"
"I can't go back to New York, Coop! Nobody wants me there and obviously I'm not wanted here either so why do I even bother?!"
"Blaine, that's not-"
"You want me to move out. I got that easily from what you just said. I'm not dumb, you know?" Shaking his head, Blaine rocked his son as he glared at the warming machine, two seconds away from tearing the lid off and saying fuck it before he gave Landon a lukewarm bottle. At that thought, he took in a deep breath, body trembling as he struggled to calm himself down before he exploded. Everything was weighing on him so heavily: taking care of Landon all alone, hearing Cooper bitch at him about the smallest things when he hadn't been there in months, and knowing that everything was crashing down on him yet again. Landon was sick, his doctor bills were racking up because the poor little guy had tummy issues in the beginning followed by colic and now a double ear infection. Blaine couldn't help that his poor boy was hurting; if he could, he would take every little pain and discomfort from his son just so he wouldn't have to hear him cry. But, life wasn't fair and instead of him being ill, Landon was and Blaine couldn't do anything about it except pray that the doctor's gave him medicine that would finally soothe his baby's aches.
"I'm just saying that maybe you should tell Kurt about Landon. He'd take you back in a-"
"I don't want him to take me back, Cooper! He threw me out like I was yesterday's garbage! If he took me back now, it would just be because of Landon and how am I supposed to take that? Oh, I didn't want you, but you have my baby so let's get back together! Forget that. I don't need him!"
"You're living on my couch-"
"God, would you stop reminding me about that? I'm sorry I'm ruining your life. Jesus!" A deep ache throbbed in Blaine's heart as he fought with the tears that brimmed in his eyes. He was probably being dramatic; in fact, he was sure he was blowing things a little out of the water, but Landon was screaming, Cooper was coming at him for no reason whatsoever, and now he was thinking about Kurt. It was all just hovering there in his head, taunting him like the kids used to do to him at school. Everything he'd ever learned in therapy flew right out the window as more and more pressure came down on him and finally he just let go, his mouth parting as shaky, gasping sobs slipped from his lips.
"Oh shit, Blaine. Don't do this. C'mon."
His crying grew a little louder, mixing in with the baby's screams, and soon after that, the incessant buzz of the bottle warmer started, alerting them that the formula was ready. Cooper got up from the table, shutting off the warmer before he pulled the bottle from inside and tested it on his wrist, gently sliding Landon out of Blaine's arms so that he could take the baby over and feed him. Once Blaine's arms were empty, he slumped to the ground, sobbing into his knees as he listened to Cooper quietly sing to Landon on the other side of the room.
Cooper left him alone about Kurt after that... and a few weeks later, Blaine moved out.
::::::::::
Blaine jerked awake, sweat dripping off his temple as he sat up and looked around the room. He wasn't sure what exactly caused him to shoot up like that, but he'd been having strange dreams all night long. Dreams that were mostly like flashbacks plagued his slumber and the last one made his heart ache as he thought about one of the last fights he had with his big brother before he moved out. These days, he and Cooper were closer, not as close as he imagined they'd be, but Coop stepped up after he found out about Blaine's other job. Like everybody else, he begged his brother to do something else, to not strip, but Blaine pushed him away, telling him that he had it controlled, that he was doing just fine with work and everything.
He didn't tell Cooper about the counseling or that he had an admirer named Richard who liked him way too much for someone that was old enough to be his father.
Pushing back the thought of Richard and that ancient fight with Coop, Blaine wiped his hand across his forehead and pushed the sweat from his eyes, stretching his tired body before he finally glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was after noon, about twenty-five after, so he'd got a little sleep in. However, as he was thinking about the rest he was able to get, panic consumed him over the thought of what Landon was doing. Scared, he leapt out of bed and took off running down the hall, his footsteps freezing when he heard Kurt's voice come floating out of the kitchen. As he peeked into the room, he found Landon and Kurt standing side by side at the counter, Landon balancing on his red stepstool while he handed Kurt some vegetables to chop. Something delicious was simmering on the stove and Blaine's heart fell a little bit when he realized that Kurt was making his family's famous veggie soup. It had been yearssince he had a bowl (it had been one of his favorites when they were together) and as he took in his son helping Kurt with the veggies, he had yet another painful flash of what could've been shoot through his mind.
"Daddy! Daddy's awake!" Landon squealed, breaking the spell in Blaine's brain as he glanced up and found the two staring back at him. Kurt was smiling, a soft expression on his face as he took in Blaine's rumpled clothing and sleep fluffed hair. Landon, on the other hand, was beaming at his dad, waving at him to come into the kitchen. "Mister Kurt's teaching me how to make soup! I love soup! Daddy loves soup too!"
"I know," Kurt said quietly and Blaine sucked in a deep breath, stepping forward into the kitchen until he was standing next to Landon.
"Is that your family's vegetable soup recipe?"
"Yep. Landon said he wanted soup and I thought of the perfect one to make considering you have a great stock of veggies in your fridge right now."
Blaine stared at him, eyes looking deep into Kurt's as they both looked at each other for a moment or two. To be honest, Blaine wasn't sure what Kurt was playing at. One minute they were complete strangers and now Kurt was weaseling his way into their life. At first he was terrified to have Kurt there (and he still was, a little) but now he was curious... because what in the world was going on? He didn't trust Kurt at all, not after everything that had gone down between them over the years, but as he watched Kurt with Landon, he felt himself growing more interested in his ex's behavior. It was so strange to him.
Then his brain remembered something he said oh so long ago: Oh, I didn't want you, but you have my baby so let's get back together!
Was that it? Was Landon the reason why Kurt was back? Why Kurt was doing this? He watched Kurt show Landon how to pour the vegetables into a bowl together to mix before they went into the pot. Kurt was so gentle with him, so kind and quiet, careful to make sure Landon didn't get too close to the stove. He kept smiling at him too, like he was incredibly proud of the little boy beside him, and Blaine wanted to yell that Landon was the way he was because ofhim.
"Do you want anything to go along with the soup?"
Blaine looked up at his ex's words, surprised to find Landon skittering off to the living room, leaving him and Kurt alone. "What?"
"A long time ago, we used to make bread to go with the soup. Did you want-"
"I... Kurt, what are you doing?"
"What?"
"This. Being here with me and Landon, taking care of Landon and looking at him like- like... like you love him."
"I do love-"
"You barely even know him. You barely even know me." Crossing his arms over his chest, Blaine leaned against the counter. "You're engaged, Kurt. You live in New York, we live here, and you're going to be leaving in a few days. What are you doing?"
Kurt swallowed, glancing towards the living room where he could hear Landon playing, his sweet voice melting Kurt's heart the more and more he heard it. He thought about his argument with Alex, about his talk with his dad and how he was now having all these doubts (even though some of those doubts were already there in his head months ago, now strengthened by everything happening around him.) He looked at Blaine, at how strong his ex was and how much of an amazing parent he was to their son, to the child he knew nothing about... and he didn't know what to say. Because he was sure if he just started telling Blaine everything he'd scare him away. Frowning, he ducked his head, shaking it as he looked at his socked feet. "I don't know."
"You don't know? You're in my house, spending time with my child, and I don't understand. I just want to know why."
"I don't know."
Blaine's eyes narrowed into a glare. "Well when you figure it out, can you at least tell me? It's the least you can do after fucking up my life. Okay? Thanks." With that one last barb, Blaine turned on his heel and left the kitchen, leaving Kurt staring sadly after him. In the living room, Landon began talking up a storm about the bird game he played on Kurt's phone and Kurt leaned against the counter, wounded heart slowly piecing itself back together as he began trying to figure out what exactly he was going to do.
Or, more importantly, how he was going to explain everything to Blaine.
A/N: If this chapter has a bunch of mistakes, I apologize. I wanted to get this out before I left for vacation and my ride's on the way so off I go! This will be the last update until next week, but you can check out my tumblr for any updates about ME if you want. I also have mpreg fic recs on there for you to read if you get bored while waiting for me to return! Until next time! Please review!